| | I'm confused.Page 1 of 1 | The reason why I started a thread on this is that I am look for a female perspective.Before Christmas I got chatting with a woman on a football forum by pm.There was a game coming up that we were both going to and I suggested that we link cards so that we could get 2 seats together.More fun watching the game and all that.I made it clear that it wasn't a date which it wasn't at the time.Anyway I bought the tickets and she was over the moon.What followed over the next 10 days or so was that I received over 200 text messages from her in that time.Me being me replied to every one of them.Cost me a fortune but I wasn't really bothered to be honest.
I have to admit that I started to fall for her in a big way.Again I wasn't looking for anything more than friendship from the onset.I told her that I would phone her on Christmas Day as it was a good day to chat for the 1st time.I received about 20 messages from her that morning before I called her.We had a great chat and I was well impressed.I decided that I should ask her to meet me as the game wasn't for a few weeks and it would be a good idea to meet her before then.She knew that I was falling for her and she gave all the indications that she was falling for me as well.
We met on the 27th December and she drove 20ks to a shopping center near my home to meet me.I could tell by her reaction that she wasn't the slightest bit interested.We had a coffee and left it at that.When I got home I received another message from her saying that I looked the splitting image of her ex and she wasn't interested in going out with me again.Now.What did she mean by that? My take on it is that either she was badly hurt by her previous partner or she was just seeking attention.I'm not a bad looking bloke but that's just my opinion.What do people think was her problem.It's a month later and I'm still hurt by her.
We went to the game last week and she barely spoke to me.I was never anything other than nice to her and I treated her with total respect.
Sorry for rambling but I needed to tell the whole story.Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks. | |
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| I'm confused.
Posted: 1/30/2012 12:57:17 PM | | Seems to me like you were a rebound. She was heartbroken, found a guy who distracted her for a while with an illusion, but then when you two met in person, the reality was that you weren't the guy she really wanted to be with. I may be wrong, but that's how it seems to me. | |
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Posted: 1/30/2012 1:04:35 PM | "You look like my ex/brother/father" means she is not attracted to you but didn't want to sound mean. Sorry, but that's the reality. I use it to, and while a few times it was actually true, more often than not I was letting the guy down easy.
Plenty of  out there!
OR, it could just be that you really do look like her ex. Maybe he abused her and she didn't want to be reminded of bad times. | |
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Posted: 1/30/2012 1:18:10 PM | Some people are ridiculous. I was told I looked 35 by some girl I went on a date with and she herself had more wrinkles than I thought possible on a 22 year old. She also asked me how much money I made at which point the whole thing became laughable.
From how you described her attitude, I'de say she built you up to an unreasonable height and became cold when you didn't meet her ridiculous expectations. She's most likely a self-entitled morron so I would just move on. | |
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Posted: 1/30/2012 1:36:56 PM | | Thanks for your reply.I'm not sure how long ago it was since her last relationship ended so she could well have been on the rebound.Either way I'm glad that I made the effort.Nothing ventured,nothing gained and all that.I still think there's more to her that meets the eye.The way I see it is that it's her loss. | |
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Posted: 1/30/2012 1:41:22 PM | | Thanks for your reply and for putting it so bluntly! Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.I still think that it's impossible for 2 people to look alike.As I guy I would prefer her to just say that I'm not attracted to you and I would rather date the elephant man.lol.At least I would know where I stood that way. | |
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Posted: 1/30/2012 1:46:14 PM | | @ ElDanio.Lol.I think that you hit the nail on the head.She's no super model herself but I was still very attracted to her all the same.I think that driving 20ks to tell someone to p--- off was bad form.She could have done that by text and saved herself the drive! There was a few questions I wanted to ask her but in the singing section at Anfield was neither the time or the place! | |
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Posted: 1/30/2012 2:08:59 PM |
.As I guy I would prefer her to just say that I'm not attracted to you and I would rather date the elephant man.lol.At least I would know where I stood that way.
Would you still have taken her to the game if she said that? Honestly? | |
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Posted: 1/30/2012 2:16:31 PM | @ RedElectric
Without a shadow of doubt.She has her card and I have mine.We were going to the game together either way.Of course I could have been nasty and returned her ticket for a refund as I payed for it.But I wouldn't be that mean. | |
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Posted: 1/30/2012 2:48:03 PM | | swap pics first next time. That is not a guarantee but at least you know what to expect. Sorry that happened to you. She was not attracted to you and obviously does not like her ex. Move on, you are a nice looking man! | |
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Posted: 1/30/2012 2:56:12 PM | I think this goes beyond her simply being not attracted to you. She fell all twitterpated in love with you before she even met you, texted hundreds of times, got all "over the moon" about the football tickets, then when the big day comes to meet you, takes one look and says she wants nothing to do with you because you look like ex? That reeks of mental instability and immaturity to me. I mean, you did exchange photos, right? So she had some idea of what you looked like, unless you and your photo look nothing alike....
You dodged a bullet. | |
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Posted: 1/30/2012 2:57:04 PM |
swap pics first next time. That is not a guarantee but at least you know what to expect. Sorry that happened to you. She was not attracted to you and obviously does not like her ex. Move on, you are a nice looking man!
Ah.Thank you! In fairness I did know what she looked like before we met.She had her photo on the forum and social network site and they were both accurate.
I'm going to take your advice and move on.There's no point in dwelling on it.Cheers! | |
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Posted: 1/30/2012 3:01:05 PM | @ Unclezeus.
So many good points! She did pay me for the ticket even though I didn't want to accept it.I am giving the money to the Hillsborough Justice Campaign as it is something very close to my heart. | |
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| I'm confused.
Posted: 1/30/2012 3:04:41 PM |
I think this goes beyond her simply being not attracted to you. She fell all twitterpated in love with you before she even met you, texted hundreds of times, got all "over the moon" about the football tickets, then when the big day comes to meet you, takes one look and says she wants nothing to do with you because you look like ex? That reeks of mental instability and immaturity to me. I mean, you did exchange photos, right? So she had some idea of what you looked like, unless you and your photo look nothing alike....
You dodged a bullet.
Yes my photo is 100% accurate. I'd say you could be right about the mental instability bit and you are correct.I reckon that I did dodge a bullet.I still don't have any regrets all the same. | |
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Posted: 1/30/2012 3:08:30 PM | | Had she seen a pic of you as well? | |
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Posted: 1/30/2012 3:13:09 PM | You didn't ring her bell.
That's all. | |
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Posted: 1/30/2012 3:17:52 PM | | In all fairness, I'd say anyone able to send 200 texts over a day must be coming unglued... So yeah, I agree about dodging the bullet. And worry not, strapping looking lad like yourself can do much better. | |
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Posted: 1/30/2012 3:21:00 PM |
Had she seen a pic of you as well?
Yes.She even complimented me. | |
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Posted: 1/30/2012 3:22:51 PM |
In all fairness, I'd say anyone able to send 200 texts over a day must be coming unglued... So yeah, I agree about dodging the bullet. And worry not, strapping looking lad like yourself can do much better.
Thank you! Yes.Suppose that I can do much better! At least I have phone credit again.Lol. | |
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Posted: 1/30/2012 6:45:29 PM | First, you burned up half the reply limit (21-2) responding to everyone individually, usually not done.
But still got good advice.
In the future, use 3-4 emails to close the deal on a meet. You learned that 2 minutes in person told you both more than 200 texts did - a hard lesson for your money but you can choose to use it well. All the verbiage and deference in the world does not guarantee chemistry, and that's what in-person tells you. Put down that texting gibberish, and keep meeting people until something clicks. Remember us over your next fresh pint of Guinness and good luck | |
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