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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??      Home login  
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 SunnyGal42
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 1
WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??Page 1 of 1    
This question is mainly for the Guys, but I am curious, so ALL,; feel free to answer.

Why is it that (in my case) A guy will Add me to his "Favorites" List.....but then never send a message??

I just don't understand the reasoning behind this? When I add someone to my Favorites List, it is because I am interested, and I sent a msg to that person....

Anyone??
 BrockLee74
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 2
WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??
Posted: 10/8/2011 1:24:37 PM
I think there can be a couple reasons. Some say it acts like a "wink". I think sometimes it is an easy way to bookmark people you have an interest in and mean to contact. Some may also be shy and are hoping you will see this as initiation of contact and will respond with a message.
 good_dreams
Joined: 9/14/2011
Msg: 3
WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??
Posted: 10/8/2011 1:24:49 PM
This question may have been answered here on the forum a time or two I believe, but I can give you my quick take on it. Sometimes I might favorite someone just to let them know I looked at their profile and show some interest, but I might not feel like messaging them at the time. Other times I will do it because I try to message but their mail settings won't allow me too for some reason. The favorites list is just another way to let people know you are out there. Same as letting them see you viewed their profile or using the feature where you can go through photos and say yes, no or maybe to whether you would date that person.
If you see someone on your list and your not interested just delete them, if you are interested you might consider sending them an email. You don't have to say much as you know they are already interested. Have a great day!
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 4
WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??
Posted: 10/8/2011 1:38:35 PM
Could be they are shy and consider it an invitation to you.

Could be they plan to message you but when they are prepared should it go offline. Example: Not a great time because of work or family commitment.

Could be they've read you in the forums and wish to read you again.

Could be he's a creepy profile stalker.

None of know or agree on the functions of these features on here. I'd hate to guess anything.

If you are interested/attracted...send him a note.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 5
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WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??
Posted: 10/8/2011 1:45:01 PM
Since men out number women on here and by far are much more aggressive with messaging many, adding many, and hitting on 100 in order to get two or three responses, the add to the favorite thing exists.

I choose now to not do that, and will let those that want to know me, email me or add me to their list with a follow up later on. I am one that if someone takes the time to contact me, I answer them at least once, and that is not the norm for here, so, if someone adds me, but does not message me within a month or so, I go through and delete those.

If more would not play all the games of how many I have to message to get a response, or women feeling that if they throw out that carrot of adding you, that you will take over and pursue them, we would not have all of this bull that exists. I even get emails from women, and then they are mad if I respond but do not pursue, but wait for them to share this with me equally. And, unless they say that they will write back to me soon or will get back to me, I answer each email sent to me, until one of us says......thank you but no thank you!!

cd............
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 6
WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??
Posted: 10/8/2011 2:00:56 PM
Yeah .... .I agree with Revilors could be a number of those reasons
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 7
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WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??
Posted: 10/8/2011 2:01:36 PM
This is one of those “who knows?” questions.

All you have to do is to look at it from, YOUR perspective and react to that.

If you had ;ooked at his profile but never replied to his message then, obviously you weren't interested so, why would this now be any different?
 NetherShadow
Joined: 6/12/2011
Msg: 8
WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??
Posted: 10/8/2011 3:10:15 PM
Two most common reasons are:

1. Busy messaging three others at the moment.

2. Still growing a pair.
 SpringsDiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 9
WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??
Posted: 10/8/2011 3:36:13 PM
1) Email restrictions don't allow him to message you, so he hopes you will do it first, since the restrictions are only for the initial email.

For example: If you have as your preference that you do not accept emails from someone who has messaged others interested in an intimate encounter, yet you end up messaging him, it no longer matters if he had messaged someone looking for an intimate encounter. I think this is how it works. More commonly, he might be too far away to message you because of the restrictions.

2) It's a bookmark for him to look at your profile again later.

3) He liked your profile and wanted to get some ideas from it.

