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 rameninstantnoodle
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 1
What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I recently had a friend who is experienced on POF telling me that after dating a while, you pick up on the signals to indicate the guy you're dating is mostly interested in sex, rather than a long term relationship. Can anyone tell what these signals are?

Reason is, every single one of the guys I've dated on here so far since the summer (other than the first few asians) have lured me back to their place somehow after the first or second date, and tried having sex with me. :-( I know i'm the type that's passive and rarely takes initiative, and likes checking out other people's condos, but how can I handle it better on future dates without offending the person? I am genuinely looking for a long term relationship leading to marriage.
 BegrabMeinHerz
Joined: 10/10/2011
Msg: 2
What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 2:02:56 AM
If your friend was so experienced on POF he or she should already know those signals and share them with you. Unless a man comes out and says he wants to have sex there is no way of knowing what he is thinking.
 Don Quijote 2.0
Joined: 1/11/2009
Msg: 3
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What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 2:57:57 AM
If a guy invites you back to his place on the first or second date then there is a good chance he might try to escalate things sexually. If that's the case then your willingness to go back to his place will be seen as sexual interest.

Don't go back to their place!

However just because you have sex on the first or second date doesn't preclude marriage down the road. Lots of people who have sex on the first or second date wind up getting married later, it's been known to happen.
 Kitten189
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 4
What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 3:40:04 AM

NOTE : I AM NOW LOOKING FOR A MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL SUGAR-DADDY ARRANGEMENT DUE TO FINANCIAL NEED


^^ Op,this is the FIRST line in your Profile.
So,what do you expect
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 5
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What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 3:52:42 AM
Well, here's a hint - if a guy is contacting you, he's either interested in (only) sex, or interested in a long-term (sexual) relationship/marriage. The key commonality there is, regardless of whether he's interested in an LTR/marriage or not, he's hoping sex comes into the picture. He's probably not interested in dating you or being married to you for the next 20 years without sex. Hint here would be, if he's met you, didn't run screaming into the night, and he's going on a 2nd date with you, or inviting you to his home/condo, he's probably interested in sex with you. An LTR may or may not be involved in that thinking.

So then the question is, is he interested in an LTR/marriage or not. Your profile says you are 34... have you never dated in your life? I mean, you go out - in real life - to say a bar or a club, and a guy walks up and asks you to dance - is he interested in sex or a LTR? And, if you go home with him that night, what do you expect might happen? Why would you think meeting someone on POF would be that much different? 34 years old, and you haven't figured how, in real life (not even on POF), how to handle this?
 atwilliams24
Joined: 4/9/2011
Msg: 6
What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 3:53:02 AM
I agree with the above post. The way you present yourself in your profile seems like you want sex. Also the profile picture, hot though it may be, will probably attract a lot of guys who think you want sex.

Apart from that, there's the usual signs of being invited back after the first date or being called at random hours of the evening to ask if you fancy coming over to "watch a movie" or something like that.

Hope this helps.
 4everRadiant
Joined: 1/16/2011
Msg: 7
What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 4:00:16 AM
How can you handle things better on future dates?

First and foremost, decide about the type of man you truly wish to attract and date. If it is a "sugar daddy," I think you're going to run into the same scenario, time after time.

Anyway, people generally don't "somehow get lured" back to someone else's place without allowing themselves to be.

How and why are you allowing yourself to "be lured" given your stated experience that this eventuates in an attempt to have sex with you, which is an experience you indicate you don't honestly want?

You state you're passive and do not take initiative. Work on assertiveness skills to counteract your passivity and to learn how to take initiative. If you honestly don't want to go back to a man's place when asked, simply say something to the effect of "thank you, but I'm comfortable here" ... wherever you're out on your date.

I'm not sure why you think it would "offend" a guy if you said you'd be more comfortable staying where you are rather than going back to his place. Would the men you typically date be offended if you said "no thank you, I'd rather not?"

If that's the case, start choosing men who *wouldn't get offended.* If you're with a gentleman, he'll respect whatever it is that makes you comfortable.

