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 mighty_zep
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 1
how long before you ask a girl out?Page 1 of 1    
alright so ive been sending messages back and forth with this girl on pof. how long do you usually wait before you ask for that first date?
 7THstreet
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 2
how long before you ask a girl out?
Posted: 1/2/2012 7:30:55 PM
After a couple of e-mails .......just ask her if she wants to meet for coffee and go from there .
 tjl503
Joined: 9/29/2011
Msg: 3
how long before you ask a girl out?
Posted: 1/2/2012 7:32:08 PM
I'd say after around the 6th email. Some people have no intention on here to meet so asking sooner then later will weed out the flakes and people who are just on here to have their egos stroked by being a penpal.

Ask for her number, call her (don't text her) and ask her out in that phone conversation. Some people will tell you to not give out your number and set up the meet online, giving your number afterwards. I don't agree with that, I want to hear someones voice and have a small conversation and then ask to meet.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 4
how long before you ask a girl out?
Posted: 1/2/2012 7:35:15 PM
Set up an initial meeting within a couple of weeks. In a public place. Not a date - just a 30 minute coffee meet. Everyone can find 30 minutes for someone they think they are interested in.

If you exchange messages for longer, expectations get built up and normally one of you is disappointed with the reality. It also stops the situation of people who exchange messages with no intention of every taking anything into the real world.

If there is no interest in person, you've only lost half an hour of your life. If there is interest, then stay longer, move on somewhere else or arrange a real date.

Oh - and just because it's a coffee date meeting - make an effort. You don't need to be wearing a tuxedo but at least shower and smell fresh. You will be amazed by the amount of people who don't and then wonder why they never hear from the other person again.

EDIT:-

I don't agree with that, I want to hear someones voice and have a small conversation and then ask to meet.


Agreed - Do not text to arrange a meeting. Do not use text for the majority of your conversations. Speak to each other. Texting is not for having a whole conversation.
 FrankieSayRelax
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 5
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how long before you ask a girl out?
Posted: 1/2/2012 7:58:46 PM
I would wait at least 3-4 months, or until you've sent about 100 e-mails. NOT.

Come on! If there is mutual interest, why not ask right away? I met with someone the day after exchanging the first email. Go with your gut.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 6
how long before you ask a girl out?
Posted: 1/2/2012 8:02:58 PM
OP - depends on the girl and depends on how we get on with conversation, etc.


i've asked a girl out the day following the first msg for that night...
 k_brooks1313
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 7
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how long before you ask a girl out?
Posted: 1/2/2012 11:10:47 PM
I met a person online and then went on a date the same day...It didn't bother me at all, of course the guy did turn out to be fairly creepy and I pretty much ran from him...So take that into consideration
 kittycat199
Joined: 10/27/2011
Msg: 8
how long before you ask a girl out?
Posted: 1/3/2012 12:06:41 AM
I don't understand the concept of meet- and -greet, does the whole online screening really require another screening in real life? Maybe it's just me but when I go out with someone, I date. Unless they specifically want it to be a " hangout" I definitely won't take my time to dress up and impress you.

Honestly coffee dates are not fun at all, you might as well just go for dessert at a bakery. The worst that can happen is that you'll spend a little more money, but at the end of the day, even if things don't work out, you'll have went home with a full stomach of sweets.
 MrsMau5
Joined: 12/11/2011
Msg: 9
how long before you ask a girl out?
Posted: 1/3/2012 12:25:20 AM
i'd say after a week or 2 of back and forths.
 Muchness11
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 10
how long before you ask a girl out?
Posted: 1/3/2012 12:53:54 AM
I would definitely speak on the phone and take that step first. You will be able to tell by her voice when the time is right. You are just skipping a step in the comfort chain of online dating I think.
 raytheman
Joined: 10/6/2006
Msg: 11
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how long before you ask a girl out?
Posted: 1/3/2012 4:00:51 AM
I think you can see from the responses already there will be no definite answer here. If she knows how to communicate then it will be easy. You ask the question and she answers it. If shes playing games, you might be better off asking someone else.
 gronkrocks
Joined: 12/4/2011
Msg: 12
how long before you ask a girl out?
Posted: 1/3/2012 4:36:40 AM

Honestly coffee dates are not fun at all, you might as well just go for dessert at a bakery. The worst that can happen is that you'll spend a little more money, but at the end of the day, even if things don't work out, you'll have went home with a full stomach of sweets.


