| | Lack of response...Page 1 of 1 | So I've been browsing my matches, i've done searches, i've sent messages... I don't get replies, nothing... I'm open to criticism, apparently nothing is working here. Does anyone else have issues with no one responding? I welcome feedback, I guess I have to start somewhere.
Thank you for your time!
- Mike  | |
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Posted: 1/15/2012 12:28:11 AM | Hello Mike you asked...
TL;DR: geek named Michael Looking for nice, pretty woman with her own transportation. - further details inside, read on for more.
DELETE ABOVE
My name is Michael, the story behind my screen name of Barenor, well simply put i'm a geek... but hey geeks are sexy!
I'm not going to bore you with the standard details you see in every profile, if I do, your eyes will glaze over and you will fall into an information coma and we don't want that...
As for details about myself I will answer any questions you have, my interests are wide ranging, sometimes changing and definitely open for discussion.
PUT IN SOME OF THOSE INTERESTS.
KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID!
I'm looking for a sweet woman who has her stuff together.
Looks are kind of important but not the end all.
Kids don't bother me, although I have none of my own.
Please at least have a car, or some form of transportation (hey if you prefer to go by helicopter or giant turtle, who am i to judge?!)
Normally I would say job required but I recognize people are going through rough times, just drop me a line I will respond to you; good, bad, or indifferent.
REMOVE ALL OF THIS.
As a woman there is nothing in your profile or interests to inspire a response.
Yes Geeks can be sexy and are getting moreso. Big Bang Theory, Bill Gates et al. have seen to that.
Check and correct your spelling, grammar and capitalisation.
First Date
me personally im a lil old fashioned, let me take you to dinner, or maybe we can go for a walk in the park.
ABOVE IS GOOD. BUT CHECK CAPITALISATION.
Maybe add, I will open your door and pull out your chair as well if you like?
Thank goodness Chivalry is not dead. | |
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Posted: 1/20/2012 12:35:43 PM | Mike, dont feel bad. The lack of response is a big concern of a lot of folks on here.I guess its due to the lack of "social grace" in a lot of people on this site.When I got a "read or Read/deleted" notice,I responded"accordingly", "Due to lack of response, I guess there was no attraction, wish you luck in your search" I gave up on the women on POF, and use this site for the forums.Makes for some good reading and a lot of excuses from the owner and moderators give me a chuckle, why things dont work on this site. | |
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Posted: 1/20/2012 8:32:06 PM | First, get rid of the pic. You look like you're auditioning for a laxitive commercial, doing the "Before" pose.
Do a good photo with a REAL camera, decent lighting, and a SMILE. Make the lady you're looking for want to be in the picture with you, instead of wondering if you're being booked into County Jail.
TALK to her. Your profile should tell her enough to know that she wants to know more. If you tell her that you're a geek, WHY are you a geek, what kind of geek are you, what geekish stuff do you like to do? Remember, there are also GIRL geeks!
Drop the lines after the word "kids." Replace THAT line with "If you have kids, I'm looking forward to getting to know them." That's pretty much the same as "I don't have a problem" but doesn't have the negative psychological index.
Get rid of the 75-mile radius, unless you have to walk to your dates. The one you're looking for may be 76 miles away and prevented from sending you messages.
Remember, you don't want to raise fences, you want to open doors.
Good luck, Starfighter! | |
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Posted: 7/20/2012 3:34:08 AM | Summer, totally agree with you about the lack of social graces of the women on here.There are women on here who "think" they are a "10" who couldnt make it past a "2" .Only thing I can figure, is they have been hurt by their Ex's they will take it out on any man .IMHO
And as far as the "OWNER" and the moderators on this site, they are the pits | |
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Posted: 7/20/2012 3:53:56 AM | | fat guys don't have a chance on here unless they go for fat girls, which I'm guessing they haven't tried. Have you messaged a bunch of fat girls yet? | |
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Posted: 7/20/2012 4:14:42 AM | Man you are 29. The male to female ratio on POF for you is probably 8 to 10 to one at your age. 90 percent of the guys are all messaging the 15 to 20 percent of the attractive females. You are way over weight wanting a pretty gal. You have one pic. You need EIGHT solid pics. With a camera. Inside and out. Closeup and full length. NO SELF PICS ina mirror!
