TellyB
| | Joined: 10/29/2011
Msg: 1 | |
| | Looking for someone :)Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | | I'm a single mom that hasn't lost hope yet. but due to the circumstances and my baby's father legitimatley being the problem. me and my son are all we have for each other as far as familly. So I'm just wondering what are the odds and what r your experiences on here dating with kids? From my experience, people just aren;t interested or take things way too fast. | |
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siks6
| | Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 2 | |
| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/9/2012 5:20:25 PM | lets see..your 24, have no vehicle, a high school education, probably making minimum wage, and most people our age are in college going to school, getting a career, going out while thier still young  ..see the problem? | |
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TellyB
| | Joined: 10/29/2011
Msg: 3 | |
| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/9/2012 5:25:29 PM | | I make more than minimum wage and I'm going to college this year. but I see your point. I wouldn't be interested in someone my age anyway. | |
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TellyB
| | Joined: 10/29/2011
Msg: 4 | |
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siks6
| | Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 5 | |
| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/9/2012 5:28:12 PM | | exactly, maybe wait until your financially stable, right know focus on your child. And dont ever, blame your child cause you cant find someone, thats a sad pathetic excuse. theres lots of people, the problem might be you in general...and that low self esteem isnt gonna get you anywhere either. Have hope | |
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| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/9/2012 5:29:12 PM | | not having a car is the deal breaker for me. what kind of adult doesn't have a car? | |
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TellyB
| | Joined: 10/29/2011
Msg: 7 | |
| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/9/2012 5:31:25 PM | This kind of adult. lol.
I don't blame him but he's a hinderance to getting out and meeting people. I meet alot of women, single moms and just people in general but I've been flat out told that people didnt want to date me because I have a kid and it hurts. | |
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| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/9/2012 5:33:42 PM | You'll be fine.
Some people are going to write you off immediately because you have kids. It's just their personal preference and there is nothing that you can do, short of putting your kid up for adoption, to change that.
IMO the odds of you finding somebody who will love you and your son are prettty darn good.
That's not to say that you will find him soon or find him here but i'm willing to bet that you WILL find him.
Just don't settle because you are lonely. That's bad for you and bad for your son.
I agree with Siks that you have to learn to love yourself before you can expect someone else to love you. | |
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siks6
| | Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 9 | |
| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/9/2012 5:36:52 PM | | Like I said, in your situation, I wouldn't even worry about dating, all your time should be for your child, all of it! and get a career going. And as I also said, people our age are young, not ready to take responsibility for a kid, they are only young once! they want to make the best of it. | |
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TellyB
| | Joined: 10/29/2011
Msg: 10 | |
| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/9/2012 5:39:07 PM | | thanks:) thats the kind of response. I was looking for. I have so many questions though. Like if the right one comes along will I know, or just pass him off as another dime a dozen guy and screw myself over. I passed up a few people either because they were too involved or they weren't onvolved enough. Maybe it's just me and I'm too damn picky. but thanks, that gives me hope. Maybe I'll meet him in college;) | |
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TellyB
| | Joined: 10/29/2011
Msg: 11 | |
| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/9/2012 5:40:08 PM | | True, but I dont think kids really keep you from living a life, they make life better. | |
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siks6
| | Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 12 | |
| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/9/2012 5:43:01 PM | thanks:) thats the kind of response. I was looking for. I have so many questions though. Like if the right one comes along will I know, or just pass him off as another dime a dozen guy and screw myself over. I passed up a few people either because they were too involved or they weren't onvolved enough. Maybe it's just me and I'm too damn picky. but thanks, that gives me hope. Maybe I'll meet him in college;)
No idea, I have not a clue about relationships, or dating. I haven't dated since I had my boy, and I attend to keep it that way..I'm the last person you would want to seek advice about this stuff | |
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| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/9/2012 5:44:47 PM | You may not know the very second that you meet the guy... But you'll figure it out.
There is no science to this thing. | |
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| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/10/2012 11:10:28 AM | | You could use a make over too..You have pretty eyes, Why is the babys father the problem? | |
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| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/10/2012 11:24:47 AM | You do not need a makeover and there is nothing wrong with dating at this point in your life. If you feel like you are ready, no one can tell you to focus on other things. You're an adult and can think for yourself. I'm I single mother with *gasp* no method of transportation! Will I be immobile forever? Absolutely not. Will it keep me from dating? Wrong again.
I see more men with no transportation than I do women. I've had plenty of guys willing to pick me up for a date. The way it should be. If they want a relationship, they will have to accept the fact that I do not drive.
My circumstance may be different (I lost my ability for reasons that are out of my hands), but it still has the same end result. | |
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| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/10/2012 12:02:13 PM | | Damn well said! If someone isn't willing to accept you for who you are and what you have in your life then they are not for you. Who cares if they or you don't have a car thats what busses and cabs are for. Everyones circumstances are different and thats what makes us all unique. Focus on you and your child/ren. Find out what makes you happy. Date who ever you want or don't, it's up to you. Both woman and men can be cruel but it doesn't mean they all are. | |
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| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/10/2012 1:42:49 PM | | I am looking after three children aged 13, 9 and 7 and they will always come first, at 49 I,m not getting any younger, I think it will put a lot of women in my age group off that I still care for such young children, this lady still has her whole life ahead of her and once she stops worrying about it someone will turn up. | |
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| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/10/2012 1:51:58 PM | I am a single mom, and I have no problem dating with a child.
What do you mean your baby's father is part of the problem?
IMO, you are trying to hard and are putting too much pressure on yourself to find a mate. Let it flowwwww. Continue with school and doing activities with your son. Who knows, maybe it'll bump you in the rear when you are at a park or something. | |
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| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/10/2012 3:39:51 PM | "not having a car is the deal breaker for me. what kind of adult doesn't have a car? "
Maybe one like I that doesn't see a need for a car when you live 10 minutes from work, don't want the hassle of a 400 dollar car payment, 200 insurance payment, and the label of "Dad's Taxi'? | |
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TellyB
| | Joined: 10/29/2011
Msg: 20 | |
| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/10/2012 6:35:39 PM | | THanks for the psositive words. Ppl, i was kind ofdreading reading these j thought they were going to be harsh and negative. But thanks for the help :) | |
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| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/11/2012 7:41:13 AM | | I'm a single mom as well and have no had a problem dating, I'm a bit older than you are...I recenlty met someone and it's been great...takes time and patience. | |
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TellyB
| | Joined: 10/29/2011
Msg: 23 | |
| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/11/2012 8:21:51 AM | | I would date me, I just dont know how other people feel. like if people legitimatley want to get to know me and my son or if they just want to get some. People my age with kids are never single even though they might not be together there is always a baby's father there for support financially or there to help out. I have a restraining order against mine. It's hard and confusing. People either are way to interested and clingy or they just want one thing. Maybe its me. It's definitley me. I just have to get over it. Maybe clingy is a good thing. | |
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TellyB
| | Joined: 10/29/2011
Msg: 24 | |
| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/11/2012 8:22:45 AM | | Nice, I hope I find that. I'm just a little impatient. I want Mr. right now. I need the extra help and social interaction. lol | |
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| Looking for someone :)
Posted: 1/11/2012 1:21:53 PM | Sometimes if you try too hard in wanting Mr/Mrs. Right NOW, you can end up compromising yourself or views because you want it so bad, you overlook things because you are in love with the idea of having that perfect relationship. (dont know if that made sense).
Stop wanting it so bad, and let things flow naturally. | |
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