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 92Gguy
Joined: 3/14/2010
Msg: 1
Dating guys in the military...Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I just wanted to see what the ladies on this site think about this topic. I am in the army and am currently deployed. I am going to re-enlist for 5 more years and see what happens. So far, I've gotten the cold shoulder on this site, but I'm guessing it's more because I'm deployed, or gals think that military guys are jerks, or for whatever reasons. Ladies, what is your take on this subject?
 PAHighlandlass
Joined: 4/6/2011
Msg: 2
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/1/2011 2:34:26 PM
I served in the Army myself....

I have no problems dating guys in the military. Have in the past and would do so in the future.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 3
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History
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/1/2011 2:40:06 PM
Actually, being in the military is one of my dealbreakers. Has been all throughout my dating life.
 faith_____
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 4
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/1/2011 2:42:16 PM
" military guys are jerks " there a stigma for a reason.

I have been there dated military guys I have yet to see a good one. Personally I stay away I've been there done that. What you do for the country is respectable and honorable. HOWEVER, from what I've seen military men are dishonorable men when it comes to treating women, their flat out pigs. They hop from one girl and go through them like paper!! my gawd! to say the least they did more than break my heart. NOT SAYING YOU from what I've seen and my personal experiences. Moving around wasn't even the problem! that was the least of it.

Military men + dating ( for serious relationship or any sort of exclusive relationship) = bad rep.

Again I like the army and what they do for the country don't see this as a hate post. Just with the women side of things and their 'dating' really needs to be fixed like bad.
 92Gguy
Joined: 3/14/2010
Msg: 5
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/1/2011 2:46:19 PM
Why is that? Just curious.
 92Gguy
Joined: 3/14/2010
Msg: 6
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/1/2011 2:54:52 PM
Hi. Thanks for responding. Well, I can agree with most of what you have said because I've done 7 years in service(4 in the navy, 3 in the army), and I've seen some messed up stuff in my outings. Thanks for the support , but this particular excerpt caught my eye :

HOWEVER, from what I've seen military men are dishonorable men when it comes to treating women, their flat out pigs. They hop from one girl and go through them like paper!!

The sad thing is that it's true for the most part, but there are a lot of guys like me that are not jerks or treat women like trash. I've noticed a lot of what you say though, and it just screws it up for the good guys in the uniformed services. Anyway, thanks again for your input.
 faith_____
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 7
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/1/2011 2:58:48 PM
you mean me, and the stigma of them being jerks? I don't know how old you are but Im in my 20s and the boys who are in their 20s and in the army... I guess are like any guy their age, but just are a little special in my case. I mean this is only my experience and what I've heard and seen. Guys go into the army to get laid that's it. I know this isn't 100% but the douchebags do. they come off as the 'good guy' but really are a sleaze yes you can say bad choice of men on my part but there is many of them and they happen to be in the army. It just what I've seen and they army men who said they 'liked me' really they looking to get laid, then go to next vulnerable girl who gives them the world or they lie to get in their pants and goes to the next one! it ridiculous.

It not really a deal breaker for me army guys. but I am very very very careful. I personally find out someone in the army I keep looking. I will date them, like casual but I am really looking at their character cause I'm only 20 and the military men have left one big mark and me wanting to back away. there a stigma i guess the girls just bump into the bad ones - ain't that the old tale. Keep looking you have a good thing going even all I've been though. I hear a guy in the army I give them respect off the bat, and the younger guys know that and take advantage of it for all the wrong reason.

personal experience again. I never got a good respectable one.

I think if you're older it shouldn't be much of a problem? you get all the random sex out of your system. I hear about guys actually wanting something serious after their 20s haha. I dunno I hear I younger guys go into the army looking for themseleves and want the feeling they belong somewhere so when it comes to relationships they dont even know what they want they want sex though so they don't stay long with a relationship its only years later . there like wow.. I want just one women. and you got like 15 other girls being like THAT WHAT I WANTED TO GIVE TO YOU.

at least I can kinda laugh about it now.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 8
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Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/1/2011 3:21:25 PM
92Guy, you asking me?

Faith pretty much nailed it.

Interestingly my first boyfriend in high school was a totally sweet funny geeky type guy and very early on in that relationship I had pointed out I would never date anybody who was in the military.

Well I will spare the complicated details of how it happened but some time down the road he ended up doing it anyway under the persuasion of someone else.

I could not believe the transformation. In September after not seeing him the entire summer he no longer had his longish hair which I loved and he became so cruel and cold and fought with me all the time. So I took him aside and told him we had to break up before we kill each other. He was still as cruel as ever if not moreso after that for 2 more years.

I also have a cousin whose husband was in the marines and he was a pushy, arrogant twat and the family was fairly sure he was violent with her at times.

