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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Skid Marks (what marks are you leaving, or do you want to leave, in t      Home login  
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 CarpeOmnia
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 1
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Skid Marks (what marks are you leaving, or do you want to leave, in this life?)Page 1 of 1    
Don’t let the only mark you leave in this life…be the skid marks in your shorts”
(NOTE: this is not a commentary on stool incontinence…lol)

I have been giving this a lot of thought lately. I think it’s part of my Mid-life
Crisis, or something. Along with buying a Mustang.
The older I get…the more I want to make of my life experience. I am determined
to not sleep-walk through the rest of my life.

Since this is the Dating Over 45 section….do you ever feel like time is rapidly passing and you don’t want to waste any of it? And…what marks are you leaving, or do you want to leave, in this life?
 VirtuallyLove
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 2
Skid Marks
Posted: 10/20/2011 8:59:11 PM
Just when I was getting comfortable sleep-walking (grumble, grumble).

Actually, I was just thinking this morning that I've caused enough upset for people in my life thus far, and from this point forward I'd like to bring only good things into the lives of those I love or care about. Nothing against "skid marks" - they happen no matter how fastidious or caring you try to be - but I'd like to limit those as much as possible from this point on. No offense to the OP intended, of course.
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 3
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Skid Marks
Posted: 10/20/2011 9:29:22 PM
One word...Depends. Yes, I read the thread and I stand by the "d" word .
 southmeetswest
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 4
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Skid Marks
Posted: 10/20/2011 9:37:02 PM
my take on this

time is rapidly passing by and i don't want to waste one minute not savoring every moment. it seems that i rushed around "experiencing" so much. i did not take notice of the little things. the simple things. always looking for the faster, bigger, better, etc. etc.

what i am enjoying now is softer, richer, fuller.

kaylee
 PrunellaJones
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 5
Skid Marks
Posted: 10/20/2011 10:00:11 PM
I am determined to not sleep-walk through the rest of my life.….do you ever feel like time is rapidly passing and you don’t want to waste any of it? And…what marks are you leaving, or do you want to leave, in this life?.
I don't think I am sleep walking through life, not anymore at least. There was a time when I probably was, not going after what I really wanted. Nowadays it is different. In two weeks, for example, I am going to China. I have rececently relocated to a new job in a new country. Within the past year, I've found a great guy and am involved in a wonderful relationship. No possibility of sleep walking through life. There is much I want to do, and, yes, time is passing...and seems to do so much more rapidly than in the past. But I am living now in a way that allows me to experience life about as fully as I can, given the constraints of working, finances, and reality. I don't think in terms of leaving any kind of mark on the world.
 pretzelman60
Joined: 9/27/2011
Msg: 6
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Skid Marks
Posted: 10/20/2011 10:12:11 PM
I have two children, those are the only marks I want to leave in this life. Everything else has proven that I am a loser. My children show me I did at least I one thing right!


JMO
 NiceGuy97415
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 7
Skid Marks
Posted: 10/21/2011 12:38:31 AM
There are definitely some things I'd wish I would've tried, and some things I wish I hadn't done.

As for now, I career shifted a bit to spend more time with my girls.

If I can live to see them graduate high school, and college, and enter post education life with some opportunities, then I will be one happy camper and consider everything I've done to be worth it all.

If I can get make it to 61, then I figure I'll have pulled it off :)

GL all
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 8
Skid Marks
Posted: 10/21/2011 3:04:09 AM

do you ever feel like time is rapidly passing and you don’t want to waste any of it?

Yes and no. When I was 25, death from old age seemed like an eternity away and I never worried about running out of time to do everything. Now, it's more apparent that I've only got a finite amount of time squeeze in whatever thrills I can.

And…what marks are you leaving, or do you want to leave, in this life?

I really don't care as long as when I'm on my deathbed, I can't think of anything I should have done at least once, but didn't.
 Excalibur242
Joined: 12/14/2010
Msg: 9
Skid Marks
Posted: 10/21/2011 4:00:20 AM
I suppose I'm fortunate in that I have been able to bring most of my goals and aspirations to fruition. When others say they want to do or experience something, I can usually say that I've been there and done that. Its been a fun ride so far and I'm looking forward to what new adventures the future will bring. It's not that I'm slowing down, it's just that I now try to absorb my adventures rather than rush from one thing to the next.

You can say you've been somewhere if you flew over at 30,000 feet...but you can only experience it with your feet on the ground.

This year I revisited two of my favorite cities..New York and Miami. I have been to both many times before, but always with an agenda and was rushed to take in the things everyone is supposed to do.

This year, I explored each city for twenty-four hours straight... taking in the flavor of each part of the day and the people going about their daily routine at different times of the day. Walking the streets of Manhattan at 4 am...and eating sushi with warm Saki at 5 am in Miami Beach where more memorable than the blur of being in Macy's parade or racing offshore boats down Government Cut.

