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 misskylieann
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 1
child support/adoptionPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
i am in canada, just have a few questions.
where/how would i go about getting child support for my daughters bio father.
and when my daughter is older, how would we go about adoption, [my fiance wants to adopt my daughter,hes been there since before she was born] the bio dad wants nothing to do with it. also we are on assistance / welfare, if i dont try and get child support can they cut us off?
thanks
 JediMountainMama
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 2
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History
child support/adoption
Posted: 9/25/2011 9:38:20 AM
just go to social services for help or legal services. Beware of a lot of posters who will attack you for being on assistance. Just a heads up about posting here. :) Good luck
 misskylieann
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 3
child support/adoption
Posted: 9/25/2011 9:41:10 AM
thanks. and im only on welfare because i didnt get enought hours to go on mst leave, and my fiance does not get enought hours at work to cover us, otherwise we would not. but i agree, people on here seem to think the worst of people who need some extra help.
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 4
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child support/adoption
Posted: 9/25/2011 10:29:07 AM
where I am from... when you apply for welfare.... they open a child support services case and go after the father for support... then the support goes to the welfare department and they then pass the funds to the mother....

if your current boyfriend adopts your child.... then her bio dad is no longer responsible for support.... as your current boyfriend is accepting all legal and financial responsibility for your child when the adoption is finalized.....
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 5
child support/adoption
Posted: 9/25/2011 10:46:50 AM
thanks. and im only on welfare because i didnt get enought hours to go on mst leave, and my fiance does not get enought hours at work to cover us, otherwise we would not. but i agree, people on here seem to think the worst of people who need some extra help
Being on welfare is the least of your problems. You are just 20 years old and already have one kid. Now you seem to be "engaged" to another guy. Yet you just opened a profile here on pof two weeks ago which is very active and where you list yourself as "single" with no mention anywhere of have a fiancee. Yea me think your issues run much deeper that being a 20 year old healthy woman on welfare.

As for you other issue of child support. You should first get a paternity test to make sure you actually know who the father of this child is. Then you need to go to court and get a support order. Hopefully he has an actual job and they can make him support his child.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 6
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child support/adoption
Posted: 9/25/2011 12:12:47 PM
I would immediately contact the department of social services in your area. In NH where I live child support is gone after by the state automatically if a woman asks for public assistance.
Forget the whole 'adoption' thing, your Ex would need to relinquish all rights and your new BF would be liable for child support once he adopts your daughter. Big mistake for two people so young.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 7
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child support/adoption
Posted: 9/25/2011 2:15:23 PM
I'm in Chiccago, Il, & I went to the states attorneys office. They provide free attorneys only for child support & enforcement. Any other issues, such as visitation /adoption, you have pay for own lawyer. As a requirement here for receiving welfare benefits, parents are requred to give information about the non custodial parent. If you refuse to provide that info they will stop the benefits. The states attorney gets an order of withholding, & the money comes right out of his paycheck. You should contact your case worker at the welfare office, I'm surprised she hasn't asked you to already provide that info. As far as adoption, you may need to hire an attorney. Is he going to marry you? I hope you aren't going to do this adoption without marriage. That would be so wrong. The attorney will probably publish to the biological father in the newspapers if you don't have his address or know his whereabouts. If you do, he would have to sign over his rights. If he doesn't want to do this, you can petition him to court. He probably won't show up, so his rights will be terminated through default. You really should call an attorney in your area, some will give you a free consultation over the phone, & don't allow the boyfriend to adopt her if he isn't going to marry you, I'm very disurbed that you didn't mention marriage in your post.
 MzTy83
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 8
child support/adoption
Posted: 9/25/2011 8:20:36 PM
If you are going to seek child support you will need to contact a lawyer. Do that as soon as possible. If the order is passed they can take the order back to the date she was born. If you do decide to have your fiance adopt her then the child support order will be voided and your fiance will have that responsibility fully.
 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 9
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child support/adoption
Posted: 9/25/2011 10:25:20 PM
Usually in Canada, if a single mother applies for welfare, she is obligated to sign permission forms for the gov't to go after the bio father for cs and the case becomes enrolled in the family maintenance enforcement program (I had a friend several years ago who went through this). I'm pretty sure that when my friend finally did receive cs money it was deducted from her welfare check anyway (I'll have to check with her as this was about 5 years ago). The idea being, that the bio parents of the child should be responsible for the financial aspects of raising the child and not the state.

