| | I'm lost, I need some help as to what it is about me?Page 1 of 1 | So, I've been at it for 4 months now on 3 dating sites, match//pof. I've change my profile around several times and changed out my pictures as well. Messaged probably around 40 to 50 women and only one replied about how strongly she felt that she should respond to my message and about me seeming nice but not her type. I've had a few cougars message me for sex which I didn't even reply to and one pregnant woman message me, which I don't see why any woman would want to start dating while pregnant. Focus on yourself and the baby or work things out with the father ehhh.
Anyway I need help, what is it about me? Just spell it out to me I can handle it. I write decent messages too talking about interests and things I can pick out that we have in common and nothing. Lately I've been getting more lazy and don't put much effort into messages cuz it seems not to matter. I would go back to bars but rather dislike them and the sort I meet there so been trying to put real effort into the online dealieo... It's not like I'm the shy type I want nothing more to be meeting people and getting to know them and at least finding someone for a relationship but I can't even get to a conversation. I have even tried drastically lowering my attraction standards to see if it had something to do with how I looked on here. I typically go for the average girl next door types. So helpful input would be appreciated. | |
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| I'm lost, I need some help as to what it is about me?
Posted: 12/15/2011 1:47:22 PM | before I start.. what is that drawing your holding?
did you draw that?
if so.. I am flabbergasted at how good it is.
~~~~~~~ profile is a little long
too many pics of the same pose. You could easilt eliminate the first 2 paragraphs...
and tweak the rest.
I don't care for your screen name, sounds like a chest illness.. lol...
your art is incredible !!!
you can save the info on the first 2 paragraphs for in person chat, after you meet someone. | |
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| I'm lost, I need some help as to what it is about me?
Posted: 12/15/2011 1:51:34 PM | | Yeah that's my artwork, I wouldn't show it if it wasn't. It's a fail attempt to give people something to messages me about lol. I taught myself how to do that stuff too, I never took a single art class. Well I did take one in college but I got into a fight about technique and I quit the class cause she was failing me. | |
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| I'm lost, I need some help as to what it is about me?
Posted: 12/15/2011 6:17:53 PM | | Anyone else any ideas? I've done the really short profile thing to no avail. Pictures I mean I dunno that's me what else is there to see. I mean yeah I could take some with friends but I rather not be plastering their face on here either. I could be a typical guy and take picture of me and my car or something lol, but meh... | |
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| I'm lost, I need some help as to what it is about me?
Posted: 12/15/2011 6:43:19 PM | OP, your profile thumbnail picture is good enough to be clicked on, but the first thing I noticed was that every single one of the four pictures on the profile were taken in the same room. It gives most women the impression that the author never gets out of his room, and most women don't want to take a challenge like that.
That may not be a fair assumption, but the pictures do convey that impression, regardless of what the profile actually says.
Most women look at the pictures before they read the profile. Having more variety in pictures will at least show women that you do have a life outside of your room. If there's a huge hang up with violating the privacy of your friends by posting a picture with them, crop them out.
Best of luck. | |
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| I'm lost, I need some help as to what it is about me?
Posted: 12/15/2011 7:38:03 PM | | That's a good point psytle that I really didn't think of. I normally don't read images in such a way. Guess I'm so use to looking at pictures in a different light. That sort of thing doesn't even register to me when I visit other profiles either. I'll have to give it a try though, thx. | |
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| I'm lost, I need some help as to what it is about me?
Posted: 12/15/2011 8:59:12 PM | As a Californian observing your location, I know what kind of picture I'd get first.
I'd get a picture outside in the snow and the sun shining with a huge smile...but that might not be as exotic and adventurous in New York as it is here, ha. | |
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| I'm lost, I need some help as to what it is about me?
Posted: 6/15/2012 9:47:00 AM | Pic wise, you need a full-body shot. You should also lose the pics of you in the sunglasses. The moth pic is so-so, but the pic of you with the drawing is fantastic.
Write-up wise, take advantage of the fact that you're artistic. Why do you draw, anyway? | |
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| I'm lost, I need some help as to what it is about me?
Posted: 6/21/2012 9:07:50 PM | Wish there was a way to edit the first message of this post...
Yeah I always have the worst pictures, taking pictures of ones self is not easy. Guess I need to try and take all new ones again! I just hate body shots as i'm thin and I try to hide that plus setting a timer on a camera propped up on a stool or something is not easy then running to where you have it focused hehe. It always looks un-relaxed and forced cause I just ran to the spot.
So no glass, need full body shot, yikes. Would something like me in my workout pants washing the car shirtless be too much? Its something I actually do on hot days.
How's the text part though, too long again? When there is a 1 to 9 ratio of women to men I feel I really have to sell myself. I dunno I like lengthy women's profiles as it gives me lots to talk about and a good idea if I should message them or not. Speaking of which what do you ladies like in messages? I normally talk about common interests or if I find something I have questions about I ask. Sometimes I'll try conversation starters but I always ask questions. A few I've tried making fun of too, one laughed, another talked to me for a little bit then flaked and the other threaten me, haha. Over the past months I've been experimenting on just POF for fun as I've become immune to rejection after 200+ messages, you could tell me to die and I be would like meh....
As to why I draw? its like me poring my heart out on paper. I was once so broken heated I just picked up a pencil and started drawing the thing I wanted so badly which was to have a girl in my life. When I was done I crumpled it up and threw it away, my sister then found it in the garbage took it too me and said it was really good and that I should keep it so I did and started drawing more. I dunno that sounds a little creepy or intense though.
Really Both those pictures were done on the computer, the girl is a digital painting using photoshop and the other is a 3D rending I made using a program called Lightwave 3D which is used in making games, tv and movies. In the past I've even done a little for the History Channel and TLC but was very small stuff and was only cuz I knew of someone who was also freelancing with them and they got overloaded and had me make some assets. Also done some stuff for a local news station in the past. | |
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| I'm lost, I need some help as to what it is about me?
Posted: 6/21/2012 9:15:33 PM | You are very articulate, however I would remove the first four (4) paragraphs from your profile. Save your "story" for an actual connection. Your interests paragraph and what you are looking for paragraph should be enough for someone to decide if they are interested in knowing more and then you can tell them more (the first four paragraphs).
Although well written, your profile comes across as too long of a read.
Other than that, your pictures are great, might want to have your eyes showing for the main pic, keep the sunglass one in the background pics. | |
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| I'm lost, I need some help as to what it is about me?
Posted: 6/24/2012 11:04:57 PM | It's really not a bad profile. This whole process is a numbers game and patience is absolutely necessary.
What is your username on the other sites? I'm getting a sense of deja vu from your profile. | |
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| I'm lost, I need some help as to what it is about me?
Posted: 6/25/2012 1:22:42 AM | | Don't give up, all, or most of the decent guys go through the same thing here. No messages, no replies.... Most of the women here are waiting for the unattainable "perfect" guy. When it finally dawns on them that it will never happen, they will come looking for the "good" guys, and I will tell them very politely to go to hell. | |
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