That's a great idea! I'm so gonna do that.

I HATE coffee dates. Who thought of that anyway?

"Hmm...how can I get this new chick to like me.....Oh I know! We'll meet for coffe because I'm most attractive when I'm hyper, jittery, and got the runs!":
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 13
how long before you ask a girl out?
Posted: 1/3/2012 4:39:18 AM

I don't understand the concept of meet- and -greet, does the whole online screening really require another screening in real life? Maybe it's just me but when I go out with someone, I date.


When you meet someone in real life, you are able to gauge if you are attracted to them or not, you can gauge if they are creepy, slick, etc.

When you 'meet' someone over the internet, you can't. They can represent themselves as anything they choose to. Because you haven't seen them and had the chance to do the initial assessment that we all sub-counsiously do whenever we meet someone, you have no idea what you are walking into.

There is nothing worse, then arranging a date for a full evening, showing up, and the person isn't who they claimed to be or their photos are 20 years old or they are just not very interesting to you. Depending on what you've arranged for the date, you might be stuck with them for a couple of hours or more.

The concept of the meet and greet is to eliminate all of that. You can focus your time and effort on people you actually want to spend more time with.
 Julietsdestiny
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 14
how long before you ask a girl out?
Posted: 1/4/2012 7:02:02 AM
Bite the bullet and ask her when you are both admitted into the same nursing home if you can remember where you first met.
Seriously if it feel's good then just do it.....She can only say No or maybe even Yes if your lucky, but at least you will know if she really is interested in meeting you.
 RedElectric
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 15
how long before you ask a girl out?
Posted: 1/4/2012 8:38:27 AM
Well, first read her page. Some chicks will say, "Hate emiling, would rather meet". Some say, "I don't meet right away, I want to get to know someone first". If they're new to the site, they probably will be cautious and it might take a few weeks. If they're seasoned, might be more into meeting right away. I have been doing this online dating off and on for ten-ish years and have learned my lesson with talking to people for an extended amount of time, meeting and not liking them, so I prefer to meet right away. You can't tell how you're going to get along with someone until you're face to face. So, I'd say, by the 3rd email, you should get their stance on meeting, and if they're draggin the meet out for longer than a month, cut your losses.
 tiptiptap
Joined: 12/28/2011
Msg: 16
how long before you ask a girl out?
Posted: 1/4/2012 1:41:19 PM
Still waiting for my first reply!!
 xelex
Joined: 12/14/2011
Msg: 17
how long before you ask a girl out?
Posted: 1/4/2012 2:18:38 PM
i would wait about a week - after emailing a few days anyways, then you know if you have stuff to say to each other rather then the 'how are you'.
 Kiwi_Paul
Joined: 10/11/2011
Msg: 18
how long before you ask a girl out?
Posted: 1/4/2012 2:54:56 PM
I prefer to meet sooner rather than messaging back and forward for too long.
I just ask them if they prefer to get to know someone online a bit before meeting or if they prefer to meet sooner if things seem ok, they will tell you their preference then you can gauge it from there.
 loooking4oneonly
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 19
how long before you ask a girl out?
Posted: 1/4/2012 6:38:05 PM
Ask when she is ready to say yes, if you dont know when that is then give me her email lol
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 20
how long before you ask a girl out?
Posted: 1/4/2012 6:57:48 PM
i jump in when i feel the woman is ready to meet me...
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