| | What is wrong with knowing what you want and having the confidence to ask for it???Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | Why do so many woman on this site say things like "I don't want sex???"or "If you are looking for sex I am not the one for you..." Now in the next sentence say something like "He must be sexy..." So you are looking for someone you may find sexy but you don't want to have sex with him??? I guess you want him to start lying to you from the start...lol Really what man doesn't want to have sex??? | |
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| What is wrong with knowing what you want and having the confidence to ask for it???
Posted: 2/2/2012 6:44:29 AM | Seriously I cannot believe you're asking this question? you do know most women has to be somewhat emotionally attached to a man before she becomes intimate with the man right?
Most men can drop their draws and have sex with anything that moves , most women cannot, and most women on here receives so many requests for booty calls, if they start charging a dollar for the emails they receive for sex most of them can retire by the end of the month.
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| What is wrong with knowing what you want and having the confidence to ask for it???
Posted: 2/2/2012 6:49:18 AM |
Why do so many woman on this site say things like "I don't want sex???"or "If you are looking for sex I am not the one for you..." Now in the next sentence say something like "He must be sexy..." So you are looking for someone you may find sexy but you don't want to have sex with him??? I guess you want him to start lying to you from the start...lol Really what man doesn't want to have sex???
I think you are misunderstanding. When people say 'I don't want sex' or 'If you are looking for sex then I am not the one for you', at the time of making that statement, YOU are a stranger. They are not looking for just sex. They are stating that if YOU are looking for sex without a relationship, then they are not the one for you.
This is a free dating site and so lots of players come here looking for sex on a platter. It is a frequent request and the majority of contacts are from others looking to get laid and nothing more.
Everyone here is an adult - or supposed to be. We all know that an adult relationship includes sex and we all hope to find a connection which will include intimacy. It's just that not everyone wants to sleep their way through the entire community whilst looking for their partner. | |
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| What is wrong with knowing what you want and having the confidence to ask for it???
Posted: 2/2/2012 6:49:37 AM | Guess they're just not looking for one night stands.
Seriously though, the last date I went on (off POF) the gal stated multiple times on her profile that she'd sleep with no man on the first date...guess she was a liar since at the end of the date, she wanted the night to continue back at her place. 
Most women though, as CDN stated, want something emotional before they allow the physical aspect to come in to play. | |
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TDH49
| | Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 6 | |
| What is wrong with knowing what you want and having the confidence to ask for it???
Posted: 2/2/2012 6:57:07 AM | Most men can drop their draws and have sex with anything that moves , most women cannot. Do try not to speak for MOST men based on things you may find acceptable. Speak for yourself and let the rest of the male population speak for themselves.
you do know most women has to be somewhat emotionally attached to a man before she becomes intimate with the man right How did you come to this conclusion? Once again this is based on YOUR personal experience right?.
My experience on the other hand for the most part has been different. I think most women are just as into sex as most men. But they have it drummed into their heads by society since they were kids that women should not act a certain way. That they would be viewed as sluts if they did. So a lot of woman think it's best that they hide how they really feel about sex. Put up a front because that's what expected of them. So the world is filled with really really sexual women who are in the closet faking being prim and proper because they are worried about perception.
Why do so many woman on this site say things like "I don't want sex???"or "If you are looking for sex I am not the one for you. This is usually written by a woman who think she was used quite a few times just for sex. She is trying to use this to weed out those who are not in it for the long haul. If your not just looking to get laid then things like this in a profile should not bother you too much. | |
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| What is wrong with knowing what you want and having the confidence to ask for it???
Posted: 2/2/2012 7:12:03 AM | sometimes women themselves don't know what they want.
but i think that many want an emotional attachment of some kind before they have sex but they get horny just like men do.
my own experience on here is that i have turned down first date sex twice with POF women. then again there were times when i accepted it.
when a woman puts those sex warnings on her profile i think she feels that she has done her job and then takes each man to account on his own merits. | |
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| What is wrong with knowing what you want and having the confidence to ask for it???
Posted: 2/2/2012 7:13:04 AM | Sure I want sex ... but when I am ready.
And TDH ... I need to have an emotional connection prior to dropping my Victoria Secrets.
(and they're damn nice ones to boot)
OP ... this may be a dating website, but a lot of individuals take it as a sex site.
Mostly men.
And yes, there are some woman too.
But I would say most woman (and I use the term most loosely, because it is hard to know the proper percentage) want a relationship, not just a fling in bed.
