| | Does "Sarcastic Sense of Humor" = poor social skills?Page 1 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) | I read this as a descriptor in most guys' profiles.
In your personal dating experience, is "sarcasm" a red flag--a euphemism, for poor social skills? Or is it a prime desirable attribute, seeing as so many people tout it? | |
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| Does Sarcastic Sense of Humor = poor social skills?
Posted: 9/16/2011 6:28:00 PM | More like poor vocabulary, poor profile writing skills. I'm seeing it in females' profiles too; it's trending. Rarely see it in a cliche-free profile which makes me wonder whether they read other profiles to copy-cat after them; or (as I suspect) they think it's interchangeable with "witty" and don't bother to read enough other profiles to notice it's not fresh.
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| Does Sarcastic Sense of Humor = poor social skills?
Posted: 9/16/2011 7:47:05 PM | not to in to sarcasm. it gets old pretty fast.
there is so much more; great conversations, exploring new ideas, etc.
i like a man who is inquisitive and intelligent. i guess i would equate the use of sarcasm frequently as being pretty shallow, defensive, insecure.
guys who crack silly jokes all the time are equally boring.
kaylee | |
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| Does Sarcastic Sense of Humor = poor social skills?
Posted: 9/16/2011 8:34:01 PM | Everyone has a different style of humour.
I know I'm out in left field, and some people just don't get me.
That's ok
At least I can laugh at myself.
Which I do a lot.
I'm just not fond of people who are mean sarcastic. | |
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| Does Sarcastic Sense of Humor = poor social skills?
Posted: 9/16/2011 8:49:40 PM | I think that sarcastic people are laughing at themselves along with their target. Proves that they don't take them selves too seriously.
Either that or they are just as mean as a snake... Half the fun is unpeeling all the layers to their onion. | |
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| Does Sarcastic Sense of Humor = poor social skills?
Posted: 9/16/2011 9:05:12 PM | Sarcastic most often means mean, and people that lead off telling you that are giving you a very fair warning. One I heed and I stay away from them.
Some of the profiles really make me wonder. It is like the poster is being as obnoxious as possible. I wonder if those people get any responses and how it goes if they do. | |
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| Does Sarcastic Sense of Humor = poor social skills?
Posted: 9/16/2011 11:06:55 PM | | Sarcasm doesn't have to be mean, but too often people use sarcasm as a cover for being mean. You have to know when and where it's appropriate. I wouldn't say it equals poor social skills, in fact it takes very good social skills to pull it off. Always being sarcastic get's old fast. If it's the only arrow in the quiver, that would be a sign of poor social skills. | |
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| Does Sarcastic Sense of Humor = poor social skills?
Posted: 9/16/2011 11:28:20 PM | | Sarcasm is a difficult form of humor to do well because of the potential for misunderstanding and hurt feelings. I used to use it far too often, and am now making an effort to restrain myself. | |
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Cliche
| | Joined: 8/17/2011
Msg: 15 | |
| Does Sarcastic Sense of Humor = poor social skills?
Posted: 9/17/2011 1:05:48 AM | | Wow I would never have guessed so many people would rip on sarcasm. I believe it to be a fundamental social skill, in both giving and receiving it. Obviously to much of anything is going to get old and stale, but I think sarcasm is going to be in the playbook of anyone who is socially adept. | |
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| Does Sarcastic Sense of Humor = poor social skills?
Posted: 9/17/2011 3:30:24 AM |
In your personal dating experience, is "sarcasm" a red flag--a euphemism, for poor social skills? Or is it a prime desirable attribute, seeing as so many people tout it?
I am one of the few folks who love "sarcasm" I like taking it and doling it out too. I f I hung out with a girl like that we'll be "two a%^holes in a pod"  Jeez, I crack me up. | |
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| Does Sarcastic Sense of Humor = poor social skills?
Posted: 9/17/2011 5:03:48 AM | I'm not COMPLETELY sure what you are asking ParkAve. I think it's that you've seen a lot of guys profiles wherein they brag or warn that they have a sarcastic sense of humor, and that YOU think that they are trying to cover up for poor social skills.
If that's what you are asking, then I suspect you are right. At the same time, I don't myself think that a sarcastic wit is a bad thing in and of itself. I don't think I use sarcasm much, because I know that the tone of a persons voice HAS to be present in order for the person hearing them to have a chance of RECOGNIZING the sarcasm. Without the face to face element, sarcasm that is intended as inner circle commiseration, can and frequently does come across as insulting derision. So it's a dangerous conversational tool to try to use.
