| | Over the top?Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | | Ok so last week I went out with a guy I met off here. The first date went well. Simple just had drinks and talked. We went on four other dates that week. He spent anywhere from $300-400 on me for all the dates. Now I must say I NEVER expect any man to spend that much money on me. I mean he took me to get some piercing and got my nails done AND wanted to pay for me to get my hair done! Anyway so this week comes around and I barely hear from him. It's always sorry hun this week is so busy blah blah blah. He still says he interested in me, but like I said has been very distant pulling a 180. Mind you I see that he's on here many times a day. My question is what guy spends so much money on someone and is so interested in them, then just isn't just like that? | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 2:23:59 PM | | Guys that have alot of spare cash... 3-400 dollars to him could be like what it 10-20 dollars for another guy. If he has lots to spare it may just mean nothing at all. | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 2:25:21 PM | | Wow thats impressive. men these days barely want to pay for their own clothes let alone take a woman out lol. Im not sure maybe he was hoping to get laid. Idk | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 2:29:56 PM | $300 wouldn’t be a crazy amount of money for 5 dates. Getting your nails done is imaginative but a little peculiar.
Did you put out? And if so, at what point? | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 2:30:35 PM | | Did you sleep with him after these "dates" or...what? | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 2:55:11 PM | Radiant pointed out a first possibility.
I would further point out, along those lines, that you plain don't know the fellow well enough to say why he does anything at this point. Your description doesn't say how long you communicated before this last week, nor do you indicate what you might have learned about him that way.
I have seen more than once, that some people spend money on a person, specifically to keep them at arms length emotionally. While you took it that his spending ways indicated excessive affection, or possibly desire for you, it's entirely possible that the exact opposite is true.
Or, it's even possible, that his spending habits have nothing whatsoever to do with his emotions, or his goals in the relationship. You'll just have to investigate further, by way either of patient waiting, or by inquiry, if you are to learn more. If he is already done, of course, you'll never know. | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 2:55:45 PM | | Actually he got my nails done and all that good stuff. And on the put out thing yeah I did and it was on the last date. Honestly the sex wasn't impressive. He was out to get his and that was it. I know now it was probably all that stuff to get laid, but it's like why spend that much and put in all that effort to get laid when there are chicks out there willing to do it for nothing? I wasn't even comfortable with all that money being spent on me and expressed it every time. I just wanted to get opinions from others on the topic | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 2:59:15 PM | | Oh and we communicated back and forth online for about three weeks before numbers were exchanged. At this point I'm done with him. It also wasn't just the spending of the money he would say certain things like talking about things in the future and blah blah blah. Idk I've never been into games and you would think someone 6 years older than you wouldn't be either. | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 3:16:33 PM |
I know now it was probably all that stuff to get laid, but it's like why spend that much and put in all that effort to get laid when there are chicks out there willing to do it for nothing?
You are comparing it to the wrong type.
The question really should be "like why spend that much and put in all that effort to get laid when there are chicks out there willing to do it immediately, just for the money."
The answer to your original query is either insecurity, morals, or time, he knows the "free" ones won't choose to sleep with him, or is insecure and desperate enough to have come to the conclusion that they won't choose to sleep with him and pretend to want to date him without some compensation like he has nothing more to offer, or he simply believes prostitutes are morally "wrong" but likes the ease associated with the idea so attempts to find someone that rationalizes their own behavior as much as he does.
The ones that charge directly for sex aren't all that validating.
Like what makes you feel better? A friend helping you move by their own choice, and you take them out for pizza and beer? Or just hiring a mover?
So he would spend all that much time and effort because it's cheaper than the free ones, and far more validating than the professional ones.
I wasn't even comfortable with all that money being spent on me and expressed it every time
If it was such a problem you "really" would have simply refused.
I mean you were sitting there tied into the manicurist chair saying "no no, stop the filing! Stop the filing! OMG! Not the cuticles! Nooooooooo!"? | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 3:39:13 PM | | This is true I could of down right refused and I did draw the line at getting my hair done. I mean it would have cost nearly $200 bucks to get my hair done. Mind you he brought all these things up. I never once hinted at any of these being done. At one point I was like do you not like the way I look or what? He was very persistent for me to get these things done, saying that he liked women with long nails and the piercings that he paid for me to get done I had previously and he found "sexy" so offered to pay for them to get done. I honestly thought he was joking because we were drinking when he suggested it, but the next day he kept asking about it again. But yes anyway I have moved on from the situation, but like I said it had me pondering what goes through a man's mind that does these things? | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 3:53:48 PM | Lostsoul............ you may have to wait until another payday comes around
or he saw/heard something,. he didn't like and it changed his mind
ya never know,where your at with those whirlwind romances ........until the dust settles .! | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 4:04:22 PM | We have heard from the "he was using you as a quazi hooker" fan base. I'll posit an alternative theory.
