| | She won't forgive me!!?Page 1 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | | My name is jon, I was dating a girl for 6 months, we hit it off right away and were crazy about each other. I'm 28, she's 23 btw. I work out of town and only see her for 1 week every 3 weeks, but that never got in the way. I was planning a trip to take her to mexico. I enjoyed spoiling her. We however got in a huge fight one night. She was cooking me dinner one night and she was texting someone relentlessly for an hour straight. As she went to the bathroom, I checked her phone (I know, real mature) i noticed she was texting her ex bf, flirting with him basically. And it was going on while i was working out of town as well. This is a guy she said that she will always love btw. (he lives in a different city) I was extremely upset. I asked her 'are you over your ex'? and she said yes. Then i asked 'why have you been texting him all night?' and she said I haven't been. And her lying to me set me off. I stormed off, she didn't say anything, didn't apologize nothing. I drove home mad and texted her a bunch of mean stuff, calling her a slut and horrible stuff. I'm not proud of it but i wasn't thinking straight at the time. I never heard from her and the next day i apologized and she pretty much vilified me and couldn't believe how i could talk to her like that. I owned up and took all the blame, didn't point the finger at her. I called her, no answer.. I asked if we could meet in person and she said that's not a good idea.. A few days later i wrote her a letter and bought her a tiffany bracelet, showed up with flowers and she said 'i cant do this'. I sent another letter a few days later and same thing. She said we could meet up so she can return the bracelet but i said it would hurt too much to take it back.. she said she wishes she could be with me but doesn't think she can and that she thinks shes too closed off to move forward. (Which was a week ago) I haven't talked to her since.. Im at a loss, I made a huge mistake by calling her a slut among other stupid things but i didn't mean it. (I know she doesn't want her ex back btw or else i wouldn't even bother getting her back). I have never tried harder in my life to apologize and fight to be with someone. I love her, I dunno what else to do. Any advice please?? | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/29/2011 9:19:54 PM | my dear friend
you can close the book on this one !st off calling her a slut wow .
2nd she lie to you texting the ex ok been there as well some ladys now not all ok seems to think they have it over us guys as i said i been there myself was out on a date and all night long text after text .
in the end i asked am i in the way here no she said it just my ex am we did go together for 2 yrs .
but calling this lady a slut no man she long gone if i was her i would be i know that what everytime you guys would have a different view on things you would be calling her a slut ,whore , trash, goldddigger .
no man you screw up big time | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/29/2011 9:26:00 PM | Jon, if this is a real post I would just say this:
Raging against your ex probably wasn't the best way to handle this, but it's not the worst thing in the world either as:
SHE HAD BEEN PLAYING YOU DUDE!
You CAUGHT her lying to you, called her on her sh*t, and she didn't even offer an explanation before you went off on her. She was playing you and was embarrassed more by the fact you caught her than by the fact that she was being dishonest, disrespectful & playing with your emotions.
Good riddance!
The only thing you should feel bad about it is your actions after this. Begging her to forgive you, buying her expensive gifts, and trying to "win her back" is all making you look pathetic.
Really, she was not respecting you when you were "in love" with each other as made evident by her lies (and I hate to say cheating - as I'm sure she was using your time apart to do her thing) so all this begging now that she has shown you what she is all about will just make her have even less respect for you. The time to salvage what was there has passed, move on my friend for you have set a dangerous precedent of accepting & rewarding disrespect by this woman.
Get the bracelet back (it's a recession & the holiday season for God's sake) , go to Mexico with your friends/family, and leave this chick alone.
