| | Guys who say "Call me" in their first messagePage 1 of 10 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10) | I've been lucky enough to get quite a variety of responses since I put my profile up nearly two weeks ago. Still searching for "The one" but I'm sure he's out there somewhere.
Alot of the guys that write are nice, some not so nice, some write long thought out first messages and others barely write two words.
But one type of message that makes me wonder about what they were thinking is when a guy says "hello, my name is so and so, I liked your profile, my number is___Call me."
I'm thinking why would I call you without having said word one to you? I really prefer that a man call me the first time. Its just what I'm comfortable with, however I wont give my phone number until I have chatted with him several times and feel comfortable.
I don't understand men who have no problem giving their # to someone they have never spoken to before.
Anyway, I'm sure others get messages like this. To the women, do you ever actually call a guy who puts his number and little else in his first message to you or do you move on?
And guys, do you ever get women who do that? I would assume that there are alot fewer women sending those types of messages than men. But if you're a guy and a woman does send you her phone number on the first correspondence, will you take her up on it and give her a call? | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:00:07 AM | there are men out there who are either frustrated by or want to do an end-run around weeks of emailing a woman and not have it go anywhere. or maybe they can't type and don't want you to know they can't spell, either.
i understand that men don't want to be penpals, but i personally have no interest in talking on the phone to a man i've never met and don't know anything about except what he has on a dating profile.
it's your call. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:09:18 AM | | well said cowgirl. I wouldn't know what to say either. I have no patience with guys who want to circumvent the process of getting to know people. And these are the guys who generally start their message with "hello sexy" | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:16:48 AM | I'm thinking why would I call you without having said word one to you?
Maybe that works often enough for them. Given that the number of replies a guy gets compared with the number of messages he sends is not very high, no matter what he writes, it may not make that much difference to some or even a lot of guys. Who knows? I didn't do that, so I have no idea how well it works.
I don't understand men who have no problem giving their # to someone they have never spoken to before.
That's a different queston, but since I used a disposable dating phone, giving my number out was never a problem. Had I chosen to send messages like that, I could have sent my number to an axe muderess and it wouldn't have mattered.
But if you're a guy and a woman does send you her phone number on the first correspondence, will you take her up on it and give her a call?
I sure would have if I found her attractive. My goal was to meet women in person, not send endless numbers of messages back and forth. I had a disposable phone, so giving out my number wasn't a problem. If a woman wanted to go straight to the phone, why would I care? I was just that much further along to deciding whether or not to meet her and if so, setting up a date. Women rarely (if ever) sent their phone number on the first message, but exhanging numbers within a couple of messages was pretty common. I can't see much difference in getting a number on message 1 vs. message 3. From my point of view, the only reason I would have cared would have been if it took too long to get a phone number. Then, I dropped the conversation. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:32:44 AM | | Motown nailed it as usual, so need to repeat anything she said, but to answer your last question, if a woman sends me her number on the first email I delete it and her ,I will never call someone that sends a number on the first correspondence that tells me shes either desperate for someone or is too lazy to go through the sequence. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:34:09 AM | After the initial msg exchanges I prefer to talk on the phone because you get a much better sense of a person/can determine quicker if meeting in person might be worthwhile.
Why NOT make the process more efficient ??????
I sure would have if I found her attractive. My goal was to meet women in person, not send endless numbers of messages back and forth.
Exaaaaaaaaaaactly
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:35:21 AM | Motown nailed it as usual, so need to repeat anything she said, but to answer your last question, if a woman sends me her number on the first email I delete it and her ,I will never call someone that sends a number on the first correspondence that tells me shes either desperate for someone or is too lazy to go through the sequence.
^^^^hell yeah, i had to write to you for a year before you would even acknowledge me. i used to favorite you every week and you kept deleting me!!  i guess it didn't help that i thought offering to take you to kentucky fried chicken for dinner was the cheap inside track to your heart & soul.
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:36:17 AM | Maybe theyre just die hard Go West fans who cant stop talking about their favourite Go West song 
Personally I prefer We Close our Eyes. But each to their own I guess | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:38:22 AM | I have had far too many "pen pal" type exchanges that just faded away. Just this week, I sent an initial message, got an actual reply, and exchanged another 5 messages back and forth over the course of 2 days. Then I asked if she would like to meet for coffee after work, and she said "Let's just keep talking". So I asked if she would like to talk on the phone so I can hear her voice, and she declined. Guess what? This one is over.
