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 VeilofPapaya
Joined: 1/19/2012
Msg: 1
House Husbands and Stay At Home DadsPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Any opinions on these men? Typically in relationships one speaks about house wives or two income providers in the household that share house duties. But i hardly see anything about house men.

I speak from personal experiences with such roles in my family. Because of that i know when i enter into a partnership/marriage with a woman I would have no problem being a house husband if needed. But i always wondered how women perceive such a mentality.
 redsox322
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 2
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 10:09:08 AM
Im old fashioned so hell no Id never allow this.
 NJ_Phil
Joined: 10/1/2011
Msg: 3
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 10:17:53 AM
OP, I'm with you. Why can't I be the lazy slob watching General Hospital and Oprah while stuffing my face with doritos and mozzarella sticks all day, then push the vacuum cleaner around @ 4:59 right before throwing some pre cooked meal into the oven and then complain what a bltch of a day I had.
 redsox322
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 4
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 10:20:27 AM
Both should work just my opinion
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 5
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 10:20:51 AM
It's very hard to overcome hundreds of years of well established prejudice against women. That's what drives the notion that a woman can't be the primary wage earner, and the man the housekeeper.
 ladypenelope007
Joined: 1/15/2012
Msg: 6
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 10:23:22 AM
Nothing wrong with that, Society of today is so much different from years ago, when it was frowned upon if a woman went out to work and she was the one that stayed at home to look after the children where the man was the breadwinner. All different now thank goodness. Now more guys staying at home to be house husbands to look after the kids while the wife out working, nothing wrong with that.
 needyone
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 7
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 10:27:23 AM
tooo funny thousands of females love to stay home but let a male say he would love to stay home and take time with the family and children its like he is worthless piece of crap
even our gov in canada gives 12 months off to female and none to male
and yes you can all beat me up and say he can but he has to beg his wife to give him some of the 12 months I knew 4 males that did it and all 4 wives left them and said that there was no way they where going to support a male
 ladypenelope007
Joined: 1/15/2012
Msg: 8
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 10:41:00 AM
I disagree, rubbish, it works what is best for whole family, you are a team. It dont matter whether man or woman stays at home to look after the children
 udonotmatter
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 9
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 11:12:06 AM

Any opinions on these men?

I see them as two distinct types of roles.


house husbands

My opinion on this type of guy is he is pretty much a gigolo or gold digger.
Same as a housewife with no plans for having kids.


stay at home dads

Kids need parents.
IMO it's better a parent stays home than sticking the kid in childcare or using schools like child care.
I don't care which one.

That's my opinion on these men.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 10
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 11:14:59 AM

OP, I'm with you. Why can't I be the lazy slob watching General Hospital and Oprah while stuffing my face with doritos and mozzarella sticks all day, then push the vacuum cleaner around @ 4:59 right before throwing some pre cooked meal into the oven and then complain what a bltch of a day I had.


I am giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming this is a weak attempt at humor.

OP, does it matter what other people think? Ultimately, it is what works for you and your partner.
 lightbrownsuga2luv
Joined: 12/1/2011
Msg: 11
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 11:37:37 AM
I guess it depends on what the both agree to. However, if the women has a good job and met a man that did not have a job, I would question the guy and his reason for marriage in the first place.
If a man and women are already married, years later a man loose his job, then no I don't see anything wrong with it if it can be afforded and he is putting for effort to find employement. I have had that happend to me a couple times in my marriage both of us lost or was inbetween jobs on different occasions, we had kids so my kids had the opportunity to be with their dad and nobody is suffering to this day.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 12
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 11:39:48 AM
^^^^^^I am giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming this is a weak attempt at humor.


on way to many occasions its the truth ..and its not funny at all when it is


^^^^^^^I guess it depends on what the both agree to. However, if the women has a good job and met a man that did not have a job, I would question the guy and his reason for marriage in the first place.


and why is this not a dito when the genders are reversed....???
 TedJMill
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 13
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 12:10:04 PM
My sister-in-law works full time, while my brother has a home-based computer repair business and is more responsible for taking care of the kids (10-year-old twins). It seems to work for them.
 SeaCatcher
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 14
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 12:22:24 PM
I applaud men who take on this responsibility traditionally carried out by women. It recognizes the valuable quality of work in the home and in the care and nurturing of children. So, yes, great! Good on the OP for his position on this.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 15
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 12:34:54 PM

OP, I'm with you. Why can't I be the lazy slob watching General Hospital and Oprah while stuffing my face with doritos and mozzarella sticks all day, then push the vacuum cleaner around @ 4:59 right before throwing some pre cooked meal into the oven and then complain what a bltch of a day I had.


NJ_Phil ... sad your Mom showed you that as an example of mother hood.

I've always taken on the working Mom role.
Not from choice.
It seems the men I was with wanted to play the stay at home Dad role.
Instead they were lazy, watched star trek and played video games while stuffing their faces with pop and chips, then when I got hope asked what's for dinner.
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 16
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 12:41:31 PM
Do whatever works for the kids and the relationship.
If there aren't any kids, I'd want the more traditional roles.
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 17
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 12:56:55 PM
To OP:... It took me 35 yrs. of careful investing and planning to become what I am today.......a stay at home DAD.
 archromat
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 18
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 1:04:49 PM
If I'm dating a rich rock star, yeah I'll stay home and watch the kids. I'd be a wicked father, even better if I spend more time with them, teaching them to ward themselves from society.

