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 AUTHOR
 Synectics
Joined: 7/7/2010
Msg: 1
Date wants me to pay for boardingPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
So, I have been dating a woman for about a month. We hit it off pretty good and I asked her if she would like to go to Palm Springs for New Years. I’d drive and we would stay there for a couple of days and enjoy some activities, casino gambling and dining.

She has two dogs. Today she asked me if I would pay to board the dogs for four days. I asked her if a friend could check in on them and she replied “I don’t trust my friends to take care of my dogs.”

What would you do?
 TuffGuy666
Joined: 11/22/2011
Msg: 2
Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 3:39:10 PM
Tuff Guy's Simple Three Step Solution:

1. Will there be sex on this trip?

2. If so, pay for the dog boarding.

3. If not, make her pay
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 3
Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 3:41:56 PM
Not your responsibility. You've invited her on a trip, you didn't offer to pick up her financial obligations whilst you're both away. Jeez, is she expecting you to pay her rent for the couple of days she's not home too ?
 TallChick61
Joined: 1/21/2010
Msg: 4
Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 3:43:55 PM
They are HER dogs, therefore HER responsibility. The fact that she asked you to pay tells me she's not a responsible person, bordering on gold-digger.

Tell her that not only will you NOT be paying for boarding, that you expect her to share the expenses of the trip: gas, hotel, etc.

If she refuses, curb her. She may do you a favor and curb herself - either way, you're better off.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 5
Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 3:44:40 PM
If I was in your shoes there is no way Im paying for her dogs to be boarded, I understand helping out if she is short on cash that I get, but I think its really tacky on her part to ask a guy she is seeing for a month to pay for HER DOGS in a kennel.

If that was me , I would kick her to the curb, this is just a sign of things to come, some people are just tacky and rude .





 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 6
Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 3:44:43 PM
HELL NO. You are providing the car, the gas, the entertainment, the food, the lodging, the return trip, the companionship, and the Altoids.

Her mistrust of her friends is NOT YOUR ISSUE. If you cave in on this, she'll be asking you to buy her party clothes next, then new purses and jewelry.

She's too stingy to pay boarding fees for her own dogs? Tell her to call DADDY!

Don't fall for the "I'll make it worth your while..." crappola!! She'll come up with a stomach ache, an allergy, a phone call -- "What? My dogs are sick?!" excuse. Don't toss a grand out the window on the shaky possibility of 5 minutes of sex and a glimpse of a nipple in the dark. Geeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzz........
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 7
Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 3:46:35 PM
Where did you pick this woman up?

You have only known her for one month.
I can't really answer as I don't know what her financial situation is.
But you do ...

So what you gonna do?
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 8
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Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 3:48:41 PM
Dunno........... you asked her.
Boarding a dog is 5 to 10 dollars a day. You asked someone OBVIOUSLY broke, so why don't you just go ahead and pay.
It goes without saying she can't, does NOT feel comfortable with one of her friends pet sitting ...........................so just pay it and enjoy the trip.

Do you ask a woman to a fancy meal and want her to pay the tip?

You asked her, so try to cover all basis, esp when its something so trival as dog boarding.... geeez.
She is OBVIOUSLY broke or she wouldn't be asking.......... even better, make plans so her dogs can come. Some hotel chains allow dogs.
Be a hero and solve the problem, quite complaining and about something so trivial !
 GoldinSFla
Joined: 10/21/2011
Msg: 9
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Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 3:51:49 PM
^^ Makes sense, but what if she's made it clear she's not willing to go past second or third base? Should he then offer to pay to board only one of the dogs?

To give you a serious answer OP, at first I thought that she was a little nervy asking you to board her dogs, but after thinking about it for a while, you did invite her on the trip and the person who invites usually pays. While dog boarding might not seem like it should be part of the trip expenses, if she can't go on the trip without boarding her dogs and if its an expense she wouldn't have had if you hadn't invited her, then I don't think its that outragous. Im not saying you have to, but you might at least want to discuss it with her. Maybe she'll agree to at least pick up some of the expense.
 thelastslowdancer
Joined: 12/23/2011
Msg: 10
Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 3:52:08 PM
TuffGuy pretty much sums it up. Just think what a pain it would be to have her constantly worrying about the dogs the whole trip.
 ForumsGee
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 11
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Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 3:55:37 PM
Its her dog..she has to find a dog sitter or she does not go to the ball..

Umm I would also watch this one..seems like she's getting a little sassy with you...could be an indication of whats to come..
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 12
Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 3:57:10 PM
Who gives a rat's ass if you're going to get sex.

That's really nice.."If you f-ck me, I'll pay to have your dogs put up for the few days we're on vacation otherwise you're on your own".

If it was me, and I liked her, and she really was having a tough time with the finances I'd do it with no problem, and no expectations.

Then again I'm not cheap and just looking for sex like most of the respondants on this thread who make guys like me look freaking amazing.

And I'd probably get laid, not because I paid, but because I'm a freaking nice amazing guy. The sex is much better when that's the reason.

 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 13
Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 3:57:35 PM

Boarding a dog is 5 to 10 dollars a day.

You gotta tell me how to get rates like that! It costs a lot more at the two places around here.

But on topic, no, I would not pay for that. The dogs are her responsibility and she has to see that they're cared for to her liking. If you'd been dating her longer you may consider it but this, to me, is a red flag.
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 14
Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 4:01:08 PM
Today she asked me if I would pay to board the dogs for four days. I asked her if a friend could check in on them and she replied “I don’t trust my friends to take care of my dogs.
Before I get my jockeys in a knot about this I would have to ask a few questions?

