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 Alex0983
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 1
what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheatedPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
This is what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated and dumped me by text message after 4.5 years of being together. Its crude but to the point. We haven't spoken since.

I'm writing to you because i don't have the strength to talk to you.

I'm numb right now and can't stop crying. I listened to what (name) had to say about you, but i thought it was likely a lie. I told you what i did cause i was upset about how you broke up with me in such a cold manner (text message) after 5 years of being loyal and faithful to you. But you indeed did cheat on me. You actually went ahead and ****** another person while leaving me at home waiting for you. I feel so upset, words cannot describe the mental anguish im feeling over how little you valued me. It actually makes me sick to my stomach.

How is it that you can live with yourself? You told me and made me feel like i was the one and only love in your life and yet you went behind my back and completely disowned everything we had. I feel used, cheapened and so hurt by you and how little respect you had for me. Why did you do this to me? How was it in your mind okay to lead me on and not tell me the truth? I begged you for the truth, and you lied right to my face and told me i had insecurity issues and you told me you were not like this. You ****** with my head!!!
What hurts me the most is your hypocrisy in the matter. You had someone else's **** in you (ex girlfriend's name), you ******, kissed and got intimate with other men.. and you enjoyed it. Yet you carried on life with me like nothing ever happened... How on earth did i deserve for you to treat me like this? are you just a *****? I trusted you and when i did doubt you, you went to great lengths to prove me wrong and lied again right to my face. You lied to me everyday (ex girlfriend's name), you hid the truth. You gave me false hope. I did so many things for you.. Even recently i helped you make your life happier, i stuck by your side when you were alone and felt like you needed to get sound advice on work, finances etc, i helped you fix up your place, I made you a collage with inspiring words to show you i love you. We even shared a beautiful day together at PlayLand recently. I thought we clicked... I made you a ******* paint easel with my own sweat and blood to show you i loved you only to find out now that you had a boyfriend in mexico and was also ******** (name).. It was all a lie and you knew it... You really did i think i was an idiot. Cause no person in their right mind would do this if they had a conscience and respect.
Did you need a thrill? Did you just feel the need to hurt me? Did you need a bigger ****? why (ex girlfriend's name)? Its completely pathetic what you did. I was clear from the start that if you wanted to be with someone else than simply breakup with me. But you didn't, you ignored my wishes. Your so selfish it baffles me.. How could you be my girlfriend and justify sleeping with other people and yet continue blaming me for our relationship problems. You were the problem (ex girlfriend's name), you changed and did the single most ****** up thing you can do to someone, and that someone was me :(

I don't forgive you and you don't deserve me.
What you did, you can't take that back and no apology will suffice. Your a bad person. I hope your flings were worth it cause you just lost your best friend.
Your dirty and without a conscience and i hate you for that.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 2
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what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/22/2011 4:02:04 PM
I would not have wrote her shit.

She just gets to see how bad she hurt you.
It's like a trophy.

From now on- no letter writing and no contact.

She does not give a shit because if she did-
she would have never cheated.

Now go on with your life knowing you get
to meet a wonderful woman and know this-
she IS who she is and will always be.

Good luck.
 Alex0983
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 3
what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/22/2011 4:04:40 PM
Thanks, i wrote it the day i found out. It's been a while now and I'm over it. I Just thought i'd post it and share what i went through. Sometimes you think you know someone, but you don't.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 4
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what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/22/2011 4:07:55 PM
Oh I think we all have experienced
thinking we know someone and finding
out we knew nothing at all.

Kind of sad.

Sucks when you give your all and the
other is faking it but again- it is no reflection
on you.

It's thier lack of integrity, character and honor.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 5
what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/22/2011 4:13:18 PM
The best revenge is being happy.

I see you are already on a dating site looking for a relationship.
Have you gotten this out of your system?
Are you really ready for another relationship?
Do you understand why this relationship failed?

When my marriage ended, I knew it was his fault.
But now that I look back
I see how I contributed to it falling apart.
I was half to blame.

Can you accept your half?
Or are you still blaming her for the entire thing?
Think about that.
Are you really ready?
 grantfl80
Joined: 7/21/2011
Msg: 6
what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/22/2011 4:29:01 PM
Cheaters and adulterers/adulteresses can kiss my ass and die a slow and painful death.