Now go read your profile. You managed to say literally NOTHING about you. Your profile is suppsed yo sell YOU here. To sound fun and interesting and entice someone to write you. Now read your profile and ask yourself WHY any cut, smart gal would ever write you? Correct they wont. As you have found out. Crap you talk TONS about what kinda gal you want etc.. That should be like one sentence. You are supposed to be talking about you, not making a list of demands like pretty, sweet, job, car etc... Now just read your boring mind numbing profile again and all I can get out of it is your a geek that cant be bothered to provide any information or details about you. THATS WHAT YOUR PROFILE IS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR!
Your goal is to inform. Try and use a little humor. Try and sound intelligent and FUN/INTERESTING. Give some of the woman here a reason to write you. You want them to smile and think "wow he sounds fun!".
With the odds horribly stacked against you and being overweight this is probably going to be brutal on here. With a solid profile and 8 new pics you are still going to be PRAYING for a couple replies per 100 messages if you are messaging the cute women.
REALLY you need to focus on meeting women in real life. POF should NOT be your Plan A or even Plan B or Plan C. This is a backup plan ONLY. Get out in real life and meet women. Where your charm and wit can hopefully shine through. I am being VERY honest and I am not trying to be mean. Take DANCE LESSONS! Gals love a guy that can dance and its fun and you can meet people. Join meetup groups. Take community college courses at night. You just need to expose yourself to new women. This is just not where your real hope is sorry.
Best of Luck!
Cowboy | |
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Posted: 7/20/2012 8:39:56 AM | Pics are the first key to success on here.
<-- click my History for my pic guidelines.
Delete your Age and Distance settings.
Read other guys profiles. Read profiles of the experienced reviewers and successful guys on this site. When you see ones where you say "great profile", pat attention to why.
You don't need to be a hunk or rich to be successful on here. You need to be different, creative and stand out from the crowd. Show personality!
The site does work. I'm 139 lb wimp, have acne scars, a burn scar, stained teeth, smoke, drink, am on disability, not rich, live in a rural area, and I can easily get 2 new first dates a week and hardly try. Work on GREAT pics and a GREAT profile, then use all the site functions to maximize your results.
Keep Fishing!  | |
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Posted: 7/20/2012 10:01:47 AM | I don't know where to begin. You're fat. You can't write. You need more photos. I wouldn't respond to anyone who had any of those qualities. Perhaps in real life you are more interesting than you are in your profile (one could only hope) and some overweight geeky girl will like you.
I must say I've seen much better profiles from men who do not look better than you. But usually I see them because they are here complaining that no one writes to them. | |
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Posted: 7/20/2012 11:01:04 AM | you people reviewing are pretty harsh, this poor guy needs advice on his profile not fingers pointing at his weight. Thats not his downside. But we can see what your downsides are. I always see larger men with beautiful woman, even one of my best friends has a beautiful young lady by his side and hes 265lbs. You people need to get off of pof once in a while and go outside. And GROW SOME MANNERS. Honestly, i think this fella has a better chance then any of you who have posted in here so far.
As for the profile you have sir, maybe try to be a little bit more serious with some more facts on you. Try to avoid the normal stuff like camping, walks on the beachs, etc. What makes you unique, music never hurts because it gives the other person something to work with.. movies also. More photos definitely. Come up with a good date idea, try not to make it sound like a wine n dine romantic night, but more of a .. Lets get to know eachother kind of date. The better dates will come =) Avoid messaging the girls that are a 8 to 10 if you can. Alot are here for there ego, and they will not reply unless your Brad Pitt, dont let it drag ya down. Oh and its ok to kind of.. bring out the geek in you, but dont build the profile off of that. Hope it helps and dont let these guys get to ya that seem to think weight is your problem. Go look at there profiles, they do not have perfect profiles and tbh i would almost think they need a profile review themselves.
p.s. Things do not happen overnight, it took me a while to get the hang of POF. After i did though, it became easy to get phone numbers and conversations going. Oh, and reply to any message you do get even if you are not initially interested. Its a online dating site, take chances you normally wouldnt. Good luck man! | |
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Posted: 7/20/2012 11:14:43 AM |
Things do not happen overnight, it took me a while to get the hang of POF. After i did though, it became easy to get phone numbers and conversations going. OP when getting advice here please actually take a moment to READ the persons profile that is advising you. It often clears up a lot of things about the advice they are offering. A lot of people here really have no business giving profile advice actually. Be careful and take all recommendations with a grain of salt. No one is trying to be mean to you in any way. But we are trying to be realistic and you need to be also with your expectations.