I don't like guns, war, uniforms, military bases with the military wives and their breeding and cheating while their man is away for several months (yes I do realize this isn't universal but there is enough of it from what I have witnessed) and the fact that I would be separated for several months with minimal to no contact is not my cup of tea. At all. If I wanted to be sad, worried all the time, lonely and sex-starved I'd have stuck with my work-and-alcoholic ex husband.


TL:DR:
I am a soft artist type who loves her geeks.
 92Gguy
Joined: 3/14/2010
Msg: 9
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/1/2011 3:23:33 PM
To faith_____:

I totally understand where you are coming from. I barely turned 30 here in afghanistan, so I'm old I guess. lol I have seen mostly the guy's that are in their early 20's being douchebags whenever I've gone out on the town in Nashville(I'm stationed in Ft. Campbell, KY). The younger guys of course, want to get laid, and I've seen them pick up on 30 and 40 year olds in their quest for tail. That said, it still gives the decent army guys a bad rap. I can't even meet new friends because some gals just have had bad experiences with some hyper, sex-hungry punks in uniform, while I'm busting my ass trying to be a gentleman. Anyway, what is the longest you've been with an army guy?
 92Gguy
Joined: 3/14/2010
Msg: 10
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/1/2011 3:36:01 PM
Out_of_the_Ash :

I was asking you the question about why you didn't date guys in the military. I understand why now. I have checked out you profile and noticed that you from Vancouver, a city that I enjoyed going to every weekend when I did time at the naval base in Bremerton, Washington. I am in the military because it's in my blood. All my relatives from my dad's side, and some from my mom's are or have been in the military. I'm not in it because I get to shoot guns, or blow stuff up, or kill people. I'm in the process of re-classing to be a medic, so I would like to save lives and do the right thing. This is my reason why I'm in in. Others have different reasons, and there are times when it will make or break you. I have felt like i've changed, but for the better than for the worse. Even then, even making new aquaitances is hard because of it sometimes, but I'm in it for the long run.
 faith_____
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 11
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/1/2011 4:00:57 PM
i'll put it this way I wanted an exclusive relationship like bf gf which was just us. He put me on the back burner. I confront him. He asked about sex I said not until there was something established first. Left me the next day got another girl 2 months with her. Got another Girl Dropped her and then I lost track. They never lasted long and it was them who didn't want lasting relationship. The guy I am referring to he went through a different girl a year and that not including the ones he didn't pick like me during the year.

They want to have fun. Its a bad rep. keep trying. My only advice is if you like someone give them the world and bust your ass cause trust me no military man will bust there ass for a women. They make the women do that. and if I only heard from then they only wanted me and their actions met their words. I wouldn't have such a bad feeling in my stomach when it comes to army guys.
 Jake190
Joined: 6/16/2011
Msg: 12
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/1/2011 4:27:21 PM
Being in the military is like almost being a Priest lol, i would reccomend to take down all of your military pics. Quiet professionalism, you should try it lol. I love the military stigmas though, they have one bad expierience with a military man and then they label all others just like him. So my advice would be keep it down low, let her get to you know for who you are then tell her. If she runs away, her loss.
 92Gguy
Joined: 3/14/2010
Msg: 13
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/1/2011 4:29:54 PM
faith_____ ,

I've busted my ass trying to establish a lasting relationship, but I've gotten the opposite of what you have. I've been walked on by many women, but I don't think that all women are tramps because of the few that've screwed me over. I've given the world to 2 that I was deeply in love with, but got nothing but pain in the end. All i've givin to these chicks is respect and honesty, but i've never gotten it in return. the last relationship I was in was just horrible. I had already proposed to my ex fiancee of 2 years(I've known here for 7), and she was messing around with 3 different guys, younger too (18, 21, and 22 yo). I've had my fair share of gals that just want to get laid or want money. For all that has happened in my life while being in the military, I still would not disrespect a gal because of my past experiences. I still have time to live, love , and do some soldiering. :)
 faith_____
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 14
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/1/2011 4:41:15 PM
That's why I still have respect for men in the army I still have it. I'm just careful. As I said it just my personal experience. That's terrible. really I don't even hang with girls who are like that. I don't even sleep around like at all. I dated a millionaire lol I didn't even want his money! lol. I just didn't like him that way and told him up front. Didn't even sleep with him. I think it's the typical girls like the bad boys and don't go for the goods ones like you. And I guess guys go for easy girls who put out right away? I'm just guessin not a dude.

I'm just careful. I don't judge all guys like that. I didn't mention the one army man I dated. He was the most respectful one of them all I went to school with him - it's just sometimes the magic isn't there for the other person. He had semi douchebag qualities but normal to your typical arrogant dude :P he just wasn't a good one that worked out.

