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 Rye-Buttahflai
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 1
Help please! Intelligent insight requested!!!! D:Page 1 of 1    
Soooo I would absolutely adore any input I could get on this >.< I think it'd be weird to flat out ask "did that count as a good first date?"....
Basically had my first meeting/date/something with a fellah off this site and he's super cute and talented and all that jazz that I am deeeefffs not; which is obviously why I am so nervous that he was nowhere near as interested as I was. Aaaanyways, all we did was go for coffee (he paid like a gentleman) and wander around the downtown where I live. It seemed to be going okay, we laughed and smiled a lot and not much in the way of nervousness, but other than a hug at the end of the night after he drove me home there was NO physical contact and no reference to a second.... Date thing - whatever it was. Which I was always told was a bad sign...

This is my first time meeting someone not from my group of friends so all you experienced people please help!!
 facess
Joined: 11/17/2011
Msg: 2
Help please! Intelligent insight requested!!!! D:
Posted: 1/23/2012 4:16:56 AM
If he likes you, he'll call for a 2nd. date, if he don't , he won't ! as you mature your female instincts will clue you into when a man likes what he sees and when he does'nt, without you sitting around waiting for him not to call.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 3
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Help please! Intelligent insight requested!!!! D:
Posted: 1/23/2012 8:14:31 AM
that I am deeeefffs not

whoa!
back up
say what?
now.. if you were reading some other girl saying this,wouldn't you want to give her the verbal slap upside the head for talking down on herself cuz that is exactly what you are doing.

Think about it. If you and this fellah hit it off and started dating, you will always be unequal in your mind. He is all that jazz and you deffs not.
Don't do that. Be equal. Find your jazz, so to speak.
Oh and... patience is a virtue.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 4
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Help please! Intelligent insight requested!!!! D:
Posted: 1/23/2012 8:38:04 AM
Sorry, I don't think I can offer much since I often have the same problem reading my dates.

All I can tell you is that I think about "should I kiss her or not", "should I mention a second date or not" and stuff like that. It seems that just about every woman I date finds themselves wondering about the same crap.

The first date I went on went very much like the one you described. She invited me out for dinner the following weekend. For that date, she woke me up with a phone call to ask me where I was...gulp. I was half an hour late, left her standing in the dark yet she didn't give up on me. She came over, I met her in my pjs with bed head and I used my military training to transform myself into a human being in under ten minutes. We had a great dinner with a wonderful kiss at the end. I hope I see her again but it wouldn't surprise me much if I didn't.

I met a woman for coffees yesterday, it was short and friendly but I never really felt at ease. She doesn't seem to want to talk to me now? Just silence.

So I have no idea. If I do everything wrong, things seems to work out. When I play by the rules I get the cold shoulder.

Hopefully, your friend will call you up and ask about date number two. If not, you could always try giving him a call instead.
 Rye-Buttahflai
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 5
Help please! Intelligent insight requested!!!! D:
Posted: 1/23/2012 9:57:01 AM
Haha errr thanks...? It's nice of you to think I can be equal but I guess looking at the facts it doesn't feel that way in the slightest >.< I don't hate myself or think im super ugly or nothin, but I know where I stand in attractiveness :] that aside.... Do ya think he will call?

Thanks other posters too! It's nice to know I'm not the only one confuddled by people... ^_^"
 Broadway_Bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 6
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Help please! Intelligent insight requested!!!! D:
Posted: 1/23/2012 2:56:54 PM
but other than a hug at the end of the night after he drove me home there was NO physical contact and no reference to a second....

In my experience, that really says it all unfortunately. In all probability there wasn't mutual attraction...but don't let that discourage you. Most first meeting here will reap
those same results, by both sexes.

If there was some feeling from his side he would most likely have:
A- Offered more than a hug at the end. Usually a 'test kiss'
or
B- Hugged, but made some plans to see you again.

Even with those two, it's not a gurantee that people won't change their
mind when they get an opportunity to revisit the date in their heads after.

It's just the nature of internet dating. It does open up more possibilities (sheer numbers), but the odds are no better, and often worse than in real life.

