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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/4/2004 11:00:30 PM | I say divorced is the way to go! Seperated makes it seem too much like a rebound or something....like you could drop this current person at anytime to go back with your old love or whatnot!
~KrIsTy | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/5/2004 12:17:21 AM | "Separated" comes from the Latin word "Sepa" which means "still has the potential to" and the ancient druid word, "rated" which means "screw his wife." I suppose that's why most women would prefer the word "divorced" or "single." But what do I know?
W | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/5/2004 4:43:27 AM | well I think it depends on the situation .........
If a man's seperated and seems to have generally "moved" on with his life.....I think it's fine....
If he's leaning against the bar.... shirt open, sh*t a** eating grin on his face.... eyeballing EVERY girl...... hmm.....you may wannna run!! | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/5/2004 5:46:55 AM | | ...well if unfortunate experience counts for anything...wait until the ink is dry on the divorce papers! "Separated" just has too many meanings. It certainly means there is definite unfinished business and why volunteer to complicate your life with that? | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/5/2004 9:27:48 AM | | I'm going along with the general consensus here....Separated means "technically still married". Still married means "NO GO". | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/5/2004 10:43:09 AM | | I understand the concerns and ideas behind the replies to this question. Esstentially,however, you are asking for people to lie to you. I am seperated. I have not seen my estranged wife in a year. In fact, she lives 1,500 miles from me. Were it not for the nature of divorce and the time some take I would be single again.....I am a nice guy who would like to meet someone to spend time with once again. But if dishonesty is part of that, I cannot be a party to it. | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/5/2004 11:56:56 AM | I am not asking for anyone to lie. I don't want to date men who are separated. They need to find women who are ok with that. There is no dishonesty required.....merely preferences.  | |
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| Marriage minded man soon available
Posted: 11/5/2004 2:07:54 PM | I appreciate everyone's opinions and feedback. I thought "separated" would be interpreted as "marriage minded man soon available." But I didn't see anyone communicate that.
A friend of mine's divorce took 4 years, he was married for 12 years. The longer the marriage, often the more heated the divorce. During that four year divorce, he was "separated." He spent the equivalent of his daughter's college education on attorney fees. Now he is beginning the custody phase of the divorce proceedings. I wish him the best. | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/6/2004 1:15:38 AM | | I think do whatever make's you happy and if you'r not happy with you'r wife or husband than that is you'r bussiness nobody has a right to down you for being single or divorced i think single/divorced guy's are just like everyone else, nothing to hide nothing to hold back from someone it's best be out in the open. About you'r life or you'r problem's so carry on and have a great one.!! | |
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| Marriage-minded man available
Posted: 11/6/2004 10:29:51 AM | Thank you again for the opinions. It is good to get a fresh perspective.
Jordan:
"Hi. My wife left me because I cheated on her, and we needed a break, so come do me while you can!" .. or ..
I was not the one who cheated. The short story is ... I was in Hawaii tending to my mother after she diagnosed with lung cancer. My mother eventually died from the cancer. After about two months in Hawaii, I returned to Pennsylvania. Two weeks after coming back to Pennsylvania, my wife moved out. My life is more complicated, but I won't get into detail.
Again, I thank you for your perspective because now I have a better idea of what people I talk to are thinking. | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/6/2004 10:28:50 PM | | Women aren't interested in the excess baggage, your wife's call etc. Just a game PUT yourself in their shoes. Get a divorce. | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/7/2004 8:51:15 AM | | I know a guy who is going to leave his wife. He wants to "date" me. I refused. He didn't understand because we get along well and both drive hot cars, etc. I asked him if his wife knew he was going to leave her. He said, "not yet". I then asked, "Why would I get in line to be the next woman you lie to? That's just silly!" | |
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WS6TA
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Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 15 | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/7/2004 11:07:20 AM | | Depends upon how long he's been separated. People have different reasons for not making divorce legal. I wouldn't date anyone who was fresh out of a relationship, married or not. I'm not interested in legal marriage, so it doesn't matter to me if a man is legally available. It matters more to me whether he's emotionally available. | |
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| Marriage minded man soon available
Posted: 11/7/2004 9:17:50 PM | @jordan... easy for you to say all that, but it's obvious you've never gone thru a separation and divorce. as a separated man, whose final divorce papers are simply waiting for the court system to get their act together, i carry no labels that say "do me while you can!" your comments are insulting...
