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 Dorkvader27
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 1
FriendzonePage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I do and do not get it.

I have once or twice got stuck in "friendzone" but if I really wanted the woman it was only a matter of time before I could break out of it. I really do not get this theory that you get stuck there.. Can someone explain?

Even women I've dated who suggest we just be friends after a few months to a year or two of friendship they want more. I do not get it.

Sure you can get stuck in it for a period of time how ever it's not that hard to get out of if you take your time.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 2
Friendzone
Posted: 9/17/2011 4:21:00 PM
friendzone ?

you get stuck in the friendzone by approaching women like a friend instead of a man.

don't do this and don't whine about it.
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 3
Friendzone
Posted: 9/17/2011 4:51:54 PM
There is no exit ramp on the Friendzone. It is the road to nowhere.
 geoffonpof1
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 4
Friendzone
Posted: 9/17/2011 4:54:52 PM
Once a friend always a friend never changes.
 home_osorio
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 5
Friendzone
Posted: 9/17/2011 5:03:34 PM
some get stuck with it. some don't like you. good for you.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 6
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History
Friendzone
Posted: 9/17/2011 5:50:31 PM
Well, the "friendzone" doesn't actually exist. It's metaphor.

BY DEFINITION, if you "break out of it," you were never IN it to begin with. Maybe you were temporarily not the gals' number one sexual choice, but you were NOT in the "friendzone."

Therefore I would gently suggest that you are NOT the skilled breakout artist you think you are, you've simply misunderstood the concept you are talking about here.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 7
Friendzone
Posted: 9/17/2011 5:51:18 PM

you are NOT the skilled breakout artist you think you are,


ooooooo burrn.
 forumjunkie942
Joined: 8/15/2011
Msg: 8
Friendzone
Posted: 9/17/2011 5:53:36 PM
I don't really understand the idea that one can NEVER get out of the friendzone. I think it happens more when people are younger and more when things change. The dorky guy in high school who discovers Facebook and becomes a billionaire? Do you think he went to his high school reunion and didn't have women flocking to him like sharks to blood in the water? The girls who start out fat and then lose all the weight and show up in college with a hard body and a box full of bikinis?

I think if your life doesn't change drastically, then yes, you will be stuck in the friendzone. I also think if you don't make distance, you will have a harder time in the friendzone. But do you think lottery winners, the new lottery winners, don't see whats going on in their lives once they rack in the millions?

Also sometimes the other person's life falls apart, and while you might have looked like a dork in high school, now you are a guy with a good career, a big house, a solid car, a nice life and maybe now shes got two kids and is a struggling single mom working at a gas station. Suddenly that dork with good medical benefits and can get her out of that crappy one bedroom apartment starts to look like a good catch.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 9
Friendzone
Posted: 9/17/2011 6:23:34 PM
OP,
You ever thought of asking the woman out that you like? or at least getting her phone number to arrange a date. That's getting out of the friendzone and initiating as a man that goes after what he wants. Even if the lady says no, she will always know in the back of her head that you're attracted to her on a higher level than just a friend. While you move onto someone else that wants you.

Men that ask women out are more date material than the dude that just sits back and lets the girl get away.
 newreality2010
Joined: 10/29/2010
Msg: 10
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History
Friendzone
Posted: 9/17/2011 7:44:49 PM
You are stuck in friends zone because you either failed to ask her out properly, and instead suggested soemthing like "hanging out" or "going to a party"
or you did ask her out properly and it was decided at some point to become friends.
Everything in life is negotiable. You can ask her properly next time, and if that is what you are trying to do, then make a big show of paying, so she realizes, you are approaching her as a date and not just a friend. Though, if she still insist on paying for half, then you are still in the friend zone, and you will have to work harder.
 Dorkvader27
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 11
Friendzone
Posted: 9/18/2011 2:05:32 PM
I think a lot of you did not understand the post. I have seen numerous posts on here and other forums about relationships in which someone is asking about how to get out of a friendzone.