It's just a mark has been left from previous experiences that keeps me aware. I don't rule an army guy out. But I'm careful its the best way I can put it. But there a stigma and people know. I wouldn't go as far to keep it on a low profile I think you should be proud your in the army. I have huge respect for army guys yes I question your morals and ethics. But if one showed me the same level of respect I gave them and it worked out - I'd be happy.
 92Gguy
Joined: 3/14/2010
Msg: 15
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/1/2011 4:59:31 PM
faith_____,

Come down to Tennessee and I'll treat you like a princess. j/k I'm careful with women too. Sometimes it's hard trusting chicks, and many times it's been a good thing. It helps me avoid more unnecessary suffering. Now, about typical girls liking badboys, I've seen and experienced that many times. It sucks, but it is what it is. It's rather sad to see gals go with a jerk, get treated like dirt, and then moan and whine that they want a good guy, just to leave the good guy for a douche because they couldn't handle it. BTW, was the army guy from the states?
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 16
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Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/1/2011 5:18:28 PM

That said, it still gives the decent army guys a bad rap. I can't even meet new friends because some gals just have had bad experiences with some hyper, sex-hungry punks in uniform, while I'm busting my ass trying to be a gentleman


Pssssst,,,,here's a secret for ya to ponder. When you "join" a group of people(whatever group it is) YOU will be judged by THEIR behaviour. (you must already know this representing the country you are). It's part of the deal of being part of that group. Don't want to be judged as part of that group,get out, or try to changed the perception of such group(good luck with that one).

Do they give out little patches for your uniform if you are a "good guy"????? If not, that could help the ladies figure out which is which.
 mrmisterme
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 17
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Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/1/2011 5:50:28 PM

Do they give out little patches for your uniform if you are a "good guy"?????


We call them medals.
 cgm745
Joined: 7/29/2011
Msg: 18
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/1/2011 6:58:01 PM
I think it varies on the girl, but one thing is that many women on are looking for guys who are close in location, so you being out of the country would put you off many girls lists. I have no past romantic history with guys in the military, but know several military men who are great men even to the women they are in relationships with. So no bias here except the distance. Good luck to you on the site and while serving!
 cgm745
Joined: 7/29/2011
Msg: 19
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/1/2011 6:59:57 PM
Oh also the huge gun in your profile pic may not be the message you want a girl to see on the outset. it doesn't really make me think wow this guy is probably really nice...
 Jake190
Joined: 6/16/2011
Msg: 20
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/1/2011 7:00:45 PM
"we Call them Medals"

couldnt agree more lol.
 saharapink
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 21
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Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/1/2011 8:55:47 PM
I love military men. I love what you do for our country. My dad and Grandpa were Navy. I would prefer to date a retired vet. vs one that is assigned overseas because of the distance factor.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 22
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/2/2011 5:15:19 AM
The thing about military men is that most times it defines who they are as a person, rather than just being a job.

All of your profile pictures kind of support my statement...

If you want to be seen as an individual, you have to portray yourself as such.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 23
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Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/2/2011 6:53:22 AM
I think guys in the military are brave, admirable and very very yummy.
Deployment is not for wimps either for the soldier or the person he leaves stateside.


Soldier tidy up that bunk, maggot!!!! Get a better picture, my Dad was in the Navy and his room, clothing, drawers etc are always pristine. I would expect that from a man in the military too. Your picture reeks of college boy dorm room, not good.
 BigSpoon80
Joined: 7/1/2011
Msg: 24
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/2/2011 7:37:20 AM
Really you can sit here and blame service members all you want but where is all the frat boy bashing or townie bashing? Young guys are walking hard-ons and yet you are surprised you get laid then dumped. Just because you lived by a military base and were only exposed to the military guys doesn't mean that every other 20 something would be much different.

When I was in the service I could have started a post about the dorm whores and the small town girls hooking up with any uniform that walks by looking for a way out. All the married women I seen come through the gate to get a piece and the list can go on and on.

No one joins the service to get laid. That is the most rediculous thing I've heard. Yeah let me get shitty pay, get shot at, lose half my really good friends to snipers and IEDs but hey its worth it cause I just want to screw. Give me a break!
 meowsaidthetigress
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 25
Dating guys in the military...
Posted: 9/2/2011 8:34:03 AM
Todays military man is only a shadow of yesterdays veterans. Older soldiers will agree that the military has drastically changed along with technology.

I dont date soldiers even though the late Father of my children was a Viet Nam veteran.
Im surrounded by bases within a two hour radius and from what I have seen its not a life I want for myself. I personally know of very few relationships that have survived repeated deployments, training missions, being in the field, and the fact that the military comes first. Never mind the alcoholism, anger management issues, PTSD, or a plethora of issues that never get addressed because heaven forbid anyone goes to counseling. Check any of the divorce/DUI/domestic violence stats among military personnel.
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