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 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 1
single women who date married menPage 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Just curious what the mindset is of single women that have no problem dating married men. Is it the challenge? Wanting something you probably can't have? And yes, before you go off on me, i know it also happens with single guys with married women!! LOL..
I'm talking about beautiful intelligent women here..i just don't get it. If you have done this before...how did it start? How did it end? Please enlighten me.
 MsMuscleChick
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 2
single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 1:53:10 AM
I have an acquaintance who does this. She said for her it is just for the sex and money he spends on her, then he has to go home. Basically, it requires no real commitment.

Personally I find it disturbing but there are men and women who both do it. I have asked her how she feels knowing he has a wife, and she said it is not " her problem". They have un protected sex, and she does with MANY other men as well. She started the fling because they work together. So he was there and easy to get to.

My overall thought on it is, people do it for the reason of not having to commit OR these women think that these men will leave their wives for them at some point. I have had married men hit on me and it is NOT attractive. Then again I am not one who likes to be in the center of weird drama. I see all the lies and manipulating people have to go through . And for what, some**** ? No thanks.
 PrunellaJones
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 3
single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 2:54:37 AM
..... She said for her it is just for the sex and money he spends on her, then he has to go home. Basically, it requires no real commitment.

My overall thought on it is, people do it for the reason of not having to commit OR these women think that these men will leave their wives for them at some point. I have had married men hit on me and it is NOT attractive. ....
I can't answer the OP's question directly because dating a married man is not something I'd do. When a married man has shown an interest in me, I am disgusted and annoyed: it is not flattering at all, and I find him repulsive for doing it.

From what I've heard and read, I agree with msmusclechick: I think these women either do it because they want a non commitment thing or because they are 'in luv' and expect the guy to leave his wife. Either way, I can't imagine anyone who has ever been cheated on being involved with someone who is in a committed relationship--surely they must consider and realize how much this will hurt the third party?
 _roxy_
Joined: 3/29/2011
Msg: 4
single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 3:00:39 AM
I have no idea why some ladies would disrespect others like that. Maybe they are just thinking with whats between their legs. I refuse to believe any excuse that includes 'you can't help who you fall in love with'.
I would never knowingly get involved with a married guy, the very idea!!
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 5
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single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 3:25:43 AM
Ive stopped spending time with friends who are married and have affairs. I dont support it and dont want to be around it...so I cut them away from my life. I also cut away any single friends who sleep with married people. I think the single one is as guilty as the married one and neither has a place in my life.

I prefer the company of people who dont make every life choice with thier genitals...you know, higher thinkers. The genital thinkers always invite drama and Im getting too old for all that. Life can be simple if you make it so.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 6
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single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 3:51:14 AM

Ive stopped spending time with friends who are married and have affairs. I dont support it and dont want to be around it...so I cut them away from my life. I also cut away any single friends who sleep with married people. I think the single one is as guilty as the married one and neither has a place in my life.


Kudos to you.
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 7
single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 4:40:37 AM
there is no challenge to dating a married man. that's why they do it. everything is reduced to the dumbest common denominator of trading a fun night out for a really good snarling. what's difficult about that? there is no relationship that needs to be managed; there is only some superficial social interaction that always ends in sex, and the last thing you need to worry about is being honest. also, there is the perception that it's a relatively safe kind of betrayal because who is gonna talk to about it? there is a built-in need for discretion.

on the other hand, you have the idiots who "fall in love" with a married guy and actually believe they can love him right into leaving his wife. classic emotionally retarded behavior.
 Slepyally
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 8
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single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 4:42:59 AM
I had a room-mate once who had a steady relationship girlfriend but whenever she was out of town had this string of married women who filled the gap. He said he preferred married cos they both had something to hide and no one would be telling on the other.
 yorkslass
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 9
single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 5:08:37 AM
i dont knw why some people do that, i wdnt cos its just wasting yr time
 jill1199
Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 10
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single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 5:32:44 AM
Being the wife and third party to this. I can tell you that it is nothing but heartache for me. I never thought it would happen to me but it did. i can't be mad at the woman alone. It took them both. It is disturbing and repulsive to me as well. Makes me sick to even think about it. I could never be that kind of person that would knowingly sleep with a married man. I guess some of us have no morals, values or conscience. Its just heart breaking for some of us.
 junipermoon
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 11
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single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 5:50:36 AM
the drama and attention these situations create add a sense of intrigue and excitement to an otherwise unremarkable existence for individuals who participate in these behaviors. it allows them to pretend they can rise above their own mediocrity by proclaiming 'hey, look at me! i've got this married person who finds me more desirable than the person they vowed to love forever. i must be pretty special, huh?'

i find it pathetic and feel sorry for those who lack the cognitive ability to improve their own squalid little lives in a more constructive manner.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 12
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single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 6:22:06 AM
Bedding down a married man is like shooting fish in a barrel. You can't go 5 feet without meeting up with 10 random married jerks looking for a cheap thrill behind wifey's back.