This site is brutal for normal average guys your age. Especially wanting attractive gals. Wishing you only the best of luck always. Looking forward to seeing some changes for you.
Cowboy | |
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Posted: 7/20/2012 11:28:40 AM |
you people reviewing are pretty harsh, this poor guy needs advice on his profile not fingers pointing at his weight. Specifically Msg 6 and 9. You might want to go back and reread some of the above posts. Some (#2, 4, 8) did give good constructive advice on improving his profile without bashing his weight. Msg 7 wasn't bashing him, that's just his posting style.
A couple of the posters (6 and 9) did incorrectly/ignorantly state that he "should look for a fat girl". The thin date the heavy, non-smokers date smokers, Christians date Hindus. People who make statements to the contrary are uninformed.
OP:Use ALL the site functions at the top of your screen. They all have their benefits and can lead to dates. The more often you log in to your Inbox, the more exposure you get.
For messages:
Keep it short and simple.
Don't mention how attractive/hot they are.
Don't ask them to look at your profile or message you.
Pose one or two simple questions they can answer.
Here is an example of a simple and successful message:
I sent this to a Steelers fan with no pets:
(The Steelers and Browns are arch rivals.)
(Had a date in less than 24 hours.)
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I root for the Steelers, as long as they aren't playing the Browns.
Is that okay?
Not allergic to dogs are you?
firstname
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Another successful one:
Wait a minute!
You say "I don't believe a house can be a home without pets."
But your profile says "No Pets".
What is up with that?
firstname
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Profile Review Disclaimer
The opinions expressed here are not professional, nor official. This is an Open Forum, users posting here may or may not be qualified to provide opinions. The opinions provided are just that; their personal opinion. You may receive opinions from experienced and successful on-line daters. Likewise, you may receive opinions from unsuccessful users. Use common sense, review each poster's History and Profile then make your own decisions.
"This is a supermarket, take what you want and leave the rest on the shelf."
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A wise woman named Deb once said:
... you need to be brave to post in forums, even braver to ask for advice, and braver still to ask for a Profile Review. You have to be ready for all types of responses.
Keep Fishing! | |
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Posted: 7/20/2012 11:54:00 AM | I probably (i actually did im sorry) target everybody who posted. I really did mean for it to be more targeted at the ones who pointed out things that really did not need to be pointed out or said. You and cowboy are correct, he should take it all with a grain of salt. The people who posted ignorant posts (you have pointed them out) can put a grain of something else in there mouth. They did not offer any constructive advice.
... you need to be brave to post in forums, even braver to ask for advice, and braver still to ask for a Profile Review. You have to be ready for all types of responses.
That is a wise piece of advice ;) And people got offended by my post. Sorry! I reviewed his profile and i reviewed the posts people posted lol.
And also, you are right on the messaging part. He should send messages off that have an opener for a reply, like
I root for the Steelers, as long as they aren't playing the Browns.
Is that okay?
Not allergic to dogs are you?
firstname
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Another successful one:
Wait a minute!
You say "I don't believe a house can be a home without pets."
But your profile says "No Pets".
What is up with that?
firstname
Thats good constructive advice =D | |
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Posted: 7/20/2012 11:56:31 AM | OP:
As far as msg 6 and 9 go, there are people here on-line that will spout forth disdain and bashing comments regarding anyone's weight, be it thin of fat. They are, after all, hiding behind their monitor where it is their safe place. Simply ignore.
Thus far with the exception of the above noted msgs, you have received good advice that I don't feel I can further comment on.
Here's a few hints RE: initial msgs to women.
Don't ask the woman out for a meet/her phone number immediately. It's coming off as a tad desperate and it's creepy.
Ask her one or two questions based on her profile. Do not bombard her.
Don't rattle on and on about yourself.
Keep it light.
Add a touch of humour.
Don't comment on her physical attributes.
