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 Strange_Design
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 1
Religion and DatingPage 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Under what circumstances should one carry on a relationship? That is the question I currently find myself pending.

Let's assume you meet a great and attractive person and they feel attraction for you too. Then as you get to know them more, they turn out to be a religious nut (let's use Christianity as an example) and take a completely literal interpretation of the Bible.

So here's the question: If the other person (me in this case) is a liberal, open-minded person that shies away from organized religion, is the relationship worth pursuing?
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 2
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 12:35:08 PM
NO.

I would advise you to not purse.

Would you want to be continually bombarded with scripture
Which they have manipulated to get their point across to you?

That would drive me nuts
As there is no logic in that

You cannot have a normal discussion with someone spouting off scripture.
 beenambedie
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 3
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History
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 12:35:53 PM
Sure, just stay away from her on Sunday. LOL
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 4
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Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 12:36:17 PM
No. You are a bad fit. The Christin should be w/another Christian, & you should be w/someone who will be compatable w/you.
 elimanny
Joined: 2/6/2010
Msg: 5
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 12:39:59 PM
Huh.... I wonder about this issue too sometimes. I can only speak personally about this. I feel that as long as that person is willing to accept the fact that you are not religious then it is only fair that you are willing to accept her for who she is. It is highly unlikely that you will meet someone that meets every single thing on a check list. If you like her enough you will accept her "faults" and find a way to work through it. This is coming from an agnostic that does not automatically assume there is a god like most Americans.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 6
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 12:43:17 PM
^^^

I think you mean you are an atheist.

An agnositc is a person who believes that the existence of a greater power, such as a god, cannot be proven or disproved.
Whereby an atheist does not believe in a god or gods.

You gotta get that straight.
You are labeling yourself incorrectly.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 7
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 12:43:43 PM
a great and attractive person and they feel attraction for you too

Go ahead, make our day.. Get involved with her for a year.. Then come back here and relate your experiences and answer your own question..
You are young grasshopper, get out there and experience the variety of types of people/philosophy...
 Strange_Design
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 8
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 12:49:10 PM
Unfortunately for me and many other people in the world, that is not how attraction works. Opposites attract, likely due to how differences in opinion generate personal doubt and communicate confidence (which is one of the greatest sources of attraction).

Other than religion, we seem to be perfectly compatible. This deepens the question.
 Strange_Design
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 9
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 12:50:56 PM
The previous comment is directed at Cougarvamp.
 Macgyver_at_heart
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 10
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Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 12:59:02 PM
No. I can tell you from experience being a non church type myself that getting involved with a religious zealot will lead to many tiresome discussions that neither side can win. Find yourself a good non-believing woman so you have time to banter about more important topics, like football.
 CarpeOmnia
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 11
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Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 1:00:11 PM
Well....if she is a religious nut who takes complete literal interpretation of the Bible...she wouldn't be dating you. That whole "unequally yoked" thing.
She would have to do her darndest to bring you into the Christian fold....then it would be all Kosher.
This is how I interpreted the whole thing when I was a youngun being raised in a Christian evangelical church(which some would consider "nutty")

As it is now....my Mother still pushes me to date Christian men. Says they won't lie or cheat or....blah, blah, blah
I argue back that one doesn't rule out the other as first husband was a "Christian".
Plus, I tell her, according to the Bible a good Christian man shouldn't be dating me....as I am divorced(a few times, to boot!) and thus he would be committing adultry. I would go find it in the New Testiment, but I just woke up from my shift turn-around nap, and I'm tired and the Bible printing is teensy....
 Hurricane_X
Joined: 3/13/2011
Msg: 12
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Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 1:04:06 PM
Whelp, since you're a 22 year old guy then ask yourself these 5 questions...

Do you like watching Football on Sundays?

Are you kind of into having sex often for no apparent reason at all AND "occasionally" outside of the bedroom and sometimes in non-orthodox positions?

Do you like your beer cold? (Like being able to walk to the fridge in the house and get a cold one versus out in the garage?

Do you like going out on the town at night, drinking, dancing, watching sports (boxing/ufc/basketball games) with your lady or the fellas and be able stay out after midnight?

Do you like being required to drive a family mini-van or a Buick? (I've seen a couple of those with rims, tinted windows and a boomin' sound system in my time)

Chose your poison boss...
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 13
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 1:04:23 PM

So here's the question: If the other person (me in this case) is a liberal, open-minded person that shies away from organized religion, is the relationship worth pursuing?


If you are so "open-minded" then what is the trouble with exploring a relationship with a christian?

Funny the ones that claim to be the most open minded are the ones to judge the most.

I am a Christian and I have no problem if another doesn't believe as I do. I don't feel the need to preach to them at all.

I simply live my life according to my beliefs. If you are as open minded as you claim you should welcome this chance to explore a new aspect of life.
 Drestin.Red
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 14
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Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 1:21:04 PM
Nope! I don't care to be around addicts. Whether it be addicted to alcohol, food, drugs or religion, I'm just not interested.
 Dorkvader27
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 15
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 1:34:21 PM
You being liberal has nothing to do with your religious beliefs. I know numerous liberals who believe in Christianity or other religions. I also know plenty of conservatives who do not believe in Christianity. But that's another topic entirely.

