| | My PorchPage 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | We often hear in history how much the front porch has played in relationships to neighbors, couples dating and all around Americana. I seem to have one of those front porches. All of my neighbors have very tiny porches and mine spans the humble 22 feet of my house. I have chairs that recline, rocking chairs, infant bouncers on it.. and everyone comes to my house... even when I am out of country.. I know this because I came home and all of my neighbors were on my porch .
My neighbor said to me tonight ... I came over.. "you were not on your porch last night? " (I took that as an accuasation) As the conversation went on... she said she didn't have anyone to talk to. I guess what I am thinking about and asking is.. The front porch or the hang out spot... how important is it for us to have a place we can let our hair down?
iffy | |
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Posted: 9/3/2011 5:26:52 PM | | When Disney built that town in Florida, they put all the houses right up to the street with big wide porches. It makes for a friendlier community. A lot of civic planning and developers ignored centuries of human social evolution when they started developing suburbs. | |
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Posted: 9/3/2011 5:37:42 PM | I can relate only when I think of my mother's native town in Africa. Everyone knows how everyone else is doing, and they share stories, recipes, news, and solve problems right on their front porches.
It was like the neighborhood's shrink's couch. I remember when I was a kid visiting how many problems were solved and the wonderful sense of community it provided. None of that here in the UK though. Not to my knowledge. | |
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Posted: 9/3/2011 6:19:34 PM |
"you were not on your porch last night? "
I'm afraid that Facebook has made the porch obsolete. | |
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Posted: 9/3/2011 6:27:28 PM | ~OP~ I admire those like you that don't mind neighbors and such hanging around a lot. For me? My home is off limits to anyone unless there is a phone call and an agreed upon time for someone to come by. I have a wonderful back deck and the yard is very park-like in appearance and that, is my "place" to let my hair down. Unfortunately ~ it's not open to the general public (nor family and/or friends unless pre-arranged.) My home is my solace. I've not ever been one to like drop by's. And if I knew it was happening when I wasn't home? I'd be royally irked. My "place" to let my hair down is a local spot where I have a gal-pal that works days. When I need to talk, vent, just sit with someone in silence, I go see her. Otherwise? I guess I classify as a seasoned recluse. That won't be changing any time soon (or later!) Nice that your neighbors have you and that you are open to being there for them.  | |
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Posted: 9/3/2011 6:45:09 PM | If I come back home and there is a bunch of people
there
it's probably a crime scene
I live in LA
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Posted: 9/3/2011 6:47:42 PM | When it comes down to my spot, my balcony is the place to hang out at. Friends, family, we all hangout in that one spot. Good enough for us, and we prefer to drink on the balcony. | |
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Posted: 9/3/2011 6:56:33 PM | The front porch or the hang out spot... how important is it for us to have a place we can let our hair down?
Right on ,approx 3 generations ago the averege neighborhood was friendlier to , missing those days eh,sigh | |
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Posted: 9/3/2011 8:41:36 PM | | I don't see anything wrong with people mingling on your front porch but I do see a problem with people doing it when you aren't even at home. These people should know their limits, obviously they don't. Are you comfortable with people hanging on your porch when you are away from home? I know I would. | |
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Posted: 9/3/2011 9:37:02 PM | | I have searched this out in every place I lived. I grew up in a little development outside a small town, on a lake. Knew all the people in the neighborhood and many still live there till this day. Never really got that living in an apartment, of knowing your neighbors. Did when I bought a house in what was a small town well 7k people small but is now 50k. Never really got to know neighbors after a while because everyone kept moving. Moved during the divorce to a house where exactly everything I wanted was. Get along great with my neighbors. Still up in the air of what is going to happen. But yeah every Saturday night hanging out at my neighbors porch talking about life. I love it... Small little town of 900.. | |
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Posted: 9/3/2011 10:46:20 PM |
I'm afraid that Facebook has made the porch obsolete.
I would hope that the ebb and flow of things would only give that appearance, and we get back to sitting and talking. | |
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Posted: 9/3/2011 10:50:57 PM |
I'm afraid that Facebook has made the porch obsolete.
Not to those that know how to use technology to compliment life, and not just replace it. There is no replacement for real life contact.. Never will be... | |
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Posted: 9/3/2011 10:58:57 PM | | Growing up in Chicago where every city block was like a little town unto itself my grandparents had a porch like that. All the houses on the street had a front porch. In the evening and this was before everyone had central air all the neighbors where out on their porch. Today the deck has replaced that. | |
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Posted: 9/3/2011 11:57:04 PM | When I moved here I was very much a recluse. Never in my mind did I think that I would be the "go to " person. It seems all of the secrets land on my porch and that my life is privy to all, I love that all come here but at the same time I think about how annonomose *sp* my life could be. Basically all of my neighbors comment if I have a "strange truck/car"in my drive. They want to know who it is? Privacy is a tenuous factor.
Iffy | |
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_roxy_
| | Joined: 3/29/2011
Msg: 15 | |
| My Porch
Posted: 9/4/2011 1:14:26 AM | I don't have a porch but my neighbours will drop by frequently, they don't 'hang out' there if I'm not home but they used to pop inside and leave eggs/jam/honey/spuds etc if I wasn't home. I never used to lock any doors and they knew this. I only started locking them after a spate of 'strangers' hanging around. Living in a small village, everyone knows you and your business and everyone knows a stranger. Most of the families/their children's families have grown up here. I like it this way. I like that all the old 'uns look out for me too, its very sweet.
