|Ex-girlfriend partyingPage 1 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)|
|We broke up on the 27th of December, I was heartbroken as I loved her alot and she loved me. Long story short she broke up. Now yesterday(Wednesday she goes clubbing with her girl friends and she gets picked up by a guy. The next day (Thursday) She goes to me she was picked up by a guy, I was like already?? And today she's out again and she is texting me saying I am tipsy thanks to guys giving me shots after shots, and the only reason why I didn't invite you is because I wouldn't never dance or kiss a guy in front of you, cause I know it will kill you inside. Now it's 1:50 am and I am worried cause she's probably drunk by now and God knows what she's doing maybe even dancing with a guy grinding and even making out and who knows what else. So I am here at home worried and all sad.|
What should I do??
Posted: 1/5/2012 10:53:40 PM
|Find out how to block her phone from texting you.|
What she is doing to you is cruel. I'd go so far as to say nasty. She knows you are hurting and she is texting you about kissing, and picking up, other men.
Posted: 1/5/2012 10:54:57 PM
|It's her life, you don't have to hear about it after she broke up. Move on and don't look back.|
Posted: 1/5/2012 10:57:50 PM
What should I do??
You should go to sleep. She broke up with you 2 weeks ago (and no, she didn't love you that's why she broke up) so now, it is no business of yours where she's partying and who she's grinding against.
For good measure, delete her texts and block her if you can, you really don't need the insult to go with the injury.
Try to sleep now, and tomorrow is another day. Heartbreaks heal faster if you don't scratch the wounds.
Posted: 1/5/2012 11:01:23 PM
It's easy said than done, I love her still :(
Of course you do. It's only been a week or so.
But 'broken up' is 'broken up'.. she should not be informing you of what (or who) she is doing.
She is giving you very mixed signals (saying she would have invited you to join her) and you are about to go through a very confusing time if you do not nip it in the bud now.
It seems you are hoping she will change her mind? Just think about what she is doing now.. hitting on other men AND telling you all the details. Is that really someone you want to date?
Sorry, not trying to be harsh. I can feel your pain. But if you let her keep doing this it is going to drive you crazy.
she is texting me saying I am tipsy thanks to guys giving me shots after shots, and the only reason why I didn't invite you is because I wouldn't never dance or kiss a guy in front of you, cause I know it will kill you inside
So does she think it will 'kill you' less if she just tells you about it??
Posted: 1/5/2012 11:06:23 PM
|And while I applaud your willingness to move on, by creating a profile on here one day after she broke up with you, you really do not need to be taking this baggage into another relationship any time in the near future.|
You really can't think about dating again until you have *actually* broken off with this woman (and while you are worrying about her at night time , you are still connected to her).
Posted: 1/5/2012 11:13:14 PM
|I know what you mean but I cant forget about her or even lose contacts. I t will hurt as much as losing contacts with her than not losing at all. Around this time we used to talk and say how much we love each other and how we miss each other alot. We met on this site like 3 and a half years ago.I am using this site for the forums only.|
OHHH I'm crying at the same time
Posted: 1/5/2012 11:32:29 PM
|I am trying to remember a quote that I heard in church..... it went something like.... what hurts more.... the temporary pain of leaving a situation or the nagging pain of staying int that situation.... |
bottomline.... she isn't very nice if she is doing this to you...... and you need to just move on.... someone who loved you wouldn't keep hurting you.....
Posted: 1/5/2012 11:42:09 PM
|Geez, you would think she'd take a little time out to mourn the loss...|
Here's the real deal....
She's trying to mask the pain by getting attention from other guys. She's calling and giving you all the gory details because she is holding you responsible for the break-up. She's very angry. What did you do to push her into ending it? If you did nothing she is a complete lunatic. Something tells me you were being unrealistic about SOMETHING.
Posted: 1/6/2012 12:07:40 AM
|This girl sounds very confused and unable to cope with a relationship. I will tell you something. I had a great guy once.. treated me great and was perfect for me.. real love. I broke up with him and sabatoged him wanting me again because I was afraid of actually being with someone who loved me for me. She is crying out for help my telling you her activities. Tell her to leave you alone so you can have time away from the situation. If its meant to be... it will be.|
|Can I get her number ?|
Posted: 1/6/2012 12:15:28 AM
|Gods not the only one that knows what she's doing.. |
Remember all those things she liked to do to you, that's what she's doing, but now she's doing it to other guys..