To be sure there are guys out there who try to buy some with lavish gifts and expensive dates but there are usually limits. Then there are some guys who have it to burn and value money so little that they do. Dropping ten grand at a casino and another five for back stage passes at a concert means nothing to them. They outspend the more quid pro quo dudes routinely.
He didn't need an ulterior motive to be fiscally reckless. And you said yourself that the sex wasn't to write home about and it was the last time. It might be that he didn't get much out of it either and decided not to go forward on that basis alone. Expense had nothing to do with it. | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 4:04:50 PM | Don't worry about the money he spend to impress you, he did it on his own volition!
Some men believe they can impress women with spending money on them, and many women are actually impressed by this attitude.
In most instances this approach is is to make up for other shortcomings of these same guys, which would explain the poor sex.
However, his spending above what would be considered a reasonable average got him what he wanted (spell sex) though he might not have been impressed either with the quality of thereof. After all it always takes tow to tango (or to create quality sex).
Again, don't sweat it, apply it to experience! | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 4:14:55 PM | | Ok now that you have told us that you slept with him you have your answer. After you slept with him you didn't see him again. Unfortunately some men with go to elaborate lengths for sex. I guess its like a game for some, and now the chase is over, he is onto the next. | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 4:42:01 PM | | I think it's prob his lack of sex skills of why he feels he has to spend lots of money before he gets laid. I mean he gives the new meaning to "one minute man." The whole you fell so good excuse came into hand. I have actually never had a one night stand, we'll except in this instant. They always come back for more. I hope for the sake of the other woman he encounters he gets up to speed on how to last in the bedroom. | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 4:55:35 PM | | Did he ask you to sing "The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain"? He sounds like a seduction ‘artist’ indulging in a narcissistic make-over fantasy. He spent the loot to polish you up so he could see his reflection. After sex, the fantasy disappeared. | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 5:52:55 PM |
I think it's prob his lack of sex skills of why he feels he has to spend lots of money before he gets laid. I mean he gives the new meaning to "one minute man." The whole you fell so good excuse came into hand. I have actually never had a one night stand, we'll except in this instant. They always come back for more. I hope for the sake of the other woman he encounters he gets up to speed on how to last in the bedroom.
Really? You had sex with him, and now you're insulting him because your feelings are hurt? No one even knows the guy so why vent to random strangers. Tell your friends about his "Lack of Prowess". Have you ever seen the movie 40 yr old Virgin? There is this part where his friends advise him to start having sex with a bunch of women he doesn't like so that way when he finds someone he does like he's not terrible at sex...maybe that's this scenario? | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 6:01:01 PM | | Not insulting just stating the facts. I don't believe in lying to a guy about how good he is in bed. I actual blame women for why you find a guy that's bad in bed. Because at some point some woman has told him that he was "amazing" or the "best she's ever had" and then drops him like a bad habit. People should just be honest. | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 6:27:41 PM | | Who cares if he was a " one min man "if he is skilled otherwise it will make up for it.Some guys are nervous the first time they are w a new person.If he didn`t like u he never would have spent the money....jmo | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 6:34:19 PM | | If by like you mean found her attractive enough to sleep with, then I agree. | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 7:12:26 PM | | There were no other "skills" displayed for the making up for. All is well though. I take things in stride and don't let them get to me much. Happy fishing everyone | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 7:27:17 PM | | If the sex was bad why do you want to hear from him again? Oh, you're a student ... no job to speak of ... got it. | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 7:31:37 PM | | Sounds like he either fulfilled some fantasy of shagging a BBW with long nails and piercings, or needs the control in order to perform. Next time, don't willingly submit to some man that wants to make instant changes, they are obviously paying for what they want. | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 8:38:15 PM | | It sounds like he was making his own Barbie-doll. If you'd have held off on putting out, you probably could have gotten breast implants and lip injections out of him, too. | |
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Posted: 2/3/2012 8:46:38 PM | | Yes i'm a student and i have no job to speak of because i dropped my life in another state to take care of my dying grandmother because she couldn't afford the 24 hour care she needed. She recently past and been looking for a job since. I wouldn't ever change what I did. Does it suck starting all over again , hell yes it does, but I would drop everything for the woman who raised me for six years as a child. And excuse me for being a student working toward a master's. | |
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