| | Am I broken or just a destroyed heart?Page 1 of 1 | Hey all, well Ive become kinda indifferent and trying to figure out my life out what i want in life. I found someone who really kinda woke me up i guess but after a long and emotional roller coaster, It started out as being friends that some how she had feelings for another friend long story short I was included into some stuff which I sort of wanted, something i had always wanted to try. he and her broke up and she and i got extremely close and we started doing things and treated each other like a bootie call but kept it somewhat dialed down. She asked me about my past one night so i told her the whole story over some pizza and she was shocked and couldn't and actually didn't believe me when i explained about my ex and things she did to me, after that we had a fallout and i was i guess extremely jealous i couldn't believe i trusted her like i did before.
now backing up my first girl friend used me to date a friend after basically destroying me in the process, she cheated and played around on me all the while young and naive at the age of 16 i didn't know better after all the thing i went through for her i finally just gave up and let it go, I still talk to her but i cannot and will not date her. i never dated anyone after her for over 6 years and i basically wanted nothing to do with women, the things that she did and said to me were enough to turn me almost crazy. I never trusted anyone after that and honestly i had almost no desire for having sex or other wise until recent.
I'm 23 now an i'm looking for a female, although i'm asking quite A lot from most i know its out there. I like hunting, fishing and camping but i also love dirt track racing, i'm kinda nerdy but i keep it to moderation, I'm a larger guy but i've begun changing myself i've lost nearly 100lbs in 8months of work and i'm looking to loose another 80 if possible more, I know i'm not confident and that's due to my past but i always am loyal. Something that seems to come up a lot from people (women i know and asked out recently) is how i'm to much of a nice guy and i'm not aggressive, i couldn't ever be anything more then a friend, but i don't want to do onto someone, as what was done to me.
soo i'm kinda confused am I broken ? or just lost and confused and suffering from the shock of what I dealt with in the past ? | |
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| Am I broken or just a destroyed heart?
Posted: 11/4/2011 1:05:42 PM | I don't know if you're broken hearted but you're definitely broken, lost and confused, you don't trust women because of ONE woman, that is truly sad, this isn't something you can change over night or by going out with a different woman
You to sit down with a qualified therapist that is a expert in that field, I suggest do it quickly or you will either repeat the same pattern or you'll end up with multiple cats, bitter and alone
Good for you for losing the weight but that just the outside, you need to fix the inside now, the emotional part Doesn't matter how much you lose, if you cant trust women, or has low self esteem guess what????????
Look at all the beautiful people in Hollywood, fit , trim,fame and money and they have problems in relationships, people think if they fix the outside that every thing will be fine, that is not how it works.
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| Am I broken or just a destroyed heart?
Posted: 11/4/2011 1:13:26 PM | | Thanks, I worded it wrong, i trust people but its very diffcult for me to let someone back into my life that way, and i agree fixing the outside is just 1/2 of the whole issue. just hoping to maybe find some more idea. | |
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| Am I broken or just a destroyed heart?
Posted: 11/4/2011 1:14:26 PM | I suggest working on yourself from within and let the work on the outside just tag along.
Not every relationship is going to be the same, but until you are 100% secure with yourself and I can see from this post you are not, you will continue to have issues .
We have all have * bad * things happen. I personally allow time to heal but do not feel every single person is going to do the same thing. What a miserable way to go through life. | |
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| Am I broken or just a destroyed heart?
Posted: 11/4/2011 1:38:18 PM | | I feel bad for you man. Dont get caught up in the past,let it be just that. Me and you are young and I feel we still have some growing to do. Which is good cause were not set in are ways and can still change bad habits. | |
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| Am I broken or just a destroyed heart?
Posted: 11/4/2011 3:03:29 PM |
she was shocked and couldn't and actually didn't
believe me when i explained about my ex and things she did to me.
Well some here would like to know exactly
what went on.....just for kicks I mean or to
learn from you youngsters....just in case we
hadn't seen it all here before ! :) | |
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| Am I broken or just a destroyed heart?
