| | Prove it!Page 1 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) | I have in the past, asked for ID when meeting a man for the first time. No advance warning, just hey, let me see your ID so I know you are who you say you are. Only one completely said no so that was the end of that. Actually that man and I had not met in person yet but I asked him to take a picture of his id and send it.
Currently there is a man I have meet up with twice and have not asked him for anything. Actually I haven't asked him much about himself because to be honest, I enjoy his company and he seems to enjoy mine but he does not live in the area, only comes here on business on a somewhat regualar basis. So I haven't felt the need to know to much, if that makes sense. It has kept things very easy going this way.
BUT.... I think the potential is there for us to 'hook up', though for sure I will be safe about it. We are both adults so I don't see the harm.
I plan to ask to see his id.
Does this weird guys out? Do other women or men do this? | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 12:53:16 PM | It weirds ME out.
Why would you need to see someone's ID?
Do you do that with people you meet in real life?
That's at least bordering on paranoia, if not already over the line.
<div class="quote"> Actually that man and I had not met in person yet but I asked him to take a picture of his id and send it. </div class="quote">
Like it would be smart to send your personal information to a complete stranger over the Internet.
I do not find it a good basis to start a relationship with.
Women have not done it with me.
 | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 1:02:28 PM | You got a point about the real life situation, but often when you meet someone in real life, they know someone you know or there is some common thread so you at least know they are that person.
The above mentioned guy who wouldn't send proof had other reasons I later discovered for not honoring my request.
Paranoid, yes a bit. But I read the stories on here. | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 1:31:56 PM | | Name, rank and serial number..oh and blood test results..best pick up lines. ;-} | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 1:34:08 PM | | I find it completely hilarious you think seeing someone's ID makes them somehow a good legit person. | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 1:39:31 PM | | I didn't say it makes them a good legit person. It makes them who they say they are. | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 1:41:51 PM | who doesn't have three or four fake id's, a burn phone, a dead address block, and the car hidden under extra territorial shell company ?
One of my addresses they ended up building a fire station on.... as far as I know, they still get junk mail with my alias on it. | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 1:42:11 PM | I should fix you up with the guy I went out with who got his driver's license out and literally flipped it across the table at me before I even got my coat off on our first meeting. (Which was a dinner date, so there, all you meet&greeter's  )
I had never had anyone do that before, but he told me he did it all the time because he felt it made us womens more comfortable. It really had no effect on me, because I meet in public places, and I ask questions and converse with him and get to know him. If any of my "deception" red flags start to edge up the pole, I don't go out with him again. And anybody can make a fake ID and flip it across the table at you. ID doesn't guarantee anything. | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 1:45:40 PM | | You asked a guy for a picture of his ID over the internet? You know that men get stalked just like women right? There IS private information on them. Like your address. | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 1:59:35 PM | Does this weird guys out?
I'd think it's weird, if for no other reason that I can't imagine what you have to gain from it. Are you going to make this an even exchange so that he can get a look at your ID and find out where you live? Wouldn't you be much better off not giving out personal information until you decided you wanted to meet a guy a second time? I didn't give out my last name unless I was going to meet someone a second time and I certainly wouldn't have given someone an ID just to meet for dinner once.
Do other women or men do this?
I didn't and no woman I ever met did.
It makes them who they say they are.
I don't think that's a fair assumption, but if you want to trade ID's then he'll know that you are who you say you are and he'll know where you live. If you want to be safe, you ought to take measures that don't require another person to do what you expect. It isn't the people who do what you expect that you have to worry about. Just don't give out any personal information and meet in a public place.
Ok, so I am a nut! LOL
...
And yes, I have no issue tit-for-tat. I will present my ID too.
I don't know about being a nut, but you're certainly misgiuided. You're willing to give up your own safety by giving someone your ID in exchange for seeing his ID, which really gains you nothing.
Seeing someone's ID doesn't mean I have to see the actual address on it,
Seeing someone's last name is enough to get the person's address. In any case, wouldn't you think it's a little weird to have a guy give you an ID that has some information taped over or otherwise hidden?
I do realize men get stalked.
The chances are a lot lower by not giving someone you don't know that information in the first place.
And at that point, if they have told me their full name and what city they live in
I wouldn't have told you that much until after I met you, decided you probably weren't a nutcase and decided to go out with you again. | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 2:04:48 PM | Ok, so I am a nut! LOL
Seeing someone's ID doesn't mean I have to see the actual address on it, if they are concerned I am going to stalk them. And at that point, if they have told me their full name and what city they live in AND it was truth, then I could already have the address. That is IF they told the truth.
And yes, I have no issue tit-for-tat. I will present my ID too.
I do realize men get stalked. But I highly doubt most men fear for their safety. Of course I have been wrong before. | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 2:29:11 PM | No, you are not a "nut."
On the other hand, I don't think that it puts forth a positive first impression to ask to see someone's ID...
I dunno. I'm still new at this stuff, but I'd hope that before a first meeting/date enough conversation has gone on to establish some of the basics and establish some sort of trust.
But I am naive... Oh well. | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 2:33:24 PM | Not naive.
