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 sydneylady1
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 1
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men who cant help staring at other womenPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
what is wrong with men today. why do they have the need to stare at other women while they have one next to them? this is the problem i had with my prior boyfriend. we go out clubbing he would sit there and disect every woman that took his fancy and just stare at them. we go out for lunch he would do the same. what is wrong with this type of man. do they do this cause they are not happy with the women they are with? he kept on justisfing his behaviour that its harmless and that his been doing it all his life. can someone shed some light to this kind of behaviour.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 2
men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/6/2011 9:03:55 PM
Men stare at women because they can. Women stare at men.

My husband would do this too, early on it bothered me but then I started pointing out the good looking or large breasted ones to him and we had a laugh about it all. He realized what he was doing and we laughed at the silliness of it all. The thing is, he was in my bed every night.

I was walking down the street the other day to buy a coffee, there were 3 gals about 25 or 30 years old walking and yapping along behind me. Then this young guy about 30 years old jogged by, he was drop dead georgeous, great arms, flat stomach, did I mention drop dead gorgeous. I stared at him and then I turned around for more of a look when he went past me. By now the 3 girls behind me had shut up their yapping and were staring too, and they turned around to have a better look. Then they saw me looking, I saw them looking and we all burst out laughing and I said "doesn't hurt to look" and one of the gals said "it sure doesn't, especially when he looks like that".

It's human nature to look. If you don't like it you can mention it to your guy but it won't stop him from looking. You may just have to lighten up and adopt a "so what, he's with me" attitude.
 free4all131220
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 3
men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/6/2011 9:44:00 PM
what's wrong with men TODAY??
do you think this is a recent phenomenon(sp?)? I bet if you asked your grandma you'd find out that men have been doing this for a long time.

sorry we don't mean anything against you but, it's just our nature. The ones that don't have just managed to control their impulse to look, the rest of us just enjoy the view.
baskin robbins has a lot of ice cream flavors, and just because you have your favorite flavor doesn't mean those others don't look good
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 4
men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/6/2011 9:46:45 PM
OP, some men stare and others have better manners and sneak looks when you aren't watching :P

 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 5
men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/6/2011 10:06:30 PM
A smart guy with class will look quickly enough for you not to notice. I've never been involved with a man who felt the need to stare at other women whilst out and about with me. Have had a couple random dates where the guy stared or gawked. Date over. Next.
 redgirl6
Joined: 11/24/2008
Msg: 6
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men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/6/2011 10:39:47 PM
I had the same problem with my ex. I found it very disrepectful and it upset me a lot. He would even turn his back on me if we were out (I find that so lame and totally rude) he never changed and I don't believe he ever will. He even admitted to having secret meets (should of dumped him a long time ago) I am alone now and it;s very off putting. I wouldn't mind the odd glance but to stare continously and smile whilst ya sat with them is disgusting. They need a slap or a cold glass of beer in their lap lol
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 7
men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/7/2011 6:49:50 AM

A smart guy with class will look quickly enough for you not to notice. I've never been involved with a man who felt the need to stare at other women whilst out and about with me. Have had a couple random dates where the guy stared or gawked. Date over. Next.


I will no longer date stupid classless men, LOL- agree w/ the above!!!
Of course we look, but don't do it while out w/ someone else
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 8
men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/7/2011 6:54:41 AM
I used to never look at other women when I had a girlfriend. However, my fiancee seemed to think I was doing that one night when I was staring off into space and she said, ``I don't care if you look as log as you don't touch.'' I still don't stare at women, but now I do look and it's never caused a problem. She looks at hot guys and it doesn't bother me. I know she would never go after one of them.
 TimeFlies24
Joined: 10/9/2011
Msg: 9
men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/7/2011 6:56:22 AM
A man that will stare at another woman when his woman is sitting right next to him is a very disrepectful and rude man. Glancing at a woman is one thing, but to obviously stare at another woman is very disrespectful. You should dump him quickly. He does not care about your feelings. I wonder how he would feel if you stared at some man while he was standing right there drooling over how good looking he is. It's almost as if he is trying to make you feel as if you aren't as good as these women by doing this. He should be staring and thinking abot you while u're out, not other people.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 10
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men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/7/2011 6:58:35 AM
I wouldn't have a problem with looking. It's normal to notice attractive people for both men and women, and it's also normal to want to look at attractive people. I myself like to look at both attractive men AND women much more than unattractive ones.

Now STARING is a different matter. That IS being rude to the one you are with.

In my opinion, it also means that he's not that into you. When I'm with my sweetheart, I get the strong sense that he's not really taking too much notice of the other women around because he is so focused on me.
 free4all131220
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 11
men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/7/2011 7:19:20 AM
to add to my own response.

