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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Looks really are everything....      Home login  
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 lovelessincr
Joined: 6/19/2004
Msg: 1
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Looks really are everything....Page 1 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
They say beauty is only skin deep. But I guess 99 percent of every woman I've meet on this site and in public doesn't look beyond that. The glares, wierd looks, and long stares make your reason for living fade a little bit more each day. I guess ugly people should just kill themselves because they have no chance whatsoever. They say life is what you make it, so who needs hell when you're already living in it everday...
 TattoosAreAddictive
Joined: 6/3/2005
Msg: 2
Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/22/2005 5:44:01 PM
I feel the same way sometimes. I can send up to 10 messages a day and get no responses. I don't think that I am ugly, but then again when no one sends you messages on a dating site with lots of people on it you tend to feel that way. I'm trying to be as positive as I can, but my patience is starting to wear down..........
 David1960
Joined: 7/13/2005
Msg: 3
Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/22/2005 6:01:32 PM
lovelessincr

Sorry to hear you feel that way.

Maybe your good looks and self confidece is intimidating to others

or maybe its that if you place little value on your self worth ppl just take your word for it
 Mr_CLEAN
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 4
Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/22/2005 6:02:23 PM
Looks really ARE everything. I agree 100%. Anyone who disagrees should go and have 1 hour long sex with someone very ugly (My pick), and also provide proof.
Now that I've said it. Some people are missing out, I get a very few emails. Most attractive women do not email me. But I dont care. Haha. Its just a game. It is easier in real life. That is just a risk you take going on line, dont take it personally!

You can have the following things happen,

1) Really ugly person, really good personality
2) Really ugly person, really ugly personality
3) Really good looking person, really good personality (rare, may take forever to find so most humans say "why wait when we can have something NOW" think of this and use this to your own advantage)
4) Really good looking person, Really UGLY personality

And so on with the average stuff, depending on what suits you in terms of looks and personality.


Now that you know how brutal online dating is, Forget about trying to attract mates. Try to make MONEY. Thats right. Wealth EVENS out the playing field my friend!
If you have wealth, show me the money, and I will personally show you how you can get these women or men to line up for you for your money. THEN you can enter their mind and see what more is there.

Remember, when someone says "ambitious" in their profile, find out what that ambition really is.

99.9% of women and men with an ambition are really communicating a desire for wealth, through a plethora of means.

School, Online dating, work, Illegal means, whatever it may be.

Focus on making money, and when you have done so, contact me. The easiest attribute to change about your self physically are

1) Your habits
2) Your weight (affected by your habits)
3) Your earnings

You cant change your height, your bone structure, etc (well maybe through surgery and money) hahaha

Alright, until then, keep plugging.

MR CLEAN!
 Nailbunny
Joined: 8/30/2003
Msg: 5
Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/22/2005 6:22:35 PM
Looks don't mean squat. I don't consider myself attractive, however every girl that ive ever been with has been very very, guys turn and look at them everywere they go, type of attractive. How did I get these girls? My attractive personality and disposition always won them over. Personality can go a very long way. The downside to this is the fact that every single one of them turned out to be crazy, and very very ugly on the inside and no amount of good looks can make up for that. I don't care who you are or how much money you make.

