| | POF horror story Page 1 of 8 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) | | I met a girl off this site a few weeks ago. She is a really pretty Russian girl and we were having fun casually dating. A few days ago she was slated to move in with a family to work. After only one day living there the wife got jealous of having a pretty girl around her husband and rudely told her "you have four days to leave" basically throwing her out on the street in a foreign country where she knows nobody, except... ME. The problem is I live in University residence, one room, no couch, and a bed we both can barely fit on. I'm a person that really likes my space. I really don't like sharing my small space with anyone because there's no other rooms and nowhere to go to be alone. This is a place I come home to and like to be alone! I agreed that she can stay, but she's mentioning things like she's going to stay for awhile with me, and she has strong feelings for me, etc. and both of which are freaking me out lol. I feel like I kind of got thrown into a commitment after two weeks. I'm not a cold hearted person. I'll let her stay with me for awhile even if it's at a great inconvenience to myself, and I'll help her find a job. But how do I go about telling her living together isn't a log term thing? Basically how do I get myself out of this mess whilst still being a gentleman? | |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 8:20:57 PM | Do not, repeat, DO NOT! Let her stay anymore.
Take her to the YWCA and she can get a room there.
Or take her to a woman's shelter, or somewhere else.
She is using you, and possibly lying to you. Nevermind that she forced herself into your living arrangements.
Maybe she thinks a few coins may come her way from you....?
I myself would never let some strange person live with me. But that is me.
Good luck.
Edit: Do you even know if she is in the country legally? | |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 8:22:01 PM | | Be honest and tell her exactly that. It's been two weeks. You understand the problem she's facing and you want to help her out but it's too early to be living together permanently so you'll help her find a new place to stay and a job and continue to see each other after she's moved. | |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 8:23:03 PM | | What she said, you don't owe her anything. | |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 8:24:35 PM | 
THAT'S not how I envisoned the Russian wife offer going down!!
Basically how do I get myself out of this mess whilst still being a gentleman?
First step; call the Kremlin and find some strategic allies.
HELP---HER---GET---HOME.
Turn her over to the international studies department dude; and THAT is not a joke.
(and strap in tight)
The skies are watching you <--Thsi may be a good partof your final mark.
P.s. Sorry to hear about your tough predicament. THAT.....is a challenge. (ouch) | |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 8:24:57 PM | trust me OP - this girl just played you to get you to let her move into your place.
almost positive that thing with the family job was a lie to get you to feel obligated to let her crash at your place...
you dont have to be a ""gentleman""
I don't know why you feel this way.
tell her to kick rocks... | |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 8:25:48 PM | You say:
"________, I told you that you can stay here for a little while because your situation was so sudden. I'll help you find another job. But, the problem is I live in University residence, one room, no couch, and a bed we both can barely fit on. I'm a person that really likes my space and don't like sharing this tiny space with anyone. This is a place I come home to and like to be alone. It's nothing personal against you - I don't really want to have ANYONE else here, because it's just too small and inconvenient for both of us. So you can stay here for the next _____ days, and I'll help you find another place."
Then back up what you're saying, point her to the job and housing resources that she needs, and stick to the deadline. You don't need to find the job or the housing FOR her, but you should steer her in the right direction.
She may not like that, but the other outcome is that you let her stay, resent her being there and eventually have a nasty breakup after much drama and changing of your locks.
You probably should change the locks anyway - and don't leave any money or valuables lying around. | |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 8:27:19 PM | | Op, you really suck at telling horror stories.. | |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 8:27:28 PM | almost positive that thing with the family job was a lie to get you to feel obligated to let her crash at your place...
Why though?
He lives in residence?
tell her to kick rocks...
Cause obviously you need more angry homeless USA hating people in your streets?
Op, you really suck at telling horror stories..
Haha: "ya"!
Good luck brother.
THAT......is a challenging scenario.
:beer:
| |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 8:31:10 PM | | I thought about that also, but the thing is, she could have picked a guy with better living or financial status than me at the moment. Everywhere we go guys turn to look. She could still be on POF looking for other options, but she deleted her account after we dated. I think her feelings are genuine, and this is what also worries me. | |
|
114M3
| | Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 11 | |
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 8:35:27 PM |
this girl just played you to get you to let her move into your place.
^^^ DITTO.
Op, you really suck at telling horror stories..
^^^ Double DItto. | |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 8:37:59 PM | | Are you in a small town? The Russian and Polish young women I have met around this city have their own cliques, supporting each other in times of need. They make outside friends, but keep the clique close by as a sort of support system. | |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 8:40:23 PM | op
She would have had to have an agency that organized her first position and they would have to have some guarantees in place for this situation.
 | |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 8:43:39 PM | Got this young hot Russian chick cramping my style. When I get home she's all laid out on my bed looking all hot and Russian... Boo! Boogie Woogie! Boo!
| |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 8:45:17 PM | op She would have had to have an agency that organized her first position and they would have to have some guarantees in place for this situation
Welcome to your life OP.
Read your own ad, now read your post here.
Go show em how its done slick.
Hint: The local law firms, and International agencies angle is your first step, after you decide if this girl should go home or not.
You must be somethin special.