1. Can she afford to pay for boarding herself.
2. Would paying to board the dogs be a big deal for you?

If I invite a woman to go someplace with me for 4 days and I am picking up the tab. Then I will be paying for every expense that comes with the trip. If that included footing the bill for boarding the dogs then so be it. It's not like a extra few hundred dollars is going to somehow chance my life either way.

Asking her to burden her friends with the care of her dogs for 4 days is truly stretching the boundries of friendship. Why in the world would she do that when boarding them is so much easier?.

I would gladly pay for boarding the dogs to put her mind at rest. If she isn't worrying about her pets she will be enjoying the trip much more. We would have a much better time if her mind was on me instead of what's going on back home with her dogs.


fact is if you knew she had these dogs then you should have been concerned enough to talk about their care when suggesting the trip. Dogs can't walk and feed themselves.
Why let something so simple be a pimple in the path of what could be a great trip.
 CountryCowgirl9
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 15
Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 4:03:41 PM
When I grow up... I wanna be one of those hot chicks that somehow get rich men to pay for everything...

How 'bout you not date people that would put their dog in a tiny cage 10 hours a day just to go hump some guy at a casino?

some people really don't need dogs... fyi, if you live in an apartment or keep them cooped up in a postage stamp backyard, I'm talking to you.
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 16
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Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 4:04:17 PM
Boy you sure know how to pick them.
Aren't you playing this game with another woman, planning a trip to New York?
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 17
Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 4:04:42 PM
what is teh age difference between you two ?
 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 18
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Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 4:05:15 PM

Boarding a dog is 5 to 10 dollars a day.
You gotta tell me how to get rates like that! It costs a lot more at the two places around here.

My thoughts exactly!
I've spent between 200 - 300 per week.

WTF??? If someone treated me to a mini-vacation I'd HAPPILY spring for boarding my dog.

I don't say this much, but DUMP HER!!!!
 SwanSpirit
Joined: 10/30/2008
Msg: 19
Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 4:08:18 PM
I think the question you want to ask yourself is: if she can't afford to pay what would you rather: not pay and not go, or pay and go. It might be that simple.
 Synectics
Joined: 7/7/2010
Msg: 20
Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 4:10:20 PM
I just recently left a “pay to play” relationship based chiefly on comments in the POF forums. So I thank you all for that. I am not trying to start the same song and dance again.

Okay, she makes decent money working for a local defense contractor. Dog boarding here in San Diego is about $30 to $40 per dog, per night. The main concern I have is her claim that she doesn’t trust her friends with her dogs.

Also, when we previously talked, I said I was cool with no sex… that I just want to have a nice New Years and I gave her options like staying at home or going to a friend party.
Now I’m having second thoughts about the whole trip.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 21
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Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 4:10:48 PM

Boarding a dog is 5 to 10 dollars a day.

that'll get you a homeless guy who'll tie your mutts to a fire hydrant with a length of dirty cord and feed them dumpster scraps when he' s not running the empty gas can hustle at the corner filling station.

in the op's part of the world, actual boarding is gonna run $30 a day minimum, depending on the size of the dog.
 Synectics
Joined: 7/7/2010
Msg: 22
Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 4:14:59 PM
TDH49, to answer your questions. If she can afford to shop at Whole Foods, live in a condo with an ocean view, and drive a BMW… I hope that she can be responsible and pay for a kennel.

Yes, I can afford to pay for the kennel. But I have already offered to drive, pay for a nice hotel, pick up meals, and go to a show and so on…

This coming just days before leaving is a rather unpleasant surprise. If I pay, I feel that I am in the same pattern I was in the last couple of relationships. Where I paid for everything and I’m not going there again.
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 23
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Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 4:16:02 PM

I am not trying to start the same song and dance again.
Oh baby, the band is playing, you're wearing your dancing shoes and her dance card is empty.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 24
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Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 4:16:36 PM
30 dollars a day.. OH WOW... thats sooooooooooo much money
might break the seemingly generous asker of this trip.

( BIG eye roll)

Glad I never dated someone so cheap...... every girls dream to have a guy to ask her out on a trip, but refuse to cover the costs !




when you ask a date to dinner, do you also ask them to pay the tip? doorman? or coat check people? LOL
are you freaking kidding? geeeeez

let me guess... you are not going to provide her with gambling money, right?
and she will have to pay for her own meals...
so basically you are asking for company who pays for themselves... don't you have any guy friends to go with you ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"This coming just days before leaving is a rather unpleasant surprise. If I pay, I feel that I am in the same pattern I was in the last couple of relationships. Where I paid for everything and I’m not going there again."

so stop asking women you have known for a month on 4 day getaways.
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 25
Date wants me to pay for boarding
Posted: 12/27/2011 4:27:09 PM

This coming just days before leaving is a rather unpleasant surprise. If I pay, I feel that I am in the same pattern I was in the last couple of relationships. Where I paid for everything and I’m not going there again.


It's only been a month. You don't know here from Sasquatch. ONE MONTH. You've got cheese in the fridge older than that. Leave her at home, take one or two of your pals and go get stupid on a road trip. Have some genuine FUN rather than walking on egg shells around some woman you barely know who'll be watching a web cam of her dogs sitting around a yard. She won't even notice the bright lights. Go with your buds, you can stay out ALL NIGHT LONG and come back at dawn, sleep until 3pm and go get a buffet!!!
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