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 Chrissy19802010
Joined: 10/18/2010
Msg: 1
Why is it that men are so impatient?Page 1 of 1    
I have not been on this dating site for too long. However it seems that the guys I decide to have a conversation with always seem impatient. I'm the type of woman that wants to take things slow. I say this because I have learned a hard lesson in my past relationship. Yes I would love to hear those three letter words one day. The reason why my guard is up is because I was lied to and cheated on throughout my last relationship. So you bet I'm going to want to take it slow. Why do guys. Run when they find that out? Any advice would be appreciated.
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 2
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Why is it that men are so impatient?
Posted: 12/17/2011 12:28:20 PM
Take what slow?
A conversation??
If you tell a guy "I'm the type of woman that wants to take things slow. I say this because I have learned a hard lesson in my past relationship ...because I was lied to and cheated on throughout my last relationship" they'll probably bail. It just sounds like too much work!

Why do you have to announce it? Why don't you just let things unfold naturally.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 3
Why is it that men are so impatient?
Posted: 12/17/2011 12:30:06 PM

you bet I'm going to want to take it slow. Why do guys. Run when they find that out? Any advice would be appreciated

It is all relative. Many guys will have other options and not wait a year for you to come around and get involved..

You have choices, so do they.. When you make the right choice for you, he may actually stick around for that year.. or two..
 Chrissy19802010
Joined: 10/18/2010
Msg: 4
Why is it that men are so impatient?
Posted: 12/17/2011 12:32:14 PM
For one thing I need a guys advice on this. And this is a Forum correct?...this is where we are "entitled" to ask a question. Then in turn receive advice.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 5
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Why is it that men are so impatient?
Posted: 12/17/2011 12:32:27 PM
They run because they don't want to deal with someone's hang-ups over their past baggage. It's a huge downer and the other poster was correct. Too much work!

Also, you don't get to dictate who replies here. Read the forum rules.
 Silent Steel
Joined: 2/18/2009
Msg: 6
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Why is it that men are so impatient?
Posted: 12/17/2011 12:34:52 PM
Just hurry the hell up and tell me what you mean by wanting to hear those three letter words someday!!! And we could avoid a lot of wasted time if you would attach a nude photo with your response!!
 Flurr
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 7
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Why is it that men are so impatient?
Posted: 12/17/2011 12:39:00 PM
First how slow is slow? and are we talking about taking weeks before we meet for the first time? Because that's bullshit no matter what your baggage is, that's like telling your kids to wait til February to open their presents. And waiting too long to get involved would be like telling them after they open their presents they can't play with them til July! haha but the way I view it is the longer it takes for them to show interest the least interested they probably are and I'm better off looking elsewhere. Don't forget everybody is a stranger at first so you have to look out for number 1 first. Good luck ;)
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 8
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Why is it that men are so impatient?
Posted: 12/17/2011 12:51:40 PM
What are three letter words?

You haven't told us enough about your interactions with these men, so I have no idea why they run. However, my observation just from reading your profile and the way you've been acting in this forum, I think you'd be better off doing some healing work on yourself.

It's unlikely that you will find the kind of man you are looking for while you are in this condition.
 Chrissy19802010
Joined: 10/18/2010
Msg: 9
Why is it that men are so impatient?
Posted: 12/17/2011 12:52:47 PM
Ok "Scotty" ...no need to be rude. It was a simple question. Nothing to get mad about. I'm not saying it will take weeks even. These days you really have to watch who you meet. As for baggage?... there is no drama in my life. I'm on here because I'm a single mom. However I'm not lookiing for someone to be a dad . They have their dad. Things are very civil. I work 12hr shifts in the nursing field and I'm very happy. Just don't want to rush things. Dating is scary but I'm trying again.
 Chrissy19802010
Joined: 10/18/2010
Msg: 10
Why is it that men are so impatient?
Posted: 12/17/2011 12:58:16 PM
It's been almost 2yrs since my last relationship. We did fall in love fast and that's what I meant about learning my lesson. I'm doing well. Just being a lot more careful with the man I choose to date.
 Flurr
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 11
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Why is it that men are so impatient?
Posted: 12/17/2011 1:01:25 PM
If you have kids I think its a good sign you want to take it slow actually, plus your kids have an active father and no need for a replacement and that's what will scare guys off more. But after reading your profile I would delete the end part about moving too fast and keep the no rush for a relationship part. It gives the right impression without scaring anybody off. This is a problem right? or you wouldn't have posted the thread :-)
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 12
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Why is it that men are so impatient?
Posted: 12/17/2011 1:01:39 PM
"Ok "Scotty" ...no need to be rude." He wasn't but what he said obviously hit a sore spot, but that's on you NOT him. From what you've posted, "I want to take it slow rather than take some time to work through the issues the last guys left me with. You will pay, while I figure it out, for what they left, so give me the time to go at MY speed."

How's that? If you're so "scared" to date, why try to? It's not a requirement, if you don't realize the other person has a say as to what "speed" things go, too.