Does your fiance know you're on a dating site looking for "friends"? It's one thing to need a hand up, it's another to expect a hand out. Most people can understand if people need welfare because of a life circumstance, however, it is shameful to just sit back and do nothing to CHANGE the circumstances that got you to where you are. You're 20 years old and have a kid. The bio dad wants nothing to do with the child and you're engaged to another man who does want to help raise your child but you are on a dating site. The man you are engaged to doesn't have a job, and apparently neither do you, and you see nothing wrong with this picture?

Take a note: even if you get a cs order it doesn't mean you'll actually RECEIVE any child support. I have an order for my child (who is almost 11 years old) and haven't received money in years (the gov't told me a few years back they weren't even going to pursue it on my behalf anymore because it wasn't worth the effort put in to pursue my child's father for the cs owed -- which at this point is about 10K). You can't force a man to be a dad. What you CAN do is become a good mother and a good role model for your child. That means choosing to change the circumstances you're in. Go back to school and/or get a job so YOU can support your child instead of relying on the last guy and the next guy and the next guy and the government to do it because ultimately, YOU are the one who chose to have that child, so YOU are the one who needs to provide for it.
 kcomfort0001
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 10
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child support/adoption
Posted: 9/25/2011 10:46:31 PM
If the father has never been around nor does he want it, why even go after the child support you've already got someone in your life talking about adopting a child? Why not just push that aspect of it forward, and then if the bio father refuses go the other route.
 misskylieann
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 11
child support/adoption
Posted: 9/26/2011 4:08:26 AM
first off, i am only on this site for the forums since i had no idea what the site was till a friend of mine told mw to join it, so i did wanting to know whjat it was., and i am listed as in a relationship. if you guys are too stupid to know when you view someones profile it will not tell you what it says you are listed as. and i would like to be getting the backpay of the child support the father owes me. and another thing a dna test has ALREADY been done and he IS in fact the father. and you have to be married for at least 2 years i bvelieve for my fiance to adopt him, so in the meantime i would like to be getting support from her bio father.and what does my age have to do with this? yes i am 20 and have a baby.. so what? you people obviously just come on here just to trash people. which us sad if you ask me.
 UglyFroggieCritter
Joined: 8/21/2010
Msg: 12
child support/adoption
Posted: 9/26/2011 4:40:27 AM
Nah, most of us come here for the naked hula dances on the Lido Deck; if you get there early, you'll get a free humungous Ceasar.

OT

See a lawyer. Law differ from state to state, province to provice and country to country.

And it's not nice of you to be saying


if you guys ar too stupid to know ....


You came here looking for advice, we don't know you from Eve.

I suggest you take it with a grain of salt and through the rest away other than trying to cause a flame war.

Take care of your baby, talk to the baby daddy and the emotional daddy and then sit with a lawyer.

Good luck.
 Simply_Red_79
Joined: 7/25/2011
Msg: 13
child support/adoption
Posted: 9/26/2011 5:57:09 AM
how child support and assistance works varies province to province, your best bet would be to ask your worker how it works according to where in canada you life. For myself, in New Brunswick, my worker opted for me not to go for support because the father was extremely abusive. by pursuing support it could have entitled a man who tried quite literally to murder me when i was 7 mos pregnant, to visitations with my son. In most situations i think a worker would think it was great that your finacee cares about and loves your daughter enough to want to adopt her and be her dad, their bigger concern might by why he is not working. I myself am only on assistance because of being a single parent with day shift positions condusive to properly raising children being limited in availability in the area where i live, i do babysitt other people's children and have some part time work to bring in the extra income to make ends meet. I am not trying to make assumptions about your situation but perhaps your worker could put one, the other, or both of you through some type of employment training programs to help increase your employablity. I dont believe they can cut you off because you arn't receiving child support.
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 14
child support/adoption
Posted: 9/26/2011 3:23:45 PM
My late Husband adopted my eldest child, so if i can ever be of any assistance, feel free to PM me.

First off, you have to be married, and the spouse has to be willing to accept rights AND responsiblities of being a legal guardian. Which means he has a right to joint custody/visitation if you ever split. He has the obligation to contribute to supporting the child. He has a right to make decisions regarding the childs medical care, health, & all around general well-being, so you have to trust & be sure that the man will be a good parent.