While I have asked for id on first meets in the past, this current man and I have met in real life twice and I have yet to ask him for the above reasons. Still deciding how to proceed. | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 2:42:39 PM | :: shrugs ::
I think the whole point of a first meet is for both parties to prove that they are at least the person portrayed in the pictures on their profile without any guarantees of future commitment or a relationship.
However, I've never been burned either, so I don't feel the need to ask for other forms of verification.
I'm well aware that the risk is higher for women, so I'll go out of my way to make sure they are comfortable with the first meet, up to and including going to meet them in a locale THEY are comfortable with, even if it's inconvenient for me. | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 2:44:16 PM | | I understand your concern. But, you are putting these men in a very uncomfortable position. They do not know you anymore than you know them. How can they know what you intend to do with that information? That's the kind of information you use for identity theft. No way in the world would I comply with that kind of request. And, I wouldn't expect a man to either. | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 2:49:41 PM |
if they have told me their full name and what city they live in AND it was truth, then I could already have the address. That is IF they told the truth.
I'm willing to take that bet. I'll give you my name and city and you message me my address.
Edit: Oh wait I see you added a completely irrelevant piece "IF they told the truth" so if you can't find it then it MUST be that they lied. hahaha you're crazy. | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 3:25:23 PM | (softy599) I have in the past, asked for ID when meeting a man for the first time. No advance warning, just hey, let me see your ID so I know you are who you say you are. Only one completely said no so that was the end of that. Actually that man and I had not met in person yet but I asked him to take a picture of his id and send it.
*shrug* I'd demand that you drop your pants in return. Y0u know, to "prove" that you're really a woman, and not a CD.
(from a later post) And yes, I have no issue tit-for-tat. I will present my ID too.
I wouldn't "tit for tat" with YOUR question -- I would ask you an oddball question that would make you as uncomfortable as your question would (supposedly) make me.
(from a later post) Paranoid, yes a bit. But I read the stories on here.
Not paranoid yes a bit, but paranoid yes a LOT. If you're so influenced by the "stories" you "read... on here", then perhaps online dating is not for you.
Arlo...  | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 3:32:51 PM |
But I highly doubt most men fear for their safety.
not in the same immediate physical way, mostly, but a guy still has a lot at stake. and the fool who showed you his ID risked it. are you an identity thief? the front for the guys with the guns in a robbery scheme? should i trust that you're not simply because you're willing to show me a card? no, i determine whether you can be trusted by spending some time with you. until then, you don't have my last name or my work info or my home address.
when you define for someone the means by which they can 'prove' themselves, you've just told them what it takes to fool you. | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 4:32:43 PM | It would weird me out. If someone asked to see my ID on a first meeting, I'd save her the trouble of it being the end of that. It would be the end of that for me. I'd turn around and walk out. Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!
If you're so paranoid about dating that you feel you need ask guys for their ID...don't date. Seriously.
I only show my ID to bouncers and sworn police officers.
 | |
|
Law212
| | Joined: 10/2/2011
Msg: 20 | |
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 4:45:31 PM | "What a nutjob" is what my first thought would be if asked for my I.D.
That was also my first thought when reading your post OP. Though I have had women as k to browse through my wallet and i usually give in since sometimes it can lead to more conversation and her asking to browse my wallet doesnt come off as creepy like .
"I want to see your I.D " does. | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 5:05:06 PM | | It maybe "weird" but, I don't find it "nutbarish". In fact I remember on one of my first "meets",,,at a restaurant, and the hostess called my name for us to go to our table, and the lady I was with looked at me and said, "soooooo, ______, IS your REAL name????" I laughed,but afterwards I kinda got where she was coming from. It really phucked with her mind when I also saw a friend of mine at the restaurant who came by and called me by nicname "Walter". She figured out pretty quickly that night, that yes, I was me. | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 5:24:28 PM | Lmao, sorry but that is funny
Never did i do this nor a guy do that to me..
well one wanted toprove his age and showed me, donno why lol | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 5:34:56 PM |
In fact I remember on one of my first "meets",,,at a restaurant, and the hostess called my name for us to go to our table, and the lady I was with looked at me and said, "soooooo, ______, IS your REAL name????" I laughed,but afterwards I kinda got where she was coming from. It really phucked with her mind when I also saw a friend of mine at the restaurant who came by and called me by nicname "Walter". She figured out pretty quickly that night, that yes, I was me.
If the first meet is at a restaurant, I always say that "Awesome" is my first name.
I think every woman wants to be part of an Awesome party of two, don't you? :D | |
|
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 5:49:52 PM | All I know is, that I would be completely comfortable with it, and would take the opportunity instantly to demand an exchange of ID's.
Comparing ugly drivers license pictures has long been a early dating game where I grew up. That, and the fact that my job requires me to show proof of who I am to pretty much every person I meet, so I might not even notice that it was my hot date demanding the ID.
A for the thought behind it, that wouldn't bother me either. I am proud to be the honest person I am, and I am all too aware of how many liars and cheats there are out there.
Besides, it opens up a whole set of extra getting-to-know conversation possibilities. | |
|
A_Gent
| | Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 25 | |
| Prove it!
Posted: 2/9/2012 6:03:48 PM | | Are you willing to return the favour? | |
|
Home
login 