Exchanging messages is only going to tell you so much. A phone conversation will tell you more in 10 minutes than 10 days of exchanging emails. And one brief initial meeting will tell you more than a lifetime of exchanging message. If you're not willing to actually meet someone, why are you on a dating site? To validate yourself by getting attention from men?
To get back on the original topic: The first email is probably too early for a phone number/ phone conversation. But fairly early, in my opinion, I am not looking for pen pals. | |
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hoyos
| | Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 11 | |
| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:47:12 AM | I haven't send my number in a first message but have received a few by first reply. Actually started a thread here about it wondering why women would do that. Needless to say, yes, I called since I already had an interest and used my regular phone since I have nothing to hide.
I don't understand men who have no problem giving their # to someone they have never spoken to before.
Probably just c/p spam. Send out 100 maybe 1 will actually call.
btw - I still like the red top without the beads pic better
ohenry: ...If you're not willing to actually meet someone, why are you on a dating site?
Probably the best question that everone should ask themselves. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:49:56 AM | Motown: It looks like you may have an opening there to offer to take him to KFC.
<div class='quote'> To the women, do you ever actually call a guy who puts his number and little else in his first message to you or do you move on?
No, I don't call, I move on.
When I signed on this morning one of the messages I had was basically this, " Hi, I'd like to take you to coffee or we can message until you feel comfortable with going."
He left out the part where I might have interest in going. Pushy does just that- pushes me away.
BTW, welcome to the forums. You'll find that you will get EVERYthing in your inbox. You can use filters and mail settings to give margin to who may contact you, etc.
vvv I don't think that mature people are afraid of the phone- js.
Most people I know these days have unlimited talk time.
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 8:06:54 AM | Yes I too have had too many email exchages that have gone nowhere as well. I prefer to move onto phone conversations and meeting in person sooner rather than later. If a woman sent me her phone number on a first message I would probably be suspicious, if it was after the first exchange I would return the call if I found her pictures, profile and first two emails attractive - it's a bit of a moot point because to date no woman has offered me her phone number before I have requested it and/or offered her mine.
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 8:27:36 AM | | I had a guy do that a couple of weeks ago. I was a little put off by it but decided to go ahead and give him a call. We've had 2 dates since and he seems to be a wonderful guy. I'm eagerly looking forward to date number 3! | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 8:33:41 AM | | i never call a guy who gives me a phone number right away because honestly i feel funny about it, like i don't know him at all. on the other hand i'm very private about giving out my phone number right away. i don't want some guy i hardly know and maybe decided i don't like to be calling me. i wwould rather talk online a little bit...and i don't mean endless e-mails either, then meet for coffee or a drink and i'll decide if i want to give my number out. just works for me. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 9:06:04 AM | I take my time, and wait until invited to call, and the woman gives me her number, and I will give her mine, so that she knows that it is me calling when I do.
Most times if feels better to email a few times, get to know each other, exchange more pictures to show who you really are, and maybe "cam" before exchanging phone numbers and calling to set up that meet and greet. It becomes a nightmare when you do not really know the person you are going to meet, and you find out that they are nothing like their profile and pictures, or you walk right past them because you did not recognize the person waiting for you.
To qualify this though..........If you really feel that you might have that attraction and possible chemistry, waiting weeks and weeks to get to the phone exchange and meet and greet, can just wear you down, so if you hit it off with a few emails, photo exchanges, and "cam", I say exchange numbers and set up that meeting as soon as possible!!
cd..........   | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 9:19:17 AM |
Anyway, I'm sure others get messages like this. To the women, do you ever actually call a guy who puts his number and little else in his first message to you or do you move on?
I would never call someone who gives me their number early on in email exchanges. In fact, when the phone number comes in a first email? I delete the email with no response. It takes me a long while to get to the phone stage of things. Giving it too early just reeks of desperation in my opinion. JMO  | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 9:56:42 AM | | This happens in real life too. My cousin was on the subway and didn't say a word to this one guy. When he got up to leave, he left a piece of paper on the seat next to her with his name and number. This is even more pathetic because anyone could pick it up and call him. But it's pathetic in any setting. I get a guy not wanting to have "pen pals," but in the FIRST EMAIL, where you don't even know her name or if she's really a guy in Nigeria? How desperate and sad! One time I got an email from a guy and it only had ten numbers strewn together and nothing else, no name or words or anything. I assumed it was his number, but there weren't even any dashes in it. That's not only pathetic, but lazy as well. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 9:58:58 AM |
But one type of message that makes me wonder about what they were thinking is when a guy says "hello, my name is so and so, I liked your profile, my number is___Call me."