I've never had an issue with it personally. I do ask women out properly and I do take them on real dates.

I personally think friendzone is a myth. At best it's temporary and can be changed with time.
 sweetfunfitgirl
Joined: 5/14/2011
Msg: 12
Friendzone
Posted: 9/18/2011 2:43:30 PM
Whats up with your profile? And, this thread is a little strange....
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 13
Friendzone
Posted: 9/18/2011 3:26:02 PM

I have once or twice got stuck in "friendzone" but if I really wanted the woman it was only a matter of time before I could break out of it.

I don't think it's that easy to get out of the friend zone. The friend zone is an abyss. Once in a while a gal will want to be "friends" but actually not place you directly in the friend zone, so you might be confusing the REAL friend zone vs not dating anymore or I like the other guy better and I dont want things complicated with you being Plan B much longer.

The real friend-zone is where they are not attracted to you. Now, if you're a bit out of a gal's league, she probably does. OR if you're Mr Nice Guy, and you're "dating" the woman, you may not be truly dating and she just needs a Nice Guy post-jerkdom, and you're more in a quasi-friend-zone, and there's little attraction to you -- just attraction to being with you which ends up being temporary.

I really do not get this theory that you get stuck there.. Can someone explain?

It's pretty simple. It's a girl that you knowingly had "a chance" to designate yourself as more-than-a-friend but failed, and seen like a cousin. Classic Mr Nice Guys will fall into this. She isn't attracted to you. As far as sexuality is concerned, she's turned off by you. In essence, you'd have to make a girl who doesn't want you, want you. Something new & different would have to occur, with good timing. Tough to come by. An example:
- She turned you down but likes you as a friend. You walk into her work with a beautiful woman who's more than just a friend. Next time you hang with friends and she's there, you bring her... and you act like no, actually, I have something better. Jealously will make her want you, if you're not notably below her league.
 Szkaupi
Joined: 9/15/2011
Msg: 14
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History
Friendzone
Posted: 9/18/2011 4:39:07 PM
Go to youtube and search for Wing Girls Friend zone. Even if it doesn't help, they're still funny.

You CAN break out of the Friend Zone. I guess it depends what everyone's definition of "Friend Zone" is.
 nyickuh21
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 15
Friendzone
Posted: 9/19/2011 8:55:45 AM
The "Friend zone" can be quite a painful/awkward experience sometimes. It really is impossible to get out of, even if you haven't seen her in years! If you ever did get a girl to want to be with you after a duration of perceived FZ, you were never really in the FZ to begin with. Trust me, when you officially enter the Friend Zone, it's permanent.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 16
Friendzone
Posted: 9/19/2011 9:10:12 AM
I think a lot of you did not understand the post. I have seen numerous posts on here and other forums about relationships in which someone is asking about how to get out of a friendzone.

I've never had an issue with it personally. I do ask women out properly and I do take them on real dates.

I personally think friendzone is a myth. At best it's temporary and can be changed with time


K...Let's get this straight...You aren't asking a question...Just stating that you consider it a myth because you have never been put in the friend zone...
Well...Good for you...! No problem then..why worry about it??
You're wanting to brag or are you complaining that sometimes you would just like to be the friend??

In my experience....Once I have put someone in the "friend zone" there is nothing he can do or say to change my mind...If he is persistant..He would more than likely be removed from the "friend" list...as well.
 EcCeNtRiCtY1979
Joined: 4/7/2011
Msg: 17
Friendzone
Posted: 9/19/2011 9:12:06 AM
I have to say since I place many guys in the friend zone that in all reality it is of coarse what we or should I say I do when I like a guy enough to want to still hang out but not either attracted to him or just don't want to date him. Breaking out of it is hard but don't give up. It is possible. I on the other hand have never had to deal with being put in a friend zone. Look at it this way at least its not a straight up rejection.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 18
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History
Friendzone
Posted: 9/19/2011 10:08:14 AM

EcCeNtRiCtY1979 said:

Look at it this way at least its not a straight up rejection.