I appreciate places like where I live now are becoming a rarity as everyone is on the move...looking for better job prospects/better locations etc. I'm fortunate that I'm able to drive the distance to work. When I lived in the city for 4yrs I think I spoke to my closest neighbour only 4 times. I lived within spitting distance of a hundred people and never knew any of them. Now my nearest neighbour is a 15 minute walk away and yet I see them and talk almost everyday.
I grew up in a small kind of closed off community so its no surprise to me that I've gravitated towards where I live now and prefer it.
My back yard is the drinking spot/hang out place. | |
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Posted: 9/4/2011 1:17:48 AM | | It's pretty sad that today's modern society has lost some of the charm and warmth of the mid-20th century. I grew up in the country, but neighbor's near and far were always welcome at my grandparent's home. Lemonade for the kids and an "adult" beverage for the grown ups on those breezy, steamy afternoons and evenings. I suppose the reason for the change is that most people are so stressed or overwhelmed by the fast pace of today's life style that they need some alone time. If you want to make your front porch the local hang out spot, you go for it. I always find that good conversation, laughs, and a nice atmosphere does a person a world of good. | |
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Posted: 9/4/2011 5:26:41 AM | if we all had front porches & sat on them, we wouldn't be on POF-we'd be dating a neighbor OR one of our neighbors would have introduced us to a person | |
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Posted: 9/4/2011 5:32:28 AM | My previous home was the hang out for the neighborhood...until I was robbed. I sold the place within that year as I never did feel safe again, even after having security installed.
Now I dont like people coming by unannounced as I may attack them and that would not be very hospitable...lol (Im not a good candidate to sneak up from behind and 'scare' anymore as I swing first now and ask questions after...lol)
Its too bad that crime changes people, but if I still left my doors unlocked after that Id call myself stupid.
I do miss that sense of open-ness that I used to have with the people who lived on my old street...but I dont think Ill ever feel that type of peace ever again. I know there are people who will take advantage of people who used to live like I did and I cannot allow myself to be vulnerable ever again. | |
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Posted: 9/4/2011 7:31:08 AM | In the last few months I have pretty much
kept to myself.
I live in a duplex with me on the bottom and
neighbors on the top.
I have a very sweet young couple living on top
now. Little did I know how they would change
my life.
They took in an older woman who is thier friend
in need of a place to stay. She said to me one evening-
I have some nice wicker furniture packed away, do you
mind if I set it up on the porch?
That furniture has gotten me out of my house
at night, sharing life stories and making a new
friend.
Not in a million years did I think I would find
it comforting and oh so wonderful to sit in the
night air-laughter echoing through the neighborhood.
I'm greatful for that porch. That wicker furniture
has helped me find " me" again and make new
friends. | |
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Posted: 9/4/2011 8:20:01 AM | When I moved into my house 4 years ago I kept the front porch clear of chairs, then again I was very much a recluse during those early days of separation and divorce. I finally put chairs on the front porch. People don't pop in uninvited, well, except my neighbor and we are really good friends. I like it though. Since I live at the end of the street, on a cul-de-sac, I am able to see everything that goes on. I also like to look at the stars, the moon and to hear the wind blow through the tree's. It's interupted infrequently with sirens (that seem to bounce around the hills).
It's important to have that gathering place. Be it for the kids in the neighborhood, who seem to like my house a lot... to my neighbor to catch up on day-to-day life. I never grew up with a front porch, but can remember visiting my grandparents in Montana and how everyone gathered around the stoop and caught up and laughed and joked. | |
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Posted: 9/4/2011 8:54:33 AM |
I'm afraid that Facebook has made the porch obsolete.
Not really ~ Haven't you noticed all of the people that sit on their porches with their laptops and smartphones FB-ing and texting one another while they enjoy a cool beverage together? lol | |
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Posted: 9/4/2011 8:54:49 AM | I grew up with a front porch... use to play on it as a child, sit and watch the traffic go by and all those wonderful things that one associates with sunshine and lemonade.
I don't have one on the house I have now... but it's certainly a plan for the future... I want to retire and have one to sit on while listening to the radio and knitting booties for the great grand kids...  | |
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Posted: 9/4/2011 2:36:17 PM | ^^Will the radio be turned up really loud because you'll be as deaf as a post?
I've got a front porch and a back porch. Both were used a lot when there were lots of little kids around. It was a good spot for the mothers to a/ get away from the kids inside for five minutes or b/ watch the kids playing in the street.
I heard many confessions on my front porch - unhappy marriages, mainly.
Now that all the neighbourhood kids have grown up, no one uses the front porch anymore. And the back porch isn't decorated like it used to be either. No more hanging plants with long, purple blooms. | |
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Posted: 9/4/2011 3:47:10 PM | | Years ago, my ex and I lived on the outskirts of a middle size city. Wild horses roamed the neighborhood and we had a beautiful view of the Sierra mountains. In the summertime after dinner, we would walk down the street and visit our elderly neighbors who sat in the driveway in their lawn chairs . They always had two extra for us to sit and visit. It was such a treat to listen to their stories. Wonderful memories !! The husband has pass on and the wife moved to be near her daughter. Really miss those days. | |
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Posted: 9/4/2011 4:13:46 PM | My backyard is my sanctuary, sit outside under the stars, slight breeze and a cold beer, hmmmm nirvana, lol. Now, if only the old lady next door would stop asking when am I going to get married I'd be in heaven.  | |
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