It'd be a cold day in hell before I wasted a second on one of these losers.
 buckeye1332
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 13
single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 6:50:28 AM
I think there is more than one reason for this, I guess it would differ from woman to woman.

1. no committment--just sex and money spent on them
2. the desire to have what someone else has-- he committed to his wife, so maybe he'll leave her and committ to me thought process
3. the challenge--thinking they can get away with it
4. it's all about me mentality-- she wants him and simply does not care if the man is taken or not

But whether or not it is a single woman after a married man or a single man after a married woman, it is wrong. The person they pursue is married, and they need to show some respect and dignity and find someone who is not attatched.

And, it takes 2 to tango. The married person is making the choice to cheat, so they are no better than the single (or attatched) person who pursues them.

It's no wonder so many people have committment issues and trust issues as a result of being cheated and mistreated.

Me personally, I want what some of my family has.....
my parents have been married for over 25.5 years
my aunt (mom's sister) & uncle have been married almost 58 years,
my uncle (mom's brother) who passed away about 8.5 years ago was married to his wife for almost 50 years
My other uncle (dad's brother) and his wife have been together going on 30 years

I dunno, I guess having the old school mentality of falling in love, getting married, and staying together "till death do us part" is outdated and nearly extinct.
 Flipgirl24
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 14
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single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 6:53:37 AM
I don't know any women or men who have dated married people but I do know someone whose husband cheated on her. I would never want to be that person who was responsible for causing that much pain, whether I was the spouse or the other woman. Plus, if I were the other woman, how good must I feel about muself if I'm willing to be.with a man who cheats and lies? If he can lie to his wife and kids if he has any, he can lie to me. And it's not like I would deserve the truth. So I cannot say I understand thi phenomenon. E
 Smiley_mcgee
Joined: 7/30/2011
Msg: 15
single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 7:17:51 AM

Please enlighten me.

People want the highest perceived feelings of validation and gratification possible with the lowest level of risk and effort, and it's a constant balancing and rebalancing act via rationalizing. Because they are all their own variables.
It's why some people fvck sheep and monkeys.
It's why people shop for sales.
It's why people rationalize paying for something that is expensive to them has value in it, just because it's expensive (i.e. the jewelry shop in Prescott that "accidentally" doubled its prices it meant to put on sale and their sales increased drastically).
It's why people do things that have stupid amounts of risk involved, greater the risk then they MUST be getting a great reward (until it becomes hindsight i.e. skydiving and tattoos).
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 16
single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 7:19:39 AM
I think its all of the above OP, to them baiting him is the most exciting part. They are attracted to people they know they can’t have and think it’s an exciting adventure to pass the time away.

Some of those Women are not into commitment so they try to hook a man who isn’t free to commit…because he’s conveniently married. Like the type of woman who likes a challenge, women are not interested in settling down.

Women are unable to find a suitable mate, so they steal someone Else mates, These are the “not so lucky in love” types who end up with men who are already taken because they have problems attracting an unattached member of the opposite sex.

Ive known women that does that and single guys and I tend to avoid them, its not the type of person I want to associate with personally.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 17
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single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 7:20:43 AM
I've never understood it myself, I stopped talking to a few people that did this, they are just not the type I'd want as a friend.
 Pinayto
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 18
single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 7:28:53 AM
That's easy, they're sluts, gold diggers, hos, strippers, immoral, homewrecker, etc. Okay, that's MY perception of them. We have a super famous and obviously rich singer/actress in my country that seems a married/already had gf guy magnet. She was heavily criticized for that. I for one don't categorize her on those I mentioned above since she clearly is an independent woman who don't need a sugar daddy, I think it's even the other way around. lolz... So she's clearly an idiot. Long story short she's now happily married to one of the married actor/singer she conquered. What's more WTF worthy is the wife of the guy has no bad thing to say about her and the guy and has 'blessings' in their relationship. Yeah they're weird.

I also don't hate Angelina Jolie for stealing Brad Pitt, maybe coz I don't like Jen Aniston and I found it's verrrrrrrry unfair that she is the only one being hated. What about Brad? He's guilty too, ya know? Idiot one sided angerers.

Having digress on the OP's question, I make sure the guy is legally, officially divorced or is single before I agree to have a relationship.
 misshoney1988
Joined: 7/22/2011
Msg: 19
single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 7:30:20 AM
I have friends who engage in affairs with married men. They have indicated that their reasons are due to past painful relationships with single men and the fear of commitment because of the hurt they have suffered.