4) He liked your forum postings, and wants to keep reading what you have to say.

5) He wants to email you, but lives on the east coast and is too tired to give it his full attention. He will email you at another time.

6) He adds a ton of women as favorites, hoping a couple might email him.

7) He is shy, and it's a wink.

8) It allows him to see when you last logged into POF. I am not sure why it would matter to him if he did not message you, but it's a possibilty.

I add women as "Favorites" because I liked their profiles very much, I found what they had to say in the profiles very interesting, or I liked their forum postings very much and don't want to forget about her. I do this even if I see little chance of even meeting her. I also add women I consider "online friends". I will however, contact them in any of these cases and let them know why I added them.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 10
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WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??
Posted: 10/8/2011 3:45:41 PM
Probably to see if the profile is legit. Most profiles are fake, and they are discarded because they use someone else's pictures, information, etc.

In my opinion? The best way to find out if the information posted is accurate contact the individual, and ask questions. If there is a something off that is a red flag.

I have seen a woman change a profile from athletic, to thin, to extra few pounds, and then back to athletic within one day.... I personally don't care how you define how you view yourself, but at least be consistent for at least more than 24 hours? Please? lol
 SunDevil_in_SC
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 11
WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??
Posted: 10/8/2011 5:09:20 PM
I agree with Revilors as well, and really the most relevant point of what he said was this:


If you are interested/attracted...send him a note.


Couldn't have said it better myself. Just worry about the things you can control, not what you can't.
 Willys Wild Wheaties
Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 12
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WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??
Posted: 10/8/2011 5:13:27 PM
Your email restrictions are 36 to 46 and you are 42....How else is a 47 or 48 year old guy to get your attention?
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 13
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WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??
Posted: 10/8/2011 6:03:22 PM
the problem is that whoever created this feature decided to name it 'favorites,' thus freighting it with all kinds of expectations and assumptions and consequent drama. a more neutral name would be 'bookmarks,' just like the internet browsers we all use, but where's the fun in that?
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 14
WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??
Posted: 10/8/2011 6:12:40 PM

the problem is that whoever created this feature decided to name it 'favorites,' thus freighting it with all kinds of expectations and assumptions and consequent drama. a more neutral name would be 'bookmarks,' just like the internet browsers we all use, but where's the fun in that?


Isn't that the way it's worked with just about every feature. Meet me, favorite, viewed me etc... Without exception....the misconceptions have rendered them all impotent.
 orrdog
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 15
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WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??
Posted: 10/8/2011 6:13:30 PM
He likes your looks, and is using them to entertain his lustful thougths when nobody is looking.

He may also favourite you because he believes you are the mother of the Messiah, for his third coming, and who wouldn't want to be on good terms with the mother of the Ultimate Judge of all mankind.

Or he favourites you and plans each day to respond to your ad, but his gallbladder flares up every times he rolls up his sleeves to pen you a letter.

Or he favourites you, then goes to jail, where he has no or limited internet access to sites where there are people present.

Or he favourites you (this is the most likely scenario) coz he is your mother, in disguise, and your mother wants the best for you, including an unspoken message that men like you and you are their favourites.

In fact, I think having more than one favourite is skinning the language alive. Everyone can have on ONE favourite uncle, nephew, mother, god, or internet babe. The term "favourite" implies that, either explicitly or impicitly, or both, or neither , or none of the above.
 EasyPeasy72
Joined: 11/15/2009
Msg: 16
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WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??
Posted: 10/8/2011 6:27:09 PM
What is the favorites list, how do you access it? I'd love to see it.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 17
WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??
Posted: 10/8/2011 6:47:48 PM

What is the favorites list, how do you access it? I'd love to see it.


Same row as you "INBOX".

Click on FAVORITES...those are the one's you selected.

