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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > How do you approach someone on POF that wants to "meet you"?      Home login  
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 OtisIII
Joined: 9/25/2011
Msg: 1
How do you approach someone on POF that wants to "meet you"?Page 1 of 1    
Hey everyone. I know this might be random but, how do you approach someone on POF that wants to "meet you"? Do you get to know them for a little bit, talk to them about possibly meeting up, exchange numbers and/or e-mail and maybe Facebook, and then try to set up a meeting/possible date, or do you just ignore them, and that's it?

The reason I ask this is because there have been about 4 or 5 women on POF so far, who want to "meet me". There are a few of them I wouldn't mind meeting in person. I e-mailed them a little bit, and I guess/hope that I'm friends with them but I haven't set up a meeting with any of them yet. A couple of them live a little far away, so I sadly might not be able to meet them in person, especially since I don't really go to their area. Hopefully I can stay friends with them, whether I meet up with them or not.

This other girl lives not too far away, probably like half an hour or so away, if you drive. I wouldn't mind actually meeting her in person since I could probably get to her area, or somewhere close to her area, via public transportation, if me and her were to meet up near her area. Hopefully she wouldn't mind coming to the city, should me and her meet here in San Francisco..... She also seems like a cool girl. She says she's goofy, but she just wants happiness. She seems like she would be my type though; not really fast in terms of wanting just to have sex, but she appears to be a fun girl overall. Why not set up a meeting with her, right?

But yeah, how would/how do/how have you approached someone on POF that wants to "meet you"? Thanks!..... I'll admit, I've clicked on the "meet me" thing for women that I wanted to meet or was somewhat interested in, but nothing happened out of that, sadly. They didn't write me back. Ugh. But yeah, I wanted to see how you guys approach people on POF that want to "meet you". Thanks again!

Otis
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 2
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How do you approach someone on POF that wants to meet you?
Posted: 11/15/2011 6:51:41 PM
I don't anymore. I replied with messages to the first few women who clicked "meet me" and they never replied. So I no longer respond, since it's pretty much useless. I still haven't figured out the purpose of such a thing on a free dating website.
 tlw9191
Joined: 2/20/2011
Msg: 3
How do you approach someone on POF that wants to meet you?
Posted: 11/15/2011 7:06:41 PM
The meet me function is useless I usually never get a reply if I send them a message after they click yes, and if they do they usually disappear after a few messages anyway.
 Wh1te_Rabb1t
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 4
How do you approach someone on POF that wants to meet you?
Posted: 11/15/2011 8:26:08 PM
"Meet Me" is POF's version of what the "Wink" is on Match.com or - basically it's just a way to tell someone, "Hey, look at Me." It holds very little value.

If you go through the 'Meet Me' menu yourself, and see someone you'd like to meet - don't just click 'Yes' - take the time to look at their profile. They will know you viewed their profile AND said 'Meet Me' at the same time, which is slightly better than clicking 'Meet Me' but not bothering to read their profile. Don't expect instant responses, because it just doesn't happen - but getting them to look at you is probably half the battle.
 coastalmermaid
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 5
How do you approach someone on POF that wants to meet you?
Posted: 11/15/2011 8:52:07 PM
When POF first added the "meet me" feature I made contact with a few of the profiles I found somewhat interesting, however, since none of them replied I figured they really weren't interested in actually ever meeting. No one on this long list has ever sent me an email saying hello, not even the local guys. It's a complete waste of time for me.
 devonbrown1
Joined: 9/29/2011
Msg: 6
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How do you approach someone on POF that wants to meet you?
Posted: 11/16/2011 11:26:06 AM
I agree with the response that said the "meet me" function is basically like a "wink" on other dating sites. Unless you have some communication with that person, I wouldn't make too much out of it.

Good luck.
 Puppydog54
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 7
How do you approach someone on POF that wants to meet you?
Posted: 11/16/2011 1:27:21 PM
I agree with the others... pretty much a waste of time. But if you do find a woman that catches your eye, check out her profile and email her. Don't just click "yes" you want to meet her
 egowitch
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 8
How do you approach someone on POF that wants to meet you?
Posted: 11/16/2011 1:40:17 PM
If you're interested in someone - you can always say something like :

" I got an email saying you'd like to meet me - and after reading about you , the feeling's mutual - what do you think , still interested ?"

As for myself, I really don't like that feature. I've found that most of the people clicking on "Meet Me", are simply responding to the photos they see. They don't bother to read a profile - thus most are too far away - in distance and/or lifestyle, or both !

If someone is really interested in meeting me, I much prefer that they take a little time to read my profile, then write something in relation to it. Much warmer that way !
 menofish
Joined: 11/11/2011
Msg: 9
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How do you approach someone on POF that wants to meet you?
Posted: 11/16/2011 6:57:11 PM
Agreed 100%. When I get the "so and so wants to meet you", and no message, I don't think too much of it. You need to take the time to write something meaningful.
 stableckingsame
Joined: 1/28/2010
Msg: 10
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How do you approach someone on POF that wants to meet you?
Posted: 7/20/2013 11:22:53 AM
Its always worked fine for me you must be doing something wrong..
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 11
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How do you approach someone on POF that wants to meet you?
Posted: 7/20/2013 1:14:58 PM

" I got an email saying you'd like to meet me - and after reading about you , the feeling's mutual - what do you think , still interested ?"