But would I treat sarcasm as the sort of 'red flag' that would make me instantly discard the person? Sometimes yes, sometimes no, depending on the exact experience I had with the rest of their profile. I know that LOTS of people, including me, write things in their profile that THEY think mean one thing, but those reading it perceive something else entirely.
For example, I mentioned in my profile that I can do good massages, and that I'm willing to rub a woman's feet too. I meant that to indicate that I wasn't grossed out by rubbing feet, and that I could help a woman feel better after a long day at work, but several people thought I was declaring that I had a foot fetish.
So if I read in a woman's profile that she thinks she has a sarcastic wit, and the REST of what she says suggests that she means she will stab me in the chest as foreplay, then yes, I WILL pass on to the next profile as fast as I can. But if I get the impression that she simply feels that she is slightly off kilter to the rest of society at times, then I might find it attractive, since I sure think at least half the world is nuts at least half of the time. | |
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| Does Sarcastic Sense of Humor = poor social skills?
Posted: 9/17/2011 8:29:32 AM | I dont find it desirable at all because its associated with negativity, and who wants to be around someone like that all the time? Its a cowards way of saying what they really feel.
I could see how a sarcastic person would have poor social skills, but it all depends what type of sarcasm they use. I dont think most people would respond well to sarcasm from a stranger unless they knew that person.
OP: You didnt mention what type of sarcasm is being used. Black or white. There is a big difference. | |
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| Does Sarcastic Sense of Humor = poor social skills?
Posted: 9/17/2011 9:24:13 AM | | Time & a place for it, as any behavior. Depends on the person, what they are dishing out, to who they are dishing it towards and limits. I find a lot of things red flags . Again, depends on the person . | |
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| Does Sarcastic Sense of Humor = poor social skills?
Posted: 9/17/2011 9:54:40 AM | one would think that good communication skills would eliminate the need for sarcasm, but, as they say, this isn't a perfect world. As long as the sarcasm remains humane, and not intended in a harmful manner, then I think it can be excused.
I don't see where sarcasm has anything to do with social skills. | |
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| Does Sarcastic Sense of Humor = poor social skills?
Posted: 9/17/2011 10:28:44 AM |
(as I suspect) they think it's interchangeable with "witty"
I think that's the ticket. When I see someone brag about being sarcastic, I think:
- 1st time = funny
- 2nd time = not so funny
- 3rd time = stale, do you have any OTHER modes of communication?
- 4th time = didn't hear it, I'm not listening any more
I see a sarcasm boast as a kind of warning that this person has the potential to rub nerves raw on a regular basis, and may never give you a straight answer to a serious question, because they're too focused on being "sarcastic".
I have a quirk in that I'm a pun-commando. Most people notice that I say very bizarre things at times that seem to make no sense. They don't quiz me on it, they pretty much ignore it and move on. That's cool with me. Some people understand, and that's cool. But it's not something I'd expect to draw people to hand around me, like I'm some sort of Socrates dispensing wisdom, humor, and rebellion in small, chewable chunks.
== The other day I heard a gal on her cell phone in a store. She was talking at 1000 mph to some friend and said "like" about 100 times in the space of 2 minutes. Perhaps she thinks people will like her more often if she says "like" more often? This is exactly the type of person I'd expect to say "I'm only being sarcastic".
Sure. | |
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| Does Sarcastic Sense of Humor = poor social skills?
Posted: 9/17/2011 10:42:34 AM | It takes a degree of skill and intelligence to carry off sarcasm effectively....sarcasm is only funny if the audience/recipient 'gets' the joke...but that has little to do with having good social skills.
Dry humour is an art | |
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Fifi47
| | Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 25 | |
| Does Sarcastic Sense of Humor = poor social skills?
Posted: 9/17/2011 10:53:47 AM | | I could easily be sarcastic more than I am, and my wit tends to be dry. Some use sarcasm in a mean way, I do not (or try not to use it that way). Sometimes people I have met who are sarcastic seem to be intelligent, unusual, and a bit eccentric. As far as the poor social skill idea, depends on the person and social situation maybe? I used to have a friend who thought that I did not get what she was saying when I did not respond to everything she said. She talked so slow and her conversations were so "average" that my thoughts were often on something else. My ADHD seemed to always kick in when talking to her, and my mind was multi-tasking when she was speaking. | |
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