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 chinadol6977
Joined: 6/24/2011
Msg: 1
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Ex wants to go on vacation....Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Although I've never been one to revisit a past relationship,after being single for the last few months the pickings look very slim..I haven't found anyone that I'm really interested in,most seem interested in sex,not a bad thing but that's not happening from the start.I was just recently approached by my ex,he suggested that we take a vacation together in December because our anniversary was on New Years Eve...I'm somewhat tempted to go just for the sexual release,but I also feel like that would completely box me into closing myself off from forming a connection with anyone else....I guess it's the age old question of something you're familiar with vs something unknown....
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 2
Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/12/2011 11:11:45 PM
There was a commercial about how this girl ran into her ex, and then he asked her to go to the beach with him and she went and then when she was there she remembered why he was her ex ...but she was still stuck there with him at the beach
 chinadol6977
Joined: 6/24/2011
Msg: 3
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Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/12/2011 11:21:40 PM
i know all of his bad habits there's no way that I could forget them,but I've ran into some really creepy and crazy guys that make him look like an angel in comparison....
 chinadol6977
Joined: 6/24/2011
Msg: 4
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Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/12/2011 11:36:38 PM
It wouldn't be the first time that someone compared my thought process to a guy's....
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 5
Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/12/2011 11:44:07 PM

.I guess it's the age old question of something you're familiar with vs something unknown....

I really don't get it. You've already hd sex with your ex and you spent enough time with him to to know you didn't want to spend any more time with him. How could something known, but bad be better than something unknown? Do you think that having sex with with your ex doesn't count as notch on the bed post like an unknown, so that you feel better about it? (Personally, I'd feel much worse about having sex with an ex than just some random person. It's desperation to have to go back to someone you already decided was bad for you.) The only way to get anywhere is to stop trying to be comfortable.
 _roxy_
Joined: 3/29/2011
Msg: 6
Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/13/2011 12:05:59 AM
I went on holiday with an ex a few years back. Its true you get to remember exactly why you split up. We still had a great time though. He's asked me since but I think maybe its better for him to find someone to go with that he has potential with.
I'm not sure whether you mean just a holiday or making another go of it. If its the former then I say go and have a great time, the latter I couldn't comment on as I know nothing or your relationship with him.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 7
Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/13/2011 12:17:10 AM
go ahead and give him the booty..it will make his day..and what a wonderful xmas/anniversary present too!, right?
 chinadol6977
Joined: 6/24/2011
Msg: 8
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Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/13/2011 12:38:28 AM
No,I'd feel alot worse having sex with a random person...No desperation involved,never suffered from that problem..More or less juggling the idea of enjoying the vacation with him or trying to enjoy random dates with the individuals that are trying to date me...Maybe it has to do more with being bored with the current options..As far as history goes,we get along pretty good,we were married,so we have a strong friendship...I just have to make sure that I don't blur the lines,and that we don't have any misunderstandings if I choose to take the trip with him..
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 9
Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/13/2011 12:42:17 AM
OP - you've been single a few months ???

gosh...sounds terrible.

lol


oh - once a partner ceases to be your partner...you no long have an ""aniversary"" as it were.



go find someone else...
 Kitten189
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 10
Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/13/2011 1:47:25 AM
Op,it really sounds like the you know is better than the you dont.........!!??

Go and enjoy the sex and resume your singledom when you return,unless you discover he's worth more than that
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 11
Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/13/2011 5:21:06 AM
More or less juggling the idea of enjoying the vacation with him or trying to enjoy random dates with the individuals that are trying to date me...

your posts make no sense. go on vacation with the guy and resume your random dating with boring guys when you get back. as a matter of fact, you can even bring your mobile w/ you and set up a few random dates with boring guys while you are actually on vacation and fukking your ex!!! wow.... that's awesome. you won't actually lose any time at all with these individuals that are trying to date you!


...I just have to make sure that I don't blur the lines,

oh so you are saying you think he wants to rekindle the relationship, but you just want a vacation and some sex. that's easy... just tell him you are going on vacation w/ him just for the sexual release. or pretend like your interest matches his, then say you changed your mind when you get home. ---> "it's not you, it's me....."
 Macgyver_at_heart
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 12
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Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/13/2011 8:55:46 AM
Motown, you sound overly hostile this morning, I think you could use a vacation with an ex.
Chinadol, I see you list you status as separated so I guess this ex you're talking about is actually your ex-to-be. Why did you break up in the first place? If the vacation is just for sex then it would seem hypocritical of you to judge the "slim pickings" out there that are just looking for the same thing.
Anyway, if this is just for sex you owe him the courtesy of telling him that because I suspect he's wanting more than just a rekindling of loins, especially if he's incorporating your anniversary into the vacation.
 chinadol6977
Joined: 6/24/2011
Msg: 13
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Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/13/2011 8:58:03 AM
No,I tend to be upfront with all of my actions,and yes,I can go on vacation and still have dates that bore me....I'm not dating one person,nor am I having sex with any of the people,because they bore me......
 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 14
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Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/13/2011 9:08:33 AM
So wait...
You're separated only three months?
You're contemplating going on vacation with your husband near your wedding anniversary, but not to rekindle the relationship...just for sex?

Oh yes, that sounds like it should be an emotionally healthy thing to do.

Lol...WTF?
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 15
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Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/13/2011 9:14:55 AM
You were married? If this is the father of your kids and you are planning on taking the biggest step backwards of your life I'd say not.