Man up, Jon! | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/29/2011 9:27:14 PM | | I think it's safe to say this one is done and over with. Quite frankly, I think it was probably done at the point that she was texting her ex in the middle of dinner with you. That said, you most definitely sealed the deal with the name calling and all that. Work on that temper though; poise probably wouldn't have saved this one, but you could have walked away looking and feeling much better. | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/29/2011 9:34:50 PM | | Ya man trust me because i've been in the exact same boat that you are. It's over. Once the seed is planted for her to start texting other guys stuff that isn't just friendly chat you're done. I dated a girl for two years, never saw her text a lot until we went to college together. When i finally got up the nerve to check her phone (because i thought i was being cheated on) all my suspicions were confirmed. She'd been playing you, and you trying to take all the blame for it plays right into her hands. Hope you can return the bracelet man, better off without her. | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/29/2011 10:32:38 PM | boyo boyo B O Y O ....
nah brah...
the girl was still not ""over"" her ex...
that was her mistake for dating you and 'leading you on' at some level
know one thing...
you cannot """buy"" a woman's heart...
only her body and time.
take the bracelet back and return it for the money spent on it.
don't do this again
next time if you think or see a girl is still ""INTO"" her ex - roll off and bounce....
nothing u can do can do anything other than make things worse....
she REALLY could care less, despite her ""WORDS"" ...
all u can do is do what u can do for urself...
you cannot do anything to win a girl at that point.
n
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/29/2011 10:52:06 PM |
She was cooking me dinner one night and she was texting someone relentlessly for an hour straight. As she went to the bathroom, I checked her phone (I know, real mature) i noticed she was texting her ex bf, flirting with him basically. And it was going on while i was working out of town as well. This is a guy she said that she will always love btw.
Actually, don't be so hard on yourself. Checking her phone when there's solid proof of suspicion, you had probable cause -- and she's your established girlfriend, so no, you weren't in the wrong to check her phone. And it was a BIG BIG deal that she will always love her ex, relentlessly text him while being with you -- and on top of that, lying to your face about it because it WAS more-than-just-friends this guy is. And then when you say that, she doesn't apologize if all that for some morbid reason isn't enough.
Going off on her and being over the top via text -- yes, you should regret that. But she deserved it. You didn't deserve to do that, though, and it is forgivable, because of what happened. If someone's cheating on you (which she WAS), the word "slut/male-slut", "whore/male-whore", "basturd/a-hole/b!tch", etc will be said understandably if the person's like that and not even apologetic.
But yeah, you should have told her you didn't mean it, and that a better word would be a cheating b!tch instead, for cheating on you like that and being like that with you finding out. But actually in a civil way and letting her know that you're not sorry for going off saying things you didn't mean, but it's inaccurate, you regret it -- but her doing what she did, sorry, doesn't compare to someone's human reactions for getting that dumped on them and is very understandable. She SHOULD believe how someone can react that way. But she probably can't because she's convinced herself she's done nothing wrong (wtf?).
Don't apologize to get her back. That makes her feel like she didn't really do anything wrong. It makes you the bad guy in her mind. WTF? I understand though. With an ex of mine I fell into that trap to some degree, because you don't want to lose them. But dude, you can't let a woman walk all over you like that. I mean, seriously, that's horrible.
She's the bad guy, not you. Don't try and get her back. She's going to be in cahoots with her ex and she still loves him and it SHOULD be treated by very very hard-solid circumstantial evidence that she's cheated and would cheat on you anyway. FTOG - Find Ten Other Girls. | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/29/2011 10:52:52 PM | | She Majorly dissed you, had NO RESPECT FOR YOU. You need to forget about her, cause she forgot about you some time ago. She has 2 weeks free of you and she still has to txt sweet nothings to some dude, while she is in your presence! F**k "She won't forgive Me", I guarantee she's NOT thinking about obtaining forgiveness from you, even b4 you called her names. Hey bro, you don't wanna go down like a Simp! Forget about her, Good Riddance. Shake it off, get out there and find a REAL WOMAN. Be happy that it happened at 6 months instead of 2 or 3 years, or after marriage or something. You get a chance to start fresh, Clean-Slate. Many guys can't get a clean break like this. Go Forward, never back, Forward is the only logical Progress in your situation! | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/29/2011 11:30:50 PM | Jon,
It's over, there is nothing you can do to fix it.
If the person that supposedly loves me called me names for what ever reason I would not forget it. If you really love someone how can you call her the things you did. Not everyone you love will love you the same way but if you can say hateful things to her then you really don't love her either.
