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 carais
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 1
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Would you marry a girl 9 years older?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I've been seeing a guy who isv26 and I am 35. I look like in my late 20's though. We get along amazingly & have a great connection. I broke it off a couple months back, but we quickly got back together. He told me he would male me his wife, but he is worried about the age gap. I have continued to date, but I really only want to be with him. I have never been married & don't have kids. I'm very confused & torn by this.
 TerrieLynnC
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 2
Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 7:28:27 PM
If things are going great, what is there to be confused and torn about??????
 brandonisamazing
Joined: 11/17/2011
Msg: 3
Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 7:28:33 PM
How long have you two been together? I'm not buying the age gap as an excuse to not get married... I assume he knew how old you were when you two got together. You should probably continue to date others. I don't think this guy has a clue what he really wants right now.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 4
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Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 7:35:16 PM
When I was 24, I was dating a 32y/o woman (8yrs difference), and... well, we were gonna get married (up until the point she cheated on me, but that's a different story ). If you're happy together (although you don't say how long that's been), I personally have never seen age as much of an 'obstacle'.
 Ingweeemalmsteen
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 5
Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 7:39:05 PM
WEll, It's 2012 and you're still on here so I assume it didn't work out...
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 6
Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 7:50:22 PM
Dude, Brandon.
OP says this:

I'm very confused & torn by this.

Yet, you draw this as a conclusion:

I don't think this guy has a clue what he really wants right now.

I'm going out on a limb, but I have to think it is SHE, who has no clue what she wants right now.

But don't fret, OP. There are lots of women just like you who don't know what they want. Be careful though. This guy will only put up with you dumping him a limited number of times before he decides he's had enough.
If only his age is keeping you from committing to him (I doubt this is the case, there has to be something else), splash some cold water on your face and wake up. Stick with him, or let him go and find someone else who knows what she wants.
 wiseguy_89
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 7
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Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 8:00:37 PM
Well seriously speaking,I would never have a problem.Age shouldn't be a barrier.As long as,I love the person and the other person loves me,I am fine.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 8
Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 8:03:49 PM
Sorry to burst your bubble but I think you look like you are in your 30's. I dated a woman who was 8 yrs older than me when I was 34 .... she looked and acted old to me at the time and I think I had more in common with her 24 yr old daughter than I did with her.

A difference of 8 yrs would not be as significant to me now as it was when I was young as I am not so much caught up in youth - I have seen more than a few attractive women of 62 yr of age - marriage is not my first thought with any relationship at this point for me though.

Not too many guys of 26 yrs of age have a clue these days - don't forget women mature earlier than men do.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 9
Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 8:07:59 PM
There is nothing to be confused about...its not like your 18 and he is 9...Even though its weird when you think about it.

If you're clicking go for it. Have a "heart to heart" with him...tell him what you told us...communication is the key...

Best of luck..
 x_file
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 10
Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 8:11:15 PM


Would you marry a girl 9 years older?


No.

It's not in my best interest. Anyone over 24, as far as I'm concerned, does not interest me.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 11
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Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 8:15:42 PM
I don't think whether or not you look like you're in your late 20's has anything to do with it, unless that matters to him (All of your photos are of more than one person. Which one are you, anyway?).

What matters is whether or not your background, experience, maturity, and attitudes toward life and relationships are compatible. Ask yourself if you can see yourself growing old with him.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 12
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Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 8:17:28 PM
A woman nine years older than me would be 38, so in my case it would be a tough to accept. If you desire children, and I am assuming this guy does as well, you better make a choice soon. Not to say you can't become pregnant at 38, but you are really testing your luck by then.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 13
Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 8:19:19 PM
Op...Listen to your heart..You are at the exact age as my late husband and I were when we met. I think it bothered me more than him on our age difference to start with but I soon got past it and just never thought about it.
We had a great,wonderful,fulfilling marriage and there was absolutely no doubt in my mind we were meant for each other.
He was very mature for his age and made me feel like the most desirable woman...always...lasted 20 years,until his passing....god, I miss him.
Good Luck!!
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 14
Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 8:27:34 PM
He's worry about the age game now, wait until you hit 40, if a guy is concerned about the age gap now its not going get better later on , especially when he hits 30.

I think its time to face facts and move on, if its a issue now it will be a bigger issue tomorrow
True Love is loving someone no matter what their age are If he doesn't understand that you are doomed , you will end up like parallel lines going separate ways.
 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 15
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Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 8:36:16 PM
Depends.
Do you want kids?
Answer to your question, I married someone 12 years older than me. We were together 16 years....
 PrunellaJones
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 16
Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 8:57:11 PM
Op...Listen to your heart..You are at the exact age as my late husband and I were when we met. I think it bothered me more than him on our age difference to start with but I soon got past it and just never thought about it.
We had a great,wonderful,fulfilling marriage and there was absolutely no doubt in my mind we were meant for each other.
He was very mature for his age and made me feel like the most desirable woman...always...lasted 20 years,until his passing....god, I miss him.
Good Luck!!
Wonderful post. I think a large age difference can be problematic in a marraige, especially if the woman is older because men may be less likely to accept the aging of an older spouse than a woman. But, with a husband like whiskeyrivers had, it can obviously not be a problem.


Sorry to burst your bubble but I think you look like you are in your 30's.
It's become a typical thing in the 45+ forum for people to say, 'sorry you look your age.' In this case, the same attitude does not apply. OP, you do have a youthful appearance and look late 20's or around 30. Also, it is easy to tell which one you are because, though there are different people in the 3 photos, there is one person who is in all three photos, you.
 krause1987
Joined: 1/15/2012
Msg: 17
Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 9:24:27 PM
Carais

I have a question you should ask yourself, do you love him? What does your heart tell you? If you genuinely love this guy back, then who cares if theirs a petty thing like a age gap. You should love him for who he is. I hope you can put this age difference aside.

