| | Would you date someone 20 years older than you?Page 1 of 9 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) | Okay, I hired the farmer down the road to cut the hay field regularly. When he cut first cutting, we talked quite a bit. When he cut second cutting, he and his help unloaded and stacked it in the barn for me at no charge- didn't charge me for baling it either. I thanked him and invited him to dinner. Third cutting I made sure he took money for baling (farming is how he makes his living), but he still wouldnt charge for unloading and stacking. He asked me to breakfast and I accepted. He stopped over several times after that in the mornings and we would just sit and talk, about everything from my silly bloodhounds to the kids, and his dog and kids. And it is just so nice to have someone to talk to.
The other day he stopped by with absolutely beautiful flowers for me. And I really just wanted to cry because no one (besides my kids) has gotten me flowers in 15 years...not even when I gave birth (I was always the only new mom in the hospital with no flowers or cards). He is very sweet and says kind things, is very soft spoken...and isn't fazed by the fact that I have 5 kids and two are special needs. And I like that he has his own place- because I don't feel like he's just wanting to move into mine (In the past I actually had a guy tell me he was looking for a stable female so he would have a home to take his daughters to when he had visitation).
I've been single for 6 1/2 years now for the most part- with an occasional date now and again. And I have just become so used to my single mom routine... How does someone break a routine after having it for so long?
So would you date someone 20 years older than you? If they were very kind, considerate, treated you well and actually acted like they were interested in you- and not what you owned? Part of me wonders why I am even asking this I guess. But I think the main problem I'm having is just accepting the fact that there is someone who may just plain like me for who I am. And I guess I'm just blown away because the relationship just kind of started when I didn't expect it to start. I like him a lot. But at the same time I'm scared to death. I think the fear is from past relationship experiences. I've built such a big wall around my heart and It scares me to think it may be coming down. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 10/22/2011 2:02:29 AM | | Definitely I would. Older men are MUCH better when it comes to everything. Manners, honesty, material stuff, maturity,sex.The list goes on. Go for it! Just be careful you don't mess it up with your obviously battered by younger guys self. Let it happen & enjoy it. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 10/22/2011 3:01:14 AM | Forget the age thing...and for a moment forget that he treats you well...that should be a given!
The big question is: Do you LIKE or LOVE him?
If yes, then go for it! If no, then don't hurt him just because he is nice to you!
Something people need to understand is that just because someone is NICE doesn't mean they deserve anything or should expect anything.
That said, I am usually approached by women 15 or so years younger than myself, the last GF was 22 years younger...if she hadn't have screwed it up I'd still be with her! | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 10/22/2011 3:42:23 AM | If you like him and he treats you well, go for it. What do you have to lose?
I've built such a big wall around my heart and It scares me to think it may be coming down.
Protecting yourself from failure will ensure you prevent yourself from success. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 10/22/2011 8:35:13 AM | My own position is that my wife passed away after a four year battle against cancer in September 2011. There were circumstances that I won't go into that have helped me to start seeking a friendship and possible relationship in the fairly short time since her passing. I did have a very brief 'hot friendship' with a lady who was 7 years older than myself. There was no age gap when it came to the meeting of body and mind, so in short 'Go for it!!!' Just bear one thing in mind though that you are not placing yourself in a potential position to become housekeeper/maid/servant to him in later years. Hope the hay turns out well, we may have a hard winter.(I've been involved with UK agriculture and machinery for nearly 40 years)
David | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 10/22/2011 7:36:38 PM | | I know it's all dependent upon your values, and if you are a practical person who wants a partner near their age who will most likely be their partner for the rest of their lives. Some women may not want to outlive their husband/partner in a short amount of time. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 10/24/2011 1:22:30 PM | If you go to other cultures you will find that age discrepancies are rather normal. My Great grant father married for the first time at the age of 45 to a woman that was 19 (or so they day). More than likely she was 16 or 17.
The important thing is as others have said, not that he is nice to you. But that you like him and that both of you have chemistry together.
Other than that go at it. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 10/24/2011 1:53:26 PM | Hey, there's as many opinions on this as people who post on these forums!
Men looking for younger women, women looking for younger men. Who cares?
The only thing that matters is what you think, how you feel about it and will a relationship with him have the potential to make you and he happy.
I find that we are all judgemental on here. We express our views, opinions and feelings on any subject as the last word, because that is what we believe, or relates to our own experiences.
From what I read in your OP, this man has been kind, considerate and shown respect. Some people can transend age, while they may be born years apart, they have a bond that bridges the gap between their ages.
Further in some cases, circumstances can play a part. Remote locations can limit one's dating pool. Then personal preferences can also play a role.