G
 Alex0983
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 7
what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/22/2011 4:33:42 PM
Yeah i thought about it and no i don't believe there's any justification for doing that to anyone. Cheating is not a mistake, its an action that clearly shows what your partner feels about you. I'm actually glad it happened cause it helped me move on faster knowing she didn't have my best interest at heart. She was selfish and a coward and nothing can justify her actions. She could of just left instead of lying and leading me on. I know there are better people out there and what she did will only hinder her future, not mine. Its just painful when you find out through a third party that you've been played for a long time by someone you loved.
 GypsyEyes50
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 8
what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/22/2011 4:53:45 PM
OP...most of us have WANTED to write that letter...if not for cheating, for something else. You sent it, it's done, and no sense looking back. But, I'd say to you that ~should you find yourself in the unfortunate position of wanting to write a similar msg to a woman who has wronged you, in the future....DON'T do it.

What I do is I write drafts, and keep them...but don't sent them. It releases some of the emotional turmoil. The problem w/ sending them is as Curly explained: if a woman has it in her to treat you so shabby, then she doesn't give a shit what you think, and you're serving your pain up to her on a platter.....sadly, people who have it in them to treat others like crap often also derive sick satisfaction from knowing they caused pain.

I hope this chick is someone you've written off totally, and with whom not only do you have NO contact at all, but wouldn't even think of it.

Stay the course. Take comfort in knowing people DO get what's coming to them, eventually, and so will she. You, on the other hand, can look forward to an upgrade in companionship!
 Melannie1
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 9
what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/22/2011 5:59:21 PM
Hi Alex 0983! Thankyou for sharing your experience.... unfortunately some people do not realise what they have until it is gone... I wish you all the best in obtaining a decent future partner... Thankyou.. Melannie1.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 10
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what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/22/2011 7:44:46 PM

I made you a collage


Alex, print out this letter and keep it. Because one day when you are older and with the right woman that loves you and treats you like gold, you will laugh. I kept all my old journals from way back when and I laugh and tear up at times when I read them.
They keep you grounded.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 11
what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/22/2011 9:53:58 PM
OP - when woman cheats on you ... truly ...

she does not have love for you or care for your feelings in the least...


so writing her pouring your heart out to her will only harden her against even more than it already is.


she will respect you even less.


she will likely even laugh at what a ""loser"" you are in her eyes...
 Alex0983
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 12
what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/22/2011 10:28:34 PM
No i disagree, i didn't write the letter for her, i wrote for me.
I sent it to her though, because i wanted her to think about how stupid she was and how she royally messed things up for any future together. I'm a pretty understanding guy and understand how sometimes we make mistakes. However, i wanted to be clear that this time, its over.

She really didn't have many friends she could count on aside from me and counted on me quite a bit for being there for her all the time. She's dumped me twice before when her life was getting better and shortly after, she would beg for me to get back with her.. but this time I wanted to be clear that her actions spoke louder than words and that i didn't want to have anything to do with her anymore.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 13
what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/22/2011 10:54:29 PM

No i disagree, i didn't write the letter for her, i wrote for me.
I sent it to her though, because i wanted her to think about how stupid she was and how she royally messed things up for any future together. I'm a pretty understanding guy and understand how sometimes we make mistakes. However, i wanted to be clear that this time, its over.


hmmmm


well....seems to be a bit of duality here.


sorry to hear about that jezebel -


i think you should take some time to yourself to learn and understand female behavior in a relationship..

and learn how to set dating boundaries for yourself...
 leanco
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 14
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what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/23/2011 2:29:13 AM

She's dumped me twice before when her life was getting better and shortly after, she would beg for me to get back with her.

This little bit of information significantly changes everything. I think you should be at least a lot more mad at yourself for the way things have turned out.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, are you kidding me???

What you've got to realize is that when you take someone back after they had dumped you, basically, you're telling them that you are willing to forgive and forget whatever hurtful things they might have done (and will continue to do) to you. Twice she had dumped you, and twice you took her back. It took her dumping you for the third time before you said enough was enough. Do you not at least see why you're partly responsible for her bad behaviors? I agree that there is no excuse for cheating and I am not in any way condone what she had done, but try to understand that you've made mistakes too.

Never let someone break up with you more than once. For if somebody is willing to leave you once, they will likely leave you again - soon enough. That is a hard lesson to learn. Next time, set your boundaries early and if someone walks out on you, close that door tightly and don't look back. Teach people how to respect you and what the consequences of their actions will be. You will save yourself a lot of heartache and pain, and build much better relationships to boot.
 MidnightUniverse
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 15
 AxMurderer
Joined: 5/30/2011
Msg: 16
what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/23/2011 4:18:53 AM
I'm sorry you are so hurt, Alex. I hope it gets better soon.

