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| Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 2/5/2012 4:06:10 AM | | I doubt it that I would return to an ex. So much has happened in my life, so many ideological shifts, so much maturing, etc etc, that, unless he had changed radically, going back to an ex-partner/lover/husband would be living with a stranger. I would have to get to know him all over again and there's no way of knowing whether I would actually like him (one of the several I've known). | |
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| Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 2/5/2012 4:21:04 AM |
If the situation arose would you go back with someone from your past?
Now that would be a tricky one for me without a time machine. The only ex boyfriend I might have considered getting back with isn't alive anymore. | |
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| Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 2/5/2012 4:57:06 AM | It all depends on the reasons for everything. I do not myself have any ex's that I would want to even see on a regular basis, much less get back together with.
But if I had one who I split up with because we were headed into different lives, and not because of deceit, lies, hatred, abuse, or whatever negatives drive most couples apart, then yes, certainly I could imagine finding that our life paths had evolved to make us compatible again, and could make a go of things. | |
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| Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 2/5/2012 5:08:05 AM | | Only one, if he had some major changes in perspective and offered an apology. I would apologize also. However, I am not under any illusion that that is ever going to happen. | |
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| Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 2/5/2012 5:47:07 AM | I agree with Igor on the hypotheticals, but that's never happened.
I have ZERO interest in going back to anyone from my past, even the 1 or 2 I still stay in touch with from time to time. That would be like chewing something that's already been chewed to death. Good god... If I'm gonna get tired of another relationship, I gotta start with fresh meat.
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| Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 2/5/2012 8:55:38 AM | Yes. My first husband.
Everyone after him paled by comparison as far as being a stand-up guy who would have been there through the good and the bad.
It's sad I was too young and stupid to see those qualities back then. | |
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| Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 2/5/2012 9:06:27 AM | Part of me would say yes, the other part would slap that b*tch for even thinking about it.
As trite as it sounds, yes there is a reason someone is an ex and they probably have not changed the things that made you leave them in the first place, and that is a pity. | |
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| Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 2/5/2012 9:26:15 AM | Yes, per Igor's rationale.
MUCH hinges on the reasons for the original split. In one instance, circumstances beyond our control got in the way of our being able to continue forward. Parting was painful, and full of regret, for us both, though we knew we had no other viable choice. There were no bad vibes, and no incompatibility had surfaced, and no betrayals had taken place. Simply put...life threw a curve ball.
When circumstances changed, later on, we did try again. Now, a different question is IF one can succeed on a later try. We found we could not...too much time had elapsed, too much life had taken place, and in reality what we yearned for (the old familiarity and intimacy we'd had) was not attainable. It was actually sad to be awkward w/ someone who'd once been so close. We gave it up for good the 2nd time. | |
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| Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 2/5/2012 9:51:48 AM | ...At one time I would have answered yes with no hesitation. I did not want our marriage to end. The first couple of years were tortuous for me after the split. When I think back, I wonder why would I have even considered taking him back. *shakes head* Time not only heals all, it makes one much wiser (in most cases)
It's funny.....I rarely think of him anymore.
Divine....you look fabulous...love the new pic.
...mae | |
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| Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 2/5/2012 10:12:02 AM | If your love for your "ex", has not turned to hate, I think it normal to wonder what if about much of it.
As time moves on, one has the chance to step back and evaluate all that happened and what you allowed to happen, and most will come to the realization that it takes two to make a marriage happen, two to make it work, and two to break one up.....
I am happy that my "ex" is just that, but I also know that she is a good mother to our child, and when we were happy together, she was also awesome to herself and to me. I will always find a place in my heart that still loves her, but I more than know that I am not in love with her anymore.
End of discussion for me, and time to move on to the next adventure and person that will enjoy it with me.....
cd.............  | |
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kja71
| | Joined: 12/21/2011
Msg: 18 | |
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| Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 2/5/2012 1:14:45 PM | | I agree with SeaCatcher. Shouldn't mistake physical attraction of the past as deep feelings for in the present though either. If they're a current ex you already know the reason not to go back with them too. | |
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| Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 2/5/2012 1:28:48 PM | I don't think there's a right or wrong answer to this. We all evolve, or at least I hope we do, so if our paths cross with someone from our past and whatever barriers prevented us from keeping the relationship going then aren't barriers any more than why not give it another go.
I've known of couples who split and much later got back together again and made it stick the second time. I've had a few do overs my self where ultimately we again parted, but not with real hard feelings.
Once I rediscovered an ex when we both knew we'd be moving to very different parts of the country in a few months to pursue different career paths but decided to rekindle for the short term. Sure, the emotional investment was less than if were in for the long haul but we still cared a lot about each other and didn't have to go through all the awkward getting to know you stuff new couples do. It worked well for what it was.
Of course that same familiarity can mean falling back into less healthy old habits as well, and therein lies the challenge. I'd think if I was to connect with an ex today I'd want us both to identify why things didn't work out before and tackle those issues head on to prevent a repeat.
I certainly wouldn't rule out the concept. | |
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| Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 2/5/2012 2:36:02 PM | | NO! I did that for 5 years, off & on, back & forth! I won't ever do it again! Last time he called & I told him no, he was shocked, lol, he even asked what the heck was wrong with me? I think I finally realized you can't re-do or undo the past. | |
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| Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 2/5/2012 3:09:59 PM | the reason one ex IS an ex was due to "marriage" issues ... since we resolved the marriage issues by not being married, he and I can and do spend quite a bit of time together ... I no longer expect him to do anything! I don't expect him to be romantically or in any other way faithful to me ... I don't care how he mismanages HIS money! because we're no longer attached legally! while I'm perfectly happy being friends with him, I would NO WAY ... EVER ... consider marrying him again or being romantic with him again ... I'm not stupid and his issues regarding "marriage" haven't changed ... but, for friends, he's great ...
another ex, wow ... I'd be very tempted ... he was smokin' hot ... I'd definitely be tempted ... soooo tempted!
but ... there was a song, "it's all coming back to me now!" about a woman who was "getting physical" with an ex and it was all coming back to her how great he was ... I remember thinking, "give it a week, honey, and it'll ALL come back to you! and you'll remember why you split in the first place!" I suspect that's closer to the truth!
it's sure fun to think about though ... | |
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| Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 2/5/2012 3:51:01 PM | | I only have 2 ex's the 1st one shoot me if I ever even thought it. The 2nd one is so screwed up it would take him a lifetime to straighten out. So Im sure one of us would die before that happened. Other guys I had dated in high school and nursing school hmmmm maybe Im sure some of em grew up to be some nice looking men! | |
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