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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?      Home login  
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 newreality2010
Joined: 10/29/2010
Msg: 1
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Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside? Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
We are all supposed to be ourselves, (whatever that means)
but when you know someone is coming over, do you clean the house?

Mine isn't extremely messy (I wouldn't qualify for those hoarder shows) but I am busy during the day, and usually let the dishes pile up for a day or two, and then I have a dog, who somehow manages to bless my home with dust bunnies, the likes of which you wouldn't imagine.
I also smoke, and I smoke inside when my kids aren't here.

Whenever I invite someone over, i feel totally stressed out about cleaning my toilet, banishing the dust bunnies, and cleaning the baseboards. I will even spray febreeze, and smoke outside for the day!! It's a lot of work!

I feel like people should just accept me for me, slightly disorganised and messy, and that i smoke. I also have a 100 pound dog, who slobbers everywhere.
Even on my guests, when they feel incined to pet him!!

I am just wondering, when you invite a person to your home (love interest, or simply a playdate for the kids) do you go out of your way to clean up, even though it's "not you"

If you go to a womans house, how clean do you expect it to be?
If there are dust bunnies under the coffee table, does it turn you off?
what about dishes in the sink? And dog slober on the toilet seat?

Not too many people make it to my bedroom, but that is perhaps the messiest room in the house. All my personal items are hanging on hooks, and my bathroom is a flurry of makeup, dirty clothes, and whatever is in my trash can.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 2
Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/8/2011 10:25:12 PM
My place is pretty neat most of the time so I don't really need to do a lot of straightening up if someone comes over.

I never smoke in the house... so that's not an issue.

If I have a few dirty dishes in the sink or haven't vacuumed or mopped I don't think anyone is going to notice... the main thing that I see when I visit someone is the clutter and I don't have any.

Makes life much easier.
 Kitten189
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 3
Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/8/2011 10:56:15 PM

And dog slober on the toilet seat?


Eeww............what is your dog doing in the toilet?
No.1's or no.2's??

I would definitely do a bit of a quick cleanup if i knew someone was coming over(if it was necessary). And,i never have dishes in the sink coz luckily,i have a dishwasher.
You CAN tell a LOT about a person and how they live by their home
 newreality2010
Joined: 10/29/2010
Msg: 4
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Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/8/2011 11:12:10 PM
I suppose he is doing number 3, drinking. LOL. I bought him a water bowl, but he is really intent on the toilets...don't know why....
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 5
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Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 4:09:38 AM
Me? I am overly prissy. I can afford to be- I live alone in a small apartment which is ultra modern and easy to maintain. There really would be NO excuse for me to let it go. I work full time but even so... it takes an hour to clean my lil place top to toe.

My SO... he has a 4 b/r house, 1920's and in need of some TLC, is out 12 or 13 hrs a day due to commuting, has 2 outdoor hounds and 2 adult sons who smoke indoors when they are there and do not clean up (WHOLE nuther thread lol). It would be totally unreasonable for me to expect him to keep his place like I keep mine. As long as he fills the dishwasher and tries to keep some semblance of order I am happy.

For a first home visit... yeah I would make the effort but for my guy it would take 2 days to make his house look like mine!!! And... truly, I go there to see him not to run my fingers over his surfaces. Well... some of his surfaces maybe
 PrunellaJones
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 6
Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 4:27:10 AM
I would definitely do a bit of a quick cleanup if i knew someone was coming over(if it was necessary). And,i never have dishes in the sink coz luckily,i have a dishwasher.
You CAN tell a LOT about a person and how they live by their home
Yes, you can tell A LOT about someone based on the condition of their home environment. If I went to a man's home and it was dirty or very, very messy.....ick...that would be a real turn off. I'd be envisioning spending time there if we became a couple, and it would not be nice or I would be cleaning all the time so I could tolerate it. I'd imagine if it ever came to the point of living together and how I'd be picking up after him and doing all the housework.... no ...no...NO

I think this is another area where people need to be compatible. My standards are not excessively high, and I don't recall ever being involved with someone who was too messy or too dirty. My current SO is about the same as I regarding expectations for a tidy home, although he needs to be reminded or asked sometimes about vacuuming or anything much more serious than dishwashing and keeping things tidy. But he does laundry and even irons, plus washing dishes and tidying up. Not bad, imo.