Congratulations on getting lucky that you found out she was a cheat. Now you can concentrate on making your life better while your heart repairs. Take this time to take care of yourself and make your situation better so that when you are healed enough to date again, you can find a woman who is even better than the one you "thought" she was before you found out about her affair.

Good luck!
 --Zen--
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 17
what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/23/2011 10:11:18 AM
Oh ... much too nice. Did it make YOU feel better?
I did much, much worse. I bet she is a wreck now...
 Alex0983
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 18
what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/23/2011 2:27:00 PM
They say moving on is the best revenge. So I've done just that. She's tried calling me about a handful of times but I'm sticking to the NC rule indefinitely and eventually she will get the message.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 19
what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/23/2011 2:31:52 PM

They say moving on is the best revenge.


no, being happier in your life after them and with the next person you date needs to be hotter...

that way you can ""SHOW"" them what they are really missing and she can come back on her knees.


right.



just live your life and be happy...

that is for you and future mates


not her.
 unclezeus
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 20
what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/23/2011 2:54:12 PM
Geez Alex, I really hope you didn't send that letter yet.
All you did was make yourself out to be a whiny little girl. Plus you just gave a woman, who doesn't give a damn about you, all the power.
If she got that letter , its only going to make her smile, and feel glad she didn't stay.
If you really needed to send a note expressing your inner feelings , it should have been a short "F you. Signed: Alex". Thats all .
 unclezeus
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 21
what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/23/2011 2:56:52 PM

Cheaters and adulterers/adulteresses can kiss my ass and die a slow and painful death.


No. Thats rediculous.
There is always a reason for someone to cheat, and its usually a good one.
 Alex0983
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 22
what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/23/2011 3:11:43 PM
I certainly did send it and don't care whatsoever what she thinks of it.
She's the sensitive type, and i know that letter hit some nerves. I've had other girlfriends over the years do me wrong and i stood by and did nothing and was really sad for a long time. This time, i wasn't going to sit there and just give her a slap on the wrist and tell her its okay. I had to stand up for myself and show her in words that i was not going to take this lightly and that i was not okay with it.

For me, writing this letter and sending it to her was part of my healing process. Everyone's got their own way of dealing with things. Some smash their ex's car, others try to make their ex's life a living hell and others do nothing and move on. I understood now from my own experiences, that when you do nothing, you end up with baggage and I wasn't going to let this ruin my life. So my revenge was to point out her flaws, Make her see what kind of person she was and than clearly point out that she doesn't deserve another chance.

I have no regrets sending it to her for better or worse.
 Alex0983
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 23
what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/23/2011 3:14:47 PM
unclezeus
you said "There is always a reason for someone to cheat, and its usually a good one."

I completely disagree and think your WRONG!

There's really no good reason to cheat.. EVER! If your not happy in a relationship and your not in an abusive one, simply breakup with your former lover. Than get with the person your interested in.

There's absolutely no reason to lead people on with the notion your exclusive when your not. Its selfish and cruel to cheat and not justifiable in any way, shape or form. People who do cheat are LOSERS and don't deserve to be loved.

No one forced her to open her legs up for the general public's enjoyment. It was her very own selfishness that gave her reason to do it. End of story.
 AxMurderer
Joined: 5/30/2011
Msg: 24
what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/24/2011 6:14:15 AM
"Cheaters and adulterers/adulteresses can kiss my ass and die a slow and painful death.
No. Thats rediculous.
There is always a reason for someone to cheat, and its usually a good one."

Wow Unclezeus...this is so off-base. What circumstances could possibly occur that would be a good reason for cheating (except revenge cheating)?

I'd say that less than 10% of all cheating is justified. And that number is seriously probably way too high.
 t580
Joined: 9/3/2011
Msg: 25
what i wrote my ex girlfriend after i found out she cheated
Posted: 9/24/2011 7:34:24 AM
theres one way to look at it... yes we get hurt by others actions its only human to react how we do.. as the saying goes..we dont know what we got until it,s gone.. bullshit.. i say we dont know what were missing until it arrives.. so chin up dude and let this woman get whats comin to her one day it will, what goes around comes around for sure i believe that, ..but just remember this ,,,life goes on.
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