**Yet, I'm not sure how you're necessarily going to find a gentleman when your profile states (IN CAPS) that you're seeking a sugar daddy. Seriously, figure out what you want. If you want a sugar daddy than that's what you'll get...
a daddy who will give you what you want financially as long as you give him some sugar.**
 Fishingbait
Joined: 8/20/2007
Msg: 8
What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 4:10:59 AM
he would look like me...
 PoeticPatriot
Joined: 10/12/2011
Msg: 9
What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 4:16:35 AM
Every guy is only interested in sex, but we'll pretend to be interested in other things if it'll get us some sex.
 Melannie1
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 10
What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 4:21:31 AM
Hi rameninstantoodle! I think you already know some of the signals as you stated "have lured me back to their place somehow after the first or second date, and tried having sex with me". It sounds to me you know what they are after when they 'lure' you. Try and be a little more assertive with these males and tell them what you want ie. a long term relationship that eventually leads to marriage. It is not about offending others when you are assertive, it is about setting boundaries on what you would like to achieve with a potential parnter. Some may run the other way others may not... It is all about you and what you want rameninstantoodle..M.
 Euroalex
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 11
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What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 4:25:36 AM
you can test / filter guys by sayig,

"in my culture, dates have to wait 1 full moon cycle before you can kiss a girl, and 3 full moon cycles before a man and a woman can have sex"

than the guy interested in sex bail out, because they thik of energy perspective, not worth waiting....
than the ones who are intrested, stay....

you also dont scream away normal serious guys, "waiting until marriage" is viewed as extreme, becuase oe would want to "try a car before buying".

sure eve after 3 moon cycles, a lot of me are to evaporate, and by than as you have feelings for them, you may be heartbroken....

I am sure that you know: love is risky, there is no perfect protection for your heart!

just do what you are comfortable with, and what works for you!
 114M3
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 12
What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 4:29:48 AM

What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?


#1) He is a heterosexual man.
#2) He has a p*nis.

Really OP you're asking this question yet at the same time posting scantily clad pics on your profile and stating that you're looking for a "mutually beneficial" sugar daddy? ...
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 13
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What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 4:34:48 AM
I think YOU are the one that you have to look at closely, OP. You find you can't trust yourself? That's because you don't actually believe in something that you are doing. Looking for a "sugar daddy," means that you are trying to find someone to buy financial security from, using yourself as the medium of exchange. A woman who establishes herself with a "sugar daddy," has essentially declared herself to be a prostitute with an exclusive contract.

Perhaps the problem is, that you don't want to think if yourself as a prostitute for hire, even though your stated goal is exactly that. As soon as the guy goes for sex, it triggers your fear that sex is ALL he wants from you, so you panic.

I think you will have this problem as long as you insist on trying to turn emotional pleasure into a source of income.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 14
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What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 5:17:46 AM
NOTE : I AM NOW LOOKING FOR A MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL SUGAR-DADDY ARRANGEMENT DUE TO FINANCIAL NEED
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
ironic how a guy might want sex from you, huh?????



Maybe he is just wanting to sample the goods before making a commitment ( however long or short term) ??? ever thought of that ? If this is what you want, your going to have to accept sampling the goods is part of the relationship you want.
Seems the issue may be how much money for the sugar? for some men, they see a dinner as enough payment. Your issue is maybe just a disagreement on price. Your basically prostituting yourself and not getting the price you seek.. just my feelings of where your problem lies.
 ro1970
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 15
What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 6:07:12 AM
I can usually tell within the first 10 minutes of a conversation what a man is truly after.

If they start in about it from the get go, then it's time to end the conversation, wish them well, delete, and block.

Just hone in your skills of your B.S. detector and you will not have a problem.

OP, I also looked at your profile and the first line of it is SCREAMS prostitution. - money for sex.......which is probably WHY you are getting come-ons and disrepectful men chasing after you. and by the way, put some clothes on before you take pics for your profile, and STOP playing the victim.

If you are in need of a certain income....get a job.....or 2 or 3 if needed. - that's how we do that in America and/or Canada.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 16
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What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 6:30:54 AM
God. What a bullshit thread.