Don't ask/beg her to reply/check you out. | |
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Posted: 7/20/2012 2:55:31 PM | | GOOD GOD some of the comments on here are unbelievable. People who state "average body" ???????????? Christ more then likely go to "Omar the Tentmaker " to have their dresses made, calling someone fat . Bet it has been 30 years since they looked in a mirror IMHO | |
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Posted: 7/20/2012 6:48:17 PM | Dude, do you know what a geek REALLY is? The geek is the guy in a carnival side show who bites the heads off live chickens to entertain a crowd. If you don't believe me look it up in Google. Avoid any references to "geek". Even in modern usage, it screams "loser" to most women.
The others are right, your pic is terrible. First, SMILE! GRIN like a fool. The guy in that picture is pissed off about something. Use some Visine to whiten your eyes. A toothy smile and clear, white eyes are subconscious indicators of good health and vitality. Add a couple of action shots, of you having fun, shooting pool, bowling, whatever (not fishing or hunting, it's a turn-off) and remember, SMILE! Add at least one full-body pic to show off your fashion style and physique. Even if you're a big guy.
Interests: To many women "video games" says "loser" whether it is true or not. Lose it, save it for a later conversation. Interests are searchable. Try to use words that are more easily searchable for instance "conversation" instead of "intelligent conversation", "socializing" instead of "hanging out with friends" get it?
Your entire "about me" is shallow and empty. Trash it and start over. A short, STRONG paragraph or two about you and another about what qualities you are seeking in a potential partner. Nothing negative and avoid the physical. You can filter for that later, when you actually get a response.
Proof-read. You have the usual spelling, grammar, syntax and punctuation problems.
You may want to open up on the age range a little and you should also filter for encounters you are NOT open to, unless you WANT pen-pals. Good luck.
One more thing. You may want to take a hard look at the messages you send. There may be something there that is killing your chances, too. | |
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Posted: 7/20/2012 6:53:02 PM | In reply to messages #5 and #15:
I couldn't agree more. I am constantly amazed by the number of women on POF who are 2 and 3 time losers and who think they still qualify for "the fairy tale". Preach brother, preach!
And yes, the owner and moderators are a joke. | |
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Posted: 7/20/2012 11:03:01 PM | Hi Mike. It looks like your Interests are ready for a tune-up.
FIRST, you only have 10 Interests. You need 12.
AND out of the 10 Interests 6 of them are too popular and they are not helping you as much.
These Interests are all okay to start an account with but you are getting "lost in the shuffle."
video games
bowling
pool
comedy
cars
hanging out with friends
These 2 are excellent:
computers
intelligent conversation
These 2 are no good:
The 80s
a good laugh
You need 12 solid Interests. You have 2 that are excellent. 6 of them are okay. You need 4 more good ones at least.
You could keep the 6 "okay" Interests, just note they are not helping you very much. | |
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Posted: 7/21/2012 12:02:18 AM | Are you contacting overweight or BBW women? If you are not into them you need to get fitter yourself. If a picture does not appeal, women wont even bother to read a profile. Yours is not very interesting or well written and you have a lot of competition on here. Most men have problems getting responses from cyberspace dating sites and you are not alone. You are young and you should be hitting the gym where you may meet some likely girls once you trim down. I am amazed at how men overlook their weight and seem puzzled they get nowhere.
The comments that are decrying the mention of the weight factor which is a huge issue are not being realistic and taking political correctness too far. I dont imagine they would date an overweight person themselves. So righteous.
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Posted: 7/21/2012 3:51:32 AM | | You underestimate the power of money. Money makes fat men extremely attractive. I have dated overweight women who were broke. I suppose men are less superficial than women. | |
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Posted: 7/21/2012 4:01:10 AM | | OP posted his review request in January of 2012. It was brought forward, for some odd reason, by msg 5 in response to a poster who has a deleted account. I doubt OP is even reading these reviews. | |
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Posted: 7/21/2012 4:14:49 AM |
OP posted his review request in January of 2012. It was brought forward, for some odd reason, by msg 5 in response to a poster who has a deleted account. I doubt OP is even reading these reviews. Actually the OP started a thread yesterday in AAG about his profile I believe. I dont know if thats how his thread got bumped. I have contacted him privately offering advice on his profile as well as other forum related issues. Hopefully he will pop back in here today. I was talking to him last night at 2am his time. I will drop him a line and tell him to check back in.
Lets hope so.
Cowboy | |
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Posted: 7/21/2012 5:59:35 AM | | Tis easy to see why I'm easily confused. Have at it, people. | |
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