Hopen' everything goes well between the two of you.
 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 18
Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 9:32:17 PM
a woman 9 years younger than a man, is NOT the same thing as a man 9 years younger than a woman.


What! BoonDock you are normally such a smart guy. So whats with the double standard????

To the O.P., As long as your bf has issues with the age difference you will feel insecure in the relationship....not a good place to be. Explain this to him.

I'm a blond amazon. After 6 months, the last guy i dated confessed he had an issue with being the same height as me. That really svcked, i know how you feel. You would think they could figure this out on the first date.
 PrunellaJones
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 19
Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 9:36:35 PM
My first cousin married a woman about 15 years older. He was in his early 20's, she was mid-30's, divorced, with a couple of young kids. She was a very good looking woman. He was a good looking guy, but also he was, always had been and has been, an intelligent, thoughtful man, mature for his age at the time. They were married 20 years and had a couple more kids. They divorced after 20 years of marriage, but I think for the type of reasons most people divorce, nothing to do with age. So, it does work. I just think it is rare, a successful marriage between 2 people of very different ages, especially when it's the man who is younger.

msg 22 VVV: And you just happen to be 8 years her senior. Not old enough for her I suppose? LOL Looks like you are the one 'lusting' after women 10 years younger. too funny. Older men don't appreciate a younger woman any more than a man our age appreciate us. Most of the men my age have been close to my age and appreciated me quite a lot. The one much older man I was involved with was the one who did not appreciate me much at all. Men like that are always looking for someone younger. I know women who married a much older man only to be dumped for a yet younger woman when their age started showing. Men who are only interested in the age of their women don't appreciate the woman, they appreciate the arm candy.
 MonkeyBizness
Joined: 1/12/2012
Msg: 20
Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 10:00:18 PM
Nope , he is going to wake up 10 years from now log onto POF and look for a younger woman. Your to mature for him. You guys are lusting for one another. You should date 9 years your senior. An older man will appreciate you more.
 adora71
Joined: 2/8/2010
Msg: 21
Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 10:19:02 PM
It could work, or it may not. My cousin is marrying a guy with the same age spread as yourself (26 and 34, I think they are). They've been together a few years and seem...compatible. She is a real beauty, so maybe that helps? Another friend married a guy 13 years younger and was with him for 15 or more years, but I just heard they got divorced.

I think the problem with this kind of age difference is that "little niggling" in your brain all the time. It just stays there in the back of your mind, but as you age you can see it in the mirror and on the milestone birthdays. When a problem comes up, you immediately think "it's because I'm older" or "it's because he is immature."

I just had my 40th birthday and I think it would have felt awkward if I was facing this milestone with someone who was only 31. You just have to be really sure of the guy before you make that leap with an age difference in that direction.
 adora71
Joined: 2/8/2010
Msg: 22
Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 10:22:53 PM
It could work, or it may not. My female cousin (34) is marrying a guy with about the same age spread as yourself (he's 26ish). They've been together a few years and seem...compatible. She is a real beauty, so maybe that helps? Another friend married a guy 13 years younger and was with him for 15 or more years, but I just heard they got divorced.

I think the problem with this kind of age difference is that "little niggling" in your brain all the time. It just stays there in the back of your mind, but as you age you can see it in the mirror and on the milestone birthdays. When a problem comes up, you immediately think "it's because I'm older" or "it's because he is immature."

I wouldn't date a man more than 2 or 3 years younger than me for the above reasons.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 23
Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 11:13:51 PM
He told me he would make me his wife, but he is worried about the age gap.

Can you explore that with him a bit more? Find out more of what his concerns are?

Are you at different stages in life? Are your friends too different? Are your/his parents supportive of the relationship? Is he ready to be a dad?

Or does he feel he may not be mature enough for you? Maybe he wants to finish his education before committing to something long-term? Or further a career?

You didn’t say why you broke it off. Are you feeling a need to resolve this one way or another?

I’m just making guesses here at what kind of issues could potentially be involved – feel free to disregard (smiles).

But to be blunt in answering your question, I would not have married a woman nine years older than me or considered one for a relationship, not at any time in my life. It would have seemed too imbalanced to me in ways I wouldn't have found comfortable. But clearly others can make it work. g'luck
 341islife
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 24
Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 11:42:28 PM
i have a feeling that this is not an age issue but you have many apprehensions with your girlfriend. i had been engaged a few times. age was never the REAL reason of ending the relationship. i may be old fashioned but i really do want certain commitments in a real relationship, otherwise, all bets are off.
everybody wants or allows something for their expectations in a relationship. it sounds to me as if you KNOW that your needs aren't going to be compromised to make this relationship work.
 andy1961
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 25
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Would you marry a girl 9 years older?
Posted: 1/19/2012 11:57:35 PM

I've been seeing a guy who isv26 and I am 35. I look like in my late 20's though. We get along amazingly & have a great connection. I broke it off a couple months back, but we quickly got back together. He told me he would male me his wife, but he is worried about the age gap. I have continued to date, but I really only want to be with him. I have never been married & don't have kids. I'm very confused & torn by this.


It always amazes me when women on here announce that they're younger looking than they are. Loads of them do it on their profiles. It reeks of desperation. Sorry, but it does.

The hard fact is you are not in your 20's, you're 35 - and give or take a few months or so, you're 10 years older than him. If he's worried about the age gap now, that will matter to him when he hits 30. And it will really concern him when he hits 40. Although he'll probably be long gone by then.

Do yourself a favour and save yourself the future heartbreak - cut your losses now and move on.
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