You've been single for over 6 years, you have a child he seems to accept. Your fear maybe playing a role in looking to short circuit this thing. He hasn't worn down your walls, they are merely responding to a kind and caring man.
In the end, it really doesn't matter what we say, the answer is solely within you. You can either choose to see where this thing goes, or walk away and try again with some one else. The choice is yours and yours alone. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 10/24/2011 4:04:08 PM | for the most part age as they say is just a number. I actually married someone who was 18 years older, and would have stayed if he wouldnt have been abusive & a narcissist. If you get along, and can be open & honest with each other...go for it! Life is too short to not be happy....wishing you all the best! Everyone is unique and you can never tell who will get along or not....enjoy and get to know each other well...and just go with the flow!   | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 10/24/2011 5:16:50 PM | | If you enjoy his company which it sounds like you do and find him "attractive" which is a pretty all encompassing thing right, not just a pretty face, I would say go for it. Just because he is older and a farmer should not make you shy away by any means. Farmers are generally very conservative, thoughtful, and generous people with their time and hearts. If your gut tells you to let him in, go ahead and put the walls down. You may be staring at one of the best relationships you could every imagine. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 10/24/2011 5:24:37 PM | | Oh but I forgot to add, if you progress in this relationship, hope you are prepared for man stink! I know having kids and all the laundry you do can't be overly fun, but a man working a in a field all day can bring home the funk, trust me I know, my family is from farmers. :D | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 10/24/2011 6:52:30 PM | | Yes, thank you all so much for the words of encouragement. The farming thing doesn't bother me at all. I've worked on hog, horse and dairy farms, and grew up on a farm also. I've always been country, and can't imagine any other life. Yes, farm clothes are definately smelly!!! Thank God for Tide , Febreeze and Downy! | |
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GregSM
| | Joined: 1/30/2011
Msg: 15 | |
| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 10/24/2011 8:50:23 PM | Age is only a number, if you like him/love him go for it simple.
Forget the past, its called the past for a reason, the future is not known and only you can make it brighter! be happy :) | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 10/26/2011 7:04:13 AM | Yes.
I wouldn't go LOOKING for someone 20 years older than me, but if I met someone and it was great then yes I would.
I also wouldn't put an ad out for a 20 year old college girl, but if we happen to bump into each other and turns out awesome, then yeah, age aint nothing but a number. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 10/28/2011 4:20:32 AM | In your case, it seems like it could work well.
I think it would be really difficult for me. Dating someone my mom's age. It's unlikely we'd have much in common, and we'd be at different stages of our lives. But if she's one of the rare few who is a kid at heart, loves electronic music and going out to clubs, loves gaming, anime...I've talked to a couple of women in their 50s like that, but I would think they're extremely rare.
Even then, though...I'd kinda maybe like to have kids in a few years or so...but someone that age is probably gonna be pushing menopause, so it could well be now or never...or possibly already never.
If it was just a casual date then I guess all that wouldn't matter too much...but it's also pretty rare for me to be attracted to women much over 35...happens now and then, but it's fairly uncommon. | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 10/28/2011 4:49:06 AM | No.
I am 39...so that is 59.
Here is when I would date her:
she looks like a 25-30 year old,
she behaves like a 25-30 year old, flexible, has travel bug etc.
she would like to have chidren, so I guess it is than adoption.
Havet met such 59 year old so far!
Theoretically possible, but rare a orange snow!
On the other hand, I would also date a 19 year old.
If she fits about the same box....
if she is mature enough to behave like a 25-30 year old.
Ideally I am looking for someone 10-15 years youger than me,
as a 39 year old I feel most of time that a 33-35 year old is too old for compatibility!
still looking:lol:
OP, why would you listen to forum posters?
your life, your decisions, whatever you decide, enjoy! | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 10/28/2011 8:40:44 AM | My ex, who is the father of my child, is 18 years older than I am and I can tell you that I was 26 when I met him and he was 44, and there was nothing "loose" about his skin. I have always preferred older men (he was definitely quite a bit older than my norm) because I like the stability that they bring with them and maturity level. I don't want to date a "child". Age is just a number and would happily date someone my own age and younger if they possessed the mature qualities that I am looking for.
Obviously you care for this gentlemen so why not? | |
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| Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 10/28/2011 8:59:22 PM | I would definitely NOT date someone that much older.
That's disgusting! for such old man to be courting a 20 year
younger female. Females who seek this time of relationships
usually had a dad missing while growing up. Gather up some self
esteem and I'm sure you can find a younger, stronger man who will
be around to share life with you and your kids. Otherwise you'll be taking care
of this old man and his ailments for many years.
Keep in mind Older men are more devious and deceitful they have
20 years of experience ahead of you! You are like his daughter.
Kinda sick. Think about it. | |
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