Was that too rude?
 Outdoorswmn
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 13
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Why is it that men are so impatient?
Posted: 12/17/2011 1:09:44 PM
Being lied to and cheated on is certainly reason to be cautious, but don't dwell in that world forever or stick that patch on your forhead every time you meet someone. You can't go through life thinking all men are dirty rotten scoundrels. Be more open and natural about the whole process. If someone is pushing too hard too soon THAT is the time to tell them you like to take things a bit slower, if they continue with the pressure just move on, they're not right for you. Sometimes you have to meet a few before you find one that is genuine and sincere. Good Luck!
 NarcissusTemple
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 14
Why is it that men are so impatient?
Posted: 12/17/2011 1:12:12 PM
I'm not sure what you mean by taking it slow.
You mean before or after you've met?

If it's the first, then most online daters realize that communication before the meet can be wasted time since chemistry is determined in person.

If it's the second, then it seems you haven't found anyone who's willing to invest the time you're needing to feel comfortable.

In either case, if you're explaining your ex's infidelity as a reason for keeping your distance, then you're operating from guilty-until-proven-innocent.
Not a very positive place to come from when trying to get to know someone.
I'm not saying blanket trust should be given, but positive expectations come across differently than negative.

I don't think the other poster was being rude or angry. I agree with his comments
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 15
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Why is it that men are so impatient?
Posted: 12/17/2011 1:12:35 PM

The reason why my guard is up is because I was lied to and cheated on throughout my last relationship. So you bet I'm going to want to take it slow.

your agenda seems to be to avoid the emotional risk of getting close, so you keep your distance. nothing wrong with that, but how is that the fault of strangers?
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 16
Why is it that men are so impatient?
Posted: 12/17/2011 1:30:33 PM
We hear it a dozen times a day here in the Forums, "Take it slow"....
Then a week later the you're complaining that men don't call back. Oh, well you see, they're "taking it slow" to call you back.

Next thread you'll tell us you met a "respectful" man, but you're "too busy" to meet him, so all you want to do is TEXT TEXT TEXT. And you'll complain that he doesn't answer your TEXT messages fast enough. So the slow guy is not fast enough when it comes to texts.

Shooooshshshhs!!! We have heard it 10 times today already! Stop complaining, and start DOING something about your speed mismatch. When a guy sends you an email, lay out the schedule for him. Tell him HOW SLOW you need to go. One date a week? One date every TWO weeks? A phone call every harvest moon? A date when your kid gets out of pre-school? You want people to know your timeline, you need to FIGURE IT OUT and SPELL IT OUT.
 Chrissy19802010
Joined: 10/18/2010
Msg: 17
Why is it that men are so impatient?
Posted: 12/17/2011 1:34:06 PM
Thanks outdoorswmn and to everyone else for your advice. I suppose some of you are right. Dating isn't always easy. I'm 31 and ready to be in a relationship. I know I have to open up more...I know not all men are not bad...guess i just need to break down the wall and give someone a chance.
 Johnnie1270
Joined: 5/13/2010
Msg: 18
Why is it that men are so impatient?
Posted: 12/17/2011 1:39:06 PM
The reason why my guard is up is because I was lied to and cheated on throughout my last relationship. So you bet I'm going to want to take it slow. Why do guys. Run when they find that out? Any advice would be appreciated.

I would read that as you are carrying the scars of your last relationship and this would be a potential issue in the relationship. I would want to date you not prove that not all men are mean lying cheats .....if you dont realise this then why are you dating ?
I suspect you would look for things that your ex did and get nervous /suspicious about this [ no idea if you would tbh] so it may put me off. i would probably ask loads of questions tbh and decide on your answers

It may make men think you are just not ready yet
We have all been hurt...there will be folk on here hurt by wifes , suffered affairs , betrayal etc but if you are not over this then I would not massively want to help you achieve this. Sort your head out , stop doubting yourself and be prepared to risk it and be prepared to date os LOVE LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN HURT
 BountyHunterMike
Joined: 10/5/2011
Msg: 19
Why is it that men are so impatient?
Posted: 12/17/2011 1:41:05 PM
Take your time and learn about the man u wan t to be with...Nothing wrong with that..

CHRISSY...we all have been lied to and used ....just got to keep your head up and going forward...wish u the best

THIS IS ASK GUY FORUM!! NOT A ASK A GIRL FORUM.....THEY HAVE ONE OF THOSE!!
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 20
Why is it that men are so impatient?
Posted: 12/17/2011 1:57:02 PM
Chrissy time to Upgrade, perhaps its the men you are encountering?
Any guy that wants to run because you want to take it slow isnt worth the aggravation, I would strongly suggest you dont put all your eggs in one basket though.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 21
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Why is it that men are so impatient?
Posted: 12/17/2011 1:59:16 PM
"THIS IS ASK GUY FORUM!! NOT A ASK A GIRL FORUM.....THEY HAVE ONE OF THOSE!!" Any member can post in any thread, according to the posting rule, but typing in all CAPS is a violation. You probably read too fast......
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 22
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Why is it that men are so impatient?
Posted: 12/17/2011 1:59:53 PM
You've been here long enough to know that everyone can post in Ask a Guy. And don't yell, it's rude. But,yeah, we get it, you have shown the fair maiden that here is one fine and upstanding knight I shining armor who will defend her against apparent wrong gender posting.

We're proud of you.
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