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 goldilocks013
Joined: 10/18/2011
Msg: 1
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No idea what I'm doing wrong...Page 1 of 1    
Hey all,

Okay, so I've got a profile that I THOUGHT was pretty good. I mean, good grief, I had a friend help me with it, and then I made the stupid mistake of paying $40 for the Match.com people to fix it up for me! But I really don't get many responses, and I refuse to believe that it's because I'm a hideous monster. But maybe I am...I'm not sure. All I know is that I am not getting any decent responses and I'm not sure what else I can do. Any thoughts would be appreciated! And please be brutally honest.
 Prospek31
Joined: 1/12/2012
Msg: 2
No idea what I'm doing wrong...
Posted: 1/17/2012 8:00:05 PM
One thing is the pic of the dog. You're after a bloke not a lesbian lover. In my view, men just don't affiliate themselves with cute pictures of pets. No man is gonna say ahhh... what a cute little doggy, wouldn't mind takin that from behind. (get my drift)

You already have 1 of you and your dog which is a nice pic.

"(note that I said ALMOST anything, so if you're going naked bungee jumping, I’ll probably stay home that day lol). Its funny, but could mean you're a bit of a prude. If thats what you want to come across, keep it. If not, I would delete.

Rest of it in my view is okay.

I would add some more photos of you doing stuff. At the moment it looks as if you're a hermit who lives with her dog and thats it. Not very sexy, not very appealing.

Good luck :)

 BlaineV
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 3
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No idea what I'm doing wrong...
Posted: 1/17/2012 8:10:22 PM
In all honesty, you look great, but your pictures are very boring. All of them seem to be taken around the house with your dog. First of all, lose the picture of just the dog, as he/she is not a selling point. As for the rest, try some pics of you outdoors or at least in a different venue or even with other people. A lot of people actually prefer to see action shots.

As for your 'about me,' I'd get rid of the first paragraph altogether and just start from the second. The first paragraph talks a lot about your interests, which is nice, but that's what the interests section is for. You don't want to disclose too much information right away, but also don't want to put too little.

For me personally, your intention would be a real buzz killer. I wouldn't want to waste time dating someone who isn't looking for anything serious. What's the point? Some men might think like this also, and others might even misinterpret this, thinking that you're only looking for a fling.

Now these changes won't guarantee positive responses, because, let's be real here, this is online dating. But at least it will be more likely to attract decent people.

As far as you saying that you don't receive many decent responses, I would suggest to either make it clearer what you're looking for, or actually send out messages yourself.

Oh and before I forget, come up with a catchier headline.
 B.O.E.
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 4
No idea what I'm doing wrong...
Posted: 1/17/2012 8:16:19 PM
I thought your profile was nice. everybody says to put lots of things on here. I dont get it, how can i really base my opinion of somebody the way they describe themselves. i know a couple women that are selfish ****es but their profiles dont say that. lol i have a lot of trouble doing this myself. so i am prolly ot the one to be giving advice. i do think you have a nice profile and dont see why you would not be getting replies unless you are just really unlucky and only message the idiots
 xenolith23
Joined: 12/26/2010
Msg: 5
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No idea what I'm doing wrong...
Posted: 1/17/2012 10:18:28 PM
I agree 100 percent with Prospek above. The problem is the photos. Not you, as you're quite attractive, but the way you've 'staged' yourself in the photos is very unappealing, almost deliberately so--flat indoor lighting, dull background, unsexy clothes, and last but not least, the dog. Although Prospek was harsh, he's right: you look like the stereotypical "lonely cat/dog lady." I"m not a dog hater (have four of them, myself) but big mistake to focus on them in your ad. Keep one pic of you and the dog, throw the rest out and get/take some photos of you OUTDOORS actively doing the stuff you mention enjoying, or indoors enjoying yourself with friends doing something fun or wacky. You sound like an intelligent and cultured and lively person, but your photos are really airless and dead. They have no fun or sexiness to them. I'm not suggesting you do a TA cleavage shot or something that's clearly unnatural for you--I can see you're a sophisticated and cultured person. I'm talking about letting your passion or silliness shine through. It's fine to mention you have a rescue dog, but lose the line about 'she's the love of my life"--that's super bad. Men hate lines like that and I don't blame them--no one wants to compete with a dog for your attention. They want to be the love of your life, right? I mean, imagine a guy who wrote "I love my beer" and included numerous photos of himself downing pints with his buddies. You wouldn't like that ad, right? So in conclusion: photos that showcase your unique fabulosity much more, and lose the dogginess. You sound very bright and are also very attractive, so don't lose heart. Show off more, work it girl! You too are a goddess!
 ChadsFormerStandIn
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 6
No idea what I'm doing wrong...
Posted: 1/17/2012 10:31:37 PM
Id just add a couple pics outside taken outside of the home. For someone who is busy and has that list of great interests, you should have some photos doing them. It may be a case of believability? You might come across to some as a home-body no matter what your profile says.

Truth is, you kinda look like Helen Hunt in that profile pic and that's always a good thing!!

Ryan
 Prospek31
Joined: 1/12/2012
Msg: 7
No idea what I'm doing wrong...
Posted: 1/17/2012 10:35:48 PM
Apologies if that came across harsh btw. I just say it as i see it. No offence meant.
 What_He_Said
Joined: 1/11/2012
Msg: 8
No idea what I'm doing wrong...
Posted: 1/17/2012 10:47:55 PM
The written part is decent. Not bad at all. Not too long, not too short and it says something about you. Although you might add just a few more words about those hobbies you mentioned.

Tend to agree with the people above me about the photo's. Men won't read the content if they don't get past the cover. Unfortunate, but true.

If you still find first contact on the slow side, then you may have to be a little more proactive on your end.

Just remember, this should be an adjunct to real life so don't neglect one at the expense of the other.

Best of luck.
 goldilocks013
Joined: 10/18/2011
Msg: 9
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No idea what I'm doing wrong...
Posted: 1/18/2012 11:16:02 AM
Hey, great suggestions everyone! My problem is that I seldom remember to take photos when I'm out doing things, but it doesn't mean that my friends don't have photos of me that I haven't seen. I'll have to ask around...it's a great suggestion! And okay, I'll take out the picture of my dog and the reference to her being the love of my life, lol.

Thank you so much for taking the time to help! I'll make the changes you've suggested and let you know how it goes. :)
 RT_2
Joined: 11/5/2010
Msg: 10
No idea what I'm doing wrong...
Posted: 1/18/2012 11:59:08 AM
I like the two pics with your dog. Many manly men react to such pictures with "Aww, what a cute dog!". I like a pic that shows a dog on furniture. Next time you and the dog have fun outside, capture a pic to show the dog gets out.

Main pic shows you're pretty but the indoor lighting removes most color, making your hair look more brown than blonde. An outdoor shot will have better color.

If I lived in your city I'd message you. Normally guys who don't want kids might skip gals who do want them, but your intent of nothing serious suggests you might consider going out with someone who isn't the future father of your kid.

Again, it's great to have pics with dogs!
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