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 loveyalongtimeox
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 1
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feminine manPage 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I've been on a couple of dates with this guy who I met through this site and although he is lovely, he is also extremely feminine. I'm usually attracted to manly types, he does look like a man he just reminds me of hanging out with one of my girlfriends. He oozes femininity in the way he comes across, likes loads of affection, very open with his feelings, enjoys a gossip and shopping, very anal about a clean home..the list goes on. So what's everyones opinion on this? Have any of you ladies got with a feminine guy? Or would you? Or would any of you guys get with a masuline woman?
 bunny017
Joined: 11/26/2011
Msg: 2
feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 7:01:42 AM
I can't date an effeminate guy. I like to feel protected... I dated a somewhat metro guy once... And that just got annoying, as he talked about his hair more than I did... And too many scarves! Lol
 loveyalongtimeox
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 3
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feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 7:11:37 AM
Lol that's what I was thinking bunny, I like to feel protected where as this guy mentioned about his daily beauty routine and I almost fell off my chair, he also said he screams if he sees a spider lol. A couple of my girlfriends have said give him a chance and the rest have said he sounds gay, although he isn't, but it would be like dating a girl lol
 MuB_Sein_Verruckt
Joined: 11/2/2011
Msg: 4
feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 7:25:33 AM
So to you being feminine is about talking silly, acting silly, and generally fussing over stuff that doesn't matter? You should meet me and my female friends :o), or are we now the "masculine women". Even if we shave regularly? lol

Aaaaaanyway, I dated metropolitan guys and men who wear their hearts on their sleeves. I also dated the type you describe as manly (I'm hoping that has nothing to do with having rough skin all over, smelling bad with booze and lack of showers, and farting in public). The notion of being able to protect you is an illusion. A man's "protection" has nothing to do with physicality or exterior demeanor in this day and age.

If all the conversation he has is superficiality, I won't be interested in either. But I like a man who smells nice, well-groomed, and as long as he doesn't scream in my ear when he sees a spider, I don't mind lol
 bottleguy
Joined: 3/22/2011
Msg: 5
feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 7:27:58 AM
Guys who have a lot of sisters, especially older sisters, usually end up a bit feminine. Same as girl who have a lot of older brothers are likely to be tomboys. I have two older sisters and my tastes in music and movies are on the girly side (I love romantic movies and love songs). I would date a tomboy if she LOOKS feminine. If she looks manly, eh, no.
 walkingtall38
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 6
feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 7:34:02 AM
I like tomboys. They tend to be more assertive which I find to be a turn on and it's kind of nice to be able to bs with a woman like they're one of the guys. My best friend is one and generally speaking I am attracted to that type of personality.

Just tend to be more enjoyable to be around far as I'm concerned. Doubt I would ever tell my friend she's a masculine woman XD

Pretty sure she would smack me upside my head.

Come to think of it I can't pass this up. Think when she comes into work today I'm going to mention this thread to her and ask her about her masculinity hahaha
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 7
feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 7:38:46 AM
I dated a guy who came across a bit effeminate, I liked him a lot intellectually.. but his mannerisms and such were a HUGE turn off. Even the way he kissed felt too soft, blech!
 bunny017
Joined: 11/26/2011
Msg: 8
feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 7:57:34 AM
To me effiminate and metro are different. I met once with an effeminate guy.. too soft spoken and too much use of the word "honey," and that's not calling me honey in a way you would your SO, and just other mannerisms.. I could never date that.. my ex was just metro..too into his style and hair and all that..interestingly enough they are both from Miami.. not sure if that plays a factor? I'm from los Angeles. They BOTH wore too many scarves! Lol

