| | Why don't women approach guys much?Page 1 of 15 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15) | Call me crazy (waiting for the jokes on that one. LOL), but I'd really like to know why is it that women don't tend to make the first move/approach? I mean, I understand there's the typical answer of fear of rejection, etc. But it's just the same for men as it is women. Maybe it's just me, but I like to see confidence in a woman as well. Not to mention it's just as 'flattering' (and I don't really care for that word) to have a woman come up to a guy.
I typically don't like to generalize, because I know there's always exceptions and reasons for situations, but I'd really like to hear some comments on this topic. IDK, this is just my experience. | |
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| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/2/2012 11:15:58 PM | I am the queen of useless conversation starting... I can start a convo about anything with anyone.... if my girl is want to meet someone when we are out... I get a convo started... the key is to make it look and be random.....
the last two cruises me and my girls went on.... the random convo ended up with us getting free drinks most of the cruise.... and two girls dated guys that were met on the cruises......
I think most don't do it because of a fear of rejection.... but.... if it is kept simple and basic.... there is rarely rejection... | |
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| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/3/2012 10:26:17 AM | I HAVE sent e-mails to men on here ... but it's my opinion that most old men my age are set in their ways and their ways include THEM being the aggressor ... so I'm guessing they look at my note, probably think something like, "cheap floozie" ... and don't even bother to answer ... because they're not here to actually meet a potential companion ... they're here to blither in the forums about politics they won't man up and DO anything about ... except complain ...
so, for the most part ... I don't waste my time any more ...
as for meeting men in person ... same thing ... they expect this demure smile then shyness ... ehhhh ... who has time for their ego-trip games ???
when I was younger, I played their stupid tango of flirting ... it was fun for a very long time ...
but that's just not who I'm am now ... I'm looking for an intelligent man who's examined his life and has come to his own conclusions about his philosophies rather than just tagging along, riding on the coat tails of what our ancestors believed ... someone who's secure enough in himself that he's not offended when a woman contacts him ... | |
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| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/3/2012 12:38:13 PM | | Molly I agree, but there are a lot of women who love those chase games as well. I recently saw a woman post in the main forum that said she never calls the man even when they are dating. Now to me, I would take that as non-interest and just move on to someone else who shows interest in me as well. I did email my last girlfriend first but after a few emails it didn't sound like she was really interested and I didn't email her for a while. Then she sent me another email expressing her interest and how come I didn't continue talking to her. That's a ll it took for me. The woman I'm seeing now messaged me first, and I like how she is just a straight forward person. | |
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| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/3/2012 12:53:29 PM |
I mean, I understand there's the typical answer of fear of rejection
It's the typical answer because it's the truth.
I remember talking to a woman years ago at a nightclub, and she said that she had never even asked a guy to dance in her whole life. I asked her why, and she replied, "What if he said no? I'd be devastated." I think that's the standard thinking for many women, if not most.
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| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/3/2012 3:43:36 PM | According to the book I've been reading about "How to Make It With Women", men are STILL required to do most of the heavy lifting in the dating game. WE have to make first contact. WE have to start the flirting process. WE have to get the phone number. WE have to ask for the date. WE have to ask again when she didn't show for that date. WE have to plan, set up and pay for the date. WE have to ask for a second date, and so on.
Our reward for all this hard work ?
Look at the above poster, you tell me.
Score 1 for Landra !! | |
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| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/3/2012 5:27:05 PM | Thanks for the replies.
ANd I agree with Steve. I have no problem showing interest, but I'm no puppy dog following it's master begging to go for a walk, to be pet, or to be fed. Like I said, many men I know like a woman with confidence just as much as women like men with confidence. It's a two way street. Not to mention showing interest, mutual interest at that, is very important; IMO. | |
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| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/4/2012 12:55:29 AM | | this is why guys should get really good at yoga....if your flexable enough ,you wont need to be the whipping post for all the pretty pretty princesses | |
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| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/4/2012 10:20:33 PM |
this is why guys should get really good at yoga....if your flexable enough ,you wont need to be the whipping post for all the pretty pretty princesses I'm more flexible than I look.  | |
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| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/5/2012 10:04:14 AM | No need. I'm confident at least one of many men will approach. And they do.
To quote the inimitable Dr. Phil, "so how's that been workin' for 'ya" (and for all the other gals who complain about what they've been "picking")?