Just keep fishing but don't make online dating the only avenue that you use to
meet and date. Dating has evolved with the internet...both positive and negative changes so it's easier if you just relax. No matter how attractive or plain we view ourselves...there is someone out there who will appreciate what we offer...but it does take time.

BB
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 7
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Posted: 1/23/2012 4:18:43 PM

It's nice of you to think I can be equal but I guess looking at the facts it doesn't feel that way in the slightest >.< I don't hate myself or think im super ugly or nothin, but I know where I stand in attractiveness :] that aside.... Do ya think he will call?


Okay,,,a couple of things.

Reread this one hundred freaking times,,,,more if you need too,and yes, I am serious here.

If you THINK you will lose,,,,you've lost before you started. You've lost on this one,cause of your "thinking" and of your lack of self confidence. YOU don't have a clue where you "stand" on your attractiveness!!! I know this,because, of YOUR words alone. I ask,,,WHAT FACTS are YOU talking about????? Magazine facts???? Mirror facts????Supermodel facts????? Again,,,what facts????

Now,,,the next thing I will say to you just like I said to my daughter when she was about 14. FOURTEEN. Number one,,,,what are you doing at 18 worried and fretting about "boys"???? Why are you worried if he calls you back or not????? Should YOU not be worried about YOUR future(that does not require ANOTHER) first,before you start getting all jacked up about inviting someone into YOUR life?????

And honestly,,,,get rid of that "loser" tude of yours. Quit thinking it. Quit acting it. And FFS,,,quit SAYING it. It WILL MAKE you a loser. I promise. If you can't think like a champion,,,,learn to pretend to be one. It works.

If you are worried about being "alone" this is a good way to set yourself up for a lifetime of it. Worry about YOU. Worry about what YOU are going to be doing in TWO years. In fact,worry about what YOU are doing next year. If you are worrying about another, right now, at your age,,,,you have no idea what is important,,,and what isn't. Can I ask,,,why are you here,,,right now,,,today????? Know this,,,,the REAL world is OUTSIDE your door. Not on this puter screen. Looking for a "boy" here on this puter screen is not what you should be doing. You should be getting yourself ready for the real world,,,which ,despite what some believe, is NOT here.

You are a beautiful young lady that has many years,,,good years,,, AHEAD of you. Get YOURself ready for those years,prepare yourself, so that ONE day, YOU can invite someone into YOUR life. The only thing UNattractive about you right now, is your tude,,,and you already worrying about someone else's opinion,,,,,somebody that you went on ONE date with. You're setting yourself up for a world of hurt thinking and acting that way.

Now,,,,get OUTSIDE and play!!!!! And I don't care if it's raining!!!!
 HaloKitty
Joined: 2/1/2011
Msg: 8
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Help please! Intelligent insight requested!!!! D:
Posted: 1/23/2012 5:21:08 PM

Okay,,,a couple of things.

Reread this one hundred freaking times,,,,more if you need too,and yes, I am serious here.

If you THINK you will lose,,,,you've lost before you started. You've lost on this one,cause of your "thinking" and of your lack of self confidence. YOU don't have a clue where you "stand" on your attractiveness!!! I know this,because, of YOUR words alone. I ask,,,WHAT FACTS are YOU talking about????? Magazine facts???? Mirror facts????Supermodel facts????? Again,,,what facts????

Now,,,the next thing I will say to you just like I said to my daughter when she was about 14. FOURTEEN. Number one,,,,what are you doing at 18 worried and fretting about "boys"???? Why are you worried if he calls you back or not????? Should YOU not be worried about YOUR future(that does not require ANOTHER) first,before you start getting all jacked up about inviting someone into YOUR life?????

And honestly,,,,get rid of that "loser" tude of yours. Quit thinking it. Quit acting it. And FFS,,,quit SAYING it. It WILL MAKE you a loser. I promise. If you can't think like a champion,,,,learn to pretend to be one. It works.