If your boyfriend is serious about this, he needs to marry you as his first step.

It is a very big decision for a man, so be sure he is up to the task. it is not something to go into lightly.


You also have to notify the bio-father, and he has to be informed of the decision, and he has to decide if he wants to sign off his parentage.

You WILL lose all rights to financial assistance from bio-dad.

You need to see a family law attorney. If the bio-dad is amenable to the adoption, it will go pretty smoothly. Basically your attorney contacts him, he is informed of the decision,he signs off rights, a judge finalizes it and it is done.

If the bio-dad is not amenable, or not easily found, it will be harder though.
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 15
child support/adoption
Posted: 9/26/2011 3:27:15 PM
If you are on welfare, i do not know if they would allow an adoption, the whole reason welfare goes after fathers for support is to attempt to recoup expenses paid out by the government & taxpayers.

I suggest getting married, one or both of you find employment and bring in a stable income, get a house or apartment, and then go for the adoption.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 16
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child support/adoption
Posted: 9/26/2011 3:36:09 PM
Sorry to say OP, but:


and i am listed as in a relationship. if you guys are too stupid to know when you view someones profile


As of 6:30 pm EST you still have single on your profile and no mention of being in a relationship...and it does look like you're looking for someone...nope, sorry...we're not the stupid ones.

Well, yea gotta agree with that other poster that said you've more issues...20 with a 5 month old kid and a profile that looks like your looking and you say you've a fiance in your OPost...way too confusing for me to sort out...I'd have to say...you need to improve your lot in life instead of looking for someone else to do it for you...go back to school and get some further education....look for full-time employment.

And BTW...here in the states if someone adopts...it become his/her financial obligation.. the sperm donor is then off the hook.
 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 17
child support/adoption
Posted: 9/26/2011 7:10:11 PM
I looked and it said "single" too....

Here in Alberta, it starts with who is mentioned as the father on the birth certificate. From there (like the other posters mentioned), it then goes to maintenance enforcement where depending on how difficult it is to find the father, you may see money or you may not.

Child support payments are indeed removed from your welfare cheque in Canada.

I do not think you have the money to pay for a lawyer and legal assistance is still not free - you either pay up front or in the future. And from the sounds of it, your baby-daddy will most likely put up a legal fight too.

This sounds to me like a hairbrained idea cooked up between you and your fiancee to get more money for the TWO of you.....
 kcomfort0001
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 18
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child support/adoption
Posted: 9/26/2011 9:09:46 PM
No, I think people are giving you honest opinions and you're taking them personal.

Go ahead and get support if you want, but once a father starts paying support he can make your life miserable and he could end up hindering the adoption process at that point.. just something to consider.
 FlyyinSolo87
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 19
child support/adoption
Posted: 9/26/2011 9:50:49 PM

and i would like to be getting the backpay of the child support the father owes me.


Wow with some of the people posting, I'm shocked you missed this.

First off, it's not money he owes you, it's money he owes you're child.

Second, I remember from a while back a certain TV show judge name Judge Mathis, that tried to tell the mothers that was they should have done with that child support is put it in an account to save for college.

So let me say this: It's not Mommy Support.
It's not Party Time Support
It's not College Fund Support

IT'S CHILD SUPPORT! Meaning the money should be going to support the child by purchasing clothes, shoes, bedding, food, and other necessities FOR THE CHILD. Why the hell do so many mother's think that the child support is their money? It's not. It's the child's.
 Ice_Queen_211
Joined: 11/27/2010
Msg: 20
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child support/adoption
Posted: 9/26/2011 10:07:56 PM
misskylieann:


first off, i am only on this site for the forums since i had no idea what the site was till a friend of mine told mw to join it, so i did wanting to know whjat it was.


You had "no idea" what this site was all about but you signed up anyway? I find that hard to believe. I would imagine that your friend who told you about this site would have TOLD YOU that this is a DATING SITE. Of all of the various relationship/general/single parent forums on the internet, strange to me that you would sign up on a place you had no idea what it was, for the "forums."


and i am listed as in a relationship. if you guys are too stupid to know when you view someones profile it will not tell you what it says you are listed as.