A couple of D batteries bring a lot less drama.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 16
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Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/13/2011 10:35:16 AM
If this is the man from whom you're separated, he's not your ex yet. You're still married to him.

That fact notwithstanding, if you're in the process of divorcing him, you don't have an anniversary anymore. Why would you do anything with him as a couple?

If you want to go on vacation to look for other men, go by yourself. Your "ex" asked you to go with him so he can a last hurrah with you, in your pants.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 17
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Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/13/2011 1:06:15 PM
If you don't want to get back together with him then don't go! If you have enough interest to give him the chance, then go.

A vacation on the anniversary year is not an offer for sex. It's an offer for sex with another agenda attached. Maybe a benevolent one, maybe not, but it's there.

If you want to go for the sex release alone, then I would say absolutely don't go.

Nothing wrong with this. Change your POF to reflect what you are after right now: Sex release. Get yourself a FWB with a decent man. You don't need to get caught up in the old emotional turmoil just for sex release.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 18
Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/13/2011 1:15:08 PM
you have a strong friendship with him and you're liking the idea of having sex with him and spending time with him...

are you sure you want to be separated?

If the issues that caused the split aren't big ones (infidelity/abuse/lying/etc.) then maybe you can get back together again... this could be the first step.

If you have NO desire to get back together with him (or he with you) then I'd say to leave it - start a completely new life apart from him
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 19
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Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/13/2011 2:32:10 PM
So you would rather have sex with your soon-to-be ex because the current crop of men who want to date you are "boring", according to you and some of the men you describe as really creepy and crazy. How many men have there been in your life in the past few months since you've been separated? With all of the men you were involved with in this time frame, the boring creepy and crazy ones, there is one common denominator: It's YOU.

If the situation was reversed-a guy saying he wants to vacation with an ex strictly for the sex and all single women are boring, creep and crazy, there would be a whole lot of totally different responses here. Very few people, especially women, would be saying: "Go ahead and fvck her brains out and dump her afterwards and continue looking for a sane woman who's not boring".
 Icestorm
Joined: 1/15/2007
Msg: 20
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Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/13/2011 2:38:45 PM
Well, where does he want to go on vacation?
 Tim0066
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 21
Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/13/2011 4:27:42 PM

it's usually the guys starting threads like this.


Thats because we got balls and girls dont...

(thats a joke, before I get hammered by feminists)

The girls don't have to post because they usually search and find the guys posts and read all the replies... unlike OP who didn't bother to search for the 1000000000 threads just like this.

OP: Why is he asking you out 2 months in advance??? Probably to tie up your emotions for the next couple months just prior to the holidays.

Tell him to call you a week before he wants to go and if you're not committed to someone by then you'll think about it. DON'T ignor any chances to meet a new great guy before then and if you do then you can tell your ex no when he calls... keep control in your hand by leaving him the one not sure if you're going or not... let him put HIS life on hold for 2 months... don't let him play games with your emotions.

If all he wanted was sex then he'd just call and ask you to go this week, not two months from now... don't be a fool and fall for the bs drama. If he wanted to try dating again he wouldn't ask you out two months in advance either.

To be honest you are probably better off going without, or finding a FWB before then if you need to have sex all that bad... there's always Bob.
 chinadol6977
Joined: 6/24/2011
Msg: 22
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Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/13/2011 11:10:53 PM
Wow...First fwb is not what I'm looking for,and surely not from a dating site..I have been single longer than 3 months,I joined 3 months ago..SMH
He asked me ahead of time,so that I could put in VACATION time from my JOB,some of us do work.He's not trying to keep me emotionally tied up in any way,he asked because we have always taken vacations together,he's never traveled without me,because he never had an interest in it until we got married.Sex with random guys is not my thing,not sure what area some of you are from,but look up the HIV rates for my age group in the Washington,Dc area....SMH
Some of the responses don't deserve to be replied back to,some folks sound like they could use a little release themselves.....
And no,we don't plan on getting back together as a couple,I will always be a friend to him.But,after he came back from his deployment he was not the same man,I love him as a person,but we can not stay in a marriage together.
And my profile clearly states that I am only looking for friends to hang out with sometimes,not sex partners,or guys looking for Ltr..So, why would I need to change my profile??
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 23
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Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/14/2011 3:21:02 AM
Okay.

Apparently you are not interested in our advice. Fair enough :)

So go on that vocation with him.

Update this thread later on how it went :)
 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 24
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Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/14/2011 3:23:28 AM

I have been single longer than 3 months,I joined 3 months ago..SMH


I guess this confused everyone?
vvvvvvvvvvv

after being single for the last few months the pickings look very slim


And FYI, you're NOT single...you're still married.
 Wrenchturner
Joined: 7/30/2011
Msg: 25
Ex wants to go on vacation....
Posted: 9/14/2011 3:51:08 AM
No, this is not that age old question This is the age old situation of, " can I handle being alone for the time it takes to find a new relationship or, am I so needy that I have to go back to my ex because he is the only ship on the seas right now."

If you go you will be giving him the complete wrong impression and probably open up a whole other can of worms for yourself so be prepared for that drama to start up. If you want to just have sex with him why not JUST have sex with a neutral third party? If this is all about not being alone and wanting a break, round up some gals and go on vacation with them or, sign up for a vacation that caters to singles and see how that goes. Unless you still have feelings for your ex and want to try to rekindle something with him, don't go on vacation with him.
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