OT: I always clean up when someone is coming over. Whatever needs done--probably vacuuming, dusting, washing the dishes. Serious cleaning is about once a week....though I hate it. Hate housework, but it has to be done.
 PrunellaJones
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 7
Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 4:31:26 AM

My SO... he has a 4 b/r house, 1920's and in need of some TLC, is out 12 or 13 hrs a day due to commuting, has 2 outdoor hounds and 2 adult sons who smoke indoors when they are there and do not clean up (WHOLE nuther thread lol). It would be totally unreasonable for me to expect him to keep his place like I keep mine. As long as he fills the dishwasher and tries to keep some semblance of order I am happy.
Can't he get a cleaner to come in once a week?
 UglyFroggieCritter
Joined: 8/21/2010
Msg: 8
Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 4:34:53 AM
I clean every day for about an hour so I'd have no qualms about someone dropping over for a visit.

Cleaning makes me happy. Or it could be my iPod. Either way, I get a bit of a work out (four bedroom/two bath) and the house stays clean.

I'm not dating at this time but when I did in the past, I've never had any problems with the levels of cleanliness that I encountered. For men, they were very particular about their houses. Nice.

Eons ago when I was fishing, we stayed overnight at the first mate's house. Never ever again, I slept the rest of the fall season on the boat. I'd rather live with fish guts and the cold than sleep in a place that had never been cleaned. It was pretty much disgusting.
 MsMuscleChick
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 9
Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 4:37:42 AM
I am not OCD but I am a dog owner and for my own sake, I keep a spotless as can be house. Sure, I have days where I might leave a dish in the sink or put it in the dish washer...but I cannot do a dirty house. I do not smoke and no on is allowed to smoke in here.

I have 2 dogs, and I simply keep the house that much cleaner. My bedroom is clean too...

Someone will simply have to like you for who you are and how you live...it is not like you can pretend to be someone other than who you are....
 Spider_Woman
Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 10
Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 4:49:41 AM
I got a 5-minute solution that will fix you right up. Put an easel in your living room with a painting in progress.

It's amazing how many people still cut you slack with the thought "oh, she's an artist." You get to be flaky and temperamental without having to be tidy; timely; or logical.
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 11
Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 5:02:08 AM
^^^ which painting is that in progress then, a self-portrait of you hanging from the rafters of my barn? a plate of pork chops?? bridezilla??? i've seen your paintings-in-progress.... FRIGHTENING. so i am not sure if you are suggesting that your paintings explain your eccentricity or whether you're saying that your weirdness explains your strange, half-finished paintings. one of life's little mysteries.

i go thru these cycles of being totally neat and where i'm making the bed every day, to letting the dishes pile up in the sink. there is no rhyme or reason to it but only how distracted i am with other stuff. it's sorta like playing russian roulette with my friends... which one will stop by UNINVITED while there's dog hair in the corners?? and... how will i be judged for my imperfections?? last but not least, is it anything like how i judge my friends for theirs?? . this makes life exciting at random intervals. hey, this is indiana.

vvvv LOL!
 Spider_Woman
Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 12
Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 5:07:32 AM
It's a painting of you, Love. That's why it's frightening.
Hey! I never said the art had to be good! In fact, make it bad, and you'll get sympathy in addition to tolerance

I think going to someone's house, smiling in their face, accepting their hospitality, and then dogging their decorating to others is much worse than details like not having wire-brushed the lime from the back of the sink fixtures.

^^^big loud smacking kiss. possibly wet.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 13
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Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 6:00:31 AM
Dogs always seem to prefer drinking out of the toilet, I have no idea why. Doesn't matter that they have a clean, full water bowl, they just prefer the toilet.

My dog only weighs 89 pounds, yours has mine beat by a few pounds.