Agreed with Rich that it's just the way of things, and let's face it, it's "easy" and allows those more "traditional" women to offload the risk of rejection. Of course the problem is, by just waiting for "offers", they're basically limiting their choices to whatever they always tend to "attract"! | |
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| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/5/2012 11:59:26 AM | MEN – Wainwright
When a ship is sinking and they lower the lifeboats
And hand out the life jackets,
The men keep on their coats
The women and the children are the ones
Who must go first
And the men who try to save their skins
Are cowards and are cursed
Every man’s a captain, men know how to drown
Man the lifeboats if there’s room, otherwise go down
And it’s the same when there’s a war on:
It’s the men who go to fight
Women and children are civilians,
When they’re killed it’s not right
Men kill men in uniform, it’s the way war goes
When they run they’re cowards,
When they stay they are heroes
Every man’s a general, men go off to war
The battlefields a man’s world,
Cannon fodders what they’re for
It’s the men who have the power,
It’s the men who have the might
And the world’s a place of horror
Because each man thinks he’s right
A man’s home is his castle so the family let him in
But what’s important in that kingdom
Is the women and the children
A husband and a father, every man’s a king
But he’s really just a drone,
Gathers no honey, has no sting
Have pity on the general, the king, and the captain
They know they’re expendable, after all they’re men
i really dont even know why I try:( | |
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| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/5/2012 12:42:43 PM | | ^^^^^In return for all that, we were supposed to enjoy some privileges. Once upon a time, at least. But they've changed the rules of the game. We're still supposed to do all the hard stuff, but the privileges are gone. Still trying to figure out just what's in all this for us men . . . | |
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| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/5/2012 1:00:40 PM | | Let's just say, IMO the feminist movement for equality is simply used only for when it is convenient by most of the women I have run into. | |
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| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/5/2012 3:23:22 PM | Yes I think they only claim equality when it works them at that moment and the switch back and between the 2 roles on a whim and when it suits there wants and nobody elses.
Have you ever noticed how a woman that youve never met will flirt with you when she wants you to do something, either lifting, moving furniture, fix their car, or maybe threatening someone, you know the drill. | |
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| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/5/2012 4:11:03 PM | | Geez, where did you guys ever get the idea that this was supposed to be an "equitable" system (starting with the "mechanical requirements" of "biology")?!! ;-p | |
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| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/6/2012 12:12:32 PM | | I understand biology.. but when women in there 40s still act and try to date men like they did when they were in their 20s, can you really afford to be picky in your 40s and even 50s?? Is that going to work... ever.. I dont think so.. your vagina aint what it use be!! According to birth stats globally there is something like 105 males born for every 100 females, the reason why is that males die earlier than females.. war, disease and dumb behaviour takes it toll, and as the population ages, in each generation, there are less and less men available. So what does this all mean?? I think women in these age groups should be more proactive in finding and letting a guy know he might be wanted, it would really help us guys out:) | |
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| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/6/2012 1:51:23 PM | | My experience as a woman when I send a email to a man I rarely get a response...I thought it was because men don't like it when woman make the first move... IDK. Or I am too ugly lol who knows.. So to hear from a man's point of view it is interesting... I do approach men... with no results. | |
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| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/6/2012 2:33:46 PM | I feel your pain mom2liv... I have contacted a few women here on the site.. close to my age of course.. and only the ones I felt there was some common ground.. no reply at all and thats ok, because Im not going to cry over it.
I just realize there are many people here with strange expectations for a dating site, Im 45, Im pretty sure the 20 to 35 yo bracket is out of my reach.. but my last gf was 26yo and that was lots of fun believe me, but we had nothing in common except for one thing and I dont think thats too hard to figure out.
I dont try to saturate the site by trying to contact every girl I see, I stay within my league so to speak.. and Ill just wait and see what happens:) | |
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| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/6/2012 5:59:38 PM |
According to the book I've been reading about "How to Make It With Women", men are STILL required to do most of the heavy lifting in the dating game. WE have to make first contact. WE have to start the flirting process. WE have to get the phone number. WE have to ask for the date. WE have to ask again when she didn't show for that date. WE have to plan, set up and pay for the date. WE have to ask for a second date, and so on.
If men and women are not similarly situated in dating, how can there be marriage "equality"? | |
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| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/6/2012 6:22:29 PM |
[Why don't women approach guys much?]
No need. I'm confident at least one of many men will approach. And they do.
Well, I suppose that given the name of the site being so fish-related we can't be surprised that even in 2012 there are still women who perceive themselves as bait. | |
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| Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/6/2012 8:41:28 PM |
I feel your pain mom2liv... I have contacted a few women here on the site.. close to my age of course.. and only the ones I felt there was some common ground.. no reply at all and thats ok, because Im not going to cry over it.
I just realize there are many people here with strange expectations for a dating site, Im 45, Im pretty sure the 20 to 35 yo bracket is out of my reach.. but my last gf was 26yo and that was lots of fun believe me, but we had nothing in common except for one thing and I dont think thats too hard to figure out.
I dont try to saturate the site by trying to contact every girl I see, I stay within my league so to speak.. and Ill just wait and see what happens:) Same here. I've contacted several. ALthough I will say the majority were honestly just giving compliments without any alternative meaning. I've received more responses from those types of emails than those that I'd actually be interested in. And regarding the age thing; I'd be hard pressed to be interested in someone my own age. I prefer increasing my chances of not having game playing and immature crap, so with that I'll go with an older more mature woman that has some sense of independence. But, i'm sure they have some assumption that I'm only here to 'hook up' with a 'cougar' then be on my way. But if they want to assume, that's on them.  | |
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