bluepony's opinion is the mainstream i think, and it is entirely to be respected. there are a lot of dishonest married men out there, and there's not a lot of room for trust in this area.
but above all, darlingnada's perspective is the closest to reality.
most everyone else has made a broad, and often unrealistic generalization about separated people - both men and women. Separated means "divorced without the papers, just waiting for the courts to get their act together" OR, it could mean "we're just taking a break and it's likely we could work things out." but that's not up to anyone but the individual who is separated to decide. if you want to be fair, you gotta ask first before making up your mind. | |
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GfW
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Joined: 11/6/2004
Msg: 18 | |
| Marriage minded man soon available
Posted: 11/22/2004 3:26:19 PM | I agree with gatorgrip ... I left my wife a year ago next week. I have no interest in her or in gatting back together after 17 years married.
I think the difference if a legal technicality ... I do not live with my spouse, therefore I am separated but yes, still legally married. When I am divorced it will be legal before the courts and society.
If you are worried about what separated means ... ask the person you're interested in. You probably have a 50/50 chance of getting the truth because there are a lot of married men (and women) who will pass themselves off as divorced or single or separated.
Somebody earlier said that if you're separated then you're taking a break and may get back together (my words not theirs). I know several people of separated, divorced and then a few years later, got married again.
If it sucked the first time, it will probably suck the second as well. | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/22/2004 8:04:51 PM | separated can mean many things...
too cheap to get a divorce
too lazy to get a divorce
using the last marriage ties as an excuse not to commit
wants her back
it can never be good.
divorced fine, whatever. as long as he's not still paying alimony. the last thing you need in a relationship is the last woman coming every few weeks with her hand out bringing hell every time. | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/23/2004 8:04:48 AM | I think the one conclusion we can draw, here, is that the word "separated" carries many, many meanings, most of them ill-received and even more ill-conceived. The cold, hard truth is, if you're separated, you should lie about it and say you're single. If you find The One you can be honest with her, and if she loves you she'll understand.
On a similar topic, we have too many "Seeking..." types here. They can all be construed to mean different things. What's the difference between "Short Term" and "Dating"? "Hang out", "Friends", and "Activity Partner"?
Catch my drift? Especially when the ones saying they want friends, a short term or dating really want a husband but just want to take it slow or be friends first | |
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| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/23/2004 9:51:38 AM | Well to me separated means there is still a chance for reconcilliation....That for me is a dead NO WAY sign...
Divorced means that there is scar tissue to deal with, but he is likely a good catch.
Single means I just am not sure I want to be committed...But over all a great catch, if you can rope him in...
Single Father means I am very loving, and caring, he is an EXCELLENT catch... | |
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GfW
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Joined: 11/6/2004
Msg: 22 | |
| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/23/2004 5:28:39 PM | So I guess lying about your marital status is the way to go? I look at it this way ... starting off anything woth a lie is a sad reflection on who you are and what you're about. I am separated, not divorced, not single ... and as much chance of reconciliation as I have of shooting a sub par round of golf.
I think too many people are putting too much emphasis on a chance of getting back together. A single gut can just as easily go back to an old girlfriend as a divorced man can go back to the divorced wife. Why are those OK but heaven forbid if you're separated ... you're obviouls going back. | |
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GfW
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Joined: 11/6/2004
Msg: 24 | |
| What do women think of a man who is
Posted: 11/24/2004 5:50:28 PM | Kewt ... some of us or most of us are getting that divorce. But even if I am and the process takes a year, in that time I am still only separated, legally.
As I said earlier ... if you're attracted to somebody it doesn't really matter if they are single, separated or divorced (and some don't really care if they are still married and living together) ... if it bothers you just ask. If he/she is an honest person then they will answer honestly.
I am separated ... but never getting back with her.
Ask me and I'll be honest with you because that's the way I am. If I am a man who wants to hide something then I will lie. Simple.
So Kewt ... ask me. | |
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