Oh and yeah, I know it has nothing to do with whether or not they can ACTUALLY protect.. its just a biological thing I suppose.. I FEEL more protected when theyre manlier, same as I'm attracted when I see them doing physical labor and I'm attracted to guys being taller than me.
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 9
feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 8:21:26 AM
While I consider myself to be open to all types of the opposite sex, if a man is prettier than me, it ain't gonna work. Being open and affectionate are things I consider non-gender specific and actually something I find attractive...
 loveyalongtimeox
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 10
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feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 8:21:37 AM
Haha love your responses, it seems to me that when I meet a manly guy I kinda wish he were more open with his feelings etc..and now this feminine guy has come along I want a more manly guy..think a happy medium would be nice, just don't like the idea of a guy who would maybe make me feel less like a woman, I dunno. He has asked me out on a 3rd date (shopping) I can only assume he needs a new scarf lol. He would make a great guy friend I suppose if nothing else!
 walkingtall38
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 11
feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 8:24:17 AM

He has asked me out on a 3rd date (shopping)


Really? Wow.

Lol...on a side note my friend came into work and I showed her this thread. When she saw the whole masculine woman thing she flipped her lid XD

Can still hear her down the hallway ranting and raving about it. Hahahaha
 Newvana
Joined: 11/5/2011
Msg: 12
feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 8:26:05 AM
Well I can empathize with this guy, I too have been told I am a very feminine guy and even been asked before if I am gay. Don't get me wrong i'm not flamboyant and in your face and have that annoying 'Alan Carr' Tone of voice but guys get quite jealous of me because I can talk to women in a way that they can't understand. Most of my friends are girls (all taken sadly) and they always come to me for a chat and a gossip and we love it.

I can be manly and I know how to stick up for myself, but I just don't see the point in always showing off that you're the alpha male. I can protect a girl but I don't need to go around with a stone face looking like I want to chuck someone through a combined harvester to get that point across. it comes across when it needs to.

My ex criticised me on occasions for being feminine, but most of the time that's what she liked because i wasn't treating her like shiit and i was always putting her first. There needs to be a fine balance of both side because we both know if he was a masculine prik all the time and never opened up you would get sick of him eventually because you would think he's not letting you in close or he is hiding it.

don't knock feminine guys, although in your defense he has taken it a bit too the extremes. haha
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 13
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feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 8:30:42 AM
I don't see anything bad about this guy frankly. Who says guys don't gossip?
Plenty of guys go shopping...I see them at the mall when I'm there. Women on
here complain all the time about guys not being more affectionate or open...here's
a guy that is and he's still doing things wrong.

I don't think there's anything wrong with a guy that dresses nicely (with or without
a scarf) and keeps a clean house.

Not every guy is a construction worker, mechanic or does manual work. There are
guys out there with soft hands and soft hearts they wear on their sleeves. Apparently
this is not someone you are interested in, but you have no problem gossiping and
making assumptions about.
 mamamugg
Joined: 10/12/2006
Msg: 14
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feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 8:40:09 AM
There is fem, and there is sensitive.

Big difference.

Personally I want a sensitive man...but not a fem man.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 15
feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 8:41:37 AM
^^ Agreed. Huge difference there.
 darknight48
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 16
feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 8:56:17 AM
cant win!! what do you prefer knuckle dragging,beerswilling /bad boys type guy? you fought for equality.most men wont want be with masculine woman,though you can be female with male brain+ vice versa. most my role models in family were strong women.im not typical guy,prefer womens company,dont like football(like boxing +rugby) dont mind shopping,can iron /am domesticated so house is cleanmean( even put seat down after me): .but i dont spend time str8in my hair shriek at spiders. ect lol.i open doors/treat women well/so understand each to thier own but when hear comments like this
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 17
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feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 8:56:55 AM

A couple of my girlfriends have said give him a chance

you're not seriously considering this, are you? you feel so little for this guy that you're actually citing cleanliness on a list of unattractive traits. cancel your shopping date so he can spend that time and effort with someone who appreciates what he brings.
 Newvana
Joined: 11/5/2011
Msg: 18
feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 9:06:21 AM
Just be thankful you actually met someone off here who is not a time waster and bullshiitter, you should probably stop being ungreatful, if you wait for someone better and more masculine it might turn around and bite you in the ass, whatever you decide be nice about it and good luck.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 19
feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 9:09:53 AM
^^ Are you serious?