Umm, actually we're not the stupid ones. Your profile, if you look, shows your marital status as "single"....and that you're seeking a relationship (intent). There is absolutely no mention of you having a fiance anywhere in your profile.

If your child is 5 months old now, why is it only now that you're wanting info on pursuing child support; why didn't you pursue this sooner?

Why did you have a DNA test done; were you not sure who the Daddy was?

Your age has a lot to do with things. You and your baby are currently living off of taxpayer's dollars so people have every right to speak up.
 Ice_Queen_211
Joined: 11/27/2010
Msg: 21
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child support/adoption
Posted: 9/26/2011 10:11:34 PM
misskylieann:


first off, i am only on this site for the forums since i had no idea what the site was till a friend of mine told mw to join it, so i did wanting to know whjat it was.


You had "no idea" what this site was all about but you signed up anyway? I find that hard to believe. I would imagine that your friend who told you about this site would have TOLD YOU that this is a DATING SITE. Of all of the various relationship/general/single parent forums on the internet, strange to me that you would sign up on a place you had no idea what it was, for the "forums."


and i am listed as in a relationship. if you guys are too stupid to know when you view someones profile it will not tell you what it says you are listed as.


Umm, actually we're not the stupid ones. Your profile, if you look, shows your marital status as "single"....and that you're seeking a relationship (intent). There is absolutely no mention of you having a fiance anywhere in your profile.

If your child is 5 months old now, why is it only now that you're wanting info on pursuing child support; why didn't you pursue this sooner?

Why did you have a DNA test done; were you not sure who the Daddy was?

Your age has a lot to do with things. You and your baby are currently living off of taxpayer's dollars so people have every right to speak up.

Very strange that you would turn to a Dating Site forum for answers to important questions like child support and adoption. Most people in these forums are in the U.S. and you're in Canada and things vary from country to country, state to state and province to province.
 JediMountainMama
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 22
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child support/adoption
Posted: 9/26/2011 11:35:56 PM
you people obviously just come on here just to trash people. which us sad if you ask me.
I told ya. :) Hang in there, sweety. People can be incredibly, unbelievably vicious on here. Forcing you to defend yourself. Like going on your profile to find something to attack you for....Just be the GODDESS OF IGNORINGYA. Do what you got to do, get help from free legal services if you can. Best of luck!
 dad2stay
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 23
child support/adoption
Posted: 9/27/2011 8:30:09 AM
20 years old, profiles says your seeking a man and he must have a pic to contact you and your pic is all about the breasts

Does your fiance know that your on a dating site looking for attractive male friends and your listed as single? (see that huge logo at the top Plenty of Fish FREE ONLINE DATING) it doesn't say friend finder

To everyone else, you do not pay her welfare none of you pay anything near enough to cover a welfare check so stop complaining, she worked and paid into the same tax pool as everyone else and when she needed it it was there to help her out

They are not YOUR taxes they are the governments and they will hand it out to anyone or thing that they feel needs it even you when you become ill, incapacitated or a burden on society
 Isis_feline
Joined: 10/4/2010
Msg: 24
child support/adoption
Posted: 9/27/2011 8:39:16 AM
Things are diff over here but I think the same rules apply.....
you get c/s it comes out of your benefits, when a man adopts he takes on all financial responsibilities to the child and the biological father is relieved of them.....

As suggested by many go get proper advice and see where you stand.....

I just looked on your profile too, if you are not looking for mails off interested guys make it CLEAR you have a partner, change your 'single' status to 'not single/not looking' mention in your profile that you are only here for the forums...and change the pic of your face and most of your chest for one slightly less revealing....Its a nice pic, you are a pretty girl with a nice smile but the first thing I, as a hetrosexual woman, saw was boobs! I cant imagine your partner being too thrilled with that profile should one of his single mates that may be on here say.....'hey....isnt this your fiance.........'

best of luck for the future x
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 25
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History
child support/adoption
Posted: 9/27/2011 9:52:49 AM
if you guys are too stupid to know when you view someones profile it will not tell you what it says you are listed as.

You're 20 years old and don't even understand basic birth control, so now your fellow taxpayers have to support you and your barely-out-of-his-teens boyfriend. Well done, both of you.

I wouldn't be pointing fingers and calling ANYONE stupid if I were in your shoes.
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