As to the house cleaning, I tend not to worry too much about it. My house is disorganized, but not dirty, and anyone who would obsess over a few dog hairs is probably not that compatible with me anyway.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 14
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Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 6:05:10 AM
I used to worry far more about guests arriving to my home and my home not being tip top. Then laying in a hospital bed for many months and my family and friends coming to see me, showing love and concern, it hit me. They didnt give a rats azz if my house was untidy. They cared about ME and not that I was the windex queen.

I believe in being clean and tidy but if someone comes over and Im not done my chores, they dont care and neither do I anymore. They came to see me.

I also cannot say I have ever left a real freinds place thinking about thier chores. I was there to see them and I didnt even notice the tasks they had not completed, until they felt the need to point them out cause they felt bad themselves.

We worry way to much about appearances in our culture.

When I die I want to be remembered for being caring and there for my loved ones, not that I kept a clean house.
 PrunellaJones
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 16
Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 6:12:16 AM

Dogs always seem to prefer drinking out of the toilet, I have no idea why. Doesn't matter that they have a clean, full water bowl, they just prefer the toilet.

I had a large lab for 12 years. She never once drank out of the toilet, and if she had tried to, I would have taught her not to. You can teach dogs to behave. I could leave her alone in the house for 12 hours and she would do no damage, not get into the garbage, not drink out of the toilet, not make a mess, etc. Dogs can be civilized. In my experience, people underrate what their children and animals can be taught to do as far as behavior. And my dog was not oppressed. People always commented on how happy she appeared. I didn't teach her to behave by being mean to her.
 infinestforum
Joined: 7/21/2011
Msg: 17
Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 6:14:54 AM
Oh this hit a note with me! I moved from a roomy 1800 sq ft house to one of 723 sq ft.. I had 10 acres at the other house and have a postage stamp sized yard now. I brought with me 3 dogs and 2 cats. The largest is 140 lbs and is 5ft from tip of nose to tip of tail. He has bloodhound in him so when he gets a drink of water those folds hold water and he always shake his head after a drink. He is constantly shedding and as soon as I run the sweeper I can turn around and see a fur ball the size of a chihuahua roll by.

If that was not bad enough I am undergoing a whole house renovation so dust abounds. I spend a lot of time cleaning as I am actually a neat freak but OMG this is driving me insane! I have been living out of boxes for the past 2 years. I hope no one judges me on my cleaning at this point in my life.

Iffy
 Pinayto
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 18
Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 6:15:46 AM
LOL. I grew up seeing members of my family clean the house squeaky clean whenever there are visitors and especially special occasions when we invite a lot of people. It's not like our house is filthy on a daily basis. But it sure is not as immaculate as when we have visitors. It is not about being pretentious. It is about common courtesy. I for one don't understand how some people present themselves so tidy and clean but when you go to their house the filth is unimaginable. I look down on people like that.
 junipermoon
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 19
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Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 6:25:25 AM
to me, it seems a gesture of respect to make sure my i don't have dishes in the sink, cat fur all over the furniture and mud all over the floor when someone visits.

since i have a second job as a gardener, i track dirt, leaves and flowers everywhere when i come home. so i spend loads of time wiping down any surfaces i've touched or walked on. i especially want guests to feel comfortable, so i absolutely make sure i've cleaned up the trail of garden debris i've left throughout the place. i also go around with a lint roller to get cat fur off the chairs etc.

i hate going into a filthy home, and i don't want my friends to get turned off by cruddy surroundings.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 20
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Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 7:12:56 AM
I clean, top to bottom, every weekend. Friday is probably my "dirtiest" day. During the week, after work, I may give the bathroom a once over lightly, or run the vacuum. Dishes are done, in the morning before work, and again in the evening. Is my apartment spotless - nope! Is there "stuff" around - sure is! I wouldn't say cluttered, but lived in...I don't necessarily clean any more than I normally do, if I'm expecting a visitor.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 21
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Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 7:31:01 AM
We have 4 kids at home and one pack rat. When guests are coming you can hear me shrieking "Time to de-louse the house" It is amazing what 6 people can accomplish in an hour and how much can be hidden in a closet.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 22
Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 7:52:24 AM
Well, let me say that first impressions are the ones that are going to stick. And while I'm not a cleaning nazi, I can't tolerate clutter. If I were invited to someone's home and it was dusty, reeked of cigs and there was dog slobber on the toilet (ewww) I probably would be grossed out and feel like they didn't care enough to make the house presentable for company. And it may make me wonder about their personal hygiene.