And in order to move to a relationship we want to know the man first.
We want to know if there is a connection ... a commonality .... a bases for building a future.
And heading straight for sex is going to throw that process out of whack.
So lets take this slow. | |
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TDH49
| | Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 10 | |
| What is wrong with knowing what you want and having the confidence to ask for it???
Posted: 2/2/2012 7:31:50 AM | And TDH ... I need to have an emotional connection prior to dropping my Victoria Secrets Some women do obviously, but a vasy majority of women also form the emotional connection after having sex. There is no set rule as each woman is different.
I told the story before about a woman I dated years ago. She always had sex on the first date. Said she didn't want to become emotionally attached to a man only to find out there is no sexual chemistry. So since sex was important to her she got that part out of the way right away to see if there would be a second date.
The problem is perception. Women are trained to think that MOST men are only out to get them naked and move on. "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" which girl growing up has not heard some version of this?. So men wanting sex is then viewed by them as a bad thing, something they have to protect themselves from. And they grow up thinking they should not be giving away free milk. So we have a lot of confused women running around. Women who truly love sex but think that having it outside of a relationship must be bad because society thinks it is.
BUT I do not have sex outside a committed relationship A woman waiting on a committed relationship before having sex is totally silly in my opinion. What happens if she falls for some guy who does nothing for her sexually? Then what?, she has wasted her time and his. And may be stuck with him for quite awhile before she can end it. And God forbid it's the other way around where she does nothing sexually for him, if he then turns around and dumps her, this just reinforces her perception that all he was after was sex.
and they're damn nice ones to boot Are we still talking about your Victoria Secrets here or did we magically move on to what your dainties are covering
EDIT.
Also *some* guys dont view the girl as relationship material if she sleeps with him too soon - even though its ok for 'him'. This view is only kept by emotionally dimwitted men. The vast majority of men know that when sex happens has nothing to do with a woman being relationship worthy or not.
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| What is wrong with knowing what you want and having the confidence to ask for it???
Posted: 2/2/2012 7:50:39 AM | Op,a lot of women feel pressured into having sex before they want to.
So,by stating that,they're indicating that though they enjoy sex as much as the next person,they dont want to feel cajoled into having it before they're 'ready'.
Also *some* guys dont view the girl as relationship material if she sleeps with him too soon - even though its ok for 'him'.
^^^ I learnt that in the Forums here  | |
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| What is wrong with knowing what you want and having the confidence to ask for it???
Posted: 2/2/2012 8:17:27 AM |
Women are trained to think that MOST men are only out to get them naked and move on.
Tsk. Tsk. Do you not just slam Cdn_Iceman for making general presumptive comments about the male population in general ? And yet you have gone on to make a statement about most women. Just wanted to point that little double standard out. I think my observation is fair, don't you ?
"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" which girl growing up has not heard some version of this?
Ah - but this is very old-fashioned. The new replacement version is "Why marry the pig when all you want is a bit of sausage."
Just sayin'. | |
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| What is wrong with knowing what you want and having the confidence to ask for it???
Posted: 2/2/2012 8:26:14 AM |
Why do so many woman on this site say things like "I don't want sex???"or "If you are looking for sex I am not the one for you..."
Thats just women's ASD- "Anti-Slut Defense" mechanism kicking in ..They feel that they have to put that out there to avoid being labeled a ho.....i usually just ignore it and humor her..
Bottom line, if the chicks attracted to you, and you can establish minimal rapport with her, sex is gonna happen relatively quickly, b/c women like sex just as much as men....They just have to put up a bit of a shield at first. | |
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| What is wrong with knowing what you want and having the confidence to ask for it???
Posted: 2/2/2012 10:42:39 AM |
A woman waiting on a committed relationship before having sex is totally silly in my opinion. What happens if she falls for some guy who does nothing for her sexually? Then what?, she has wasted her time and his.
Whoa… Falling for someone is a waste of time? Speaking for myself only, if I’ve fallen for a guy and we’re in a committed relationship I’m no way gonna just give up on him sexually. If there’s enough attraction for me to fall, sex should be no problem at all.
There’s only about a billion ways to satisfy a partner in bed. I’m capable of expressing my sexual desires and as long as he is willing, we can work it out.
And on the flip side, great sex isn’t necessarily gonna make a great relationship.
To each her own.
OT: Putting “no sex” or “no one night stands” or whatever on a profile is a waste of time, IMO. The guys they’re trying to avoid won’t even understand. Shouldn’t take more than one or two emails to gauge intent, anyway.
