| | Need a reason?Page 1 of 1 | | If a girl is turning down date.....would a simple no suffice or would it be more respectful to provide a reason. Not because of schedule conflict, but because you are just not interested in the guy. | |
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| Need a reason?
Posted: 9/27/2011 2:37:42 PM | | A simple (but polite) no should suffice. He shouldn't take it personally. | |
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| Need a reason?
Posted: 9/27/2011 2:38:30 PM | I don't believe you have to tell him the reason why you turned him down, I don't believe in rubbing salt in the wound, I know if a woman turned me down I certainly don't want to know the reason, but then again I'm a confident guy and also realize not every one is going to like me or find me appealing.
Just turn him down politely and if he insists reply back with lets just leave it as is with all due respect.... I mean who wants to hear " sorry bud but you're a swamp donkey, your clothes are dirty, you stink, your teeth are well bad and your attitude blows dead bears" | |
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| Need a reason?
Posted: 9/27/2011 2:53:35 PM | OP - a simple no from a woman is desireable.
yet in my experience I have never heard ""NO"" from a woman when turning down a date.
its always been she has said anything and everything under the sun aside from saying ""YES""
that is "no" enough for me. | |
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| Need a reason?
Posted: 9/27/2011 3:14:51 PM | No thanks.
If they ask you can reply but expect most to use thats as an excuse to continue trying to change your mind. | |
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| Need a reason?
Posted: 9/27/2011 3:40:13 PM | I know if a woman turned me down I certainly don't want to know the reason
Agreed. A polite 'no' is appreciated, but I don't want to know exactly what you dislike about me. It might make me self-conscious, or annoy me because I think it's superficial, or any number of other things. "I'm flattered that you asked, but I'm going to say no, thanks" would be pretty much the ideal 'no' for me.
If they ask you can reply but expect most to use thats as an excuse to continue trying to change your mind
This is also true. That's the other reason I don't want an explanation. A 'no' is fine; I don't expect to be everyone's type. But I know if you told me you don't want a date with me because of something that I think isn't accurate (you think I have no sense of humour, or you suspect I don't have my own teeth, or whatever  ) there'd be a temptation to try and correct you, to say "no, that's not true, if you met me you'd see..." and no one wants that - not me, and certainly not you. I think I can resist that urge these days, but it wasn't always the case.
Keep it simple for everyone concerned. Polite 'no', then move on. | |
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| Need a reason?
Posted: 9/27/2011 3:41:03 PM |
A simple no is fine. :)
As a firm believer in politeness, I would vote for, "No, thank you" :-) | |
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| Need a reason?
Posted: 9/27/2011 4:00:12 PM | | ACH, No! Jost saye no. If ya drag on aboot ya haire, and ya schedule, and phases o' the moon, it just takes more time awee from me ability to move on to someone who WONT say no. | |
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| Need a reason?
Posted: 9/27/2011 4:18:31 PM | | That spelling was terrifyingly successful. | |
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| Need a reason?
Posted: 9/27/2011 4:47:12 PM | LOL!
ACH, No! Jost saye no. If ya drag on aboot ya haire, and ya schedule, and phases o' the moon, it just takes more time awee from me ability to move on to someone who WONT say no.
That's the best Ruth Westheimer impression I've ever (not) heard!
OP: Just a simple "No, thank you" would suffice. | |
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| Need a reason?
Posted: 9/27/2011 5:05:55 PM | Tell him you just realized you are gay.
Or just not respond at all <----- rude and effective. | |
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| Need a reason?
Posted: 9/27/2011 5:23:30 PM | | "I don't think we are compatible." That should work. A guy is already crestfallen getting turned down. No need to give a dissertation to him about why. That will just piss someone off more than likely. | |
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| Need a reason?
Posted: 9/27/2011 6:15:36 PM | A simple no is good enough, if she's some gal you approach and she turns you down.
If it's someone you've gotten to know and there's been a lot of sexual tension, touching, etc. -- things that outright show interest beyond interpretation -- then I think that's when a reason would be warranted, because they've pointed every arrow toward at least having a date (ie resolving confusion), and you already know them. But even then it's just digging yourself a hole to push for it.
When it comes to finding out what girls really want in a guy, or why a girl doesn't want you -- you have to find out yourself, and not expect to be told because such things can easily be misleading anyway. And sometimes in individual circumstances, you won't. | |
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| Need a reason?
Posted: 9/27/2011 6:50:21 PM | I'd say a simple, "No" works well. The response I usually get is "Boyfriend" (almost like they're expecting me to ask them out). A simple "No" works much better and isn't as hurtful.
Then you the cowardly types that prefer to intentionally ignore someone and just assumes the other person gets the hint. | |
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| Need a reason?
Posted: 9/27/2011 7:09:33 PM | OP, respect has either very little or nothing to do with this thing.
Did Dzhinghis Khan respect his enemies? Yes, in movies and books. All great generals were gentlemen in the history books, even Ivan the Terrible, or Vlad the Impaler. But in reality those gentle-minded great statesmen were vile rapists and pillagers, rude and greedy for gold and land, they would have sold their mother's tombstone for a good horse, and they were despicable, obnoxious azzoles.
That said, love is not very much unlike war. There are no rules in either. So forget about respect, and doing the proper thing, and living a long life for respecting your elders.
Just do it. | |
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| Need a reason?
Posted: 9/27/2011 8:39:19 PM | | Don't need a reason but "No" is pretty blunt and comes as a shock. "Not interested" is kinder. You can probably think of something nice without leaving an opening for a conversation. Also, as in a job interview, you are under no obligation to say why he didn't qualify. | |
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| Need a reason?
Posted: 9/27/2011 9:10:42 PM | I honestly believe most of the time you reply with 'no' or 'not interested' you are going to get a follow up with 'why?' or 'Okay np but why is that?'... thus putting you back at square one.
You're not obligated to anything at this point... I think you should answer with silence. It's rude I know! ...but at the same time if the concern is about his 'feelings' then I think he will deal with it easier then drawing out the 'why?...' | |
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| Need a reason?
Posted: 9/27/2011 9:27:52 PM | I agree that a polite "Thanks for asking, but no" should suffice. However; you may wish to make sure he's asking you on a date before you give your polite no. ;)
Presumption's huge out here with some.
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| Need a reason?
Posted: 9/27/2011 10:08:30 PM | Well for me it really depends.
Is the reason fixable or non fixable?
If the reason is non fixable, then I don't want to know. For example, if you're reason for not wanting to go out with me again is because I'm too short, then save it. It's something I can't help.
If the reason is something I can fix, like I have bad breath or something, tell me. Not so much so you'll go out with me again, but so when I go out with someone else, I"m not losing opportunities with her for the same fixable reason.
That's my take. | |
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| Need a reason?
Posted: 9/27/2011 10:35:46 PM |
If the reason is something I can fix, like I have bad breath or something, tell me.
And how exactly do they know if you have bad breath?
To the point, in most scenarios how they they know it's 'fix-able'? | |
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