I was in love with my ex, but one day in an argument he said something hurtful and malicious and after that I had no respect for him and no matter how hard I tried my feelings were never the same. | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/30/2011 12:06:53 AM | Being betrayed hurts, but it does not excuse your tantrum. If you're ever in this situation again keep your dignity and walk away - fast. And for gawd's sake don't go groveling for forgiveness.
First, she is not worth your time.
Second, why would you want to be with someone that you believe cheated on you?
Third, there is someone out there that is going to want you for you and the more time you waste on losers the harder she will be to find. | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/30/2011 2:02:35 AM | leave that potato alone.
go find another - you think there is a shortage of lying sluts that will dissrespect you and cheat behind your back ?!?!
I bet you could find another by dinner this very night. | |
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A_Gent
| | Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 12 | |
| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/30/2011 3:51:45 AM | Jon.
It does seem that she has forgiven you, buy that does not mean she will go back with you. And if she is justifying carrying on a txt relationship even with you standing there, instead of focusing on you, you going back with her would make you into a submissive role.
And ya... nothing excuses the way you handled yourself
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me." Trouble is, often words hurt right to the core.
So what did you learn from all this?
If you could go back ... press replay... what would you do different?
How will you change to stop such a thing from messing up a future relationship?
>
And guy to guy.... get rid of the mopey picture.. | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/30/2011 5:34:16 AM | Jon,
Move on and let her go.
She is not over her ex. If she was then she would not have been flirting with him via text or any other method.
I am in love with my current boyfriend. Currently he is working until the end of the year 7 hours away until he moves down here permanently. I only get to see him a few times a month. There is NO WAY I would be flirting with anyone else but my boyfriend via text or any other method. I have to be in constant contact with my exhusband because of the kids, but we both have others in our life. My boyfriend can read those text messages anytime he wants.
If your girlfriend was that into you she would have only eyes for you and would not have been carrying on with her ex. You were just Mr. Right now. | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/30/2011 5:38:34 AM | Don't sweat this one. Look at the bright side. You did not throw your hard earned money away by taking her to Mexico. How do you think you would have felt if while on a white sand beach she was texting her ex? Hope you got the money back for the bracelet.
I am sure in time you will see the logic in many of the post telling you to steer clear. | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/30/2011 6:55:25 AM | | I'm really sorry she did this...this is the sh*t that women do that pisses me off! She's NOT over he ex and she's a liar. As much as it hurts, move on. Deleter her # out of your phone etc. She's the type that will string you along, say whatever to keep you around...buying her a bracelet wasn't the right thing to do, even if you thought so...we all say things we don't mean but it happens. The person you are with should add to your life, not bring drama, lies, cheating. | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/30/2011 8:10:00 AM | What I don't get is why a person plays the field like this while they are in a relationship.
Likewise, when I know a woman's heart is straying, I ask her straight up, is your heart with me, the other guy, or the drunken hobbit standing on the street corner. They never tell the truth. Move on. It aint worth the trouble. | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/30/2011 8:12:07 AM | | She is the one that should be apologizing to you. Ask yourself. is this something she would do if she truly loved you? | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/30/2011 8:31:33 AM | | Stop being so clingy that's what. And don't go through anyones things. You WILL find something that you don't like guaranteed. Obviously you seem like a rebound. She admitted she loves her ex and you're gone way too often for a full blown relationship. Any girl might take advantage of someone spoiling her until they call her a slut. | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/30/2011 8:33:17 AM | If you really love someone how can you call her the things you did. Not everyone you love will love you the same way but if you can say hateful things to her then you really don't love her either.
I highly disagree. Cheating & lying to someone and when confronted about it, caught red handed, not apologizing -- wow. People are human. Going off on how they're a terrible person via text after that isn't a sign of not loving them -- it's a sign they did. Put in the right position of someone hurting us beyond belief, we all will say things that we don't mean besides in the moment of trauma. It's called being human.
one day in an argument he said something hurtful and malicious and after that I had no respect for him and no matter how hard I tried my feelings were never the same.