Just because a woman choses to be involved with married men it doesn't mean she is a ho, slut, or a golddigger like some ASSUME ON HERE! My friends are decent, respectible woman with jobs and who are self sufficient. People who assume that a woman is a golddigging ho because she becomes involved with a married guy needs a serious reality check and needs to self evaluate. Look in the mirror before you go making false assumptions about others oh and change your negative attitude.

If a wife paid more attention to her husband and marriage and was less selfish he wouldn't stray.
 PrunellaJones
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 20
single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 7:52:07 AM

.....My friends are decent, respectible woman....If a wife paid more attention to her husband and marriage and was less selfish he wouldn't stray.


Saying that women who have affairs with married men are decent and respectable pretty much negates the concept of what a decent and respectable woman is. If they are decent and respectable, then what do we call women who have the charcter to not have affairs with married men?

Men have affairs for many reasons. Each man and marriage is unique. There is absolutely no reason to assume that a man is having an affair because his wife neglects him. Even if someone, anyone, is unhappy or unfilled in their marriage, they need to get divorced before they get involved with someone else. That's the decent thing to do.
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 21
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single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 8:08:04 AM

I have friends who engage in affairs with married men. They have indicated that their reasons are due to past painful relationships with single men and the fear of commitment because of the hurt they have suffered.

Just because a woman choses to be involved with married men it doesn't mean she is a ho, slut, or a golddigger like some ASSUME ON HERE! My friends are decent, respectible woman with jobs and who are self sufficient. People who assume that a woman is a golddigging ho because she becomes involved with a married guy needs a serious reality check and needs to self evaluate. Look in the mirror before you go making false assumptions about others oh and change your negative attitude.

If a wife paid more attention to her husband and marriage and was less selfish he wouldn't stray.


Rationalize it anyway you want,justify it anyway you want and it's still wrong.

You are just as bad as the person doing the messing around because you condone the actions.. and your argument If a wife paid more attention to her husband and marriage and was less selfish he wouldn't stray holds no water.. the wife may be a fantastic person and the husband just wants to double his amount of honey. a cheater is a cheater,a liar and a thief.

Your friends may be self sufficient (whoopty wowee) but they have no morals and integrity.. neither do you for condoning the action nor do they guys who are involved. Get off your high horse.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 22
single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 8:13:42 AM

I have friends who engage in affairs with married men. They have indicated that their reasons are due to past painful relationships with single men and the fear of commitment because of the hurt they have suffered.
no your friends has self esteem and boundary issues.


Just because a woman choses to be involved with married men it doesn't mean she is a ho, slut, or a golddigger like some ASSUME ON HERE! My friends are decent, respectible woman with jobs and who are self sufficient. People who assume that a woman is a golddigging ho because she becomes involved with a married guy needs a serious reality check and needs to self evaluate. Look in the mirror before you go making false assumptions about others oh and change your negative attitude.
sorry young grasshopper, that's like putting Ice cream on Dog shit, the first bite may be sweet but the rest of it is pure shit, A decent person that has high self esteem will not be entertaining a relationship with a married person.


If a wife paid more attention to her husband and marriage and was less selfish he wouldn't stray.
tell me you're not that naive young one? Men cheat for various reason, I know of one VP of Commercial real estate that I used to play hockey with and he cheated on his wife and their sex life was supposedly good, some guys just are like that, they are addicted to the chase no matter what they have at home.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 23
single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 8:19:05 AM
Its all b.s there misshoney, we all have been in painful relationships and suffered hurt. So what? How do you think the wife and kids feel about their husband/father boinkin one of your friends? I take marriage vows seriously.You call your friends decent and respectful?/ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Also, why do you assume its the wife's fault? Maybe he gets off on the thrill of the hunt. As others have suggested, cheating is cheating and your friends are due for a round of karma. I blame both parties, however, if your slutty friends had morals, they wouldnt be doing what their doing.
Wait till you're married or one of your friend are and some slut steals your man away for an 'affair'...then you might think differently.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 24
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single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 8:33:06 AM

It'd be a cold day in hell before I wasted a second on one of these losers.


Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be a shortage of those who will..waste a second on them. Pity.
 totalazzhole
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 25
single women who date married men
Posted: 8/13/2011 8:40:25 AM
"date' is a bit of a euphemism here, isn't it?

I REALLY doubt that many of these people often "go out" for dinner, movies, theater, sporting events, etc. , much

wifey or one of wifey's friends, OR a friend of the guy (who might have thought previously he was a DECENT guy) might see them...

don't you REALLY mean: "single women who f*ck/boink/have sex with married men" ?

(take your pick of more descriptive/accurate terms)
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