| | What is the first mental thing you look for in a partner?Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | By mental, I mean personality. Nice stuff. Not: how good is your psycho-radar.
I'm not totally sure what the first thing I look for in a woman's personality, but I think I look for an indication of assertive compromise. The old: "I'm not going to be a doormat, but I'm not going to treat you like one either." That is the first big tick to me.
What about you? What is the first thing you look for in a partner's personality? | |
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| What is the first mental thing you look for in a partner?
Posted: 12/14/2011 7:31:16 AM | Sparkly eyes...no wait, that's physical. Handsome face...nope, physical...err...tight butt...right, physical again. Got it! A man who is really into shallow women. 
For real though, the personality traits I am most drawn to are a mix of ... self-assured without crossing into arrogance, self-contained without crossing into aloofness, and open without crossing into neediness. I guess it boils down to them having the capacity for inter-dependence without being someone who seems to need to be on either side of the co-dependency equation. These types are not inclined to fuss, dither, pander, sulk, get defensive, or be all desperately trying to prove themselves, whether through bragging or desperate attempts to portray themselves as the life of the part-ay. They don't have to cos there's just this certain calm, sure, easy air they have about them; a natural inner confidence. It's quite irresistible and I had the good sense to marry the last perfect example I found. (Did I mention they also have to have really dodgy taste in women?)
This will sound like a pukey cliche, but it's like they are their own man. Just, preferably without having attended an organised therapy event where they spent a weekend crying and howling at the moon with a bunch of naked guys to rediscover their manhood. That's what fishing trips are for. Or something. | |
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| What is the first mental thing you look for in a partner?
Posted: 12/15/2011 1:41:43 AM | easy.........
did they take the time, too dress...........
then, its about the walk, their look......Yer, the way they hold themselfs......
personality........without a date......
& then the list goes on from there
& at the end of the date, as they running & screaming from the cafe..
do they look good or not | |
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Tah,
| | Joined: 11/18/2008
Msg: 6 | |
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| What is the first mental thing you look for in a partner?
Posted: 12/20/2011 12:57:54 AM | | The way in which the person talks to you , especially in a manner in which they talk about their family . I recently met a lady like that and for me it proved that she had a caring and loving heart | |
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| mental partners
Posted: 1/5/2012 11:31:51 AM | | Intelligence and compassion. Combine with a sense of humour and present with an interesting, different way of thinking, for an appeal it would be difficult to say no to. | |
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| What is the first mental thing you look for in a partner?
Posted: 1/5/2012 2:03:16 PM | The VERY first? Well on a dating site, the fact he'd actually bothered to read and comment on something in my profile.
And then if he didn't talk about 'needing' sex in the first couple of emails or at the first meet
Well he might just have some potential :) | |
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| What is the first mental thing you look for in a partner?
Posted: 1/6/2012 4:43:50 AM | Hey Pedantic,
Read your profile - sorry about your dog - that is sad :(
Re scribbling in your diary.......can you let us know how your 'trial run' goes?
I am sure those guys on dating sites that don't ask - would love to know your success rate :)
Yeah I know I have a lot of restrictions - but I don't want to make the age too low (might be construed as a cougar - although I might try one day if I get really desperate and want a 'trial run' myself :)
And I know the age 60 limit probably seems really shallow and restrictive too - but I have worked with the over 65s and I have helped way too many women by referring them to Carer Agencies who have been pushed into caring roles in their late 50s and early 60s due to partnering men several years older than them.
I know age doesn't always make a difference but it increases the odds.
And the no drugs, not married, etc seem pretty straightforward to me :) | |
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| What is the first mental thing you look for in a partner?
Posted: 1/6/2012 8:37:48 AM | I got dumped by text msg by my long term b/f 4 days after my father passed away.
So off to the pub us girls go a few days later to drown my sorrows so to speak.
I ended up talking to a guy and explaining to him why I was out that night and he and I ended up talking then laughing then feeling sad then laughing. Point is 'He made me laugh' at a time when I wanted to bury my head in the sand!
I didn't really take notice of his physical apppearance as it didn't matter. He made me feel good.
As it turned out we have now been dating for just over 6 months. I look at him and see what other's do not see. He is beautiful to look at and has a heart of gold.
So the first mental thing in a partner that I look for is 'being on the same planet' as me and he was, after he lost his own father a few weeks ago. | |
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| What is the first mental thing you look for in a partner?
Posted: 1/6/2012 3:41:47 PM | That's a lovely story Juliet - you are so right it's the inner person that matters so much more.
Which is why I might have a profile here and on a PAYG dating site - but I don't really expect to find anyone.
Because on a dating site in blunt reality - we go on appearances first - because often the profile says nothing. And in my experience MOST men don't even bother reading profiles - so if they think they wouldn't need a paper bag.................
(yep call me cynical - and I know about the 'universe' stuff)
And most people are neither beautiful or photogenic :)
In 'Real Life' we often get to know someone first through our work, friends or in your case, at a time in our lives when another person reaching out can change our lives.
Which is why people often say "She/he would never have been my type but....."
But there is something about the person's eyes, smile, demeanor that just can't be transcribed into a two dimensional photo image.
So I do hope to meet someone eventfully - but I suspect it will be more likely IRL than on any dating site.
But as the saying goes (used to be Lotto's catch-call I think) "you never know if you don't have a go"
Hope things continue to go great for you :) | |
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| What is the first mental thing you look for in a partner?
Posted: 1/6/2012 4:39:25 PM |
Glad to hear you've thought long and hard about this - Happy :)
1.2 seconds of life came and went. just a moment, need to tie my shoe laces.
typing about tying things up;
Yeah I know I have a lot of restrictions
that's called weeding dear | |
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Robert
| | Joined: 2/27/2011
Msg: 24 | |
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btw, kudo's on the mention of the wilson sisters, incredible voices.
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