In the end it always comes down to whats on the inside and thats what makes or breaks everything. The outside is just a shell. I will gladly take someone who is far below societys standards of attractive that has an awesome personality over someone who has no personality and awesome good looks. When someone has a shining personality but may not look that great at first, you will find overtime that the more you are around them the more attracted you feel. This isn't always the case of course but it is very common.
 Oldtimegentleman
Joined: 5/5/2005
Msg: 6
Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/22/2005 6:24:17 PM
Come on folks, lets get real here, of course looks mean a lot to people. But that doesn't mean that you can't find someone special in your life. There may not be anyone on this site that can overlook a little imperfection here or there, but there are plenty of others that contain folks just like you and I that really are looking for that special something in someone and are not all hung out looking for "Barbie or Ken". Keep looking folks, you will find someone, even an old fart like me can find a special person..Keep your head high or you may let that person slip on by..
 markthetruck
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 7
Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/22/2005 8:38:40 PM
Sorry kiddo. I feel for you. I think your cute as a button, but it's a shame about the tats.
Can't figure out why people think those things are attractive. I appreciate the artistic qualities but I'm afraid far too many people look to them to give themselves some sense of originality or beauty. Neither, in my opinion is true. The most attractive feature of any woman is here personality. Her sense of herself. Being comfortable in your own skin is more than just what you wear or how you mark your epiduris. It's that lovely smile of yours.
 antler head
Joined: 7/18/2005
Msg: 8
Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/22/2005 9:24:56 PM
lovelessincr,

First off, you're not ugly.

Secondly, ugly people shouldn't kill themselves.

Lastly, it's an ugly outlook that judges people by their looks and also makes you feel hopeless and depressed. It's up to each of us to find our way past the frustration of personal hardships to the larger parts of life. Ask for help and you'll get it, but simply complaining and being angry get nothing done.
 lovelessincr
Joined: 6/19/2004
Msg: 9
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Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/23/2005 11:30:07 AM
Sure its easy to say personality is better but its hard to develop any self confidence or personality when you've never been accpeted. Living in a town where you're the only minority most of the time makes you feel like a black sheep where ever you go. Since I was young, I've always kept to myself because whenever I do something I end up looking stupid or wrong. So my entire life I've never had anyone who considered me as a friend, just an aquaintance.

The dozens of times I have tried to make friends or express my feelings, I've always been shut out before even being given a chance. So that eats at your soul and makes you think you are not good enough. My standards aren't high, I'm just too low on other peoples standards. I'm not posting this because I'm looking for sympathy. I just wanted to give some backstory for my earlier post. When your depressed it helps a little to write your feelings down I guess...

They say life is short...but some some it will hopefully be shorter...
 antler head
Joined: 7/18/2005
Msg: 10
Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/23/2005 11:39:47 AM
I get it, but it's up to you to get over your dismal outlook. We all have problems and challenges. In your case, that has got to be tough being the only one who looks like you. I have always lived where I was in the majority as far as race goes. But I have other reasons for feeling like a rare bird, one-off, outcast and misfit. I finally realized it was because I just focused on that one difference. There are more ways we are alike than we are different. Have you ever lived among people like yourself? Sometimes a visit to such a place can do wonders.

But in any case, depressed is depressed is just depressed, and anything you feed depression is like adding fuel to the fire. In a psychological sense, it is very common for people to have at least one thing about themselves they fixate on as being what sets them apart. Isolation is built on such a premise. So when you stop to think about it, many people around you are exactly the same way, but their reason isn't race. It could be they feel isolated by their beliefs, history, situation, sexual orientation, phobia, or any other thing. My point is, you are in the same boat with a lot of people, and it's a very big boat. In fact I think most people will at some point go through this same kind of feeling, isolation and depression. We can all relate. Don't be so quick to judge others. They may be ready to welcome you with open arms if you step out of your prison of fears.

Stop talking about short lifespan and start whining about not getting enough sex like the rest of us!
 pinballdoctor
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 11
Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/23/2005 12:35:42 PM
Women who value looks above personality are shallow and cheap.
I would much rather have an average looking gal with a great personality, then a good-looking unsensitive know it all ... I hope there are some women out there who feel the same way. P.S. Just for you "slower" people out there, I'm talking about a lifetime commitment here, not a cheap one-night stand.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 12
Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/23/2005 10:33:18 PM
Love - you're too young to be so down and out. I think you're a handsome man. You know, millions of people hit the net each and every day. All of these millions of women can tell you that you are handsome, but that's not important. It is important for YOU to believe in yourself, to love yourself, and to know that God made you special. You are special and will be special to someone who will appreciate you FOR YOU!

