| | what should i do with this girl ?Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | So here goes i've bin with a woman now now for 3 years we have bin taken things slow like moving in together and all that...In the start of this we did real good alot of pasion alot of want for each outher thats normal I suppose. Now I have all the pasion and as far as i can tell she really has none but very little spur of the moment type things here are some of my problems. About 1 year and a half into our deal i found out she got married and kept it a secret i'm kind of old fashion and i really had a problem with this and walked away for a little time a month ... When i first found out i really went off the chain could not even talk to her the moral character was unreal .. During my time I asked around and discoverd that this was a bogus marriage to rip of the goverment seems contract marriage is becoming the norm another slap in my face for what kind of person this is i'm dealing with but okay and i verified this so it was true there is no love there just for the money and free stuff.. Is that terrible?..
So life kept moving along and things got odd just really hard to get any of her time very hard to get her to spend a weekend with me about a year of that type of actions went on and i started asking do you ever want to take us to the next level and try to move in together mabey build some kind of life give it all we got type thing ..She said no way ha .. Is this a bad sign? Or simply just not ready .. Now i some what get that i'm 31 she's 26 she wants to be free and live it up is how I took it and said okay we'll just keep moving along .. About 6 months ago now things have just got out of control. No love but she says she does but i never hear it no pasion but still sex and i still remain very much in love if not more then when we became a item. She will vanish for a day a night not even a text. One time she said hold on i'll call you right back and i never heard from her for over a day and a half ...ha.. crazey ..Well so here i'em like this girl is cheating or on drugs one or the outher..I have a talk with her and she acts as if there was nothing odd about that type of action..Well more of a ignore it change the subject hows your day type reaction ..is she a liar? I think so ....What do i do with this girl this is where this gets hard for me and i'm lost i would have gotten rid of this girl in a heart beat but she only says no i'm in love i want us together im happy ..Dumb me i keep going with it .. Okay now the pudding on the cake i stop by her house she new i was comming..Im sitting there shes doing somthing in the house.. Here lies a note on the table i read this note and it basicly says what a good night with you i enjoy lieing in your bed and our time together ..I was not in to much shock becouse we only bin together for three years and i know she likes to keep these little love letters around could have bin years ago i say to my self what ever turns your clock ..I must just be really stupid ? I don't know ..I keep hanging out talking with her did not say a thing about it.. Then here I'em just talking and there is the note pad the red pen same kind of paper on the table ..At that point i had to ask ..That was a time frame for me this note was days weeks max.. Right ?....Anyway shes got a temper got a little crazey when i said i saw it blamed it on me its from years ago preety crisp paper for years ...Okay so there are the facts its plain as day she had another man in her bed but she will not admit it says i'm crazey years ago denies it... Anyway days go move along ..So what do i do here any ideas ...To this day she says i'm it i'm the only one is this possible for a woman to have friends like this should i belive this person? ...I mean there is no hard evidence ..? Why would she drag me along why not just get rid of me ? I do pay alot of her bills would she keep me around for this ..?kind of a user type woman ..Or is this just the way she is mabey depressed type person .I got no clue here i just dont want to loose her if i'm wrong ..Just thought mabey a little public ideas would be intresting .. | |
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| what should i do with this girl ?
Posted: 8/4/2011 11:20:29 PM | Not sure what you should do with the girl, I didn't read what you posted. Please, next time, use paragraphs.
edit to add: Jesus kerist on a popsicle stick. You've wasted three years on this woman. You either decide to move on or remain her whipping boy.
You can imagine which choice I'm thinking you'll take. | |
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| what should i do with this girl ?
Posted: 8/5/2011 12:18:44 AM | | I'd say dump her a$$. Go back to school, get an education, meet a good woman, or, explore other relationships. Maybe get a job in an underground BDSM club as a whipping boy. Your future is now.. get out of this rut, and learn to live again. | |
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| what should i do with this girl ?
Posted: 8/5/2011 2:24:28 AM | So here goes. I’ve been with a woman now for 3 years. We have been taking things slowly, like moving in together and all that. In the start of this we did real good, a lot of passion, and a lot of want for each other that’s normal I suppose. Now I have all the passion and as far as I can tell she really has none, but very little spur of the moment type things here are some of my problems.
About 1 year and a half into our deal, I found out she got married and kept it a secret. I’m kind of old fashioned, and I really had a problem with this and walked away for a little time, a month. When I first found out, I really went off the chain, could not even talk to her: the moral character was unreal. During my time, I asked around and discovered that this was a bogus marriage to rip off the government; seems contract marriage is becoming the norm; another slap in my face for what kind of person this is I’m dealing with, but okay, and I verified this, so it was true: there is no love there, just for the money and free stuff. Is that terrible?
So life kept moving along, and things got odd, just really hard to get any of her time, very hard to get her to spend a weekend with me. About a year of that type of action went on, and I started asking do you ever want to take us to the next level and try to move in together, maybe build some kind of life, give it all we got type thing. She said no way, ha . Is this a bad sign? Or simply just not ready . Now I somewhat get that I’m 31, she's 26. She wants to be free and live it up is how I took it and said okay we'll just keep moving along .
