| | Is he into me!!Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | Ok I Met a great guy we started texting 2 weeks ago the first week he texted me like crazy then we met and it was great, but the texting then really slowed down from him, he said its just that he is tired after work, but said that everything is great, then we met last weekend date 2 and it was great, but now the texting is even less. We have plans for this weekend and he is going to be meet my family, but I don't know if its me or if he is just not that insterested and he is just enjoying this till he finds someone else. We really do have like everything in common and there is a lot of chemistry, but we have only talked on the phone the one time, the night before our date.
Please tell me what u think I really like him I am just worried that it is too good to be true....  | |
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| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/20/2011 7:54:04 PM | I think you need to just go with the flow, the guy wouldnt be meeting your parents Im sure if he didnt like you, so I think you need to have a bit of confidence in yourself...why wouldnt he like you?
The texting thing? I think at the very start if any relationship people text like crazy so dont take to much notice of that.
So stop worrying, and go enjoy your weekend :) | |
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| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/20/2011 8:04:26 PM | | Yeah spot on Mrcorkdude, he wouldnt have gone on the second date if he wasnt interested maybe meeting the parents after 3 dates is abit much,cant you go on afew more dates and get to no one another and when your official then meet your oldies! | |
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| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/20/2011 8:14:34 PM | | don't initiate contact for now. go with the flow. eventually you will see if he is really interested in you, or if you are just a space filler till something else comes along. | |
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| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/21/2011 6:29:41 PM | maybe have a few more dates with just him and no family introductions yet.
also..as a precaution, i would not have a photo of my baby on line. | |
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| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/21/2011 6:35:23 PM | Sometimes I will have interest in the woman edge back on the texting after I've met her. Mostly because I don't want things to burn out. It's not entirely that I don't want to talk to her it's just I feel the relationship is moving from the cyber world of emails and text messages to the real physical world and that's where I would rather have the relationship.
As for what he is doing who knows? I highly doubt he would be up for meeting your family if he did not have some degree of interest. I avoid meeting family at all costs if I'm not interested.
I do agree with one of the other posters that it is a bit soon for you to be introducing him to family. But no changing that now right? | |
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| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/21/2011 7:10:20 PM |
Is he into me!!
Sort of.
You are just slowly getting out of the honeymoon phase.
He did all that texting to get you to like him.
He thought it was necessary in order to get you to keep talking/dating him.
Either because of how you communicated with him, you taught him you want and expect constant contact, or because of his routine/prejudice of how things are "supposed" to go and his past relationship habit behavior.
Now the relationship is simply finding it's real boundaries.
One of those being he has no desire to constantly text.
But he more than likely feels if he said "I don't want to text you so much," or, "anymore," you would wig out and either dump him for "changing" or "lying, and being someone he's not," or sit and nag at him asking "what's wrooooong? What'd I do?" If he says "nothing, I just don't want to text," he probably thinks you will keep puling and nagging until he comes up with something minor and he doesn't care about in order to give you something to placate your nagging, and then you blow that up and out of proportion.
And he wants to avoid that.
So it's just easier to get what he wants (less constant contact, and texting) by just doing it less, and blaming something else...avoids conflict and nagging, and judgments.
I wonder when he's going to come up with a forum of
"How come this girl I am dating never really communicates with me? She constantly chats via text, just text text text. I'm meeting her parents. But she brings her problems with the relationship to strangers. How do I get her to communicate and 'talk' to me, with me, rather than just chat and talk at me and take serious stuff to other people?" | |
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| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/21/2011 7:44:52 PM | | Two dates and he's meeting your family? Was that his idea? | |
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| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/21/2011 9:52:06 PM | Yeah the 2 dates and family thing is pretty fast. You don't think so?
I say if the actual dates are going really well and you think there is chemistry there for both of you then at this point you're worrying too much and over-analyzing. Maybe he doesn't have a very good phone plan and he is racking up the bills :p
too good to be true....
If you feel that way then it is. You have projected and idealized version of him. You don't know if he is 'too good' as you don't really know him very well... Be in the moment and just enjoy it and try not to have so many expectations about this new thing. | |
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A_Gent
| | Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 10 | |
| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/22/2011 8:06:47 PM | The general rule is that it is up to the man to pursue.. yet it is up to the woman to let the man know she wishes to be pursued.
