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 mortalwombat
Joined: 11/22/2011
Msg: 1
Bad experience,Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Hi first time poster here,

I had been chatting to a girl via the POF messaging service for about a week we had traded pics , and then we moved onto phone number swapping and speaking on the phone for a few days and txting etc, then we decided to meet sometime, we decided on catching a film. Where we were going to meet was about half way, she was going to catch a bus i was going to catch a train, in the end i caught a cold it was a freezing day lol. Anyhow i set off from my destination, and she did from hers, we were txting every few minutes to explaing to each other where we were, as i got closer and closer to the destination i was becoming pretty nervous, i explained this in a txt message, she replied it will be fine, so i thought yeah we both are in the same boat first date and all. However on entering the train station i was waiting for her but to pull up out side.., and i waited abit more, moved back into the train station as i was freezing me nads off, i saw this beautiful woman approch and pass by, i was thinking that was the woman i was meant to be meeting. Then to my shock horror i recieved a txt message which said 'Sorry your not my type' I was absolutly livid and embarrassed in a packed out train station, i didnt know what to do, i walked about abit trying not to go red faced, i texted her back saying we could of just met as friends, but there was no reply, hurts like hell including the embarrasment caused. This all happend on monday.
Im weary of using this site, i dont think i could go through that again.
 shortbutsweet63
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 2
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 12:07:11 AM
OP as hard as it sounds just put it down to experience. I think I would have felt teh same as you its not so much the embarressment I suspect its the humiliation.

As for the previous posters comments about your dress...............I doubt it was anything to do with that its just someone who hasnt the guts to tell you face to face she dont fancy you.

If this makes you feel better I had a date recently, got on well online etc, looked okay on photo etc but face to face just didnt fancy him. I didnt bottle out though I stayed for one drink out of courtesy and in truth he had a hygiene issue too which killed the meet too.

Just move on love we arent all like that x
 BobHaro
Joined: 3/3/2011
Msg: 3
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History
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 12:09:01 AM
She's obviously expecting something she ain't gonna get and as such is her own worst enemy. You on the other hand have to 'harden up'. Some people are sh1ts, it's as plain and as simple as that.
She will just have to carry on with her plastic pal and her overblown sense of entitlement. The so-called' beautiful looks will eventually go and then her choice will be down to John Merrick, John Merrick...or John Merrick...and probably a small todger to boot.

Would I care that she is 'beautiful', nah that doesn't impress me one jot. I'd much rather have a woman who was a little plain even and who cared...that would make her the most beautiful woman in the world anyway.

Steer clear of beautiful (ugly) women in future.



Bob.
 Off_My_Rocker
Joined: 1/21/2012
Msg: 4
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 12:27:02 AM
The world is full of strange people - some extremely shallow and selfish. Unfortunately you had to encounter one yourself as we all do from time to time. Don't let this deter you - put it down to experience and move on :-)
 matt e
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 5
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History
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 12:38:49 AM
Is it not possible she didnt go within miles of the train station and it was some kind of set up or she lost her bottle and that was the best excuse she had?
Other than that you have to remember internet dating has more than its fair share of weirdos and if you take it personally you let them beat you. But its true you do have to be a bit thick skinned on here. The worst date by far I ever had on here left me feeling a bit like the OP. The girl made no effort so clearly wasnt interested. But she had nothing going for her and is easily the least impressive of all my dates ive ever had. Since then ive had successful ones with far better people.
 bambiisnotsingle
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 6
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 12:47:33 AM
This experiance if you let it is gona put your confidence right down .
It was cruel in my eyes and mean .
But you had a very lucky excape would you honestly want to spend 5 min with someone with the manners from hell .
How rude and uncareing .
How shallow she was .
So she looked at you and jusdged you .Id be delighted she kept walking waist of space she is .
Shes took one look at you and felt to good to be in your company she felt she was out your leaugue .
These supperior beings are best left to there own kind .
Hold your head up high and realise you had a lucky escape
 Melannie1
Joined: 1/25/2012
Msg: 7
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 1:23:50 AM
Hi mortalwombat! That is just terrible... Try not to let this one intance put you off the whole site.... M.
 light-star
Joined: 8/24/2011
Msg: 8
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 1:26:46 AM
The internet (not just here) is full of them - social inadequates who lurk behind keyboards, mess people about, & delight (seemingly) in wasting other peoples time and attempting to defeat their self-confidence.

I usually expect the average 'parcel' of internet users over 30 to split into 1)Married
2)Lying about job/family 3)up their own ar*e 4) Forgotten to take their medication. I hate to say it, but I'm not totally wrong.

There are a few genuine ones (male & female) out there, but boy, it takes some legwork.