Yep, that's what I'd do.
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 12
How do you approach someone on POF that wants to meet you?
Posted: 7/20/2013 7:13:39 PM
Meet Me is crap. 1 of the women who claimed they wanted to "meet me" had I don't date black men on her profile
The rest are a bunch of single mothers ha!
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 13
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How do you approach someone on POF that wants to meet you?
Posted: 7/20/2013 7:19:18 PM
The meet me feature is annoying, I get so many email alerts to every moron who wants to meet me...ugh. If someone can't take a few minutes to write a few sentences that aren't "hi sexy" or "hello how are you" or just "hi", then I can't be bothered. This feature appeals to the lazy and shopper mentality who are only making the effort of a click.

I don't use it, never have, never will and I won't respond to anyone who does.
 Space_Weaver
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 14
How do you approach someone on POF that wants to meet you?
Posted: 7/21/2013 1:52:39 AM
It's a sham. I used to message some that did the whole meet me thing, but got no responses.

+1 Bucs.

If someone can't articulate something more than a hi, or is unable to reciprocate in meaningful conversation, then I don't waste my time. A lot of time wasters on PoF.
 theusmale
Joined: 6/29/2013
Msg: 15
How do you approach someone on POF that wants to meet you?
Posted: 7/21/2013 6:11:09 PM
Some of the people who show up in your "meet me" page have said "yes", others just "maybe". It's hit-and-miss.

Go ahead and send a message to those people and ask a couple of questions to start a conversation. Some are real and genuinely interested.

This is a great feature ("favorites", and winks for women also, ) that encourages women to make the first move where they otherwise might never have. The more people we have initiating contact, the more matches can be made... and that's a good thing.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 16
How do you approach someone on POF that wants to meet you?
Posted: 7/21/2013 6:14:38 PM
I just write a very brief note that says, "thanks for the add" - if I like their profile.

If they respond, we might have a conversation and (gasp) actually meet if there's mutual interest. If not, meh - it's no skin off my nose.
 Jerilyn
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 17
How do you approach someone on POF that wants to meet you?
Posted: 7/21/2013 10:10:33 PM
I was on match.com once and liked the "wink" feature... it was actually useful. If they winked and I winked back or vise versa, then you knew right away they were interested in conversation and it ALWAYS led to one.... the "meet me" feature, on the other hand, is useless.... people just randomly click on it and it doesn't seem to mean anything or lead to anything... I think POF should get rid of it and replace it with the "wink."
 NewYorkFan1
Joined: 6/30/2013
Msg: 18
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How do you approach someone on POF that wants to meet you?
Posted: 7/22/2013 12:47:30 AM
Just got reading thru this topic and I was in agreement with what everyone was saying about "meet me" and found it pretty much a waste.
Did have a conversation and a meet with one person that added me to her meet me, but that was only once.

Was having no luck falling asleep tonite so I decided to go thru some of the meet me profiles, I hit yes on one, tried putting my head back on the pillow for some much needed sleep, and within 15 mins I got an email notification that someone messaged me... And yes, it was someone that I had hit yes to..
I am thinking now that the "meet me" feature is not 100% scam, there is a small amount of validity to it...
Again, it is just part of a numbers game when it comes to online dating...
 jessebunnies
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 19
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How do you approach someone on POF that wants to meet you?
Posted: 7/22/2013 7:11:17 AM
I rarely use the meet me feature. In fact it says so in my profile so pretty much you have to send a message if you want to meet. I did use it once and clicked meet me and he wrote back which resulted in a date so I guess it's not a total failure. But generally if they don't send me a message I don't bother with it.

My advise is to email them on here and see where it goes. I wouldn't jump to private emails, phone ect or social media till a ways down the road. After talking you might find out you don't want to meet any of them.
 BabblingBrookes
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 20
How do you approach someone on POF that wants to meet you?
Posted: 7/22/2013 7:38:40 AM
I used the "Meet Me" function incorrectly when I first joined POF. I thought it was a way for POF to create an algorithm to improve their matching system. I didn't realize it would actually flag me as wanting to meet that person. Oops. :)

Thankfully, one of the guys I clicked sent me a message and mentioned the "Meet Me" feature. I explained I had misunderstood its function and apologized for the confusion. Irritating function since you can already alert someone that you're interested. :\
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 21
How do you approach someone on POF that wants to meet you?
Posted: 7/22/2013 9:00:33 AM

I replied with messages to the first few women who clicked "meet me" and they never replied. So I no longer respond, since it's pretty much useless. I still haven't figured out the purpose of such a thing on a free dating website.

Well, here's one way it could be useful, while also getting rid of the "wink". Years ago Hot or Not did this, and I actually think Especially on a Free site, this would be good (with all women complaining about getting msgs from guys they don't like & guys complaining about spending too much time writing to girls who don't reply):

- In order to write someone, there should be a mutual "Yes" of something like the "Meet Me" feature
- They could re-name it "Interested" feature
- With a mutual match, THEN you can write each other
- It could at least be an Option for women (and men) to have
- Women won't get suppressed by crazy emails from crazy dudes
- Guys won't waste their time writing poetry to gals out of their league, realizing it's a waste of time

It'd make better use of everyone's time, IMO. There would be less message traffic, but I also think more attractive women wouldn't be as put off about keeping an account on here either -- so it'd preserve people's active memberships.
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