That does not mean you play hard to get, but don't chase him either.
He may have had enough attraction/novelty to get the ball rolling, but not to sustain it. If so, nothing ventured/gained.. and be happy you haven't invested more in the relationship.
If he responds well to your invitation to put some effort into the relationship... play it out and find out where it can go.
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114M3
| | Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 11 | |
| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/22/2011 9:03:15 PM | It seems like you're being too overly enthusiastic about someone whom you hardly know enough of yet. ... Like someone above said: You're projecting an image of what you think he is.
and after just two dates he's already going to meet your folks?? that's a little too much too soon for me -- but perhaps thats just me. different strokes for different folks I guess.
I would suggest that you slow down your enthusiasm a bit and let things go at its own pace. You will know in due time whether or not he's into you. Perhaps don't be so available. Meaning: Keep yourself busy too. hopefully you're not sitting on the edge just waiting for him to text or call you.
Remember, the higher your expectations are, the harder you will fall. Save some room for dissapointment. I'm not saying things will not work out -- BUT its wiser to keep your excitement for when you truly know how he feels about you and most importantly, he acts upon it too. | |
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| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/22/2011 9:17:28 PM | | meeting your family on date 3 wow thats a lot of pressure for a guy whos not even sure if he completely likes you yet. I think that would put me off too I would think things are going way to fast. | |
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| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/22/2011 10:03:03 PM | I hate texting. Maybe he did it at the beginning because he felt he had to for arranging a real meeting.
Anyway, as others said just relax and see what happens over time. | |
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| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/23/2011 3:35:11 AM | | I equate the lack of communication with lack of interest. I could see the texting slowing down some after actually meeting and getting to know someone but there still should be and a nice back and forth intiation of some sort of correspondence, even if its a quick "have a nice day". Lack of time or being tired is really no excuse. When it becomes too one sided then someone is probably rethinking things. | |
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| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/23/2011 5:04:06 AM | It is WAY too early to have him meet your family. If a woman asks me to meet her family within two weeks, it tells me that she is moving too fast and makes me re-evaluate the relationship. It doesn't mean it will end, but it is just too short a period of time.
However, since you already have this planned I'd check with him and see if he can still make the commitment, but in the future try to slow it down a bit. | |
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| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/23/2011 6:44:43 AM |
there is a lot of chemistry,
well, if this is true on both sides, then you likely have nothing to worry about.
we have only talked on the phone the one time
you know its funny, i had met a sexy little 21 year old the other day and we had nice time talking, chatting etc on our first meet (not a POF girl)...
said she'd like to go out with me, blah blah so I get her number and she gets mine.
i had texted her the next day or so later a couple of innocuous texts.
when suddenly I received this :
""You know Boon, I am not really into texting, why don't you just call me if you wanna talk to me""
this coming from a 21 year old I am thinking I had been texting my aunt or something !!
point is, its your fault for not talking that much on the phone and accepting texts
do I think he is into you ?
I dunno - have yall had sex yet ? | |
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| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/23/2011 11:20:09 AM | On the flip side, if going on date #2 means meeting the parents, maybe this guy is building in a little "space?" WTF? Date #2 means meeting the parents? Is date #3 picking out place settings for the wedding? How about NOT meeting the parents for date #2? I can't imagine what MIGHT be going through his (or your) head right now. Texting is stupid, and I want to fall asleep with the "how was your day?" constant texting. Any normal person would.
I say BACK OFF a bit, and for GAWD'S sakes, DON'T make him meet your parents for date #2!!!  | |
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| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/23/2011 10:28:27 PM | I think that men are a completly different species and they don't think like we do. Liking someone and responding to a text or a phone call is never a priority if they have a carrer, family or school. You should however make it know what you want and what you need our of the relationship. If you don't tell him what you want, he wont know and if he freaks out about your expectations then he is not for you because you are looking for someone who you will want in the end to change and meet your expectations. Please read "The Mastery of Love". It will help you with all the relationships in your life. Great book!
Also do you realy want him to meet your family this soon?