Looks are easy come and easy go, just like money. Gosh, I feel I'm preaching to the choir here. I've said this same thing in many of my posts.
Enjoy your youth, enjoy life, the rest will fall in place!
 Ts pet
Joined: 7/16/2005
Msg: 13
Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/23/2005 10:38:20 PM
yes ide ahve to agree. for most women looks are everything
 blitznboltz
Joined: 5/4/2005
Msg: 14
Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/23/2005 11:39:06 PM
Looks arent always everything, I dont believe, but I dont think that is just a one sided thing either, I think both sexes are infatuated by looks. I think that television and the media have really just contaminated our thinking about what an attractive person should look like. The last guy that I was involved with was not such a handsome man, in fact my daughter thought he looked like Lyle Lovitt, but to me he was so hot.

I think looks are always the initial attraction but once you get to know someone, they can become more and more attractive to you, just by getting to know them better. The whole world is not filled with Julia Roberts and Brad Pitts, so we need to be a little more accepting of peoples flaws and unique qualities. But Ive seen many a profile that might as well read as ......Old, Fat, Bald, Ugly,Toothless Guy Looking for Super Model. And this applies to women too, I think its only human nature to value looks over everything else initially.

But the best thing that we can do for each other is stop being so judgemental towards each other. Find something good about someone and give them a compliment, but at least look for the good in someone. I love Wayne Dyers quote " If you change the way you look at things, then the things you look at will change". I find this is absolutely true and in many ways it has changed my life.
 BarnBabe
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 15
Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/24/2005 3:53:04 AM
Loveless, you're whining about being a minority. Stop that. No one likes it. Now before you get into a rant about me being a little white girl, I live in Southern OC. White people ARE the minority here, and don't believe anything different. And I put up with a lot because of it. So don't make the assumption that you can't get a date because of your race. That's just an excuse.
 Skylar1Again
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 16
Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/24/2005 6:41:00 AM
Great attitude!

YOU are responsible for your own happiness!
 Luvs-Mistress
Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 17
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Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/24/2005 7:32:20 AM
I realy think if you judge a person on looks alone you are shallower than the lowest pothole! I have spoken with some realy great people from POF that weren't exactly model material but had personalities that sparkled and sgined. On the other hand it has been my experiemce that if the guy is a model type he is so busy looking at himself that he has no time to pay attention to his gal.. give me average looks with a great personality any day.
 snm6996
Joined: 6/13/2005
Msg: 18
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Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/24/2005 7:47:32 AM
Its not just the girls who value looks... its men too. Don't pick on one gender when both are guilty
 dayzeyblue
Joined: 3/7/2004
Msg: 19
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Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/24/2005 11:06:19 AM
Looks aren't everything but I personally have to be attracted to someone to go out w/ them regardless of personality. I don't consider it shallow, it's just the way it is. Personality is of course very important but, I need physical attraction even if it does fade eventually, eventually can be a very long time...

Plus everyone is attracted to different things and while it's true that some people are just plain ugly in an obvious way , I believe that someone thinks that even that person is worth being with, even if they are the only ones who think it.

Looks are more important to me, more than personality but only for the intial dating...then the personality starts to really count, even if he's the hottest guy I've been with, he's out and actually this has happened to me. He was sssooo handsome, and so my type on the outside but he was boring, depressed and vaguely**** which made it confusing w/ the low self esteem issues. On the flip side, I have also tried dating guys that were really great personality wise and really fun guys but that I wasn't that attracted to. I tried due to the fact that I started to feel shallow and too picky but it didn't work out...I didn't want to really kiss them or be physical w/ them which is a big deal for me and totally wasn't fair to them. So I resigned myself to the fact that I can't help what I am an am not attracted to and the same for those guys that weren't into me.

