| | confused Page 1 of 1 | | A guy contacted me on PoF and we got to talking. He was really funny and we seemed to have lots in common..After about 4/5 emails he suggested we swap social networking info..I thought this would be a good idea and agreed. On adding me he was really keen and chatted away the first night in the exact same way he had been before. I really found him great to talk to and he said he was keen to chat again when we were signing off. The next day I contacted him this time and he said he had to go offline, I wasn't too worried as it was about midnight and we both had said we had early starts. However, since then he never initiates conversation, and I don't feel comfortable doing so in case it seems clingy. What I want to know is if I should continue to start conversations or just cut my losses. He was hinting for dates and everything before and now nothing. Should I move on? | |
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Posted: 9/27/2011 2:43:36 PM | | If it's been a few days, and you've initiated contact a few times and he hasn't reciprocated then I'd move on. He probably saw something on the social networking site (I'm guessing facebook!) that made him lose interest. | |
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Posted: 9/27/2011 2:49:29 PM | OP - y ou should always let a guy chase you.
the more he chases, the more you know he likes you.
if you chase him, its less attractive to him as a real long term potential yet at the same time it makes things really easy for him. | |
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Posted: 9/27/2011 2:49:56 PM | | Its your call if you want to try to contact him one last time and then let it go. It has happened to me before when someone comes on strong and and then disappears. Who knows why but don't take it too personally. | |
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Posted: 9/27/2011 3:00:36 PM | OP - y ou should always let a guy chase you.
the more he chases, the more you know he likes you.
Ugh, don't propagate that Victorian myth. The last thing we need is even more women refusing to make the first move. Maybe you don't like to be approached but I do, and I know I'm far from alone in that. | |
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Posted: 9/27/2011 3:10:29 PM | It's not uncommon for people to make friends on Facebook and then go through each other's photos to get a clearer impression of that person than just from the pics on their profile.
Sometimes it can reveal that the person doesn't look as you imagined from the few profile pics and that can be a deal-breaker.
It can also reveal an insight into your personality and how you like to spend your time, this too can put some people off.
It might be that neither of these are the case in this particular instance, but it's worth being aware of. I personally am happy to let someone see my Facebook profile as I have nothing to hide and would prefer to avoid a wasted date, so the more information I can share beforehand the better.
Some people are more worried about opening up their Facebook to strangers. I do agree with this, I tend to keep off any 'vital' information from my Facebook profile generally to avoid anyone accessing my personal info, and if things don't work out with that person you can always unfriend them. I'm usually a pretty good judge of character too, when things haven't worked out with someone we've always parted amicably and without any unpleasantness.
Ugh, don't propagate that Victorian myth. The last thing we need is even more women refusing to make the first move. Maybe you don't like to be approached but I do, and I know I'm far from alone in that.
I second that! | |
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Posted: 9/27/2011 3:11:45 PM | He's married.
He's playing games.
Go for shy boys and the ones into electronics etc .. they are usually far easier to handle. | |
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Posted: 9/27/2011 3:35:06 PM |
OP - y ou should always let a guy chase you.
the more he chases, the more you know he likes you.
if you chase him, its less attractive to him as a real long term potential yet at the same time it makes things really easy for him.
I hope you are joking. That is certainly not true of all men.
OP, if he hasn't responded by now, he probably won't. He may be married or just shy. Keep fishing! :) | |
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Posted: 9/27/2011 3:58:19 PM | | Give it one or two more tries. He might very well be waiting to see if you contact him as a way to judge if you're interested. If he's not don't take it personally. It happens to everyone. | |
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Posted: 9/27/2011 4:48:10 PM | | fb status is everything. change yours from 'frantically desperate' to 'i have five minutes before "farscape" reruns come on.' he'll be all over you. | |
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Posted: 9/27/2011 4:51:08 PM |
fb status is everything. change yours from 'frantically desperate' to 'i have five minutes before "farscape" reruns come on.' he'll be all over you.
Hell, I'LL be all over you!  | |
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Posted: 9/27/2011 4:57:38 PM | I hope you are joking. That is certainly not true of all men.
I guess you've not met boon before.
OP...I don't even know what to say. It's what he has on google +1 that's really important! | |
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Posted: 9/27/2011 5:03:10 PM |
He was hinting for dates and everything before and now nothing. Should I move on?
Maybe the chatting and hinting got boring.