Your first line of your profile says it all.

You want money. They want sex. You want
money. They want sex.

I think this thread was made with the intention
of putting yourself out there to the masses and
the sugar daddys that read the forums.

You want money- if it involves some kitty
I'm sure, your willing to do what it takes.

Meeting theses guys to go checking out thier
condos? Sounds like you are sizing
these guys up before the kitty purrs.

Your worried about signals a guy puts out for sex-
I think the guy should be worried about the signals
you put out about his bank account.
 ro1970
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 17
What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 7:05:26 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

what curly said! you go girl!

 scurvy_little_spider
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 18
What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 7:10:28 AM
When I read a question that (to me) appears to have a screamingly obvious answer, I suspect it's some troll's idea of a funny prank, to see who will bite.

In case not --

Your clothes and text (as said above) are signals that your primary focus is on sex.

Take all that out of your profile *if* this is a serious question. Baiting the hook with sexiness, then complaining when you catch the sexfish makes less than zero sense.

You can easily present yourself as attractive without being provocative.

As to the signals the guy will give that he's interested in you mostly for sex -- for starters would be: talking about sex; luring you back to his place.

Does he sound interested in what you have to say? Does he ever ask you even one question about yourself? Is he calling all the shots (where to meet, what the date will be, what to eat and drink) or is he relating to you as his equal? Surely you can tell the difference.

edit: ^^ Rats. Agree. Curly is probably calling it right. I didn't at first attach significance to the mention of being passive, either.
 AreaMan63
Joined: 8/30/2011
Msg: 19
What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 7:32:13 AM
Maybe you should post some less revealing pictures. I hate it when women try to use their sexuality to lure a man into a commitment. If you want a long-term committed relationship, try posting some more conservative pics.

The first thing I noticed when I looked at your profile, is how you're blatantly selling your sexuality, yet that's not really your intent, is it?

Sync up your pics with your intent and there will be much less confusion on everyone's part.
 infinestforum
Joined: 7/21/2011
Msg: 20
What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 7:34:23 AM
Just make sure they bring their portfolio's on the date to assess the fupability factor before you go back to the condo to assess how suitable this situation may be. That should alleviate any awkward moments when you go condo shopping and find out the neighbors cooked cabbage that night.

What would your mother say if she saw your profile!?

Iffy
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 21
What are the signals to indicate the gal is interested in you mostly for money?
Posted: 11/26/2011 7:40:15 AM
i would say the answer to your profoundly intellectual ramen noodly question is any guy would contact you based on what you've written in your profile. what? seems like a fair trade.
 christyis4real
Joined: 7/6/2011
Msg: 22
What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 8:14:16 AM
I don't know what is ultimately going through a guys head at all times, but something that I consider a bit of a red flag while on this dating site is when a guy asks "so..do you wanna meet up" after only 1 message. They also don't seem too interested in getting to know me. 1st message would be "Hi..how are you. love your pics" Second message after I respond to them usually is "That's great...you wanna meet up tonight?"

HUGE red flag in my mind and I will then ignore them. Usually if I don't answer back, they don't even try to "talk" to me anymore.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 23
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What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 8:32:38 AM

Sync up your pics with your intent and there will be much less confusion on everyone's part.


I think she has AreaMan.


You want money- if it involves some kitty
I'm sure, your willing to do what it takes.

Meeting theses guys to go checking out thier
condos? Sounds like you are sizing
these guys up before the kitty purrs.


Curlygrl has it there - and I'm guessing their condo's (and wallets) didn't 'size up' to her 'requirements'.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 24
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What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 8:41:14 AM
For crying out loud, people, quit feeding the TROLL! This is a blatant advertisement, she is seeking attention so she can find the highest bidder for her sexual services. Plain and simple. Look at her profile
 infinestforum
Joined: 7/21/2011
Msg: 25
What are the signals to indicate the guy is interested in you mostly for sex?
Posted: 11/26/2011 8:46:48 AM
^^^^^The only other alternative is to watch a football game today..
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