Posted: 1/6/2012 1:06:41 AM
|I could make some suggestions, but it would probably get me banned and hated by the community. laugh:|
It involves going the A-hole route and telling her you don't care, in a rather blunt way.
Yep, what she's doing is just plain cruel...informing you of her escapades.
Posted: 1/6/2012 1:23:00 AM
|Tell her to stop texing as your new blond girlfriend dose not like it as it is mucking up her rhythm.|
See if she likes it on the other foot.
Posted: 1/6/2012 1:45:24 AM
|Dude, you are crying over a mean-spirited, cruel, skanky ho'|
Unplug all your devices and go do something fun.
She is so totally not worth your time. In fact, she did you a great favour. Believe me, you could have wound up marrying this woman and then where would you be?
Get a friend to beat you with a stick every time you mention her name. Before long, you'll wake up and wonder what the hell you were thinking?
Posted: 1/6/2012 1:46:38 AM
|Hi Magnus... Sorry you're feeling so sad. Breaking up is hard, especially when it wasn't your idea. Unfortunately, not every relationship is meant to last forever, so we all need to figure out how to deal with those endings, because there is no magic wand that will be waving to undo what's happened. Breaking up means there is no "us" any more, there are two seperate people, each with a responsibility to do what is best for their own well being. Who knows why she is texting you about her activities? In an adult relationship, I can't think of any possible motivation I personally would consider that necessary or reasonable. It's critical to your wellbeing at this time for you to step back and recognize the discrepencies between her words and her actions. She's telling you that she's not inviting you to go "clubbing" with her because she knows her exploits with other men would "kill you inside", as if your feelings matter to her. But then, why would she make it a point to text you all the details? Apparently "killing you inside" is precisely what she's trying to accomplish. It's confusing and painful beyond words, when someone we thought cared deeply for us suddenly switches into a person who deliberately tries to inflict pain. Sometimes the only way to stop it is to close the door on the relationship, and not allow that person any further access to our minds and hearts. Easier said than done, but if you believe you deserve to be treated with care and concern, rather than callous disregard, you will take the necessary steps to stop it. |
What should you do? My suggestion would be to reply to her next text about grinding on random strangers with a brief note to tell her you are shocked and appalled by the changes in her behavior, and as such, she is no longer someone can respect and admire. Tell her you still care about her as a fellow human being, so you hope for her sake she remembers to carry condoms so she doesn't end up with any life altering diseases from any impulsive actions that may occur during these drunken stupors, then thank her for the fond memories, wish her the best, and tell her you sincerely hope she finds whatever it is she's looking for. Block her number from being able to contact you, or change your number. Delete her from your facebook (or better yet, delete your facebook and don't share your personal business with every schmoe who has an internet connection)
After that, pop in a good comedy and have a few laughs, read a book that captures your attention, take your dog for a long walk, go to the gym and have a phenominal workout, plant a garden, phone a friend, learn spanish, learn french, learn german, learn sign language, learn morse code, watch paint dry.... do anything that occupies your mind and keeps you from making yourself sick thinking about what she might be doing. Things will feel strange for awhile, you'll still feel sad for awhile, and that's perfectly normal. It's all part of the process, and it will pass. Think of it as sort of an emotional virus.... she passed you something nasty, and now there's nothing left to do but keep taking your medicine until the urge to vomit goes away. And above all, don't allow her the opportunity to reinfect you.
You're right, it's gonna hurt either way, but the pain is already here, no way to change that now. But at least the pain of losing contact is also the beginning of the healing process. Wallowing around in what used to be just prolongs the agony of longing for something that is gone for good, and prevents you from being able to move forward into your future, which undoubtedly holds something better for you than this mangled mess. Disappointing as it may be at the moment, she wasn't the one for you. Let her go, and go find out who is!
Posted: 1/6/2012 1:55:47 AM
It's easy said than done, I love her still :(
Yes and your brain and body wants her.
Your feel good hormones have been cut off.
It sucks, but you WILL get over it.
Exercise and improve yourself mentally, join a sports league.
Its like coming off crack.
Its not so much her as a person, but how she made YOU FEEL, because she sounds like a real bytch to me.