Ask him if he wants to meetup this weekend. If he blows that off them drop him. | |
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Posted: 9/27/2011 7:29:22 PM | Is your life's goal to participate in THE perfect conversation? The mother of all other conversations? Or is your purpose with this guy a bit different.
If it's the conversation one, go on, don't worry about his not calling. It's a social custom in my life whether I initiate the call or the other party. It's not only with girlfriends -- gad, I hadn't had one of those over a decade -- but also with my brother, my uncle, my uncle's girlfriend, his ex wives, his concubines and his "fluffers".
So no, please don't feel self-conscious. If you quit now, you'll never learn if he was playing it cool, or trying to ween you off, or else he was just letting you stand at the helms for a while.
In a way, you could regard the experience as a guest appearance replacing captain Kirk in a Star Trek episode.
I don't know why girls and women and matrons and amazons ALWaYs expect the guy to direct the flow of traffic of their coursing through the meandering relationship path. | |
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Posted: 9/27/2011 8:31:03 PM | | You don't give much of a time line so it's difficult to say but a lot of females ask that same question. Mostly they're being overly sensitive. From what you wrote I conclude you've never met this fellow, just exchanged computer messages. Exchanging computer messages doesn't amount to anything. People exchange computer messges with people they haven't met and never will. I've never met half the prople on my Facebook friends list although we've been exhanging computer messages sice the early 1990's on an earlier computer system at the univeristy here. I know more about them than I do about neighbours I've known longer. I'm afraid until you've met offline there's nothing there. He's got to get up off his butt and make an effort to meet you. Big difference. | |
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Posted: 9/28/2011 3:17:07 AM | After about 4/5 emails he suggested we swap social networking info.
Really bad idea , if you have never actually met him in person.
I thought this would be a good idea and agreed. ..... Nope .
I don't feel comfortable doing so in case it seems clingy.
I just laughed my self off the chair. "Type type type type" Send... is not clingy. Its not even actually "Social". Its make believe, until you actually meet the human being in person.
What I want to know is if I should continue to start conversations or just cut my losses.
Cut and run ....AND never do this again. Always meet with the person within 5 days or less, and talk to each other....Then you can play social network , but not until you've met.
He was hinting for dates and everything before and now nothing. Should I move on?
Yes move on for 3 reasons.
1. He hints, he doesn't have the balls to tell you to meet him tomorrow.
2. He is a a techno-anti-social. He moves to Internet network before meeting in person.
3. He found a guy pretending to be a woman ,and he he is getting more text action from him...
So forget about him, but not the lesson. | |
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Posted: 9/28/2011 5:04:43 AM | | Your profile says dating. What you are doing is having a penpal relationship. After chatting 4 or 5 times, it's not time to exchange social networking information, it's time to meet and see where it goes. Who wants to just chat? | |
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Posted: 9/28/2011 10:42:28 AM | So you started one conversation and you're afraid to start another one? Did I get that right?
If so, I think you're looking way too much into it, especially if you haven't even met yet. | |
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Posted: 9/28/2011 11:42:10 AM |
Ugh, don't propagate that Victorian myth. The last thing we need is even more women refusing to make the first move. Maybe you don't like to be approached but I do, and I know I'm far from alone in that.
Victorian myth ?
no, its called the natural order of things.
do I turn down women who approach me?
no, never - but they aren't GF material that's for certain...
don't go screwing around with 1000s of years of societal evolution...
it wasn't broken before - so why try to change it ?
I am a man - I don't sit back and wait for women to come to me...do they at times ?? sure...but I go after the women I am interested in.
don't complain cuz you're sitting back and not taking the lead...
you are a man afterall... | |
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Posted: 9/28/2011 12:08:09 PM |
Victorian myth ?
no, its called the natural order of things.
do I turn down women who approach me?
no, never - but they aren't GF material that's for certain...
don't go screwing around with 1000s of years of societal evolution...
For many, many, MANY thousands of years we lived in nomadic encampments, built stone circles so we could meet the ghosts of our ancestors, threw metal in water to placate the afterlife, and believed that our heads turned into animal heads if we ate certain plants.
I strongly encourage you to sell your home, throw all your cutlery in the toilet, prop up some paving slabs in the park and wait for your great grandfather to pop up and say hi.
No? But we've done that for thousands and thousands of years. It must be right.
Still no?
Interesting. | |
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