|Reading signsPage 1 of 1 |
|Ok so i have been here a while now and yes i have even been on dates , my problem is i can never read the signs a woman gives off , ie is she interested or just being polite , i get described as a nice guy and yes i am , i am not the kind that is looking for that one night stand and move on to the next , i want to find that special feeling|
Posted: 1/8/2012 11:03:54 PM
|You can never read the signs? Join the club, mate! A lot of women seem to have this very annoying habit of giving hints. An american comedian - whose name escapes me - once said that his girlfriend asked for something little and shiny for her birthday, so he bought her a toaster! He went on to say that if women want to get what they want from their men they should never hint, just tell! I once had a huge fall out with a woman friend of mine over this. We've since made up, though.|
Posted: 1/8/2012 11:51:06 PM
|So op you think we are so polite we would sit with someone we didnt like . |
Im straight to the point but i do no there are women out there who go on diffrent dates for dinner .
Free meal is what there after . so early dates i think should be coffees .
so as to weed out the spongers .
If im sitting having dinner with a man i like him
Posted: 1/9/2012 12:48:43 AM
|As Bambi just said if Im out with someone on a date if I like them I make a point of letting them know but then generally I will only meet if I really like someone if that makes sense.|
I guess the only other way of reading the signs correctly is if the evening goes really well and the woman subtley hints if you will be meeting up again.
Hope this helps
Posted: 1/9/2012 12:52:40 AM
|A lot of women?|
How do you measure a lot exactly?
Posted: 1/9/2012 1:03:02 AM
|How do you measure a lot exactly?|
Bit of the tarring us all with the same brush me thinks Pauline!!
Al my darling we are NOT all the same you know
Posted: 1/9/2012 1:26:35 AM
|I must say one thing i dont put women down as spongers i have been on a few dates and the woman has always paid her way , and being honest they wouldnt have too call it old fashioned but believe in old fashioned values, back to the signs though i have been on dates that have lasted most of the night and everything is going great , but seems once the goodnight is done and they disappear in a taxi home seems thats the last i see of them|
Posted: 1/9/2012 1:36:07 AM
but seems once the goodnight is done and they disappear in a taxi home seems thats the last i see of them
I'd say that was a fairly readable sign.
Some women will play games, following american ideas of how many days to wait etc before calling him, that's not being illusive or hard to read that's just bloody stupid but luckily they're in the minority.
If a woman likes you she will usually make it known loud and clear IMO.
Posted: 1/9/2012 1:39:41 AM
|Whilst I can sometimes read the signs a woman gives off, quite often I don't actually want to. |
If someone wants me to know something then they should tell me. If they're not telling me, then obviously they don't really want me to know whatever it is.
It's all well and good someone saying, "if I do this, then it means that" but let's face it... It won't always mean that and/or it gives someone room to say "well I never actually said it, so you shouldn't have assumed blah blah blah"
So some of the times someone is clearly hinting at something, I will choose to ignore it or just ask them outright, what it is that they want.
Posted: 1/9/2012 2:37:56 AM
|... so OP do you actually ask to see them again after the date - surely that would be the easiest way to know if things had gone okay?|
Posted: 1/9/2012 2:48:35 AM
|I dont see what the women are doing is wrong , they go on dates with you and pay their way , after the date they get in a taxi and thats it , but yet you do not ask them if there will be a 2nd date and they drop no hint on having a 2nd date , so to me they went on a date with you , spent some time getting to know more about you , paid their way , went home and decided you are not for them , you do not say if you contact them even if its to make sure they got home safely or if you contact them the next day , so maybe they think you are not interested , it would be easier to ask them straight out instead of playing a guessing game ..Maybe its just me , but when i have been on dates the guy has always rung me to see if i got home safely especially at night ..That could be a chance for you to ask about a 2nd date ...|
Posted: 1/9/2012 3:07:47 AM
|Although this case is pretty clear cut it should be noted that there are women and men out there who are not always willing to be honest when they dont like a date, probably due to past experiances with jerks, they avoid the whole upsetting somebody or hurting their feelings, of course this is an inevitability and can not be avoided, only avoided to see for themselves when they are honest. |
In the case of letting a guy know they want to see them again, usually there is no trouble, a girl will let you know, unless she is really shy in which case, if she answers her phone and agrees to meet again then your still in the game.
Posted: 1/9/2012 7:11:41 AM
|ah those hidden messages, how many times I have tried to decipher them, analyse them and dissect them coming to the conclusion that I couldn't be interested in such a time consuming activity.|
I have ladies smile at me where I work, where I happen to be but to me it's amicable courtesy and I never spare a second thought about the remote idea that a woman could contemplate the notion of having an interest in me.
Therefore I live on gracefully and ever happily.
Posted: 1/9/2012 7:17:05 AM
|I cant see anything she has done either to complain about,|
Thing is it's not always easy to tell somebody you dont want to see them again, some people are uncomfortable with having to do that, added to which you never know how he will react either,you have to be careful judging by some of the replies received even at the messaging stage here, some guys go on the turn and get real nasty when you politely say no thank you.
Personally, I would have text to say thanks for a lovely evening, after paying my share of course so as not to be obligated, and simply say stay as friends as I wasn't really feeling things 100 per cent and hope he finds a lovely woman that he likes very soon.
A lot are cowards unfortunately, BTW keep first dates to something casual so as not to get ripped off by the serial daters/eaters
Posted: 1/9/2012 7:48:04 AM
|maybe you are not as nice as you think you are... or you are dating the wrong type of woman...|
Posted: 1/9/2012 8:54:54 AM
|I would much more appreciate the thanks for a lovely evening but no thanks rather than nothing at all|
Posted: 1/9/2012 8:58:37 AM
|Isn't there a Highway Code or Road Atlas for this sort of thing, or better still a SatNav that can help us negotiate the Spaghetti Junction that is Dating?|
Posted: 1/9/2012 8:59:20 AM
|Why wait for a sign, how about asking?|
Something like 'what do you think about hooking up again in the near future, if you'd like to that is?'
keep it all casual so she doesnt feel between a rock and a hard place and hopefully you will get a straight response, sod all that going home and trying to second guess, not kids are we
Posted: 1/9/2012 9:06:37 AM
I would much more appreciate the thanks for a lovely evening but no thanks rather than nothing at all
As others have said, have you followed anything up after these dates or just waited for them to contact you again????
Posted: 1/10/2012 2:06:39 PM
|If you cannot decide assume the signs are are positve. It is better to ask forgiveness than permission. The only exception is 'No' means no (unless you have previously arranged a safe word :o ).|
Posted: 1/11/2012 2:21:49 AM
|Hi there, I've been on a few dates so far, each time I've paid (or at least offered to pay) my own way, if they decline, then that's their prerogative, but I have to be honest and usually by the next day I've messaged to say wow I had a great evening would you like to do that again sometime? or I'm sorry, but I wasn't really feeling the connection or chemistry I was hoping to, it sounds harsh but there is no point stringing someone along, it can be said in a much nicer way, but I think it's always good to be as honest as you can, I have a friend who goes so far as to tell the person why it didn't work (which in my idea is unnecessary, would bash their confidence a bit and is a bit unkind, especially if they are slightly egotistical themselves) It is hard finding a balance, but I would say apart from the above, if you don't hear from them, not even thanking you for your company etc. then I would take that as a they weren't interested and just feel uncomfortable letting you know.|