I looked at your profile loveless and can say that in my opinion you come off a bit depressed and a little down on yourself and that may be part of your problem. If your confident and take charge a bit w/ out being a**** jerk women take notice and it may make you take a look at your personalities part in your single status. I know that when I dated a guy who has low self esteem or thinks that I could "do better" than them, I get tired of constantly reassurring them or I start feeling exhausted by having to be a 24/7 cheerleader. Their insecurities make me more aware of my own and that's a downer.

Also, I am sure that so called "ugly" people have their standards as well and I think it's kinda crappy how when they get turned down it's because the other person was shallow but if your decent looking it's your own damn fault for being dumped.

Bottom line: Looks count but are subjective depending on the viewer.

Good luck,
Dayzey
 yessir
Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 20
Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/24/2005 2:49:54 PM
i say suck it up, find something worthe being upset about, crying about being ugly is just as shallow as someone who is good looking and using it for negative reasons, boo hoo im ugly, get some confidence whining definately isnt gonna make u appealing bud, get over it live for u, its sad that it bothers u so much of what ppl think , or what u think ppl think. confidence my man
 Skylar1Again
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 21
Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/24/2005 3:11:42 PM
^^ Right on.
 Country Lady
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 22
Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/24/2005 3:32:17 PM
To the OP: Can you remove your restrictions so I can send you something?
 kedyn01
Joined: 7/2/2005
Msg: 23
Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/24/2005 3:32:22 PM

They say beauty is only skin deep. But I guess 99 percent of every woman I've meet on this site and in public doesn't look beyond that. The glares, wierd looks, and long stares make your reason for living fade a little bit more each day. I guess ugly people should just kill themselves because they have no chance whatsoever. They say life is what you make it, so who needs hell when you're already living in it everday...


Your profile reeks of desperation.

Being desperate = turnoff.

You might as well state in big letters "I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOUR APPROVAL", and then you'll be sure that no one will ever email you.
 *Em*
Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 24
Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/24/2005 3:34:34 PM
[When your depressed it helps a little to write your feelings down I guess...]


lovelessincr, you are so right. i was taught that writing how you feel is the best therapy about.
however..its not really about how others see you. its how you see yourself. you sound to me like you have a big lack of confidence. you also say its hard making friends.
a confident person is an attractive person.
work on yourself. join a club or find a hobbie, get out more..go where there are people.
look in the mirror each day and tell yourself at least one thing that you love about yourself..hold your head high and be proud of who you are. we only get one shot at life..start enjoying it!
trust me..when you start believing in yourself..others will too.
i wish you luck..and if you ever need a chat im here
 Logik
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 25
Looks really are everything....
Posted: 7/24/2005 5:27:10 PM
This has to be the worst topic on this site. So many people persecute posters for suggesting this problem. Just browsing around and choosing various threads, I found that any poster who made this complaint got plenty of scolding and 'self-improvement' advice.

Read this quote from a poster:

Looks aren't everything but I personally have to be attracted to someone to go out w/ them regardless of personality. I don't consider it shallow, it's just the way it is.


Read various profiles that explicitly mention that YOU MUST HAVE A PROFILE to even have a chance at obtaining a reply.

Most of society is shallow, especially younger people. But, I think women/girls are more guilty than men despite what has been previously asserted.

Women have very strict priorities so you must have looks, money, car, great job etc. etc. I suppose a lot of younger guys just require looks but aren't demanding the rest. However, I think this shallowness of men is being exploited by women the way they dress and the corporations that make money off shallow women who buy all the cosmetics, plastic surgery, clothing and other material possessions that are supposed to "improve" or "enhance" her outward appearance.

The best looking women are always more shallow than any other group.

It is no wonder that a lot of decent men complain and find that when pursuing confidence builders, there are always women they are interested in who want someone with more money or better looking.

The best solution is to improve yourself in other ways (like what was suggested) but what needs to be added is forcing an attitude change. You need to find your 'mode' and include some feeling of indifference. Don't compromise your values, bud.
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