Did you lie & cheat on him, and he reacted because you were doing that + wouldn't even apologize and put up a front? If so, you (emotionally) deserved it, even if he was over-the-top and said things that weren't accurate. It takes extreme situations to understand & allow extreme reactions -- and that was one of them for him. She deserved to feel pain -- and maybe a "lying cheating b!tch" would have sufficed better than "slut" or other words strictly-to-hurt, but some people need cold-water splashed (or slapped emotionally) in their face when they are deceitful and betraying and think nothing's wrong about it.
He shouldn't sit back and wallow in regret over non-relevant, too-harsh-of-words. One should go off on said people like she was, but doing so in which the anger is relevant to the situation -- and text is a good way to keep it without loudness and dims scare-factors a girl may feel. Otherwise, when it's not relevant, that gives a lying/cheating gal like that ammo to believe she didn't do anything wrong as a whole, because that's what she wants to believe, and you'll be playing in her hands -- especially if you run to apologize! | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/30/2011 8:33:27 AM | Why would you want her to?
Run, man, ruuuun!
In the future though may want to tone it down a bit XD
Considering what she was doing probably better off having it end now rather than when she ends up leaving you for the ex. Which there's probably a good chance that was going to happen anyways. | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/30/2011 10:20:57 AM | She LIED to you. She was LYING to you everytime she sent him a text. How do you know that she doesn't want him back? Did she tell you that? My guess would be that if she did------> SHE WAS LYING AGAIN.
Sorry, Jon but you need to move on. No one deserves to be second best. While I don't condone calling her names or sending nasty text messages, your initial reaction (to dump her) really was the right one.
You should try to figure out why in the hell you would want to stay with a woman who would treat you like this. | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/30/2011 10:23:46 AM | Seriously...Other than calling her a name...You really have nothing to apologize for.
I'm a firm believer..."If you got nothing to hide...You hide nothing"....
She...was doing wrong and it's disrespecful to you.
In her words...this guy was the love of her life...she's not over him!
There are ways to block people or just ignore them...she wants the attention.
Move on...she got caught with her hands in the cookie jar!
Once trust is not there..you have nothing. | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/30/2011 10:24:42 AM | Get over it, she was obviously not that into you. One night every three weeks is hardly a relationship and the fact that she was texting an Ex while you were there shows me she is not worth worrying about.
PS: Lose the word 'slut' from your vocabulary, it is rude and will rarely help anyone side with you during an argument. | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/30/2011 10:52:50 AM | While I dont agree with how you handled things, she was doing you wrong and deserved to be called on her actions.
I would not be texting anyone during dinner with anyone, let alone a man I was crazy about. Her actions tell her real story-you are disposable to her. Dont try and get someone back who acts as though you are disposable.
If you only see one another every few weeks, and she is as into you, as you are her-the last thing on her mind would be texting others in your presence, let alone an ex.
Her rejection, is actually your protection. | |
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| She won't forgive me!!?
Posted: 11/30/2011 10:57:16 AM | I'm not excusing her behavior for flirting, etc... But I was in a situation when I was a little younger than her with a guy about 5 years older. Everything was great, then one night, I said something jokingly and he took it the wrong way and he got all in my face and started calling me names and trying to intimidate me. And this was a side of him that I just KNEW I could not handle and didn't want to be around, so I broke up with him right then and there. He came by the next day with flowers and a bracelet and apologized, but I was adamant that I didn't want to be with someone that could go off like that over a trivial matter...so I can kind of see her side of things in that regard. (However, I wasn't flirting with someone else or doing anything else inappropriate, I just said something in jest that drove him over the edge for whatever reason.)
I would just move on and realize that you can't go around calling people names and go storming off when you are upset about something. Try to talk it out to begin with. If you had talked about what was bothering you, she may have eventually admitted to being unfaithful or something, then you would have the closure you need to move on from this.
Good luck! | |
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