About 6 months ago now things have just gotten out of control. No love but she says she does but I never hear it, no passion, but still sex, and I still remain very much in love if not more then when we became an item. She will vanish for a day, a night, not even a text. One time she said hold on, I’ll call you right back, and I never heard from her for over a day and a half ...ha… crazy.
Well so here I am. This girl is cheating or on drugs, one or the other. I had a talk with her, and she acts as if there was nothing odd about that type of action. Well, more of an ignore it, change the subject, how’s your day type reaction. Is she a liar? I think so.
What do I do with this girl? This is where…(?) beat but she only says, no I’m in love, and I want us together. I'm happy. Dumb me. I keep going with it.
Okay, now the frosting on the cake: I stop by her house; she new I was coming. I’m sitting there; she’s doing something in the house. Here lies a note on the table. I read this note, and it basically says what a good night with you. I enjoy lying in your bed and our time together. I was not in too much shock because we only been together for three years, and I know she likes to keep these little love letters around. Could have been years ago. I say to myself what ever turns your clock.
I must just be really stupid ? I don't know. I keep hanging out, talking with her, did not say a thing about it. Then here I’m just talking, and there is the note pad, the red pen, same kind of paper on the table. At that point I had to ask. That was a time frame for me; this note was days, weeks max. Right?
Anyway, she’s got a temper; got a little crazy when I said I saw it; blamed it on me. It’s from years ago; pretty crisp paper for years. Okay, so those are the facts. It’s plain as day; she had another man in her bed, but she will not admit. She says I’m crazy, years ago, denies it.
Anyway, days move along. So what do I do here? Any ideas ?
To this day she says I’m it, I’m the only one. Is this possible for a woman to have friends like this? Should I believe this person? I mean, there is no hard evidence. Why would she drag me along? Why not just get rid of me? I do pay a lot of her bills. Would she keep me around for this? Kind of a user type woman. Or is this just the way she is? Maybe a depressed type person? I got no clue here. I just don’t want to lose her if I’m wrong. Just thought maybe a little public ideas would be interesting .
Long story. You have been used for 3 years.
To answer your questions: What you do is dump her, pronto. No, you should not believe her. She is lying to you and probably always has. She keeps you around because you pay a lot of her bills. Yes, she is a user, and she is using you. She doesn't love you. She fu*ks other guys. She marries another man. She is stringing you along to use you. Please, dump her asap and move on. Find somene who likes you, cares about you, respects you, doesn't use you or cheat on you. Get a clue. You say you don't have a clue. Well, get one.
You won't be losing her. You won't be losing anything. She is flotsom, garbage: kick her to the curb. You are losing nothing by getting rid of this horrible woman. | |
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| what should i do with this girl ?
Posted: 8/5/2011 3:07:05 AM | Good Lord this was a pain to read.
3 years of drama, time to move on.
Enroll in College, get an Education, find new interests. This is just mortifying. The text that is. The situation is tragic to. | |
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| what should i do with this girl ?
Posted: 8/5/2011 3:55:22 AM | Yes I agree with other posters...dump this woman immediately!!! What are you waiting for...more love letters from other men she’s with sleeping in your bed...or maybe another secret marriage?
P.S.
Thanks Velma, for the corrected version of this post. It was much easier on the eyes with comas and paragraph breaks.
Titus | |
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| what should i do with this girl ?
Posted: 8/5/2011 4:00:52 AM | I did try to digest your story---I always remind myself that there are three sides to any good story---YOURS---HIS/HERS---and the TRUTH.
Now, I ask you this---if everything you say is truthful why are you still with her?
Just saying. Best of luck
MM | |
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majyk1
| | Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 11 | |
| what should i do with this girl ?
Posted: 8/5/2011 4:09:32 AM | I'm sorry, you're 31 and write like your 12. I just couldn't stomach trying to read even the first 3 lines.
I don't know about any "girl".... but try working on YOU, what you want, how you want to be treated and how to write a few paragraphs in English. | |
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| what should i do with this girl ?
Posted: 8/5/2011 4:33:03 AM | I couldn't read the whole mess either, but I read enough. You already KNOW that she is a liar and a user. Obviously, the only reason you are still with her at all, is that you are afraid to lose what little she DOES give you. That's how she bought YOUR soul.
Want your soul and your life back? You can take it any time you want, by simply walking away. You already know this. But you are waiting to be forced to do it, so that you can come back and post in broken hearts forums about this mess as well, saying it wasn't your fault, and woe is me. | |
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kcv56
| | Joined: 11/28/2010
Msg: 14 | |
| what should i do with this girl ?
Posted: 8/5/2011 5:11:39 AM | She likes the sex when she wants you she loves the fact that you pay her bills. Stop paying for sex you can get a hooker and it will be cheaper. She is a crook and taking you for a ride, stop paying her bills and see what happens..... she will be gone | |
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| what should i do with this girl ?