To answer your question no you should not continue dating her or even attempt it. You're clearly two different people. You both clearly have different moral beliefs. You probably also have different values as well. I highly doubt those are the only differences either.

I could really pick you apart right here but I'm going to be nice and keep my mouth shut.
 Dorkvader27
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 16
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 1:38:07 PM
Opposites rarely attract and those that do are not polar opposites on religious and political beliefs.

When people speak of opposite attracts they are speaking of entirely different situations in which the opposites compliment each other and they level each other out.

For example a wild child dating a not so wild person. Typically what happens in that situation is that the wild child will make the not so wild one a bit more wild. While the not so wild will calm the wild one down. Meaning they balance each other out.

You're young and think very highly of your self it's very clear from your posts on here and how you talk. You're also trying to make your self seem more complex then you really are. I'd bet money you'll be drinking wine in the near future if you already don't.
 Smilingeyes10
Joined: 5/3/2010
Msg: 17
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 1:46:17 PM
I think you already know the answer to your question OP. You stated you shy away from organized religion, and you have now discovered your g/f is a religious "NUT".

I anticipate problems especially if you are so far apart on this ... I would advise you to find someone who shares or appreciates your believes or lack of them.
 Tim0066
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 18
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 2:00:58 PM
Its going to work in the short run... but long term no.
 dwmitch
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 19
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Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 2:04:33 PM
That whole "opposites attract" thing doesn't work. Well, it does as far as magnetism and in the subatomic world but in relationships it's more like matter and antimatter.

The first woman I dated was a wiccan. Things were great for the first month or two. Then it fell apart. She tried turning me into a witch and I tried turning her into a Baptist. This went on for nearly five miserable years because we were both on a mission.

Sure we had some good times, but walking into her apartment after work to find her trying to cast some kind of "spell" got on my nerves and the fact that I spent Sundays at church and not with her (which we could have spent time together had she been willing to go) bothered her. Combine that with the fact that I believe her witchcraft will send her to Hell and she believes my way of thinking will have me reincarnated as a mollusk or insect and it wasn't a pleasant relationship. To this day I can't see a depiction of Baphomeht without being reminded of the time I wasted.

The second one was an atheist. Again, things went well for a month or so. Then another four years wasted because again, we were both on a mission. She was trying to get me away from church and I was trying to get her into it.

The fact that you're asking this question means it's already something of an issue for you. If it's not an issue for her now odds are it will become one in the future. Eventually she's going to try to save your soul and you're going to try to "free her mind." I've seen it happen many times, in addition to my own experiences, and it has never ended well.
 Strange_Design
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 20
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 2:15:16 PM
This comment is directed at mjyawn67.

I am open minded and accept her for her beliefs. So, in essence I am willing to pursue the relationship. The problem is, she believes she needs to make me a Christian ("accepting Christ as my personal savior") before we can go any further in our relationship, even though we share most of the same moral principles. This is the impasse.
 Strange_Design
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 21
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 2:21:43 PM
Comment directed at Dorkvader....

I prefer beer to wine. It's cheaper and less snooty. Also, we share many of the same moral values and like to do the same kinds of activities. So in essence, it is like the wild man / shy girl paradigm (with me being the one she has to "tame" into Christianity) you described in relation to opposites attracting. I know she is attracted to me, so that is where the conflict comes into play.
 Strange_Design
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 22
Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 2:26:34 PM
Also to clarify, I am liberal-minded. I accept the diversity of beliefs an people in this world even if I hold a differing belief or opinion. Also this means, that I am changing my opinions and world views as I grow older. My mind is not constrained to a single-track outlook of the world. This is a fundamental principle of anthropology.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 23
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Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 2:26:57 PM
In my opinion, no..the relationship as you put it, would not work.

Religion is much like politics, to those who follow the tenets of each.
Any variation from those tenets will result in conflict.

Now, you can discuss this and come to an agreement, but there is always going to be one involved who feels that everyone should follow what they do. If that involves sex/sexual practices, you have a major problem.

Be realistic.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 24
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Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 3:34:35 PM
For starters, if they were that religious, how could you not know it right off? Either they are lying about it or they are hiding it for some reason, I can't imagine a religious nut not being forward about it.

And to end it, I would right off, I have no interest in someone spewing religion.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 25
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Religion and Dating
Posted: 9/11/2011 3:42:08 PM
If religion either too much or too little, is an issue for you then you need to be a little more choosy about who you date.
I am a former Catholic who is dating a Jew, it makes little difference to me. He is far more involved in his religion than I ever was, but since we will not have children together our different religions are a non issue. And I enjoy accompanying him to temple 2-3 times a year. So it's not a problem. But he's not asking me to become a Jew.
There is a huge difference between being liberal minded and accepting others and trying to get your BF to accept Christ as his savior. That is forcing religion down some-one's throat.

She is not attracted to her opposite, you are. She is trying to CHANGE you and make you into someone that blends. Is that what you want?
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