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 nascartommy60
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 1
dating a single dad with custody of his kidsPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I am new to this dating thing on the internet and find that I may be too blunt in my description or that I have kids that live with me fulltime and that it may be a turn off for women. whats up with this???? do women mind this????
 Lookingforsalmon
Joined: 8/7/2011
Msg: 2
dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 9/21/2011 6:08:00 AM
The same has been asked in reverse if men mind dating women with kids. I am sure that there are men and women who would not date someone with kids, but I am also sure that there are many who would. Having kids does not automatically alienate you from dating.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 3
dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 9/21/2011 6:38:00 AM
3 kids, 2 full-time jobs, and you state that your kids are first priority.

...and where is this lucky lady going to fit in?

Plus, you smoke and are single, so never married the mother(s) of all these kids you now have.

Another plus, your profile is rather self-serving vs. inviting.
 CarpeOmnia
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 4
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dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 9/21/2011 6:55:38 AM
If I'm not mistaken....in his post he lists being a full-time dad as his second job.
But, if I were to take a look at his profile, my first thought when reading that line about the kids being the first priority....is that being in 4th place in a man's life isn't very appealing in the long term.
 johnnylange
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 5
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dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 9/21/2011 9:28:01 AM
your profile doesn't say anything about you. It just rants about you having care of kids and anyone who dates you must accept the conditions you're in.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 6
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dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 9/21/2011 10:53:05 AM
If your kids always come first, then how are you ever going to teach them how to have a succesful relationship with a spouse? How will they ever learn how to deal with dating and ramping up to a serious relationship?

Even married couples put thier relationship to one another first...least the succesful ones do. if Mom n Dad are not well looked after (getting thier adult-emotional needs met) what good is that for the kids?
 OzzGirl22
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 7
dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 9/21/2011 1:45:03 PM
My first impression of your profile is all you saying: 'my kids come first and if you do not like it, move on'. You are going to find it very difficult to attract anyone with that.

For most rational people it is a given that your children come first so you do not need to scream that out in your profile. I think the issue lies more in your attitude then the fact that you have custody of your two children.

You do not talk much about yourself or what you are looking for in a mate. Perhaps you should post in Profile Reviews.
 BigRick391
Joined: 8/11/2009
Msg: 8
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dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 9/23/2011 7:00:02 AM
I amalso a single father that has full custody of my son,granted he is my life right now but my son us at the age hes ding more things on his own,and i dont understand why noone will chat with me i have went on a few dates but thats it we are friends nothing else.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 9
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dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 9/23/2011 8:10:29 AM
I think you would be a great match for another single parent. People that are living similar lives have the most in common.
My BF's children are with us part time but he is a very involved wonderful father. My kids are here 24/7 and we make it work. I think our blended family as crazy as it is, has managed to overcome the usual obstacles. Patience, love and laughing so hard every day that you practically pee yourself is very important.
 JediMountainMama
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 10
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dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 9/23/2011 8:22:43 AM
Single dads with custody is more what Im looking for as a single mom.. dont change! IF they dont like you for who you are and your fatherly role, they arent right for you, ;)
 CarKam1
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 11
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dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 9/23/2011 8:42:44 AM
I agree with carolann0308, this is what I envision when I am looking for my possible "mate".

I put on my profile that I prefer men with children (but not necessary). I guess it just depends on what you are looking for.
 BigRick391
Joined: 8/11/2009
Msg: 12
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dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 9/23/2011 9:07:42 AM
im not gonna change for anyone i am me and thats it,me and my son are a package deal.
 scottman76
Joined: 7/24/2011
Msg: 13
dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 9/23/2011 8:04:43 PM
I understand what your sayin. BUT, I too am a single dad with a son and daughter... change is something that we all have to do. Its called growing up. If we live the same way we always have and dont look to change. We will never be happy. if we are not happy... the kids will not be eather. Thats how kids become TOP SHELF!
Dude dont be stubern.
 BigRick391
Joined: 8/11/2009
Msg: 14
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dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 9/23/2011 8:12:36 PM
im not saying it in a bad way change is always happening,what i should have said that my son and i are still gonna do the things we do
 trish1973
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 15
dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 9/27/2011 7:36:14 AM
I think its awesome that you put your kids as first priority as so do most parents. However, a relationship with a good lady should also take top priority. I too am a single parent and sometimes I understand the difficulties of raising children, working and dating. If finding a partner is important to you, then you have to make sure that you too make time for a relationship to flourish. Relationships don't just happen, it takes hard work from both parties, unfortunately ; men sometimes stop trying and take a woman for granted as if she will always be there. Woman who are worth dating and have a high sense of self-esteem won't put up with being a the bottom of the list. I do speak from experience, a man who won't make an effort to keep me happy or at a top priority, not first priority, just top priority is not someone I will be with long. Just saying.
 punkin76
Joined: 3/28/2011
Msg: 16
dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 9/27/2011 1:02:42 PM
I am a single mom,and I know I need some adult time after hanging out with my child all day. A kid wants thier parents attention and focus on them 100% of time ,24/7 .When they become older then they prefer there peers.Therefore parents need to make proper time for thier emotional needs to be functional .
 BigRick391
Joined: 8/11/2009
Msg: 17
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dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 9/28/2011 6:16:01 PM
when i find someone she will be my #1 cuz i know my son is at that age to spend time with his friends and his g/f...but like we all said its hard to date when you have kids.
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 18
dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 9/28/2011 7:32:27 PM

Relationships don't just happen, it takes hard work from both parties, unfortunately ; men sometimes stop trying and take a woman for granted as if she will always be there. Woman who are worth dating and have a high sense of self-esteem won't put up with being a the bottom of the list. I do speak from experience, a man who won't make an effort to keep me happy or at a top priority, not first priority, just top priority is not someone I will be with long. Just saying.