If you are worried about being "alone" this is a good way to set yourself up for a lifetime of it. Worry about YOU. Worry about what YOU are going to be doing in TWO years. In fact,worry about what YOU are doing next year. If you are worrying about another, right now, at your age,,,,you have no idea what is important,,,and what isn't. Can I ask,,,why are you here,,,right now,,,today????? Know this,,,,the REAL world is OUTSIDE your door. Not on this puter screen. Looking for a "boy" here on this puter screen is not what you should be doing. You should be getting yourself ready for the real world,,,which ,despite what some believe, is NOT here.

You are a beautiful young lady that has many years,,,good years,,, AHEAD of you. Get YOURself ready for those years,prepare yourself, so that ONE day, YOU can invite someone into YOUR life. The only thing UNattractive about you right now, is your tude,,,and you already worrying about someone else's opinion,,,,,somebody that you went on ONE date with. You're setting yourself up for a world of hurt thinking and acting that way.

Now,,,,get OUTSIDE and play!!!!! And I don't care if it's raining!!!!



QFT
+1
Thumbs up.
And whatever else indicates I totally agree with what Walts said.

Listen to him, he's wise.
 Broadway_Bess
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 9
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Help please! Intelligent insight requested!!!! D:
Posted: 1/24/2012 7:56:10 AM
It's nice of you to think I can be equal but I guess looking at the facts it doesn't feel that way in the slightest >.< I don't hate myself or think im super ugly or nothin, but I know where I stand in attractiveness :] that aside.... Do ya think he will call?


Probably not...but I'm just speculating from the information here.

You're young, so this is the time that you will go through the learning curves of identifying whether someone is genuinely interested in you. Reading the signs is
a dating skill that requires practice and honesty. It might sting a little to admit that someone we're attracted to is not 'feeling' it as well, but in the end, accepting that will save you a pile of angst.

You'll hone that skill the more you date, but it is invaluable in both online and real time dating.

Have fun, don't stress it and don't romanticize situations unrealistically...it will make dating much more fun and you'll be better prepared when the real thing comes along.

BB
 WesternWildRose
Joined: 9/15/2008
Msg: 10
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Help please! Intelligent insight requested!!!! D:
Posted: 1/24/2012 8:59:46 AM
^^^^^ what Walt said!!^^^^^
and Kitty too!
 G00DTIM3Z
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 11
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Posted: 1/28/2012 2:09:54 AM
Your Thinking way too much for a first meet.........
I don't want to sound too insensitive, but just in general from knowing
from having mostly guy friends........ they will blunty show if interested
or not with the first meeting, won't call or want to see you again unless\They
say during the first meet. The point of most of these sites and dating is just meeting first to see if there is any interest, so don't put your hopes up that high just on the first meet.
Good luck with the next one you meet
 viper9669
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 12
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Posted: 1/28/2012 11:05:13 AM
Your pyscho,, get over it. Move on.
 WesternWildRose
Joined: 9/15/2008
Msg: 13
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Posted: 1/28/2012 11:27:01 AM
^^^^Viper^^^^ not helpful....nor funny.

but...yes, just move on and don't overthink it.

We've all been there and it does smart.....toughen up, be aware...head up..go out there!!
 viper9669
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 14
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Help please! Intelligent insight requested!!!! D:
Posted: 1/28/2012 11:32:54 AM
I thought it was hilarious when I first heard that line used in the movie Wanye's World

Quote "The film grossed US$121.6 million in its theatrical run, placing it as the tenth highest-grossing film of 1992 and the highest-grossing film ever based on a Saturday Night Live skit."

So it seems when using facts I am right and you are wrong.

It's funny,,, no, IT"S HILARIOUS.

Relax
 boninibaby
Joined: 12/3/2011
Msg: 15
Help please! Intelligent insight requested!!!! D:
Posted: 1/28/2012 12:57:11 PM
self fulfilling prophecy....if you dont feel worthy, you wont be worthy.

its all in an attitude. probably wont call you again ....you probably made him feel like you arent worthy....cuz that was your belief.

And another thought,we are not him ...how are we supposed to be able to answer your question honestly
 viper9669
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 16
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Help please! Intelligent insight requested!!!! D:
Posted: 1/28/2012 4:22:38 PM
^^^

I guess I am going to have to re-evaluate my position on Santa Claus

I have just witnessed a miracle

Hot Chick with Brains, Style, Intelligence and Wit.
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