If you have kids the last thing you want to do is get them involved right away, because if things don't work out between you two and the kids get attached it is three times harder on you because you also have to mend your little ones heart. Trust me I have been there
Good Luck with the fishing!
and I wish you all the best :)
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| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/23/2011 10:37:51 PM | | It's kind of early to meet the family don't ya think? Either way, why don't you actually have a conversation instead of just texting. I like texting while at work, but I also like to have an actual conversation and hear a woman's voice too. | |
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| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/24/2011 7:22:33 AM | Is he into me!! No. Sorry, but I don't think he is. In my experience, if a man is interested, there is no doubt. He lets you know in no uncertain terms. He wants to see you, be with you, talk to you....Only talking once on the phone and a few intermittent texts indicates little interest. If you are sleeping with him, that is the reason he is showing any interest in keeping you hanging on. To use you. If you haven't slept with him yet, maybe he just likes the idea of a woman being interested in him--an ego trip. Stop selling yourself short. Wait for a guy who is really interested and lets you know it.
Two dates and he's meeting your family? Was that his idea? This is what I'm thinking. You are pushing things too much and it's a turn off for this guy. I doubt he wants to meet your family, and he may even back out at the last minute.
I equate the lack of communication with lack of interest. I could see the texting slowing down some after actually meeting and getting to know someone but there still should be and a nice back and forth intiation of some sort of correspondence, even if its a quick "have a nice day". Lack of time or being tired is really no excuse. When it becomes too one sided then someone is probably rethinking things. Agree!! | |
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| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/24/2011 7:34:28 AM | don't initiate contact for now. go with the flow.
But don't get yourself flushed. Going with the flow is another way of avoiding getting flushed down.
Language for me is difficult, because I don't know how, when, and to what depth I have to explain the symbolic metaphors I use. Worse yet, each person is different for his or her capacity to process symbolic metaphors in the same way that I meant the metaphors to be processed.
This is actually the biggest regret of my life. I hate life, but would love it, if not for this one stupid dilemma that each person like me has to face when they like to express themselves with symbolic metaphors. | |
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| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/25/2011 3:30:02 AM | | ::Player Alert:: It's a simple tactic. Act as though you're not that interested to make the other person more interested in you. This usually leads to irrational actions. I see that you're going to allow this person to meet your family after only 2 dates and speaking on the phone just once. Sounds like a setup for disaster to me. I'm a positive person, but I just figured I'd warn you. This guy obviously likes to play games so he's going to play all his cards right, get you in the sack and then leave. I mean completely disappear. I'm sure you already know this and that's your real concern and I just confirmed it. Good Luck | |
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| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/25/2011 5:51:36 AM | You have anxiety and it's a crush and it's fun and horrible at the same time.
I don't usually look at profiles and I try to answer the question as per generalities so that the question and answer can be useful to someone else, but this problem you have is so personality specific to you, that I had to look.
I also try not to be mean, but I assumed by your post that you were about ten years younger than you actually are. Immaturity often equals inexperience. Maybe you have been isolated from dating, or, well I don't know what maybes have caused this, but you are going to have to get experience and maturity fast for your baby's sake.
Texting does not equal relating. It does hel things along, but once you are talking on the phone or meeting, it does not have as important a place anymore. Let the real relating take place, use texting as appropriate, not as a primary form of communication.
All that said, there's something weird going on and you, him and your family need some firmer boundaries. Even a good man and a good woman, perfect for each other can screw things up with bad timing. Get to know him a little better, a few more dates, all in different settings, if possible. Maybe introduce him to a friend or two and meet one or two of his friends. | |
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114M3
| | Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 24 | |
| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/25/2011 6:14:40 AM | just wanted to add to what others pointed out, from most of my personal experience, usually if a guy is into you -- you will not be left hangnig wondering about it. ...... They WILL make sure you know about it and also want to know how YOU feel about them.
I agree with the others that this may perhaps be one sided. ... Perhaps you are moving too fast ahead of yourself OP. | |
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| Is he into me!!
Posted: 9/25/2011 6:20:17 AM | Stop texting so much. You are in what is called a texting fantasy relationship. And it is mind boggling that people think they are liked, cared about and in a relationship or the beginning of one with all this non person to person face to face communication.
He might be texting 100 other people. Get off the phone, speak in person. There is no damn chemistry in texting, e mails, and phone calls.
The only thing I see here in common is too much cell phone drama. What is too good to be true, who can type a message faster than the other?
Also, get that little baby's photos off the Internet. And who meets family for date #2? I looked at your age, I would have thought you were acting 19 years old on here and you are in your 30's?? You should know better.....seriously.... | |
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