You had an escape, be thankful, not diminished - good luck & keep walking friend.......

 marcochampo
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 9
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 2:11:39 AM
i wouldn't call her shallow ,you both portrayed an image of yourself s via txt,pics and phone calls..She made an effort to meet you ,but when she saw you in real life it wasn't the picture she perceived that you where. She may have felt let down or even worse lied to and manipulated into meeting you.. I have heard many times that people have arranged meets and hid around the corner so that they can confirm the perception of the person they are meeting was correct.... Meeting someone for the first time can be daunting for some ,especially if it is outside their comfort zone..However i agree she could have had coffee with you ,or a quick chat .. but i think you still would have been gutted when she told you "sorry your not my type"

Its the joys of online dating, just put it down to experience dust yourself down and move on..
 try1more
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 2:35:00 AM
cant help wondering if she replied to your first message "sorry you're not my type" what kind of message she would have received back?
i think she probably done the right thing, if you got that stressed n angry over a txt, how would you have behaved if she told you to your face, having just drunk the coffee you bought!
 kirkstmoritz2
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 11
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 2:40:26 AM
I'm going to disagree with most and say DON'T put it down to experience, yes there are all sorts of weirdo's and timewasters and fakes on here but putting it down to experience means that kind of behaviour is to be expected, the norm.

What was done to you was disgusting. Ive lost count of the number of dates i've been on and i've known from the first look they were not "my type" but because i'm a decent human being with morals and an appreciation of other peoples feelings i've gone through with a shortened version of the "date" and tried to be as pleasant as possible. If someone did that to be i'd be fecking mortified and i wouldn't be able to just put it down to experience and move on.
 Romi_74
Joined: 1/5/2011
Msg: 12
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 2:42:07 AM
Oh hun,

Don't worry it has happened to most of us, I got stood up once and I was very annoyed...he didn't even have the decency to call to cancel the date.

You must also be very annoyed that you had to travel so far to be stood up in the end...well what can you do, the world is full of selfish and rude people.

There is something that I would like to add to the topic of beautiful/ugly people, I don't believe in labelling people beautiful or ugly. I was in love with a man for 12 years and I thought he was extremely sexy...I found out that one of my friends, when she met him for the first time, thought he was a really weird looking guy and couldn't believe I fell for him...that goes to show how very true the following statement is … "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".
 garyzac
Joined: 9/25/2008
Msg: 13
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History
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 2:51:31 AM

Ive lost count of the number of dates i've been on and i've known from the first look they were not "my type" but because i'm a decent human being with morals and an appreciation of other peoples feelings.....


Thanks for the chuckle!


Steer clear of beautiful (ugly) women in future.


Sound advice.

Such women tend to to be so far up themselves, they don't walk, they move like a hula-hoop.


Then to my shock horror i recieved a txt message which said 'Sorry your not my type'


So she had the manners to tell you and apologise for not meeting up.

I don't see the problem. You weren't what she expected in the looks department despite having seen pictures of you.

Hmm....were you entirely honest in the pictures you sent?
 bambiisnotsingle
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 14
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 2:57:20 AM
romi74

There is something that I would like to add to the topic of beautiful/ugly people, I don't believe in labelling people beautiful or ugly. I was in love with a man for 12 years and I thought he was extremely sexy...I found out that one of my friends, when she met him for the first time, thought he was a really weird looking guy and couldn't believe I fell for him...that goes to show how very true the following statement is … "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".


so so very true i see ugly as ugly actions not a person .
Some folks get good looks through the gene pull . my father always said the beauty that comes from within a person is what matters .
kirk i agree i think her avtions were disgusting and self centred she couldnt give a fellow fish 10 min of her time for a coffee .
She actully might have then seen something she liked .
 OneOnOwn
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 15
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 2:57:42 AM
Anyone cat txt, say, write, post pics to create an image. You built up a romantic picture in your mind how wonderfull she was. Well she wasn't. You have no idea even if she left home !!! I was on a date last night. Arranged it a week and said I would meet in a car park. Yep we both turned up. Thats what adults do. Txting every 5 seconds to say where you are may be the 'modern' way but I bet the txts were just full of pointless crap. I dont book appointments at my dentist/garage etc and call/txt every 5 minutes !!! We assume that when you make a deal we stick to it. Unfortunately the UK is getting very bad on a personal level about promises.Ask a doctor/dentist how much time he wastes waiting for people who dont turn up.
So you travelled. Obviously got yourself ready. Built up this picture of the gorgeous person you thought they were and ZILCH. So what did you do next. Say F""" it and call it a day and call a mate, laugh it off, pop down the pub. Bet you didn't.
I always have an option B . So she doesn't turn up, the date is cut short, etc. Do I go home and sulk. Nope. Option B is at hand so my efforts are not wasted.
So as you have been told. Dust yourself down, you are wiser, whatever you did something wasn't right Learn from experience and say NEXT PLEASE !!!
 stillsparkly
Joined: 5/26/2010
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 2:59:40 AM
I can see why youre hurt and angry OP - I would be too!
What a **** - you had a lucky escape there by the sounds of it!
To be honest with you Im ALWAYS wary of dating because you dont ever know what to expect and literally anything could happen!
But remember it goes for good and bad experiances and next time you might be pleasently surprised - because most people dont behave in the way your date did!
x
 kirkstmoritz2
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 17
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 3:01:48 AM

Thanks for the chuckle!