Posted: 8/5/2011 6:36:18 AM | Oh Man where do I begin? My WTF to English translator just about choked reading this for me, and now she might have to go on Disability because of it 
Second would it of killed you to use paragraphs , it was really hard to read, but from what I can gather is you picked a real winner there, and you seem a bit on the daft side son, a year into the relationship you found out shes married but she doesn't love the guy and you stayed with her, that is called STOOOOPID.
Is she cheating, who knows? but she a whack job, and you're a bit on the daft side, there is nothing any of us can suggest except, grow a pair, kick her to the curb, purchase hooked on phonics or a course at night school.
Good luck to you sport. | |
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| what should i do with this girl ?
Posted: 8/5/2011 8:35:32 AM | It is a unfortunate it took so long for you to figure out you were being used by her. You are not the first fellow to be taken in by an available Girl. Your problem is, unfortunately, YOU.
Taking the time to educate yourself would go a long ways to lift your self esteem and make you less susceptable to being sucked in because you are just plain horney. When you are forced to scrape the bottom of the barrel, you can expect to fine whatever lies there.
Step one, get some education, it can get you a better job, a better girl and a better life!!!!
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| what should i do with this girl ?
Posted: 8/5/2011 8:38:47 AM | I guess the verdict is in ..People are harsh around here. Sorry about the writing I never even looked it
over ..what does daft mean? .So this all means im not the crazey one then ..And I sure don't want to be a whipping boy .. | |
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| what should i do with this girl ?
Posted: 8/5/2011 8:47:56 AM | Sure some people are harsh, and some are realistic and intelligent too, what you're doing falls under the category of STOOOPID
You know shes a user, untrustworthy and a flake, we call what you're doing is "stupid chivalry" by getting involved with a woman is a whack job, liar, user etc" guys like you because you probably has good sex with her or shes hot, puts up with her behavior and then questions aloud why is she doing what she is doing to you? hence my daft comment to you, which means "stupid, impractical, or rather strange.'
You think you can change her ? you cant, you cannot change a person that doesnt want to change, its like the old saying " convince a man/woman against their will is of the same opinion still" most folks that has high self esteem, intelligence , confidence would of kick the person to the curb a long time ago. | |
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| what should i do with this girl ?
Posted: 8/5/2011 8:59:45 AM | | Dude. Run and don't look back. This women is sick, she cannot and will not take any responsibility for her actions, ever. She is cheating but in her mind, its fine the only reason she has you there is because of her fear of abandonment, rejection (unless its theyre choice) Believe it or not the closer you try to get to her the further she'll run because of HUGH intimacy problems. It sounds to me like she has borderline personality disorder. I feel for you man, get into therapy, work on your co-dependent issues. go no contact she's a drug to you. | |
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| what should i do with this girl ?
Posted: 8/5/2011 9:08:07 AM | | Thank guys everything you all said is right guess I just had to hear it out loud ...It helps ..Thanks for your time .. | |
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| what should i do with this girl ?
Posted: 8/5/2011 9:20:00 AM | PARAGRAPHS and SPELL CHECK are your friends.
I couldn't read all of that but I got the point you were trying to get across.
This woman doesn't want to be tied down and you alluded to that in your original
post so you know it. Yes, it's time to move on. Your being played. | |
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| what should i do with this girl ?
Posted: 8/5/2011 12:05:45 PM | I guess the verdict is in ..People are harsh around here. Sorry about the writing I never even looked it over ..what does daft mean? .So this all means im not the crazey one then ..And I sure don't want to be a whipping boy ..
Thank guys everything you all said is right guess I just had to hear it out loud ...It helps ..Thanks for your time Well, OP, people here can be pretty tough on those who start threads, especially when the thread is asking for help on a personal problem. Compared to how a lot of people are treated, you haven't done too badly.
The bottom line is, this girl is playing you. You're being very naive about it. You are definitely NOT the one who is crazy....she's the one who is a head case: cheating, lying, manipulating and using you.
I hope you can put her out of your life and move on. The sooner the better. This is not a healthy situation for you, caring about a woman like that. | |
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| what should i do with this girl ?
Posted: 8/5/2011 12:53:15 PM | Ya its going to be a tuff won but not the first time ..Now the question is how do I handle it ..Just not say anything but its over or do I start a huge fight ha..And I feel like I would be be a bad person if I just
Droped her on her but ...Mabey that's what she needs thow ...Only one person said she is just not ready..is that such a bad thing thow..Mabey she'll change only young once .. | |
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| what should i do with this girl ?
Posted: 8/5/2011 12:59:57 PM | Im beginning to question your emotional maturity OP, I really am. You sound like a doormat now, and I think you started this thread to get validation regarding how to handle this woman.
Most folks on here looking at your situation from the outside looking in sees what she is all about , you cannot see it because its hard to see the forest when you're standing in the middle of one. Most has told you to kick her to the curb for your own piece of mind.
Shes a user you know it but your self esteem is sooooooooo low, you're hanging out with the worms about to be fish food for fishes that preys on worms and suckers.
Any ways sport good luck to you. | |
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