For me it's become quality...not quantity. My legacy (I hope) is that along the way I've touched someone and made their life better in some way.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 10
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Skid Marks
Posted: 10/21/2011 5:34:19 AM
I could drop yesterday and have no problem leaving this world. Though, I do know,nowadays, the speed of which I do things is slowing down, leaving me to grasp and enjoy the "moment" more than I use to. I am also trying to not let the dumbass' of the world control my emotions,which I am finding harder and harder. Seems there is not limit on the amount of dumbass' that are allowed to live amongst us. So , instead of getting wound up with them, I just tell them to phuck off and get outta my hair. I really have no time for it.
 libralaughing
Joined: 7/30/2011
Msg: 11
Skid Marks
Posted: 10/21/2011 6:16:17 AM
I have to admit that as I get older I do see time as 'rapidly passing' - it's more like "wow, where did the whole year go?" rather than "okay, that day went by fast." Still, I've found that while life is much more simple in many ways, it's far richer. If there's anything I want to leave behind when I leave this life, it's the sense of laughter and hope - that I learned to savor life and laugh at myself. (Besides, what's that old saying: 'the best is yet to come'?)
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 12
Skid Marks
Posted: 10/21/2011 6:23:46 AM

..do you ever feel like time is rapidly passing and you don’t want to waste any of it?

It's interesting that many sort of think you must be do do do doing something or it is a 'waste' of time.
I find it to be no waste to be relaxing and watching the ocean, not purposefully touching anyone's life but my own on that day or many of those types of days, (for example).

There is no rush in my life, due to it being shorter by a day every day that passes, to be filling the minutes with 'busy'.

As for marks left. I believe I've left many already and will continue to do so.

Even sitting on the pier watching the ocean quietly (to use previous example) there may be someone that notices me and thinks "wow, that lady in a wheelchair sure looks at peace and very happy, if she can be happy in her 'situation' then maybe I should be smiling too!"

See? I've left a mark! And I wasn't do do do doing.
 CarpeOmnia
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 13
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Skid Marks
Posted: 10/21/2011 10:31:43 AM
Hello MizDrumming....
I don't think that I was thinking that one had to be do..do..doing stuff, cramming every day with busy things.
I agree with you that there is no waste in being quiet and at peace....and simply watching the ocean.
I like to think of it more like "being present" in your own life.
It's like taking a long drive and zoning out for a time....where you "snap to" and wonder at the fact that you can't remember anything about the last 10 km.

I think my mind is rolling these types of questions around because of what I see/experience in my work every shift.
I work with the frail elderly...lots of palliative care. I see the folks that are satisfied with their lives and feel they have lived it fully. Other folks can't believe they are living where they are...at the age they are...having put off living or doing the things they wanted to do...and now it's too late.
"Where did the time go?" is heard often.

For example, my own parents have talked about going to Hawaii for at least 10 years now. They have the time...they have the money...
They haven't gone. But they still talk about one day going there.
At their age of 74....somebody is going to have a health issue crop up and then NO ONE will be going.

I think time can fly by...and before you know it where once you were 16 and time dragged on, now you are 68 and time is much more finite.

Hopefully, you haven't "zoned out" for long stretches of it.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 14
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Skid Marks
Posted: 10/21/2011 11:01:33 AM
this is an interesting thread ...

one of my prime philosophies in life since childhood has been to NOT sway someone else into taking any path not of their own chosing ... I've endeavoured to provide options but to try to NOT convince them that MY way has to be their way ... I've felt that people need to chose their own paths, make their own choice ... granted, I feel ok with helping them to come to informed decisions ...

but ...

a couple of years ago, I began to re-think that philosophy ... I watched one of my children ABSOLUTELY make mistakes in how his child was being raised ... I decided it was time for Grandma to step in and make a difference ... my "gentle" persuasion became more and more insistent ... I even called and found agencies to help them ... I told them what I thought needed to happen ... I maybe gave them a little more than just informed decision-making skills ... ok ... maybe I pushed a little bit! the outcome has been transformative ... I didn't DO anything but interfere a little bit, do a little research ... THEY contacted the agencies, got help ... THEY followed through and made changes ... when they couldn't drive him to therapy, they asked me to help and I did so ... at their request! ... not only has my grandson been helped 200% ... the entire family has benefitted ...

while I still believe each of us has to find his/her own path ...

now that I'm getting a little older, more mature ... I'm getting a little more free with my advice! so ... maybe I am laying down a few tracks ... not so much skid marks ... but leaving tracks to show where I've been ...

 CarpeOmnia
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 15
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Posted: 10/21/2011 11:40:33 AM
Now...that was a fabulous example of leaving behind tracks Molly Maude. These particular tracks that you left, could conceivably effect generations with its' ripple effect.

I think we can get caught in life's ruts. We can get complacent, or lazy....as we sleep-walk along. Or we can try to avoid conflict, keep the peace...any number of things that stop us from stepping outside of ourselves and our comfort zones...to make that track you were speaking of Molly.

Getting older...caring less what others' think of us...can help us when it comes time to leave our marks behind.
 BlueTeaPot
Joined: 6/25/2011
Msg: 16
Skid Marks (what marks are you leaving, or do you want to leave, in this life?)
Posted: 10/21/2011 1:46:23 PM
Be actively involved in community life.....I have left a so call skid mark in Bowmanville, Ontario, Canada at the Clarington Arts centre called The Mill. There is a dedication stone for the women who were killed at Ecole Politechnique - the poem on the stone is mine.