Also *some* guys dont view the girl as relationship material if she sleeps with him too soon - even though its ok for 'him'.
No way! Oh, wait…..
Thats just women's ASD- "Anti-Slut Defense" mechanism kicking in
Wow. | |
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| What is wrong with knowing what you want and having the confidence to ask for it???
Posted: 2/2/2012 2:32:29 PM |
I told the story before about a woman I dated years ago. She always had sex on the first date. Said she didn't want to become emotionally attached to a man only to find out there is no sexual chemistry. So since sex was important to her she got that part out of the way right away to see if there would be a second date.
As much as I want to say she was a smart woman...I can't. That's because sex can be awkward with a person you have little to no familiarity with. So she could have tossed aside alot of men who may have been better sex partners, if they knew her better and visa versa. Knowing someone really can make the difference if the sex is a success or not. JMO of course. | |
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| What is wrong with knowing what you want and having the confidence to ask for it???
Posted: 2/3/2012 5:24:06 PM | To answer the question, there is nothing wrong, but proceed with caution. I believe sex drive is pretty close to equal between men and women, but societal attitude, upbringing, etc. widens the gap.
"Thank God eh?
Or we'd all be like bunnies."
We would have far more than 7 billion people on the planet. Thank goodness for birth control. | |
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| What is wrong with knowing what you want and having the confidence to ask for it???
Posted: 2/3/2012 6:56:41 PM |
What is wrong with knowing what you want and having the confidence to ask for it?
Nothing, as long as you understand they also have an idea of what they want and don't complain when what they want isn't what you want and you don't try to force what you want onto them, or out of them.
Why do so many woman on this site say things like "I don't want sex???"or "If you are looking for sex I am not the one for you..."
Because that's the only way, or the easiest way, they know how to express, or communicate via the internet, the idea of "I don't want to be used for sex, do not try and establish that as my only worth and value," and then spend the entire profile rehashing all of the tactics and strategies used that they know about to spot it.
Now in the next sentence say something like "He must be sexy..." So you are looking for someone you may find sexy but you don't want to have sex with him?
No.
That's the problem with the internet and what makes the forums so fun.
You can be pedantic on a whim.
You can create shortcuts and load words with meaning that are completely subjective and make other people accountable and responsible for knowing what those meanings and associations are even though they have no way to figure out what you've loaded the word with (basically the whole "mind reader" thing).
Which is another test to determine compatibility, as people raised in a similar fashion or with congruent beliefs will have a lot of the same word and idea associations. | |
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| What is wrong with knowing what you want and having the confidence to ask for it???
Posted: 2/4/2012 3:14:18 AM | i every profile i have like the ones you are referring to either say "if you are just looking for sex" which is very different from i don't want sex and a pretty reasonable statement.
however i will agree that there are some pretty man hating profiles on here that leave me with the impression that the girl thinks she is gods gift to man but don't bother unless your rich and hot and blah blah blah but i know one looking for a meaningful relationship is going to message them anyway. regardless of that bikini shot. | |
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| What is wrong with knowing what you want and having the confidence to ask for it???
Posted: 2/4/2012 3:47:04 AM | If all you want is sex,stay away from the women who state that's not ALL they want!
Pretty simple.There are plenty of women here and in society that don't want or need to be in a relationship to have sex.Stick with them and you will get what you want right off the bat,no strings attached.
<div class='quote'>Why do so many woman on this site say things like "I don't want sex???"or "If you are looking for sex I am not the one for you
If sex is ALL you want,then don't contact women who's profile states that as you don't seem to think that you have to date or court or be in a committed relationship before you begin a sexual relationship.If you intend on earning a woman's trust and feelings,before you jump her bones,then those statements don't pertain to you!
"
<div class='quote'>Now in the next sentence say something like "He must be sexy..." So you are looking for someone you may find sexy but you don't want to have sex with him??? I guess you want him to start lying to you from the start...lol
NOT YET!
<div class='quote'>Really what man doesn't want to have sex?
Really,what woman doesn't want to have sex as soon as she feels you won't just up and leave her in the aftermath?
Why can't you see that all that's being asked of men is to have some common decency and not come at us with SEX SEX SEX on the brain in a dating site!
In case some of you men have forgotten or were never taught,or consider dating to be about "hooking up" sexually,this is what dating is about!
DATING
Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two persons with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. While the term has several senses, it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together, as a couple. | |
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