Then...click on..."Find out who has selected you as a favorite"
 Laha Math
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 18
WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??
Posted: 10/8/2011 6:59:00 PM
The site used to show at the bottom of your profile the nubmer of people who had you on their favorites list. Some were in the hundreds, just like your Facebook "friends" count. I think it was removed because it was too intimidating. Also women who were not on many favourites lists were seen to be undesirable? A lot of these guys are dreamers who want to go back and look at all the great looking women they will never date.

Easy: Click on "Favourites" in the menu at the top of your PoF home page. Then on "See who has you on their favourites list". PS If you want to get helpful messages remove the age restriction from your "who can message you" list. "Easy"? Really?
 njnyvamo
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 19
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WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??
Posted: 10/8/2011 7:09:49 PM
I do that sometimes because there so many profiles coming at me at once. You look at those who viewed you in the viewed me section, mutual match, ultra match, etc etc. In order for me to write to you it takes a lot of thought. I do not always have the time to write a well thought out letter. So I would add you to my favorites in hopes to write you within the next few days as time permits. I hope this helps un- cloud some of the mystery, Joe
 wayfarer4you
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 20
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WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??
Posted: 10/8/2011 7:11:40 PM
in this pond of water its called adding you to the list of those lady's I'd like to meet when I grow a set !!!
This site is somtimes like Jr highschool dance's , with the lady's over there and the guys over on the other side of the room waiting to see who's going to make the first move ...
heres a fast way to pull the wool over his eyes ( write him once he fav's you ) and the problem is taken care of easy as pie and all that poo .
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 21
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WHY on someones Favorite List but NO MSG??
Posted: 10/8/2011 7:59:34 PM
Everyone uses favorites differently. Most the forum regulars have each other on favorites so we know when we are online as we message each other all the time.

Most every other dating site has a way to send a "wink" or a "flirt" or something to let the other person know you have an interest in them and check out their profile.

We don't. So many use adding ya to favorites as a way to send a "wink" to let ya know they are interested. If ya like their profile also send, consider sending a 2 line message back just saying "hey I saw you added me to your fav's. Liked your profile also. Send me a message if you want to chat". I mean how hard was that and what can it hurt right?

You guys are making this way to hard.

Average guys on this site are getting a couple replies per HUNDRED messages and after awhile they honestly just quit trying. Many resort to just sending ya a wink by adding ya to favorites. Gals mostly still think that guys should initiate contact. And gals don't even reply with polite "thanks you I am not interested" (yes i KNOW why you don't) So they initiate shyly by just adding ya to favs. They wink at ya basicaly.

So that is what has evolved on this site and why.

Now imagine being at the grocery store and looking up and a nice looking guy winks at ya and smiles. Well thats what the guy adding ya to favs just did baby.

so what do you do? You can look away or walk away and say nothing at the store. And you lose the chance to meet this guy. He winked at you and showed interest. Up to you now to do SOMETHING.

Ya know what? All you had to probably do to get that guy to talk to you was smile and wink back at him. And he will come talk to ya. Works the same way here usually. If he adds ya and you like his profile add him to your favs also so he knows your interested...

GREAT you just smiled and winked back! See how easy that was. Glad to help remove another POF mystery for all the newbies here. Ya don't have to actually write the guy back if you don't want to.. just add him to your favs also. Thats all ya have to do. Any guys that are not responding to gals that add them to favs if you like their profile should be spanked. You guys all whine as no one answers ya. Well if she added ya to her favs she has already shown interest and your chances are FAR FAR better if you were to write her then just blindly picking a profile off here. Its a subtle way to show interest and see if the other person has any interest back. I have hundreds and hundreds of people on my favs over the years and I am also on hundreds of other peoples all around the world. It is just a wink if you don't know them, or in the forums a way to track friends also or anyone you want to easily track and send messages to also. I add people to my favs I see that I might be interested in to message at a later time also. I am really not in dating mode right now but will be soon and I will work my way through the local people I have on my favs when I am ready.

Good Luck winking (rolls eyes)

Cowboy
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