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:25:20 PM | Well i dont want to draw a nasty subject out in the open but since some are interested.
basically went like this one night she was home with a bunch of my buddy's whilst dating she said i couldn't come over right away but i could at a set time so i did, i walked into a 4-5 person orgy with most of them being what i had thought were my best friends, after that I left, and a few days went by she called and asked if i picked up the hint yet, i said yes but why couldn't she had just dumped me then did that, basically in a nut shell she gave me a bunch of these you suck in bed (i was a virgin till i met her...) I was tiny and a fat nasty grotesque person. i hung up on her, when i finally i wasnt upset or mad and logically was thinking i asked again why, she said that i was a loser and id never amount to anything in my entire life and told me to go die...
I hope that helps you understand a little bit of what happened... for any first time 16 year old, who honestly just met a girl barely 6 months into a relationship. i don't think i did anything wrong i never beat or hit her in fact just the opposite her last ex. pretty harsh i think, shes apologized now that we talk and seen the damage she caused she realized it was all for no reason she just simply wanted my friends what her excuse was.... | |
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| Am I broken or just a destroyed heart?
Posted: 11/9/2011 6:12:55 PM | | Oh my goodness, no , I absolutely do not think you are broken! I think you are just young. So much of what you talk about - making mistakes, experimenting with things you have been wondering about, trusting someone and regretting it, being cheated on...not that everyone necessarily goes through every single thing that you have or in exactly the same way, but - wow! Your late teens and early twenties: those are such turbulent times! You haven't lived long enough to have the experience to know that you can have your heart broken, and it can be the worst pain you have ever felt...but it will get better. It always does. And in time, you definitely will love another woman and she will love you. Not that you can't ever have your heart broken again...but if you do, you will know down deep that the hurt is not forever. As you have more experience, your confidence will start to grow, BECAUSE you will be learning what things do and do not work for you; you will, as a result, start making better choices, and you will vastly increase the possibility of finding true and lasting love with someone who wants the same things in life that you do. You are on your way already, losing all that weight, knowing the importance of loyalty...so much more. Please - never give up on love and never, ever give up on yourself! My very best wishes to you and to the life ahead of you. | |
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| Am I broken or just a destroyed heart?
Posted: 11/9/2011 9:31:28 PM | Wow! Do you realize you are not the broken person? The girl that thought so little of herself to do what she did is the one that is broken. She is cruel and yes, you were a victim, but not broken. That was one person, you can't live your life as a victim, I am sure you learned a lot from that experience and know what red flags to watch for. You are now older and wiser so put it in your past, not your present or your future.  | |
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yna6
| | Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 10 | |
| Am I broken or just a destroyed heart?
Posted: 11/9/2011 9:49:59 PM | errr...at 16??? I wouldn't be too worried about it. Don't allow such things to emotionally scar you...take it as a life lesson and move on. Why bother with somehting some dumb kid pulled? Grow up and mature a bit....get out there...be happy!
I almost allowed some one to pull much the same stunt...keeping me down and such things....some friends you can do without.
Now, I choose my friends a wee bit more carefully.
Hope you choose those you allow into your life a bit more carefully too.... | |
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| Am I broken or just a destroyed heart?
Posted: 11/10/2011 2:47:30 AM | An abusive relationship (yup, she used abusive behaviour and words towards you) can leave deep wounds. You've acknowledged that the things she said and did to you were wrong and it's okay to say, downright ugly.
The good thing is, you've learned about some behaviours that you definitely don't want as part of a relationship. There are likely some really great things that you DO want in a relationship.
Since a number of years have passed since the relationship, and you are having difficulty moving forward, it's really important that you spend some time with a behavioural specialist to help you move through your confusion and set some attainable goals so that you can feel successful on your journey.
I wish you every happiness!
MrsF | |
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| Am I broken or just a destroyed heart?
Posted: 11/10/2011 5:02:45 PM | | Man forget about that b!tch your way better than her,and trust me you can find way better. She's a peice of $hit for what she did to you. | |
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