Here in NZ.....no visible skid marks...YET!

 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 17
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Skid Marks (what marks are you leaving, or do you want to leave, in this life?)
Posted: 10/21/2011 4:17:08 PM
Interesting topic. At almost 48 I am more aware of the passage of time. My parents moved into a retirement home last year and we were joking around about what to do with it when they eventually pass on (yes we joke about pretty much anything in my family ). I noted that I would be able to move in myself in 4 years.... we all stopped laughing for a few minutes there

As for my own personal skid marks? I like the concept form the Hippocratic oath... Do No Harm. I hope I have lived and will continue to live with this at the forefront of my mind. What do I want to leave behind? A daughter who is happy and confident (already there actually if I can boast a moment) and in a few years- grandchildren. I am a preschool teavher and again, while doing no harm, I hope to have left a positive influence on some young lives. Modest wishes but heartfelt.

As for Carpe Diem.... I just hope to grasp opportunities as they arise now- travel being a huge part of what I want to do. I have also just moved in with my sweetie and after 14 years alone- that was a biggie. But I figured, now or never. 14 days in and all is well
 Megaladonfishy
Joined: 5/7/2008
Msg: 18
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Skid Marks (what marks are you leaving, or do you want to leave, in this life?)
Posted: 10/21/2011 4:53:05 PM
I left bread crumbs...just in case
 Taoistic1
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 19
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Skid Marks (what marks are you leaving, or do you want to leave, in this life?)
Posted: 10/21/2011 7:35:03 PM
I grew up at a time of generational change in our family. It felt like I lived at funerals! Thank God we were Irish and they were a party! Yet many were filled with regrets.

So I learned young not to do stuff I would regret and didn't have time to undo. Do unto others... is quite simple really. Yet, to follow that path one needs the energy and focus to always be in the moment. Then all one does is walk on. Looking back one has few regrets or guilt, since you knew you did the best one could at the time.

It is quite amazing what is then called into your life and presented before you.
 SunnyBlueSkies23
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 20
Skid Marks (what marks are you leaving, or do you want to leave, in this life?)
Posted: 10/22/2011 3:34:28 AM
Like everyone else, i've made my share of blunders and bumbles when it comes to the kind of "skid marks" I've left on other people's lives. I know I'm not perfect, except perfectly ME.
From this point out, I'd like to leave what my beloved Mom & Grandparents left for me in my life.....I'd like to follow in their footsteps,and try to make MY little corner of this big, blue orb a little better for having been here. That's the legacy they left for me, and I'm determined to do the best job I possibly can to fulfill it.
Sure they are BIG shoes to fil (figuratively),but I believe in this with my whole heart, and believe I can make it a reality.They taught me what it means to fully live my life,to laugh until my sides hurt to enjoy life and the roller-coaster, crazyness of it all to love with your whole self,,and to be the best ME I can be. Yes, they sure ARE big shoes to fill,but I'm up for the challenge!
Mom gave me the BEST gifts of all......her, as my Mom, and the gift of this wonderful , happy,sometimes sad, crazy thing we call life. SHE taught me HOW to,but now it's up to me to make it a great one! Hugs & kisses Mom! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU, too, Grammy, Granpa, Nana & Grampa! I vow to make you proud of me!
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 21
Skid Marks (what marks are you leaving, or do you want to leave, in this life?)
Posted: 10/22/2011 1:02:47 PM
For example, my own parents have talked about going to Hawaii for at least 10 years now. They have the time...they have the money...
They haven't gone. But they still talk about one day going there.
At their age of 74

Since we all seem to have survived the last "end of the world" prediction..
Seems that you could take another's example here and encourage/motivate your parents to TAKE that Hawaii trip now.. At least by arranging to go yourselves and inviting/forcing your parents to put up or shut up by going with you two..

No doubt you will not be "sleepwalking" while Waltzing over there with your SO and your parents..
And at some point in the next 10-20 years they will be gone and you all will have those memories of their excitement during their Hawaiian trip, seeing those volcanoes, hula dancers and maybe helicoptering around all those islands..
 Sweven
Joined: 9/29/2011
Msg: 22
Skid Marks (what marks are you leaving, or do you want to leave, in this life?)
Posted: 10/23/2011 4:49:13 PM
It's something most younger people don' t get, and shouldn't be expected to get: life's just as precious to the wrinkly crowd -- maybe more precious once reality starts to hit.

Sometimes it feels enough for me that I didn't do unto, as I got done to. If I couldn't make a mark, then at least I refrained from leaving marks on others (as said above: in my little corner)

Ain't much, but it's all I've got -- and it wasn't easy.

Sometimes I feel like I scrabbled ferociously in a hard-bitten, barren waste land, having to fight uphill most of the time.

Honestly right now I want my skid marks to be the gift of my rocking chair to the porch. (If I owned a rocking chair. Or a porch.)
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