Steady, I wouldn't want you to fall off your toadstall.
 theoldbill
Joined: 4/21/2008
Msg: 18
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 3:04:35 AM

Im weary of using this site, i dont think i could go through that again.


What happened was pretty bad, and like others have said, even if you were not her type I would like to think that if anyone had gone through all the formalities and encouraged someone to travel then they would actually go through most of the agreed date.

But, that is part of the dating game, and it has happened to most of us, on both sides of the coin.

What I would like to say, though, is that sometimes internet dating can be an expensive business for many. Especially as the internet attracts quite a share of those who cannot be too active in the outside world for various reasons, and have many other committments and demands on their income. And it frequently requires travel beyond the local area.

I am not saying that every date must be a relationship, but those going on them should at least be aware of the fact that their date might very well have invested some precious resources into getting there. At least that occasion should be made worthwhile (purely from a simple date you understand, not suggesting anything else).
 punkadiddle
Joined: 12/8/2011
Msg: 19
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 3:08:05 AM
Even without the benefit of knowing the other party’s side of the story - I am still somewhat suspicious as to why someone would arrange to meet, go to all the effort only to walk passed unless there was a good reason.

If you were truthful with her before meeting then unfortunately that’s an awful thing to happen (although I’m sure you will be laughing about it before long). If you weren’t entirely truthful (and only you will know this for sure) then you’ll know better next time.

Personally if I’d gone to all that effort I would have met and just been polite. However this woman might have had a bad experience herself and felt it right to nip everything in the bud. I’ve had first dates which I have sat politely through and done all the right things, then spent the next 2 weeks diplomatically declining a 2nd date only for them to become quite aggressive.
 glasgowgirl.72
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 20
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 3:16:30 AM
sounds to me as if you had a lucky escape if this is the type of person she is. i have also had bad experiences on here with guys cancelling dates and standing me up but hopefully not all guys are time wasters so you just have to try and not let that one bad experience put you off as there are genuine people on here. good luck!
 Wafta
Joined: 9/9/2008
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 3:36:01 AM

cant help wondering if she replied to your first message "sorry you're not my type" what kind of message she would have received back?
i think she probably done the right thing, if you got that stressed n angry over a txt, how would you have behaved if she told you to your face, having just drunk the coffee you bought!

Just picked the above as an example of a couple of other posts too, nothing personal!

I think the problem here is that you're assuming that the OP would have got along with his date and would therefore have been upset either way. Who's to say, if they'd had coffee, he wouldn't have thought exactly the same about her? After all, she does appear, in my opinion, to be rather rude and lack some basic good manners.

It really wouldn't have hurt to just have a coffee out of courtesy, considering they'd both travelled to get there.

To the OP, I'd say you're probably better off not knowing people without manners anyway. Jjust a shame you didn't spend enough time getting to know each other to see that before you arranged to meet.

Not everybody is so rude and (to the woman concerned), not all "not my types" turn out to be bad guys
 chillicat
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 22
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 3:46:46 AM
ah feck em mate..best thing to do is get a few bevvys down you..book yourself a week end in amsterdam..wet your whistle halve a dozen times while your there..then come back full of beans and start all over again.this time with more confidence and more zest..dont let the feckers grind you down..
 Vortices
Joined: 12/4/2011
Msg: 23
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 3:52:43 AM
This reminds me of an old film...Brief encounter.
well sort of.
 marcochampo
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 24
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 4:23:50 AM
She made a effort to meet based on the information the op gave.. i fail to see that she had wasted his time or that he has had a lucky escape..
She may be thinking exactly the same..
what ever her first real impression of him was ,seems to be not the one he portrayed ,, as she never bothered to speak to him ..then it must be the pics that he sent her..
op i would examine your pics are they recent and a true likeness of yourself..
i know it can be difficult as all my pics are recent but ,i have been told that i don't look nothing like them ,,
bottom line is as been said before ,always have a backup plan...
"The girl on the platform smiled"
 bambiisnotsingle
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 25
Bad experience,
Posted: 2/3/2012 5:26:55 AM
lol Marco your pics just dont do you justice mate your seriously good looking ya big git lol .
but yip i told you there not like you and its every pic as ive took pics of you myself at events and nope they dont look like you .lol WEIRD BUT TRUE .
so op he may have a wee point but she did recognise him to txt him marco so shes ignorant
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