Oh, as an ex-smoker myself, you can smoke outside for a month before you have company, and it's still going to reek of cigs ... just sayin'
 meowsaidthetigress
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 23
Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 8:08:42 AM
Two dogs, two cats, two smokers, too many friends, and a remarkably clean house where the bedroom/bathroom doors stay closed. Its a privilege when the pets enter.
Everyone smokes outside that chooses to do so. I personally couldnt date a man that had a dirty, unorganized, or smelly house. I prefer non-smokers too.

So yes as a courtesy when I know Im having company I mad clean the entire house.
 nowordscandescribeme
Joined: 7/29/2011
Msg: 24
Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 8:42:09 AM
Very good post Op,


I myself have a small 1 bedroom apartment, and I go in phases where Stuff does get piled up,(usually when working 8 days straight) but than I'll get in my ocd mode,and wont stop cleaning for a couple hours, and I'll start in the kitchen not finish and start somewhere else, (Think it's due to my undiagnosed ADD) I am all over the place, but end up cleaning everything. This is my normal routine, I never go a long time living in a mess or it will drive me crazy. I also notice I'm able to relax alot more when I'm in a clean environment. I think this is caused by growing up with 2 sisters and just my mother, who are friggen immaculate freaks, funny thing is back when I was a kid they all thought I was such a slob, but was because even when I tried to helpout it was never good enough or done right, but since I've lived on my own there ways have unfluenced me, and I'm always the one whether it be my home , or at work, who's making sure everything is done.


Sorry for going off there for a minute, again must be that (undiagnosed ADD)




As far as having company goes , I think you're better off keeping up on your place because you never know who might pop in, but I usually go the extra mile to make sure my place is super clean, I guess ifyou really are a messy disorganized person just resort to picking it up a little, at least I wouldnt Kill yourself over worrying about what someones going to think.

There is a difference between having a little mess, and your place not being totally immaculate, to looking like a complete mess, and smelling.

I dont think you will ever lose points for your place being to clean

As far as the smoking goes, Those spray cleaners work wonders, along with incents, or febreeze, depending who the guest is, if its a child or someone with azthma I wouldnt smoke the day they are coming or the day prior, and if they smoke themselves Problem solved, no worries.

Really a matter of respect some people dont even think about courtesy or respect.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 25
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Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 9:04:28 AM
I cleaned my house it is not just COURTESY FOR PEOPLE WHO VISIT ME, it is for me that I am better than a pig who live in a pig pen...

I don't think I would date a man or befriend a woman or I want a nieghbors who are slobs...Because how they make their surroundings reflect their low life characters.. And I can imagine how their underwear is and how clean is their private parts ????????????????????????????????

I work 2 jobs ,but I see to it that my place is cleaned,when I cook and eat ,I washed the dishes and pots at once,when I used the bathroom I wiped the sink dry ect. ect. In other words, I cleaned after myself.
My guest smoke outside my house and they remove their shoes when the enter my house............

This is me and I don't inpose my morals...
PS I don't have a dish washer and clothes drier I hang my laundry out in my backyard.
I clean my house not for the visitor but for myself............................
Vannili
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 26
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Stupid question...Do you clean up? Do you smoke outside?
Posted: 8/9/2011 9:17:21 AM
I had company in from out of town just over a week ago... in honour of them coming over, I chilled extra coolers, prepared a meal I normally would have passed on if it were me alone, used my swiffer floor vac and did some minor dusting...

Oh, and I had them help me put the freshly laundered sheets on their bed...

My guests come over to see me, not my home. I'll leave the pile of books in the basket in the corner because this is me...
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