Trish....one could not agree more....and just like some woman seem to have this sense of entitlement that they can take the guy for granted....or assume because she is granting a few activities between the sheets the guy has nothing better to do than wait for her beck and call.

Then they sit back and complain about the issue is the guy who is to shallow to deal with the fact she has children....both individuals have to put in the effort to make a relationship work....and either party can simply say...I am not willing to be a second class citizen if they so choose,....it goes both ways.
 forumjunkie942
Joined: 8/15/2011
Msg: 19
dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 9/29/2011 8:51:46 AM
In the western world, it's very very difficult for a father to get full custody of his children unless the mom literally walked out or has some something so criminal, that no judge wants that to blow back in his face later if she drowns her kids in a river.

So in terms of that, that you might have a crazy ex, sure, some single women might consider that and hold that against you.

To me, it still comes down to good looks and money. If you've got a lot of both in women's eyes, IMHO, most women won't care one lick what you write in your profile.

Rich and hot guy says "My kids come first!" - Oh, look what a dedicated daddy, look how much he's probably been hurt. He's been waiting for the right girl to unlock that old pain in his heart!

Average looking guy making average money says "My kids come first!" - Screw you. You can't tell me what to do! I'm a modern woman. I'm fiercely independent. You can't get away with talking that way to women and expect anything! Why are you complaining so much? Go away. Wait, are you a lawyer? Can you give me free legal advice? Oh, wait, you aren't? Then screw you.

Rich and hot - Look at how focused he is at raising those kids! God, he loves those kids to death!

Average looking and makes average money - He's got no time for me. Loser.

I wish I was kidding or was wrong. But sadly look at the world around you and ask yourslelf how far off the mark I am.
 leanne144
Joined: 9/4/2011
Msg: 20
dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 9/29/2011 2:59:31 PM
personally i wouldnt date anyone who had kids and didnt put them first. my kids come before ANYTHING and if that means im single for the rest of my life then thats fine by me. i think you should be really proud that you have your priorities in the right order, and i dont think it would hinder your chances any.

hope you find that lucky lady :)
 CarKam1
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 21
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dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 9/29/2011 5:03:19 PM

Rich and hot guy says "My kids come first!" - Oh, look what a dedicated daddy, look how much he's probably been hurt. He's been waiting for the right girl to unlock that old pain in his heart!

Average looking guy making average money says "My kids come first!" - Screw you. You can't tell me what to do! I'm a modern woman. I'm fiercely independent. You can't get away with talking that way to women and expect anything! Why are you complaining so much? Go away. Wait, are you a lawyer? Can you give me free legal advice? Oh, wait, you aren't? Then screw you.

Rich and hot - Look at how focused he is at raising those kids! God, he loves those kids to death!

Average looking and makes average money - He's got no time for me. Loser.

I wish I was kidding or was wrong. But sadly look at the world around you and ask yourslelf how far off the mark I am.


Really? Really really?

I just started dating a man off of pof that has his 2.5 year old kid every second week, has a great job in the military but is busy paying down his bills so all of our dates are spent at parks and walking the streets or similar that doesn't cost a lot of money. We go Dutch on everything and he was even offended when I tried to pay for his drink. He's of average build and you will not find him on the cover of Men's magazine but I am more than happy with him, I think his Son is adorable and his arms feel just right for me. I don't care if he's taking me to dinner or just sitting in the park..anywhere is fine with me just as long as we're together.

There are decent Woman and Men left and believe it or not you can even find some on pof.
 tommysmama
Joined: 7/9/2010
Msg: 22
dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 10/7/2011 12:38:13 PM
hey im going to agree with you on that. i am a single mom and am stuck in my ways. my son is all i got and thats were he stays. top of the list. i dont want a guy telling me what im doing or have done wrong. take me as i am please
 leopardrick
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 23
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dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 10/7/2011 12:52:06 PM
I have learned from expierience that women expect us to accept their children but most do not want anything to do with ours.. Fact.. I have full custody of my 7 year old daughter and that alone should tell you I am a better man than most..
 ForumFlashLight
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 24
dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 10/11/2011 1:20:04 PM
Hm.

You may not have thought about logistics.

Are you planning to have sex with your girlfriend in the house where your children are sleeping?

Do you have a babysitter available?

Can you sleep over at her house occasionally?

Basically, women will mind dating someone who can never have sex, never makes time to be with her alone, and demands that she have sex in his house with all of his children a breath away. Just icky. Yes, we all realize we used to have sex with our spouses in the same house with our children a breath away, but that is mighty different.

If you have the help of grandparents and can get a night out by yourself once a week, you have a chance.

If you refuse to get care for your children and insist they come along on dates, you likely don't have a chance. Same position single moms are in, when they have no help from the dads or other family and have the kids 24/7.

Other than that, most of us who have children, love children, and are willing to be flexible and compassionate about dating another parent.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 25
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dating a single dad with custody of his kids
Posted: 10/11/2011 1:50:37 PM
I wouldn't date a guy that has minor kids, but I'm sure a lot of gals would. I think you're bigger problem is that your profile is screaming intimate encounter... not dating.
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