Some women are way rich... it's pretty much expected. If a way rich woman were with me, I'd be a more productive pair with her if I wasn't working a 40 000 salary job but rather raising the children. What the hell, all my hobbies I do at home anyway.

Am I going to be emasculated? Not likely, cuz the woman's gonna be way rich anyway. The triumph itself wards me from the social stigma.
 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 19
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 1:29:22 PM
Don't know where these so called "traditions" still exist in this day and age. I'm 54 years of age and never saw any of my girlfriends, female cousins, sister or any other female be a "stay at home mom". Most were college educated and worked along side their spouses.

The last generation I witnessed this in periodically, was my mother's and aunts'. Even then, when their kids were older and in school full-time, and the oldest one was old enough to take care of the younger ones after school, these women went out to work even if just part-time.

I've met stay at home dads and stay at home moms who kept on staying home when there were no more kids to take care of. This is just an excuse for a lazy person with zero ambition, who just doesn't want to work. As long as they find someone to put up with this , and support them, they'll continue doing it.

I've met a few professional couples where one of them 'works' from home and looks after the kids, but that's completely different. That parent is still 'working' and kudos to them whether male or female. It's hard doing both.

I've had 3 kids and never stayed home for more than a month at the most, and that was through necessity. We do have to "heal" after child birth.

The majority of women who carry a child, give birth to it, have to heal afterwards and continue to breast feed, can't be stay at homes parents, beyond the materity leave allowed. In Ontario a couple is allowed to split the maternity leave between both the mother and father which is a wonderful thing, but unfortunately most men are unwilling to risk a set back in their career by taking 6 months off.

So, if you're asking an educated, professional woman such as myself, how I perceive such a mentality, the answer is, if I didn't do it, why would I choose a man who would?
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 20
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 1:44:47 PM
My brother was injured at work two years ago and has undergone a couple of surgeries on his neck. His wife has a great job and they are seriously considering him staying home to be a permanent arrangement. She hates housework, cooking and PTA meetings.
He always worked construction and owns real estate, also flipped homes for a living and discovered he can hire guys to do the heavy stuff and still make money and keep an eye on the properties.
Their house has never been better organized, cleaner etc. He is now President of the PTA.
His wife works locally and has a 2 minute commute, so she gets to sleep in and he gets up and walks the kids to school, shops etc.
It works for them. but if you had asked me ten years ago if my brother would choose this, I would have said, no way.
 NJ_Phil
Joined: 10/1/2011
Msg: 21
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 1:46:05 PM
I've always taken on the working Mom role.
Not from choice.
It seems the men I was with wanted to play the stay at home Dad role.
Instead they were lazy, watched star trek and played video games while stuffing their faces with pop and chips, then when I got hope asked what's for dinner.


sad about your choice in men.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 22
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 1:50:02 PM

OP, I'm with you. Why can't I be the lazy slob watching General Hospital and Oprah while stuffing my face with doritos and mozzarella sticks all day, then push the vacuum cleaner around @ 4:59 right before throwing some pre cooked meal into the oven and then complain what a bltch of a day I had.

And to think you may have a Mother out there somewhere. Poor gal ~ wonder if she knows how much you disdain women? (And for the record? You'd last about a day in my house if that were our arrangement. I've been a stay-at-home spouse and it wore me the hell out. I get more rest working and spending my time in Corporate America with whiny clients than I EVER got while given the "gift" to stay at home.)

~OP~ As has been said ~ if that works for you and a potential spouse, that's all that matters. I know one or two stay-at-home-male spouses and neither of them eat bon-bons or watch soaps. They take parenting/household chores, etc., etc., very seriously. It's not an easy job ~ if you do it right and with a lot of love. To each their own.
 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 23
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 1:52:02 PM
Look at your body. It's much strong than a woman who is designed to reproduce, feed and nuture a child. You are designed to go into the world and bring back the resources.

Logic and desire never trump genetics. Men who do not provide or do not care to provide do not feel good about themselves or are of the user mentality. Many who depend upon women for their sustenance become abusers born out of frustration.
 redsox322
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 24
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 1:54:24 PM
Ughgggh Id run away from a man who stayed at home. No way. Both people should work hands down. Im traditional and Id look at a guy horrified but thats my opinion and im titled to it.
 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 25
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 1:54:47 PM

He always worked construction and owns real estate, also flipped homes for a living and discovered he can hire guys to do the heavy stuff and still make money and keep an eye on the properties."


Carolann.....That's totally different. Your brother built up equity and continues to make money after his accident, while staying at home. That'd not a typical "stay at home parent" scenario. His was a decision due to his injury and yet he still found a way to continue to provide financially. Kudos to him.

I don't think the OP has any thoughts of providing, but rather wants to be provided for.
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