I'm thinking why would I call you without having said word one to you?
Actually, neither of you have said anything until one of you hears a voice...
I really prefer that a man call me the first time. Its just what I'm comfortable with, however I wont give my phone number until I have chatted with him several times and feel comfortable.
Whoa! You just answered your own question. What a concept!
Isn't that sort of like saying, " I want to go there, but I refuse to drive, and I'll be damned if I let him drive.."
How are you supposed to get there then? Or maybe you just want to talk about going there, but don't ever really want to go?
Things that make one go hmmm... | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 10:11:11 AM | ''I don't understand men who have no problem giving their # to someone they have never spoken to before.''
I think the ones women should be wary about are the guys who WONT give out a phone number or if they do they give you just a mobile number - The reluctance to share numbers could be that one or both are married.
I Confess I have offered both my phone numbers (Home and mobile) as part of an initial email if I find the persons profile attractive BUT I have also said that by all means if they ring they can with hold their own number. I dont think its too forward and I dont lose any sleep over it if, instead there is an exchange of several mails before phone contact either way is made.
The reason I give my numbers out is simply because I dont have anything to hide plus some people do like to chat on the phone rather than keep mailing. Just because I provide it straight away doe not mean I am expecting a call straight away but its there IF they want it.
Everyone is different and I think your making a mistake discounting someone just because they have been forward enough to open up and give you an alternative contact method - Why not take it instead as a compliment that they guy is interested enough to give you the number ?
And sure IF I got a mail with a phone number and I was attracted to what I saw on the profile then sure I would ring. You can get a lot more out of a phone conversation than you can exchanging emails. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 10:36:56 AM |
I get a guy not wanting to have "pen pals," but in the FIRST EMAIL, where you don't even know her name or if she's really a guy in Nigeria? How desperate and sad!
What's pathetic and sad? I'm still in control of my life and if I didn't like what I heard on the phone, I didn't have to talk any more. The more opportunities I took advantage of, the more options I had to do the picking and choosing. I can always say no when I want to say no. Who cares if it's a guy from Nigeria? I could figure that out when I called and I used a disposable phone. Besides, if it was a guy from Nigeria, he's still going to be the same guy from Nigeria after a few messages. It could just as easily have been a nice woman who was clueless about internet dating.It was no risk to me to make a phone call. If I met 1 woman in 10, what's the difference if it was 1 in 11 or 2 in 11 apart from having 1 more option? Why would I care? It's a phone number, not a marriage proposal. | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 10:38:44 AM | I will never call someone that sends a number on the first correspondence that tells me shes either desperate for someone or is too lazy to go through the sequence.
I'm in the camp that believes giving me your number indicates that you are serious about dating ("real" dating) and too ambitious or busy to spend countless hours on emails and texting; when we can be sharing some eats and drinks and havinga good time in person.
i never call a guy who gives me a phone number right away because honestly i feel funny about it, like i don't know him at all
IN the olden days; didnt you take someones number so you DID get to know them?
I agree with those who say that you get a much better feel by phone, than in type.
so if you hit it off with a few emails, photo exchanges, and "cam"
Ya left out the important process screening methods of: Twitter, to Facebook, to Fedex, to Purolator, to texting on the phone before calling.
These are all vital parts of the process; so as not to end up dating a terrorist.
if it was a guy from Nigeria, he's still going to be the same guy from Nigeria after a few messages
And a hell of alot of wasted time. Heck; keep doing it by text and you may fall in love with 16 year old Jimmy from LilSprings Iowa! | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 11:18:21 AM | It goes both ways. I've been receiving a lot of telephone numbers on the first contact.
To me, it usually says she's either desperate to meet someone or is a scam of some sort to obtain ones own telephone number. Either way, I delete the email and block the user immediately.
I have a HUGE problem with exchanging personal information with someone I don't know, and my telephone number is unlisted for a reason. In addition, I don't give out my email address either, POF email system works just fine.
I only give a woman my personal information AFTER our initial meet & greet. Then and only then will I decide to share my personal contact information (i.e. telephone number, email, social network, etc). | |
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| Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 11:34:16 AM | I havent given my phone number out as a first contact but I will say I really perfer to get off the POF as soon as possible because communication in real life is so much more accurate in who you are dealing with and I dont just mean body type to photo, I mean the whole package of how a person communicates in real life.
well that and I think I am more charming in real life than my profile anyway :) | |
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