| | why am i always just a friend?Page 1 of 1 | | im awesome. im sweet. im kind and caring. im compassionate. im beautiful (or so ive been told from time to time) but im never relationship material for some reason. since my marriage fell apart i cant seem to find anyone that is truly interested in who i am. please help me understand why? | |
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| why am i always just a friend?
Posted: 9/19/2011 2:39:08 PM | typically when someoen is always in the friendzone - its cuz they act like a friend to everyone of the opposite sex they meet.
stop acting soooo friendly ...
act more sexy. | |
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| why am i always just a friend?
Posted: 9/19/2011 2:41:34 PM | | I noticed "separated" on your profile. Personally, I don't mess around with married women and consider married women "off limits" for any type of relationship other than friendship. Even if a woman has been separated for a lengthy period of time, then I wonder why the marriage was never legally terminiated. Yes, I realize some women stay married for benefit reasons, i.e. insurance. | |
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| why am i always just a friend?
Posted: 9/19/2011 2:45:19 PM | | i have been separated for 3yrs now. the divorce is not finalized yet cuz theres been a lengthy custody battle and financial issues as well. there are no benefits to gain from remaining married to him i just wanted to be completely honest in my profile. | |
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| why am i always just a friend?
Posted: 9/19/2011 2:47:57 PM | I don't think this is where you're going to find your answers.
Unless you are just looking for an ego boost.
I suggest you go see a counselor.
They will help you understand what your issues are.
Well worth the investment.
Cause you're worth it. | |
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| why am i always just a friend?
Posted: 9/19/2011 2:49:25 PM | (1) Your profile comes across as cynical, bitter and negative, not sweet, awesome, kind or caring;
(2) You're seperated. That's not a deal breaker for everyone (My fiancee was seperated when we started dating), but it's a deal breaker for lots of people;
(3) You'll always be a friend if you always act like a friend. Dating involves sexual interest, so if you're trying to be friends with guys to scope them out and avoid the possibility of getting hurt, they aren't likely to wait around for you. | |
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| why am i always just a friend?
Posted: 9/19/2011 2:49:51 PM | | I'm guessing that those who know you as a "friend" then also know of your situation. Perhaps, as a result, those male friends just want to remain "friends" until your custody battle and other marital issues are resolved. | |
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| why am i always just a friend?
Posted: 9/19/2011 3:03:23 PM | reduced to the most basic element, the difference between friendship and romance is sex. sex doesn't happen unless there is a sexual attraction. you're on the heavy side, and that reduces the pool of prospects who will find you sexually attractive.
lose weight and you'll probably find more of the guys you want to bang wanting to bang you. | |
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| why am i always just a friend?
Posted: 9/19/2011 3:04:39 PM | 1st: When you're Separated, you can't expect to have too many Relationship opportunities. People won't take it that seriously. They'd need to be VERY ga-ga about you off the bat AND you'd need to be completely over your ex, ready for a relationship outside of sheer lonliness, and have been separated for 2+ years for someone to realistically bite.
2nd: Make sure you're not a basket case in general. People tend to be a bit, or give off that impression "since my marriage fell apart". Don't be desperate & clingy -- learn to be OKAY with being Single. Otherwise you'll be in the rebound-rut.
3rd: Make sure you're not going after guys a bit out of your league. Make sure your tastes align well with feasibility, IF you're looking for something strong & established. | |
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| why am i always just a friend?
Posted: 9/19/2011 3:05:48 PM | | its not about banging. i would have no problem banging if thats how you want to word it. its the bond and the romantic connection i lack. | |
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| why am i always just a friend?
Posted: 9/19/2011 3:22:04 PM |
i would have no problem banging if thats how you want to word it. its the bond and the romantic connection i lack.
despite what chick lit would have you believe, the guys you want bonding and romance with, and who want it with you, like hot sex just as much as the ones you could pick up with a crook of your finger.
no sexual attraction=no hot sex=no romance | |
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| why am i always just a friend?
Posted: 9/19/2011 3:42:32 PM | | No one is truly interested in me either. It has come to a point where I really don't care anymore.....men are just too much trouble right now. | |
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| why am i always just a friend?
Posted: 9/19/2011 4:24:32 PM | the divorce is not finalized yet cuz theres been a lengthy custody battle and financial issues as well.
You can end your marital status tomorrow... and leave the rest to battle over. I did it myself, so I know it's possible. That may help for starters...
http://family-law.freeadvice.com/family-law/divorce_law/bifurcation-divorce.htm
But I don't believe it's the only reason. Since I don't know you, I could only guess that your personality is less sensual and more buddy?
You might take a risk and ask one of those *friends* why they don't consider you relationship material. They would have much better insight than a bunch of strangers here.
I would also get a profile review. As others have suggested, you seem to have some bitterness and negativity that comes across in a way that would turn off potential interests. | |
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| why am i always just a friend?
Posted: 9/19/2011 5:16:21 PM | I run into a lot of profiles like yours, OP....early 30s with kids but at the same time looking for younger guys or not much older than you....I base this on your age restrictions.
Realize that with kids you will have to consider an older guy to get a relationship otherwise go after the younger ones thinking that you are still "young at heart" or whatever. | |
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| why am i always just a friend?
Posted: 9/19/2011 5:32:41 PM |
I'm 31yrs old, I have 2 beautiful children...my son is 9yrs and my daughter is 6yrs. I like..., anything to spend time with my babies...watching movies, listening to music..
Thats why.
I'm a very honest, loving, compassionate, caring, faithful, fun to be around, generous, patient kinda person.
Thats great if you're looking for a girl friend to be buddies with.
I always seem to get used, abused, mistreated and hurt.
Thats also why.
Huge red flag.
No I don't want to sext...no I don't want a one nite stand or friends with benefits...noooo I don't want to be a pit stop for pleasure or someone's wet spot!
Translation: No. ...and ...No fun.
Sooooo don't even bother to waste my time or yours if thats what you're looking for!
Thats why.
Otherwise...message me and lets see where it goes...have a great day :)
You probably do get lots of messages from men who will abide by your approach pattern, but these guys don't excite you.
So, thats why. | |
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| why am i always just a friend?
Posted: 9/19/2011 6:15:52 PM | Since you're still married, are you quite sure you're emotionally ready to get involved with a guy again? I'm sure you think you are. I think everyone does. It's a natural response to want to "get back out there" right away.
However, you may be giving off a vibe or putting up a wall that you're not even aware of that turns people away. What I read in the first line of your profile essay screams that you've been lied to, and you're a bit resentful about it. Maybe you need some time to heal before "getting back out there". | |
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| why am i always just a friend?
Posted: 9/19/2011 6:28:56 PM |
I'm sweet,. I'm caring, I'm compassionate
That would indeed be three reasons.
Personally; there is no way in he** that I am getting anywhere NEAR seriosu in a relationship with someone who has not finalizeda divorce of yet. Heck; I'd only sleep with you if we had a secure and unknown place to do so!! | |
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| why am i always just a friend?
Posted: 9/19/2011 6:56:57 PM | | Three years is too long to spend filing a divorce. If either of you wanted it done and over with, it would've been done already. | |
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