| | Great 1st Date! Or was it?Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | So I went on my first real dinner date with a very nice gentleman last week, and we both talked for hours, so then he drove me home and we gave each other a hug and just a quick little kiss; then he went home writes to me very nice compliments and I write back and thank him again for a wonderful dinner. And thats the last I heard from him!!!!!???? What is the problem?  | |
|
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 8:12:06 AM |
And thats the last I heard from him!!!!!???? What is the problem?
Could be he knows your husband.. Could be you were the 4th dinner "first meet" he had that week..
Could be just the usual suspect outcome of a "first meet" from online that usually goes nowhere... | |
|
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 8:50:37 AM | could be one of several things....
1. you think one nice date automatically means you're going to have another one...
ain't always the case. just because you had a pleasant evening out doesn't mean the other person wants to date you again. i've met people before on first dates, had a fun time too but never wanted a second one.... no big deal. the interest simply isn't there and often it only takes one date to figure that out.... doesn't mean he hates your guts or thinks you're a hag.
2. during your hours of conversation he decided you've got some dealbreakers....
could be anything, really. i noticed you're separated, and separated people are often going through an emotional healing process; perhaps you said some things that he thought were rather telling... i.e. "we are not a good match".
3. you never brought up the possibility of another date and HE assumed YOU weren't very interested....
who knows. why don't you call, write, text and find out?? | |
|
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 8:52:42 AM | | My guess is that after thinking it over he decided he wasn't interested. Or, possibly he has already been dating someone and has decided to stick with them at this point. You must remember that for every person you are talking to, they are talking to several people too. They may have already met several and have a preference in mind for one of them. However, one tidbit of info that we don't have and would help us to consider your question is how long has it been since you heard from him? If only a few days, maybe he is just busy. If over a week, I'd say he isn't coming back around. | |
|
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 8:57:05 AM | Anyone who ventures forth to meet people has likely had similar experiences - I know I have.
Think about it - no matter where you go , you will often meet nice people. Even those you may find attractive . But for one reason or another - you wouldn't want to spend endless time with them, or be in a relationship with them.
Could be one of a million reasons - without any feedback, you can only speculate.
But bottom line is - if someone is very interested in you, and wants to continue - they will let you know in no uncertain terms !
Find one like that ! Keep the faith - there's one for you !
 | |
|
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 10:33:21 AM | we gave each other a hug and just a quick little kiss; then he went home writes to me very nice compliments and I write back and thank him again for a wonderful dinner. And thats the last I heard from him!!!!!???? What is the problem?
The hug and quick little kiss doesn't scream ``second date.'' There had to be some serious kissing going on before I was thinking second date. No telling what the problem might be, the way the date ended indicated there was some problem. | |
|
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 10:39:12 AM | OP, this is a typical outcome of a first meet.
Just chalk it up to a nice evening with a good guy and don't take it personally. | |
|
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 10:47:53 AM | Typical from those that do not have the guts to tell you in person that it is not going to work and this is why!!
To many, to often, do not want to hurt the others feelings, so they wait and then just hope you go away.....as if that does not hurt, or make you wonder why.....
I think at the end of the first meet and greet, the two of you should be honest with each other, and then either set a time for a next meet and greet, and who will contact whom, when, where, and how, or say take a day or two and let me know how you feel after taking some time to reflect on it all.
I have been with those that I told within the first hour or less, no chemistry, not seeing the connection, or I am far from what you are looking for. I have been with others that could be good friends, but nothing more, and those I will let know that we should continue as friends and see where it goes, and those that I would enjoy knowing much better...
Maybe if you take the approach of just having more friends, and not looking for Mr. Right, things will turn out differently......or just expect nothing and enjoy the experience!
cd.......   | |
|
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 10:53:04 AM | He may have honestly enjoyed your date, but decided, maybe later on, that you have some dealbreaker for him. Maybe the fact that you're still married.
Or he got a better offer.
Who knows?
 | |
|
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 10:55:41 AM | As stated in post #3 by motown.... that pretty well covers the possibilities all around.....
possibly also consider changing your hairdo to something age appropriate to attract a different type of guy as an option | |
|
| |
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 11:29:32 AM | I don't think he would have kissed/pecked you if he had no intentions of going on a second date with you.
But like the other people have stated you might have brought up some deal breakers on the first date. Things that might seem perfectly okay to you are deal breakers to others.
He also might be waiting for you to show some interest. if you want to see him again call him and ask when you will see him again or if you're comfortable with it invite him to your place or to do something with you. | |
|
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 12:03:19 PM | You're separated and "your kids are your life" might be a reason.
Or he's not hungry. | |
|
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 12:20:04 PM | | If you really want to know then call him up and ask him out for a date. The way the date went and ended seems pretty neutral to me. The fact that he hasn't contacted you further for a date you could assume non interest. Or maybe he is unsure you want to go out again and doesn't want to face the dreaded rejection. | |
|
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 12:26:18 PM | He thinks you are out of his league so he's afraid you don't want to see him again - drop him an email, tell him you had fun, let's do it again, pick a date/time...
Or like the others said, h e had a nice time but that's it, no sparks, no desire to date and have a relationship.
Can't read his mind, don't bother to try, message him!!!!!
I had a very small revelation the other day...something about how if you don't contact someone for awhiel, they will assume you aren't interested in them. Which may very well be true (you aren't). Or you are waiting to hear from them...and YOU assume if you don't hear that they aren't interested...
it is a convoluted circle...