Don't bother asking God 'why you'; he doesn't seem to answer those questions.
 | |
|
| Hyperbole
Posted: 12/3/2011 8:48:40 PM | Wheres the horror story. Thought I was in for a good read  | |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 8:50:08 PM | | Next time, consult a professional author before writing fiction you intend to others to believe is non-fiction, ok? | |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 8:54:02 PM |
this girl just played you to get you to let her move into your place.
^^^ DITTO.
Op, you really suck at telling horror stories..
^^^ Double DItto.
^^^Triple Ditto | |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 9:22:29 PM |
almost positive that thing with the family job was a lie to get you to feel obligated to let her crash at your place...
Why though?
He lives in residence?
tell her to kick rocks...
Cause obviously you need more angry homeless USA hating people in your streets?
why do I believe what I believe ??
cuz she tells him she loves him.
YET she is being a burden on him.
it is also TOO coincidental how she wound up in his place.
everything I hear about this woman tells me she is not being truthful with him...
and if this gal is sooo angry here in the USA, then she can go back home to mother Russia and be angry.
its just too convenient.
OP - I would be VERY careful about your personal valuables, ie check book, ATM card, etc ....EXTREMELY careful...
until you grow the gonads to toss her out on her sexy little azz...
until that day - keep boning her till you are completely drained...who knows ? she might leave shortly on her own accord...
lmfao !! | |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 9:31:26 PM | | This scenario is usually followed up with "I'll have to leave the country unless I have a fiance visa, will you say I am your fiance?" Then, 90 days later when that visa expires, will you still be a gentleman and marry her? This is probably the worst reason for letting someone move in with you, but it's quick. If you really want to be a gentleman, contact the authorities as she doesn't have a reason to be there anymore, and needs to go home. They'll find a place for her to stay (women's shelter) until they can put her on a free plane ride home. There, you helped her out and got her home, or you can give her yours, as small as it is. | |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 9:33:10 PM | | she should contact the russian embassy and get some help getting home. she may not have gone through an agency, so she may be in a bit of a mess here. the thing is, she may very well just be playing you as others have suggested. either way, it's nice that you are trying to help her, but you have to be careful that you don't get all your stuff stolen along with your identity. you don't know this woman and for all you know she could be a criminal. i would also probably talk to my parents, contact any russian organizations, and or someone at the university in the russian studies department - they might know someone that could help her out. | |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 10:25:07 PM |
Are you in a small town? The Russian and Polish young women I have met around this city have their own cliques, supporting each other in times of need. They make outside friends, but keep the clique close by as a sort of support system.
The OP is literally down the street from the centre of the Russian community in Toronto. I cut and pasted the following after doing a simple google search:
Shown by different polls, there are over 200-250 thousand people living in Greater Toronto that have Russian as their native language, or can speak it freely. Besides that, the Russian Language is also understood by the members of the Ukrainian Community of Toronto (there are over 70-150 thousand of them), the Bulgarian Community, the Serbian Community and the Croatian Community.
The main Russian-populated region of Toronto is North York, which has an Un-Official Center at the Steeles and Bathurst intersection. There is also many Russian-speaking people living in Etobicoke, in the High park region. In the past years, there have been many immigrants moving to the regions of Don Mills, Missisauga and Richmond Hill.
The special quality of immigrants from the former USSR is their excellent education and professional skills. A high percentage of them have a University degree. As a result, they don’t have many problems finding a job, and their yearly salary is higher than the average Canadian. Also, a surprisingly large number of Russian-speaking professionals work in the field of Information Technology. A lot of them start their own business. Immigrants from Russia have a very big impact on the cultural life in Canada. Amongst them, there are many musicians, architects and artists.
Members of the Russian Community of Toronto support each other, and strive to maintain their Russian culture. In Toronto there are over 20 Russian newspapers and magazines, 4 TV programs (one of them being 24 hours a day), numerous Russian-speaking schools, concerts, and restaurants with Russian cuisine. In the field of services, there are many Russian-speaking specialists and companies. | |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 10:33:30 PM | | I love how everyone says ditch her because clearly people on this site dont get what going through a hard time is like. If she is fake or what not have her go home to where she is from. Dont kick her to the curb because no offense guys but everyone could be in a crappy situation so stop actin like you are better than everyone. | |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 10:36:39 PM |
Basically how do I get myself out of this mess whilst still being a gentleman?
A gentleman would not be living in sin with an unmarried woman.
A gentleman would not be in this mess.
So there you go, problem solved, you aren't a gentleman.
All you're worried about is appearances, preserving self image as the "nice guy."
You should realize you aren't.
So what you really want to do is avoid conflict.
That's not really possible in this situation.
So, if I were you, I'd enjoy it while it lasts, and when you want her to leave you tell her to leave. | |
|
| POF horror story
Posted: 12/3/2011 10:40:04 PM | Whew OP, sounds like though you have a heart for this, you bit off more than you can chew!The situation sounds suspect. However, if its true what she is reporting to you, she is a victim of domestic abuse, and a candidate for a battered women's shelter. Try rerouting her there-places like that do help international au pairs caught in violence or abuse. She should also avail herself of services from her country's embassy-thats what they are for, to help the citizens of their countries. Good luck op, dont take on more than you need to here  | |
|
Home
login 