If you catch your guy staring, or even just checking out some other girl while you're talking to them, maybe you should change the topic. Most guys really don't want to hear your girl gossip, save it for your girlfriends, it'd be like a guy sharing the details of the football game he just saw, a conversation more suitable for his buddies.

but if you want to turn the tables on the subject of rude, how 'bout taking a lady to a club or bar, and she knows every guy in the place and seems to find a conversation with all of them except the guy she came with(yes voice of experience).. If she's bored by him why did she go with him? I admit I'm boring, but that is just rude.
 stargazin53
Joined: 11/9/2010
Msg: 12
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men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/7/2011 7:26:06 AM
^^^agreeing with Lilli on this one. The acceptance of it and teasing each other about how our partner "just naturally" looks...is a bit different from that near-slobbery-drool look. Just plain rude/insensitive when you're on a date with and getting to know someone. Otherwise, sure, playfully cuff him lightly on the shoulder (or back of the head) to help the poor soul focus. .....ah,we humans
 NewYorkbiker
Joined: 2/10/2011
Msg: 13
men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/7/2011 7:28:25 AM
When me and my ex would go boating, she would always point out hot looking girls wearing almost nothing. Of course I would look at where she was pointing to, and then she would get mad because I was looking....
As for staring at other women when I am with someone, if I am with someone that I really like, my focus is 100% on her...I could care less about anyone else around us...
That is one of the ways that I really know how interested I am into someone....
If I am on a first meet/date with someone that I am not feeling anything, my adhd kicks in and my mind and my eyes do tend to wander....I don't mean to be rude, I have a hard time focusing on someone that I know is not going to work out...
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 14
people who cant help staring at other opposite sex people
Posted: 11/7/2011 7:52:51 AM
people who cant help staring at other opposite sex people...ok both genders do it...both are wrong, a quick glance is ok, we all are human- but to gawk is a no-no. On a 1st meet a man who stares @ other women...I'm outta there.

Anyone I've ever been in a relationship with- when we were OUT TOGETHER we had eyes only 4 eachother. The youngest best looking BF I ever had (he looks like Bethanny Frankel's husband, Jason Hoppy) wouldn't notice if Pam Anderson was naked w/ her legs spread open when he was me...because we loved eachother!!!

But even if I was on a coffee meet w/ Quasimodo, while I was w/ him, he'd get my FULL attention. People show us their true colors/character, I just think we often choose to ignore the signals.
 pirateheaven
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 15
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men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/7/2011 7:54:11 AM
A gentleman will not look at other women when in the presence of their date. They will wait until she goes to the ladies room.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 16
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men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/7/2011 8:03:40 AM
Just teach your man to stare like most women do, in that subtle way that still gets the job done and no one is the wiser, unless you want them to be!!

Just a matter of class and knowing how to do it right.......and most women know when we look at them in subtle ways, because they are looking at us the same way!! There is no doubt when we walk in the room, that most will take a look, if attractive, or to at least decide if they are worth looking at or not.

This is very much like love making, some know how to do it well and learn from their partners, and some just grab and do what they want, and never learn.....

cd..........
 errant71
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 17
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men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/7/2011 8:09:29 AM
Personally I'd just as soon he stare his heart out ... as long as it produces the obvious 'results'. Then I can take him home and reap the obvious benefits.

Just sayin'
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 18
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men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/7/2011 8:10:52 AM
Mr. Deac? You never mentioned that you knew about us wimmins trade secret?

OT: Everyone looks at attractive humans. Male and female both. But as Deacon says, it is done discreetly. To blantantly stare at someone to the point where both the object of your stare and your date are uncomfortable is totally not cool!
I think it is a hoot to watch some fellas on the street literally "drool" over a woman who catches their eye! And they really do think they are not being obvious!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 19
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men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/7/2011 8:18:57 AM
And what does it mean when the woman you are with starts going on about the features of an attractive female she noticed?

Me, I wish I had been more observant from the detailed description delivered......
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 20
men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/7/2011 8:59:45 AM
Any man who stares at other women when he is with his lady, is a cretin and isn't worthy of your time. And for him to say he's always been like that and will continue to be that way is even more insulting. There is a big difference between looking at an attractive person and appreciating their appearance and gawking at someone. I, too, enjoy looking at attractive men and women but a brief glance is all it is. When I'm with my guy, I don't even notice other men at all. My focus is completely on him and his focus is on me... which is where we both like it to be. LOL
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 21
men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/7/2011 10:45:32 AM

Any man who stares at other women when he is with his lady, is a cretin and isn't worthy of your time. And for him to say he's always been like that and will continue to be that way is even more insulting. There is a big difference between looking at an attractive person and appreciating their appearance and gawking at someone.


Indeed I went out to dinner with a man that was gawking.. It was our first and last date even though she was half clad.. lol

nativerock
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 22
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men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/7/2011 10:54:14 AM
Some of the women posting here are really "wound up too tight". Does the expression "8 day clock" ring any bells?

Lighten up, life is supposed to be fun. I have dated several women over the years who appreciated an attractive person, of either sex. They would look at the attractive people, and point out the attractive women to me (knowing I wasn't interested in the men). And I enjoyed their company MUCH more than the ones who were "wound up too tight".
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 23
men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/7/2011 12:00:15 PM

Lighten up, life is supposed to be fun


Oh then make it fun and do not oogle young girls.. I personally think it is a little sick.. Maybe they were pointing out attractive women to you, to point you in another direction who knows..

nativerock
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 24
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men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/7/2011 2:40:01 PM
"Lighten up, life is supposed to be fun."

I have had a lot of fun in my life. Never have I had a relationship where the person I was with or myself ever had a reason to stare at members of the opposite sex.

I don't have friends who stare at members of the opposite sex.............never did.

Never knew we aren't fun or normal.
 TimeFlies24
Joined: 10/9/2011
Msg: 25
men who cant help starring at other women
Posted: 11/7/2011 2:56:17 PM
I dont see how requring your man to respect you labels you as tighly wound. People have away a doing that these days. They will justify their disrespectful behavior and questions by labeling people uptight. Oh you don't want to go to strip clubs with your man, you're uptight. You don't want to have a threesome, you're uptight. hahah. funny
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