She enjoys you still wanting her.
Cut off all contact and get busy with friends and do things..Just do not put yourself out there as anything more than a good time for now with women..
Maybe before you do ..Next text or whatever she sends. Tell her how happy you are for her that she has learned to move on as she should, but you really don't have TIME to hear about it now. Then block.
Do not put your "heartbreak" in the streets for her to hear about it.
You dated less than a year according to your own words so..You really did not know her as well as you thought.
If she is that cruel ..do you REALLY want something lasting with her?
Other than sex that is.
Posted: 1/6/2012 2:06:12 AM
So I am here at home worried and all sad.
^^^^ She is telling you this because that is exactly how she wants you to feel.
So why are you still reserving any feelings for this kind of person?
Posted: 1/6/2012 2:30:45 AM
|Hi Magnus_31! It sounds to me that you are still fresh out of a relationship. If you decide to begin your life without her, it will take a little time to heal. I get that it is painful for you however; it does not sound to healthy for you to still keep communicating with her during this time. May I suggest as the other's have advised above, to cut ties with her. Go it alone, go through the feelings of loss and surround yourself with a great supportive friend and family network.... I hope this helps... M.|
Posted: 1/6/2012 2:41:31 AM
|My advice? Quit being a masochist and block her from texting, calling, emailing, etc. It will be more empowering than you can imagine! It will also keep her from twisting the knife in that open wound.|
Second, don't try to skip the healing process. Obviously you are hurt and were in love, so it's going to take a good while for you to get your head and heart back in shape. Don't date ANYONE for at least six months to a year. Sounds like a terribly long time, right? It's not, though. That saying about the cure for one woman is to get on another one is complete bull, you will only bring every bit of hurt, resentment and anger, not to mention mistrust, into any relationship you enter before you heal. Too many people leave their husbands or wives or whatever and then want to get into an 'instant relationship' like they are exchanging a pair of socks! It never works!!!
You're in pain. It's completely normal, and you need some support. I'd like to see you get into counseling so you can work through these feelings. You'll come out a much better person, stronger and able to see when a woman sincerely loves you and when one is just using you. You won't miss the signals of a real relationship blossoming when it happens, you'll be able to trust yourself and know if you can trust her too. Most people don't give themselves the time or put in the effort to get to that point, but you should do this for YOU.
Finally, go do something just for you. Whether you take off for a long weekend alone to some place you've always wanted to go, or you buy yourself some electronic toy you've been wanting, or you start going to the gym and hire a trainer...whatever it is, make it about YOU and only YOU. Be selfish right now. You need a little self pampering, some feelgood time that helps you keep yourself from sinking into a depression. Look at this not as losing a love, but as getting rid of the wrong woman and now getting the opportunity to do some things to treat yourself as you deserve and then eventually finding a woman who will love you for real and treat you like the wonderful man you are. And hey, you have to be a pretty great guy if you can love someone this deeply who doesn't even deserve it! Just think how fantastic it is going to be to love someone that loves you back as hard as you love her!!!!
You're going to be fine, honest. Just please listen to what I wrote and you are going to come through all of this much better than you could imagine.
Posted: 1/6/2012 2:48:57 AM
|It sounds to me, as though she might in her own rough way be trying to help you to STOP HOWLING AT THE MOON. By shoving her escapades in your face, she HOPES that you'll get it through your love-lorn fogged brain that the two of you are DONE. |
It doesn't matter how much emotional attachment you think you still have for her. At least half of that is just brain chemicals , habit, and convenience anyway. I know, because like so many other guys, I went through the same thing a long while back, "hoping to get her back," and therefore staring as she hopped from bed to bed, like it was a horrible traffic accident that I couldn't look away from.
If you have to, get a new phone and phone service to get away from it. Put a sign up over your bed that you'll see first thing every morning, reminding you that you are single again, and to get on with life. Set up a new email account so that you wont have to even THINK about rereading old messages, or worse read new ones from her.
Posted: 1/6/2012 2:53:43 AM
|You don't want her back. You are disposable to her and if you actually do succeed at winning her back, she will only dump you again.|
What to do: Get laid.
Posted: 1/6/2012 3:13:17 AM
To you OP she is like a drug but once you cut her off, you will get over her, like Peppermint said stay busy and block her out. Stomp her out like quitting a bad habit.