If I"m not interested...I don't bother to message him....
If I'm not sure i'm interested....I dont' message him because I figure I"ll let him contact me if we wants to see me....
Or I am interested....but I havent' heard from him so I figure he's not interested and I"m too lazy/chicken/busy to dot he messaging.
Then there HE is, sitting at his computer.
He's not interested....he doesn't bothe rto message me.
He's not sure if I'm interested...so he waits to see what I'll do.
he's busy/chicken, so he waits to see what I'll do....
Meanwhile, there we are, not talking, because we are waiting on the othe rperson to take the next step.
*shrug*
I say this b/c I will not talk to someone for a month, then get a text, b/c he's been busy or travelling. I assumed he wasn't interested, but he was, he just wasn't around. He didn't think I was interested though, because while he was travellign I never contacted him.
Honestly for me, if I really want to meet someone, I will contact him and suggest we hang out, go out,e tc... I'll give it a couple of tries. If he doesnt' pick up the ball I'll either say "hey what's the effing deal, do you want to go out or not" or I"ll just write him off as not interested. But I WILL at least put forth the effort of contacting him first. If I don't really care if I meet up wtih him or not, eh, I won't bother with the effort....I"ll throw out one "hey let's hang out this week" or "hey lets meet up for lunch/drink" and if he doesn't pick up the ball then I walk away and move on.
I am making this sound more complicated then it really is. I guess I figure I only have so much energy and time to spend on pursuing a date. And the amt of time and energy I"mwilling to spend on someoen is very directly proportional to how interested I am in him. Which is also related to how much I enjoy his company and how well I know him. A guy that I had ONE date with, or have exchanged 3 messages with???? Bah...not worth more than a couple of attempts at seeing him again. After that, it's up to him or I"m moving on. My life is WAAAAAY too full to chase someone who can't pick up a phone or computer to set up a date after I suggest we go out.
Good luck, chickie. DOn't stress over it to much, but if you do want to see him again, drop him a line and see what he does. if he doesn't contact you back, then move on and stay busy with teh restof your life. Think of fate...things work out the way they are meant to.
He's waiting to hear from me | |
|
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 12:34:33 PM | Hi dingydaynaz,
I had a similar date last week. He was singing my praises and asking for a second date after half an hour of meeting( which I agreed to). We shared a very long passionate kiss at the end of the night. He then text me when he got home to thank me for an amazing night... didnt hear from him for days after that but I saw that he was checking his messages for the next two days after our date. Still not heard from him after a week.
So go figure! I have moved on but it shows that a good date means nothing. it's the follow up that counts. | |
|
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 12:47:25 PM | | He wanted to know if he left a good impression, and IF he wanted to ask you out again would you or not. He had no intention of dating you (or anyone else probably). Just a mental note or notch for an imaginary army of willing women. I went out on dates with some guy who were like this. Now I know during the date and sometimes from a phone call if he is just another bored home buddy or workaholic looking for a date to break the boredom. Sometimes I know if I wanted to get him off my case I should respond to his email and say yes it was amazing for him to never call again. Works every time. | |
|
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 1:43:25 PM | | OP, you might have more of a chance of meeting someone with long-term potential if you had a better profile. You should hop over to the Profile Review forum for some suggestions. | |
|
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 1:51:53 PM | | Your height is listed as 6'3"......was he shorter than you?....that and being "separated" could be the reasons for no more contact. | |
|
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 1:52:00 PM | People change their minds all the time.
Sometimes the actual date is a let down from the
anticipation of the date. Sometimes you say something
and it gets remembered later and it's a no go.
Did you know that poster thing you have on your profile
has spelling errors in it? I hope you didn't pay money for that! | |
|
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 2:48:36 PM | | Speaking of that poster thing you have on your profile, that screamed to me soon as I read it that you aren't over somebody, so perhaps this also came accoss on the date. I'm surprized that he went on date to begin with after reading it. It is very nice words for someone who was involved and wants back with you, not somone who has just met you. | |
|
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 2:57:13 PM | Well how long has it been?...
I write back and thank him again for a wonderful dinner
Could be that whatever you said there through him off. | |
|
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 3:40:26 PM |  Maybe he was like me, and got jealous of the way you can style your hair But on a more serious note, I think he's somewhat of an experienced dater. The dated probably seemed to 10 plated too him. From some of my experiences, if the date just goes according too the typical social norms like you described and nothing somewhat spontaneous or pleasently surprising happened that was fun for both of you, it leaves some with room for doubt. | |
|
| Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 10:49:33 PM | OP, other posters have covered most of the possible reasons why a second date hasn't happened. I'll focus instead on what you can do in the future to improve second-date chances. (For our purposes here, a first date is not the same as a meet-and-greet, although you should do what you can there to encourage a follow-up call for the "real" first date.)
First, let him know during the date that you are interested in him, and that interest might be romantic in nature. Sit close to him, take his hand, tell him how much you enjoy being with him.
At the end of the date, or before if you feel like it, kiss him ... more than once. Don't tell him how much you enjoyed dinner and stop; tell him how much you enjoyed being with HIM. Make that last good-night kiss one that he will be thinking about all the way home, and into the next day or two. Whisper "call me" into his ear just before he leaves.
If he had a good time too, and your good-night suggested better times to come, he will call you soon and ask you out again. | |
|
| |
Home
login 