It's abundantly obvious that you are projecting your frustrations onto the Op... We all have standards, tastes and choices in regard to dating.

I am sure you would not appreciate being told that you should be grateful and date a midget or a 300 lbs woman just because they are showing interest
 bunny017
Joined: 11/26/2011
Msg: 20
feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 9:12:21 AM
Shopping?! Now that is a date I make with girlfriends.. yes I've definitely gone shopping with boyfriends..but that's when we've been together and its more for the company, or because we both need to.. not as a DATE! lol does he also wanna go get a manicure? That defnly would have put him in the friends only zone for me.

Manly doesn't equal an ***hole or Neandertal, to the knuckle dragging comment and others. My ex was what I consider manly.. but he also opened doors for me, told me I was beautiful all the time, discussed his feelings, etc. Since when did manly mean one couldn't also be a gentleMAN?

Shakti, well said!
 Newvana
Joined: 11/5/2011
Msg: 21
feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 9:18:47 AM
This is not even remotely similar to dating a midget and you can not compare this to that so don't give me that pony. It is obvious the attraction was there initially otherwise she would not have met him, what attraction would be there when i see a midget pop up in my inbox? None, so I wouldn't even entertain meeting that person. She is judging him on a few innate mannerisms that he can't help and are clearly not out of choice for him and if she pulled her head out of her backside a bit she would see that it's not really a big deal in the grand scope of things.

I am displaying frustrations because yet it's another shallow post from another shallow woman whining that someone is not good enough for her. How about rather than posting about it in here you go and twiddle your thumbs in a corner and decide if he really is good enough for little miss perfect OP.
 Newvana
Joined: 11/5/2011
Msg: 22
feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 9:22:13 AM
and before anyone starts jumping on the being shallow towards a midget bandwagon, i defy anyone here who can actually say that have ever dated or would ever date a midget. If you have and you can prove it then I shall eat my own words.

But in all seriousness to the OP just stick with him, he clearly is a good guy and he might make you very happy in other ways. Just give him a shot.
 walkingtall38
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 23
feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 9:33:10 AM
Lot of frustration here over nothing. Whether you like it or not everyone including the ones complaining in this thread have preferences they look for in the opposite sex. You can try and justify why yours are so high and mighty to others all you want if you're that into self denial.

Only thing I see that stands out is like another poster said if you're this bothered by the attributes or personality of someone you're seeing then why keep dating them? Outside of that not sure what the problem is here. Everyone has different tastes, ideals, and personalities that attract them. Unless you're really that desperate and have such a low self esteem you'll go out with anyone that bothers to give you the time of day.
 Basiate
Joined: 11/2/2010
Msg: 24
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feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 9:35:24 AM
I dated a effeminate man a couple years ago. By looking at him I could not really tell, but as I was around him little subtle things started showing. He had a slight lisp, extremely conscious of his clothes, kept an immaculate home, very forward with his feelings (even cried a couple times in front of me), liked to shop, and just some of his mannerisms were not very manly....but...He was the best sex Ive ever had in my life..lol He definitely was not gay in the least in that department. He was a bit too much of a party boy for me though, so we just remained friends and still are.

As for the midget comment..Ummm, there is someone on this site who has and is a regular poster in this forum. Ive heard the story. Be interesting to see if they find this thread and tell it..lol
 loveyalongtimeox
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 25
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feminine man
Posted: 12/7/2011 9:38:56 AM
I don't think cleaniness is a bad trait I was stating some of the things which made him sound feminine, like I said he's very anal about his house, to the extent he told me he buys himself freshly cut flowers and enjoys arranging them also he said he broke up with his ex over the interior design because she wanted a black and white colour scheme bedroom and he wanted pink, so he threw a hissy fit and broke up with her. His words. I did say he would make a great guy friend and I will tell him so, and I'll be nice about it!
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