No, it is WORSE than a straight up rejection.
 mr.futureright
Joined: 10/12/2008
Msg: 19
Friendzone
Posted: 9/19/2011 12:39:54 PM
the friendzone is where good men, and good relationships go to die. lol. its a fact, only a select few EVER have a chance to escape the friendzone, its the most high security prison ever built, no escape, none.
 EcCeNtRiCtY1979
Joined: 4/7/2011
Msg: 20
Friendzone
Posted: 9/19/2011 12:50:09 PM
I never looked at it that way. I put guys in the friend zone a lot I still want thier acquaintance jus not wanting to date them. Guess ill need to think before putting another guy in the "ZONE"
 Dorkvader27
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 21
Friendzone
Posted: 9/19/2011 12:59:40 PM
I agree with you there. How ever my expereince is I've got put into friendzone I stop chasing start dating other women. We will hang out as friends and talk about our dating lives. Then I suddenly get out of friendzone. It's not instant and some time it takes a while a year or so. They have to think something has changed but nothing has to change. Perhaps it's different for me because when I'm friends with someone I'm a completely different person then when I date them and they like the "friend me" but not the "dating me".

The other times I've got out of it typically involved alcohol and them seeing me naked for the first time. We start up a FWB and then they get attatched.

It just takes time to get out of friendzone unless you've done something they will never be able to get beyond or over. IE they found out you slept with half the time. You have herpes something a long those lines.

As for my profile I'm not using POF to date. Just using it for the forum at the moment and I don't want people to stumble across my posts (had that happen once and it ruined a potential relationship).
 EcCeNtRiCtY1979
Joined: 4/7/2011
Msg: 22
Friendzone
Posted: 9/19/2011 3:10:38 PM
I am currently pretty much using pof as a way to make friends since i am new to this area. Im alone here no fam and no friends excedpt the ones i have made on this site. I wish this site also had an area where you can meet other ppl of your own gender in your area to become friends with. As far as right now I only have guy friends
 Dorkvader27
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 23
Friendzone
Posted: 9/20/2011 7:02:05 AM
Too bad you don't live in my area I could introduce you to a lot of women. I have a lot of female friends. I don't trust guys at all (most of my male friends have banged/run off with someone I was dating behind my back). Plus female friends have numerous benefits (go to bars with em I rarely have to buy alcohol)
 Monike2011
Joined: 12/18/2010
Msg: 24
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Friendzone
Posted: 9/20/2011 1:36:37 PM
Every woman is different and you can't generalize about each individual until you take the time to talk to them. Some women will accept you, some women won't. And they have all their reasons. Don't assume - talk instead.
 HappyDip
Joined: 9/13/2011
Msg: 25
Friendzone
Posted: 9/20/2011 2:17:44 PM
There are exceptions to every rule.
IMO this thread is like saying "I don't understand why people complain about not winning the powerball. I win once in a while. 1 buck, 5 bucks, 10 bucks, 1 million. Not the jackpot, but I win something. It just takes time and patience. So I think people that advise others not to put their life savings towards playing the powerball every week are wrong. It's not that hard to win. I've won some money."

Different people have different amounts of tolerance to what they can spend towards something, either in money, patience, time, personality, etc., on the off chance something "may" change in the future.

Of course you really aren't defining the terms.
Such as what you mean by friends, if it really means FWB. And what you mean by they want more. Like friends to FWB, or marriage, or just spending more time together, or dating.

I do know a lot of friend relationships flare and burn through the dating process in large part because of mixed signals and sucky communication.
i.e. someone throws girl/boy friend behavior into the mix and the other feels compelled to react accordingly. So escalation comes because it's a reaction to misunderstanding the situation, rather than a clear understanding of exactly who each person is and what each person wants.
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